Chapter Six – Scars (Draco's POV)
Hermione and I have been living together for about two years now in my house in Appledore. During the school year, when I teach she lives there by herself. During the summer, we live there together, which worked out really well the first summer. In July, we took a vacation to Madrid, since Hermione had two weeks off from work. This summer has not gone nearly as well.
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
Before this summer, Hermione had always been relatively happy and she would tell me when something was bothering her. When I was at Hogwarts, she would often owl me, just to tell me about work. In January, this changed however. She barely owled me at all. I owled her a few times asking her what was wrong. She responded that work was more stressful. I asked her what was more stressful. She replied that she had seen more children come through St. Mungo's that were injured in serious medical accidents. She said that several of these children had died, more children than she had seen die before.
Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed 'cause you came around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is
The day after school ended for the year, the train came back for me and the other teachers. It left at 5:00p.m, so I didn't get to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters until about 11:00p.m. I then found my suitcase of stuff, which happened to be in a different compartment from where I was, and apparated home.
I came in the door of the house that Hermione and I lived in to find her lying on the couch, drinking a glass of butterbeer. She smelled strongly of alcohol, and I saw at least five empty bottles of butterbeer on the end table next to her. She then said "Hello," and I could tell she was drunk.
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
"Hey honey," I said. "When did you get home from work?"
"I dunno. Nine 'o clock or so. Why?" Hermione asked. She sound drunk as she could be. I remembered when I was an alcoholic back in college before the accident. She sounded a lot like me.
"I'm just wondering," I replied hesitantly.
"Why?" she asked.
I wasn't sure, but I had the feeling that this wasn't the first the first time she had come home from work and gotten drunk. I had the strangest feeling she had become like I was. I had the strangest feeling she was turning into an alcoholic, and I had no clue how to help her. I didn't know whether to confront her now or wait until later. I stood there trying to figure out what to say.
"Hello! Say something!" said Hermione, bringing me back to the present.
"I just wanted to know. How was work today?" I asked.
"It was a little stressful..." replied Hermione. "No more stressful than usual, however."
"Is it usually pretty stressful?" I asked.
"Yeah, but I can stand it. I'm supposed to be able to deal with it. I'm a Healer, remember?"
"Yes, I'm fully aware of that. But, I'm not sure you know how to deal with it in the right way."
"What the heck do you mean by that?"
"I'll tell you in the morning. When you're not drunk."
"I'm not right now."
"Yeah, right! How many bottles of butterbeer have you had?"
"I dunno. Only two or three."
"You're lying. There's –" Draco took some time count the empty bottles of butterbeer. "five empty bottles on this end table, plus the one you're almost finished with. That's a total of six!"
"I'm not drunk!"
"You are! Stop drinking and go to sleep! I will talk to you in the morning before you leave for work. This discussion is not over."
"What is there to discuss?"
"Everything," I said. I went over to Hermione and took the bottle of butterbeer from her and turned off the light. "Goodnight. I love you and the only reason why I am yelling at you is for your own good," I said to Hermione, kissing her on the forehead. I then took the empty butterbeer bottles and threw them out. I also poured the remainder of the butterbeer Hermione was drinking in the sink. Hermione and I happened to own two couches so I slept on the other couch.
I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand
The next day was Saturday. I woke up at 9:30, got up and made coffee. I then made eggs and toast. Hermione woke up at 10:00 and came over from the living room to the kitchen.
"Good morning, dear," I said to Hermione.
"Mornin'," she replied, sleepily.
She had a hand on her head like it was hurting, so I asked her if she had a headache.
"She replied, "Yes."
I asked her if she wanted coffee.
"She asked, "Is it decaf?"
I replied, "Yes."
"Then I would love some."
I poured her some coffee. I finished making the eggs and toast, and then gave some to Hermione. She put butter on her toast and ate her food. I then ate my food. We ate in silence for the first few minutes.
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
"Did you sleep well?" Hermione asked.
"No, I didn't. Did you?" I asked.
"Pretty good."
"That's good. You were out like a light last night."
"Why didn't you sleep well?"
I thought about my answer. "To be honest, I was worried about you."
"Why?"
"You haven't communicated with me much. You barely owled me this spring. In fact, if I hadn't written you, you wouldn't have communicated with me at all."
"I'm sorry. My work hours are really long and I've been really stressed out lately."
"I understand. Something else that worries me is last night."
"What about it?"
"You were drinking pretty heavily."
"So? I had a bad day at work! I needed an escape from the stress of work."
"Is that the first time you've drunk to relieve stress?"
"Yes."
I couldn't tell if she was lying or not, so I just said, "Ok. Whatever you say. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me."
"Ok."
"What time are you leaving for work?"
"In about an hour. I gotta shower and get ready."
"Ok, I replied. Hermione went upstairs and showered. She then came back downstairs and said goodbye and left.
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself
A week later at about 11:00 at night, I was sitting on the couch, reading The Daily Prophet, when I heard an urgent tap on the window. I went and opened the window. There was an owl with a letter attached to it. I took the letter off the owl's leg. The owl flew out the window, and I read the letter:
Dear Mr. Malfoy,
About an hour ago, a woman by the name of Hermione Granger arrived at St. Mungo's. She was brought here by a Healer. She was involved in a broom crash. The Healer who found her had a blood alcohol test done on her and it was found to be at .15, which as you may or may not know is above the legal limit of .08.
Sincerely,
Healer William Dodges
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my life
I immediately headed up to St. Mungo's.
"Hello, how may I help you?" asked the Healer who was serving as a receptionist at the front desk.
"I'm here to see Hermione Granger. My name is Draco Malfoy, and I got a letter about fifteen minutes ago regarding an accident she was involved in," I replied.
"What was the name of the Healer who sent you the letter?" asked the Healer.
"William Dodges."
"Go to the second floor, Department of Transportation Accidents."
Draco headed up the stairs and headed to the Department of Transportation Accidents. When he got there, he found a small waiting room. He went up to the desk and talked to the Healer. She told him to wait for Hermione's Healer to come and talk to him. Five minutes later, he did.
"Hello, Mr. Malfoy," said the Healer, William Dodges.
"Hello," responded Draco. "How is Hermione?"
"Considering the situation, she is doing quite well. The Healer who found her saw the crash happen, as Hermione did not have any sort of invisibility cloak or spell on her, and was able to bring her straight to St. Mungo's. This allowed us to begin healing her very quickly, and lessened the blood loss."
"So she's okay, then?"
"Yes. She's gunna be fine. Actually, she'll probably wake up later on today. We had to give her a dreamless sleep potion so that her broken bones would heal quickly."
"Ok. Thank you."
"Do you have any other questions?"
"Yes, actually. How did you know to owl me?"
"As you know, Hermione works at St. Mungo's. As policy, Healers are required to fill out registration paperwork. Part of includes filling out a section bad that tells us who owl if something bad was to happen to her. You were that contact."
"Ok. That makes sense."
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
"Any other questions?"
"Yes. Since Hermione was under the influence of alcohol, she is receiving an R.U.I, correct?"
"Correct. She is also facing charges of Muggle Enlightenment, because of the many muggles who saw her riding the broomstick, which has caused many security problems for the Ministry of Magic. Also, due to these charges against her, St. Mungo's has to suspend her from the Healer staff indefinitely.
"I understand."
"You can go in and see her now, if you'd like."
"I will," I said, and I went to Hermione's room. I held her hand until she woke up, a half hour later.
"Hello," said Hermione, groggily.
"You're awake," I exclaimed.
"What happened?"
"You crashed while you were riding a broomstick."
"Oh."
"And you were drunk while riding it."
"Oh. Am I in a lot of trouble for that?"
"Yes. You got a R.U.I –"
"Which is?"
"Similar to D.U.I –"
"Oh. I know what that is. It is something muggles get if they drive while drunk. So a R.U.I is for when you ride a broomstick drunk."
"Yup."
"What's the punishment for a R.U.I?"
"Jail time. Six months to a year. Or you can go to a Wizards' treatment center for alcoholism."
"I don't need to do that!"
"Hermione!"
"I don't need to a treatment center for alcoholism."
"Hermione –"
"I don't!"
"Ok. Fine, think that! But this conversation is not over!"
"Did I get into any other legal trouble?"
"Yes. You also got charged with Muggle Enlightenment. Do you know what that is for?"
"No. What is it, and why did I get it?"
"It's for disrupting Wizard security. You got it because muggles could see you when you rode your broomstick."
"Oh."
"And because of these charges, you have been suspended from the Healer staff."
"For how long?"
"Indefinitely."
Just then, the Healer came. "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over. You'll have to leave," said the Healer.
"Ok. Bye, Hermione, I'll come and see you tomorrow," I said, before kissing Hermione and leaving.
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
"Hey Hermione," I said walking into her room at St. Mungo's. "How are you?"
"I'm okay," replied Hermione. "You seem sad. What's wrong?"
"You almost died less than one day ago. Of course I would be sad."
"Yeah, but I'm okay now. You should be happy!"
"Hermione! Not only were you almost killed, but you've gotten a R.U.I and a charge of Muggle Enlightenment and you've been suspended from St. Mungo's. I do not think everything is fine!"
"What do you mean?"
"Hermione, I want you to be honest with me."
Ok," she replied, confused, apparently unaware of why I had asked that.
"The night I came home for the summer, you were drunk, and I asked you if it had been the first time, you said 'yes'. I ask you now if you were telling the truth?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"Why?"
"Yes."
"Because I want to know!"
"Why?"
"Because if that wasn't the first time, you might have a drinking problem."
"I don't!"
"Hermione, I know what it's like! Remember? I was an alcoholic at one time!"
"You think that everyone who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic just because you were!"
"No, I don't!"
"Then why do you think I am?"
"I just see you saying and doing stuff that I did when I was an alcoholic."
"Like what?"
"Forgetting how much you drink –"
"What? When did I do that?"
"The night I came home from Hogwarts for the summer, I asked you that night how many glasses of butterbeer you had drunk. You replied, 'two or three.' But, Hermione, do you know many empty glasses of butterbeer there was on the table next to you?"
"How many?"
"Five. Plus the one you had in your hand, which was half empty by the time I got home!"
"Oh."
"Not to mention, the reason you drink adds to my suspicions!"
"No, but it's similar!"
"How? How is anything that I'm going through now similar to what you went through? How is my reason similar to yours?"
"I began drinking when my mother died. You began drinking when work became more demanding and when kids that you healed didn't survive, correct?"
"Yes, I'll admit that's the reason that I drink when I do."
"I drank to forget my mother's death. You drink to forget deaths of your patients."
"You could say that's true, maybe."
"Then I'll ask you again, did you begin drinking before I came home for the summer?"
"Yes! Fine! I'll admit it! I did!"
"When did you start?"
"January."
"How often did you drink?"
"Twice a week, sometimes more."
"You're telling me the truth?"
"Yes, I am telling the truth. What the heck does this have to do with anything?"
"Hermione, everything you have just said and everything I know about the past two weeks confirms my suspicions now."
"What would those be?"
"That you're an alcoholic and that you should get help for it!"
"I'm not!"
"Hermione, I have to go. Visiting hours are just about over. Please think about what I've said!" I said. I kissed Hermione, and then left St. Mungo's and went home.
Two days later... I returned to St Mungo's to see Hermione. "Hey, honey," I said. "How are you?"
"I'm doing well. The Healer says I'll be getting out tomorrow," replied Hermione.
"That's wonderful!"
"I was thinking about what you said two days ago. I think you're right."
"Oh?"
"I'm going to request that I go to a Wizard's treatment center for alcoholism, instead of prison."
"That's good."
We continued talking, until visiting hours were over. I left and went home.
The next day, Hermione was released from Hogwarts. Since Hermione was injured in the broom crash, she wasn't allowed to apparate home, I had to rent a car and drive her home.
The following day, Hermione's punishment for the R.U.I and charge of Muggle Enlightenment was decided. She was granted her request to go to a Wizard's treatment center and was fined two galleons for the charge of Muggle Enlightenment.
The next Monday, she left for the treatment center...
Lyrics: "Scars" by Papa Roach