Rating: R
Warning: May eventually contain slash
Category: Humor/Romance
Summary: Hermione undergoes a change in thinking and is determined to enjoy her last year to the fullest. Wacky hi jinks and craziness ensue leading to a list of amusing new rules for her, friendships with slytherins, and romance. This is my first attempt at any kind of fiction so please be kind. Constructive criticism is wanted, flames will be ignored. Hermione is a little OOC because of her change in thinking.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the Harry Potter Universe and all it's characters, I'm just playing with them for a bit. There may be slash as I said so you have been warned. I got the basic Idea for this story from the list 213 things skippy is no longer allowed to do in the army. I stole some of those things on the list as I could just hear them being said in the HP universe. Oh yeah and I don't own DR Seuss stuff either. I'm just borrowing it for fun. The title is a Dr. Seuss quote also.
Being a bit scatter brained I may get class schedules wrong. I didn't actually write one out so if I misplace a class day do forgive me. I'm working with the impression that classe times change from time to time.
Sorry it took me so long to update but I got a bit busy, I'll try and update at least once a week or more in the future.
Big Thanks to my Beta Gelsey. Whom without things would be less error free!
This chapter is dedicated to wild-child24-7 as she is the one who came up with the idea for it. Thanks Wild Child24-7!
Mary7 - Thank you. I'm just glad you found it humorous.
RyanKathrynCelia - Thanks I will.
Amanda - Completley understandable. ;-) Of course slave master as you wish. hehe I'll eventually tell you all. (EG)
sevfank - Thanks.
Mya Snape- Thank you, glad your enjoying. I was hoping it wasn't too strange.
iccle mousie the potions ingredient- Glad I could make you laugh. I thought that fit well and who doesn't like Lucky Charms. hehe
N- - Glad you like it. I like reading angst but fun is more my thing. Thank you very much though I'm not half as talented as many out there. ;-)
Romm - True, but no rules? (gasp) She's clever but not that clever. hehe
Emperor's Sister - Yes Lupin is fun to play with isn't he? ;-) Dr Suess was so fun to do too.
coldqueen - Lol I heard it somewhere on Fanfiction in another Harry Potter story. I just assumed it was a british word this yank had never heard. LOL
lil pixie - No thanks necessary, I think you have a wonderful way with words and would read anything you deined to write. Did I spell deined right? LOL I used to too, this is the first story I've actually followed through on. I guess it just takes the right muse. Thank you. I've not seen a fic yet where he asks for advice, others meddle yes, but never asking for the advice. I thought it would be a new twist. Jim Carrey rocks. Well eventually all will know what was in the essay, I'm not withholding without a reason. (EG) Just so you know I'm dedicating my very last chapter to you, its not this one don't panic. Still quite a few more to go but I plan to end it with a bang. ;-)
Lucyferina- There's nothing I enjoy more than being able to make someone smile.
Elfgirl - Thank you.
lgobgirlie15 - Thank you and I can definitly sympathise with that, Been there, done that, beat computer. LOL
Setsfan - Thanks. Yes they do don't they? It's cuz he's mellowed I think.
adymoonserpent - Thank you. Please don't fall. hehe
pretendingtobesane - Thanks. I really love your nic. I feel like that alot.
lama - I will, I will. Thanks. Ages? LMAO!!!
i love Snape - And don't we all love him. LOL Thank you.
samantha snape - Thank you. And wonder no more. hehe
eth- *Smiles* Thanks I'm glad.
*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 17
Detentions so far 20. List of things Hermione can no longer do at Hogwarts 22
Hermione and Lupin agreed it would be best to put the plan into action on Monday, as then Harry would have classes and he couldn't just hide away in his dorm.
At breakfast the following morning the Headmaster announced they would be having a holiday ball for the fourth through seventh years on New Years Eve. They would also have an extra Hogsmeade weekend so that students would be able to get whatever they needed.
Hermione thought to herself, "Oh great, another thing I can do alone." Everyone around her was all excited, even Ron and Harry. Harry leaned over and asked if she thought that he should ask Dray or let him do the asking. She of course thought he had better ask the Slytherin Prince...ss, getting a laugh from those listening and a glare from Harry for calling Dray a princess.
It wasn't until later when Ginny was reminiscing over how Fred and George had bribed Peeves to cause a distraction so that they could spike the punch at the last dance that Hermione started to think this ball just might be fun. Of course Peeves had officially been uninvited to any future parties but she thought she knew a way around that.
Mione quickly finished the rest of her breakfast and went off to search the castle. After about an hour of following clues, interrogating portraits and armor, she finally found her quarry.
"Hello Peeves, just the poltergeist I was looking for," Mione smiled at his surprised look.
"I've got an offer for you, one you just can't refuse," she told him, as she beckoned him into an empty classroom to tell him of her plan.
By the time Hermione had to go meet Severus for dinner that evening she was a nervous wreck and had actually been asked to the ball by no less that 3 boys. It seemed Slytherins weren't as slow as Gryffindors when it came to asking. Mione had changed clothes at least twenty times and despaired of ever getting her hair to do anything right. Mione knew it was just a friendly dinner away from the noise and crowd of the Hall but she was a bundle of nerves anyway.
She knocked on Severus's chamber door at precisely 6pm and offered him a blinding smile when he opened it.
"Do come in Hermione," he said, stepping back and allowing her to enter. "You look enchanting this evening."
"Why thank you Severus," Mione said, blushing. "You look quite nice yourself. I do believe green is your color."
"Thank you. Do sit down, I'll get the drinks." Severus said sweeping out of the room.
He offered her a glass of champagne and let her know they were having Shrimp Linguini, if that was alright with her, which, as it was her favorite, it was. They had a lovely meal with delightful conversation and chocolate mousse for dessert.
"Are you looking forward to the New Years Ball?" Severus asked, hoping for an opening to ask her if she would dance with him.
"Oh yes, I can't wait for the Ball. I think I will definitely have a lot of fun," Mione said with a laugh and a twinkle in her eyes.
"I'm glad to hear that. I do hope you will do me the honor of saving me a dance, Miss Granger," he said, smiling back at her.
"Oh my Severus, I do believe that would make half the room faint in shock. Of course I would be happy to dance with you."
"Are you going with your friends then?" Severus asked her.
"No, my date asked if we could go on our own."
"Your date? Well that was quick. So that's why you believe it will be so fun." Severus stated, his heart breaking.
Hermione, not knowing why Severus seemed so down now, just assumed he wasn't looking forward to chaperoning, cheerily said,
"Yes. This will definitely be a date to remember."
"So who is your date?" Severus asked, wishing he could break the little sod's legs.
"Now that is something I'm not telling. You'll see when I get there. Do make sure you don't take off within the first hour. I plan on dancing the first dance with you," Mione said, smiling shyly.
"Won't your new beau be upset if you don't dance the first dance with him?"
"Trust me, it won't bother him at all," Mione said with a wicked grin.
They talked until it was almost curfew. He walked her back to the Gryffindor tower, where he told how much he enjoyed their evening and to say good night.
Mione fell asleep that night dreaming of a life with Severus, a smile on her lips.
Severus went to Minerva to pour out his broken heart.
"Sometimes," Albus thought to himself, "It amazed him how two otherwise extremely intelligent people can be so blind."
*~*~*~*~
Mione was still smiling when she got ready to go to classes Monday morning. She had spent half the day Sunday playing backgammon with Severus. She almost felt bad for how she was going to torment Harry today. Then she just thought about all of the times he had embarrassed and teased her and it passed. So she grabbed her Phantom of the Opera mask, her pink stuffed snake, and headed to the Great Hall for breakfast.
After breakfast as the Gryffindor seventh years were walking to their first class, Mione pulled her mask out and put it on and got her stuffed snake out. Ron and Harry were looking at her as if she were crazy.
"Mione," Harry began, only to be cut off.
"I am She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and now you must pay. Sic em Bassy!" Mione cackled and started chasing Harry with the pink stuffed snake.
"Mione!" Harry shrieked, embarrassed. "Cut it out."
"I am She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, were you not listening?"
Mione chased him all the way into the Potions Room, where Severus upon seeing this display just sat down at his desk and laughed. He found it so amusing he told her to carry on tormenting Harry and assigned the class an essay and gave them a free period. The class while stunned didn't waste any time leaving.
By the end of the day Harry was running out of his classes trying to avoid Mione. Blushing beet red whenever she caught up with him. He had thought McGonagall had put a stop to it after transfigurations when she had, albeit stifling a laugh, sternly told Mione, "It's not acceptable to call yourself that and chase Harry with a snake. Even if it is stuffed."
It wasn't until Dray and Mils, laughing like crazy, explained he'd brought it upon himself that he screamed at Hermione.
"I take it back, I don't need a villain to keep me on my toes." Then promptly transfigured Mione's snake into a teddy bear and her mask into a pair of sunglasses and proclaimed. "I am the Hero and I banish the villain in the end anyway."
Mione fell to the floor laughing and squirming due to the tickling charm Harry was using on her.
"Stop!!! I give, She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is defeated!"
"Death by Tickles!" Harry crowed.
*~*~*~*~
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