Never Alone

Gabrielle's Eyes:

I wept against Erik's chest for what seemed like hours until I couldn't cry any longer. I felt everything within my dry up as the last of my tears fell down my cheeks onto Erik's mantle.

"My love…" He cooed against my head, "Do not work yourself up so…it cannot be good for the baby…"

"Oh please…do not bring that up." I grumbled, not wanting to think about the child that was growing to life in my very body.

"Gabby…you cannot hate the young infant because of this…If anything, it's our fault, not the baby's." I watched as he swallowed hard. "Do you regret the child?"

I smiled up at him, hearing the sadness in the question. I knew what he was truly asking. Do you regret loving me? I thought about his question in its literal form. "No, my husband…I do not regret the child…Every child you have given me has been a gift…I love them all, as I will most certainly adore this one…I just cannot help but worry about what may come of this…Raoul cannot be kind and caring for too long without revealing what he truly seeks…and I know that if he finds out I am pregnant…-" I stopped, unable to continue the train of thought my mind had taken. Erik gently rubbed his hand up and down my back, attempting to calm me with his touch. I melted into him and sighed as I closed my eyes, completely exhausted by the frenzy of emotion I was experiencing.

"My love…I will never allow him to harm you! You know this."

"Yes…but what if he calls the police down upon you? You cannot protect the children and I very well from jail, now can you?…and then…if Raoul is angry and he strikes me again…"

"I wont let him do that to you !…he nearly killed you!"

"At this point, I don't care! But I do care if he harms me and ends up killing the baby! I want you to have this child Erik! You deserve to love and care for any child you sire!"

"Gabrielle! Why is it that you always care more about me, than you do yourself?" he wondered aloud as he placed his hand on the back of my head.

"Because I love you."

"Than why did you attempt to leave me?"

"I didn't originally intend to do so…I went to the doctor's first…when you asked me if I had felt dizzy and ill before, I remembered that I had had that feeling a few times, always before I found out I was with child…and so I went to speak with the doctor…and when I found out I was indeed pregnant…I couldn't go back…I cant look at Raoul without fearing for my life…for my child's…our child's! Oh Erik…thinking about it makes me sick!"

"Hush now!" he soothed, his lips against my temple, "You need to rest now…forget about this for awhile…come with me…" With that he lifted me gently to my feet, at which point I swayed slightly, before I felt his arms come around my waist. "Easy…" he murmured.

"I'm alright…"

"So you said earlier."

He helped me along, through the hall and into the main chamber of his home, walking me over to a grouping of items, all covered in dusty sheets. He used one hand to pull off the coverings as his other hand still rested on my hip.

"Erik…I can stand on my own long enough for you to do that." He looked at me uncertainly before letting go of me, and after waiting a moment to make sure I wasn't about to fall, he went about brushing off the old burgundy couch. A moment later, Erik had me on the couch, sprawled out with a blanket draped over me. The sound of pouring rain and crashing thunder sounded far off in the distance and I then took in Erik's appearance and realized that he was drenched to the bone, having clearly ridden through the horrific storm to find me. I watched as he started a fire within the huge fireplace in the center of his home, only a few feet away from me before he went about removing the sheets from all of his furniture and moving them to their correct places within the huge cavern-like house. He then disappeared for a bit longer into the other rooms and I imagined he was replacing beds and armoires to their old positions. It took him nearly a half an hour to return everything to its designated place, causing me to feel as if I had gone back in time, back to when the only fear I had was of Christophe. I was beginning to wonder if he had been the lesser of the two evils within my life.

Erik walked back over to me, kneeling down beside the couch and taking my hand within his. His flesh was frozen solid and I quickly slid my hand out from underneath his. "Erik, I refuse to speak to you again until you tend to yourself…you are soaked and if you remain so for too much longer, you will be sick." He touched his ice cold lips to my forehead before leaving for his room. He returning shortly dressed in a fresh suit and new mantle. My eyes continued to follow him as he went over and placed his wet clothes in front of the fire to dry.

As he walked towards me I felt my stomach grow hot and I smiled knowing that no matter how much I tried to deny it, the simple sight of him made me want to feel his mouth on mine, or his skin against my skin. Thankfully he didn't seem to catch on to my thoughts and he kneeled beside the couch, pressing his hand against my cheek. I smiled back at him finally, unable to resist his charms any longer.

"Erik, I'm sorry..." I wasn't exactly sure what I was apologizing for, but regardless, it felt right to say it. He looked into my eyes a moment before he raised himself up to take my mouth in a kiss. I was surprised by this sudden action, but it didn't take long for me to give in, closing my eyes as he took my mind to places it could only dream of. His tongue was gentle in my mouth and I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck, holding his mouth against mine, forcing him to continue to kiss me. Apparently, no force was needed because he made no move to break away. A few moments later both of us allowed the other a moment to catch their breath and it was then that he pulled the blankets off of me and laid down beside me on the large couch.

Our bodies fit together like spoons in a drawer and I felt his hand come around my waist and rest on my stomach. He held his hand there for a while, thinking about the baby, or so I imagined. "Astonishing." It seemed to be the only word that could escape his mouth. I smiled, knowing that he was marveling at the thought of a new, young life existing within me, but regardless, I asked him what he meant. "It's just …a miracle! What our love for each other can create…a new living breathing human being!"

"You do realize that this…miracle, has happened three times now…so you'd think a brilliant man such as yourself would be used to the knowledge of where babies come from…" I laughed, "I feel like I am explaining the birds and the bees to a small child once again…"

I felt him run his fingers up and down my still flat stomach using a feather-light touch, I shivered as my stomach grew hot and clenched into stone. He smiled against my temple, "A small child couldn't do this to you…love you as I do…"

"No, definitely not as you do…You are more passionate than any child, though sometimes your mentality is the same as one…"

He laughed out loud, knowing I was purposely teasing him. "Feeling witty today, are we?"

I laughed back, unable to do anything else. I loved hearing the joy in his voice, since I knew what a precious thing it was to someone who hadn't known happiness in most of their lives. Someone like Erik.

"So…what are we going to do, Erik?" I finally asked as a soberness took hold of me.

"I could suggest a few things, but I don't think you'd be fond of any of my ideas."

This time he employed his dark humor to entertain me and I had to admit that I found his teasing exhilarating. "Alright! I get it…no more talking about it…for a while…"

"Good!" He said smugly into my ear as he splayed his hands out over my stomach. "So…what of a name?"
"I think you should choose Erik!" I said, finding an immense and unexpected joy in the idea of him naming one of our children on his own.

"Me? No, I couldn't…I'm not good at such things…" he denied, squirming beside me, instinctively recoiling from my persuasive voice.

"I cant believe that…you can write entire operas with lyrics that boggle the mind…and yet you cannot come up with a few good names for a child? No, I highly doubt that…come now…what should we name it?"

"You're not going to give up on this, are you?"

"Not a chance!" I said, smiling over my shoulder at him.

"Alright…give me some time and I will come up with the perfect name for our little miracle."

"This means the world to me, Erik. Thank you!" I sighed, feeling his arms tighten around me possessively. I snuggled into his comforting form once more, feeling less stressed now that I was back where I belonged, with my Erik.

"The children are probably worried about us," he said softly into my back as he placed a delicate kiss on my exposed shoulder.

"I will not go back there, Erik…" I said firmly, attempting to keep the terror from my voice.

"We cannot leave the children there…in the house with only Raoul."
"Yes, I believe we both agree on that." I said thoughtfully, hating to have to think about anything at the moment.

"Hush. Remember, we weren't going to talk about these issues for a little while."

"We cant put them off forever Erik! Our children are at home with only Raoul!" I said, feeling panicky at the thought.

"Easy now! Remember, they are very bright children…and there are five of them, three of them old enough to take care of themselves. I have faith in them. Michael wouldn't allow anything to happen to the girls."

I smiled to myself. "He sure has taken a liking to our Angelique…"

"You've noticed too? Oh good, I thought for a moment I was turning into one of those overprotective fathers…"

I laughed aloud at him, turning within his arms to place a kiss at the corner of his mouth. "You are overprotective, my love!"

"Hmmm…and now, thanks be to you, I remember exactly why that is…" He said, leaning in to take my mouth once more, this time in a feverish, deep kiss. He broke away gently. "So what of him and Angelique? Do you think she returns his feelings?"

I smiled as I thought it over. "I think that she truly does have feelings for him, but is afraid to voice her thoughts to us, thinking he is either too much like family or too low in social status."

I looked at him to attempt to read his expression. He was thinking over something and it made his brow crease, so I leaned over and kissed his forehead. He closed his eyes and said, "Perhaps, I can remedy the situation…"

"What ever are you thinking?" I asked.

"You shall see. If I can accomplish my goal, it will be the perfect surprise for both you and Angelique. Just wait and see my love, and you need not worry; you have enough to worry about as it is."

I smiled and raised my hands to his chest. I splayed my fingers wide and looked deeply into his eyes, placing my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes. "I love you Erik and I am so sorry for worrying you tonight," I murmured against his skin.

"Gabrielle. I worry about you every moment of everyday. It would not make a difference either way."

"You know it does, you liar!" I teased.

He smiled against my temple. "Perhaps, but do not feel sorry for what you have done to me. The focus tonight is on you and shall remain so."

"Erik. I hate to bring it up, but you know we must make a decision about what to do."

"I know." He said it softly, as if it were a curse he was ashamed of saying. "You wont show signs of the pregnancy for quite some time yet. We do have time my love."

"But what if he gets angry and harms me, without knowing I am with child?"

"He will NOT harm you." The words were a growl, released deep from within his throat.

"Erik, you know it's possible. There is no way for you to control him alone. I know if it were up to you, you would be my personal bodyguard constantly…"

"There is no doubt about that, my love." He responded testily.
"But Erik, it is more important to me that you protect our children first. I would rather die than have them harmed by Raoul, or anyone else for that matter."

His eyes darted up to meet mine, blind fear taking over. "Gabrielle, no! Never say that, especially to me!"

"But it is true Erik and you need to know it." I reiterated. I knew that he was horrified by the idea of having to choose between me and our children, but I wanted to make sure he knew that I would not forgive him if he traded my life for our child's.

He jumped off of the couch and started pacing before the fire, his movements like those of a caged tiger. "Gabrielle, please. If I were forced to choose-"

"You would choose our children." I said firmly.

He looked up at me once more, uncertainty in his eyes. "Gabrielle. I am not sure if I could."

"You would have to Erik. I would despise you if you didn't." I said softly, hoping to lessen the blow of those words.

"Gabby, PLEASE! Do you know what you are asking of me. You are asking me to give up on life. If you are not in my life, I wont survive. You are the air I breathe! Without you, I would not WANT to live. I thought I would never be loved and alas, here you are! You, who has shown me nothing but complete and total devotion. I cant, and I wont condemn you to death over our children!"

"Erik. You have to understand, I am many things: a wife, a lover and a woman, but never forget that I am first and foremost a mother, and I care more about you and the children than I do myself. I lost you once Erik, and I know what it is like," tears gathered in my eyes and I allowed them to roll down my cheeks slowly. Upon seeing them, Erik rushed over and knelt next to the couch, catching the tears on his fingers. "I thought I would die of the pain of losing you. You were the only comfort in my life. I had only known pain and mistreatment before you, and then you saved me, at risk to your own life. I could not have asked for more. Then I watch you killed and the only thing that stopped me from committing suicide was knowing that I was pregnant with your daughter." Erik lifted the blanket off of me and placed a tender kiss upon my still flat stomach. I closed my eyes and continued, "If you had died and I wasn't pregnant, I would have undoubtedly followed you into death, but when I knew there was a child…your child, a part of you had lived on, and it was my duty as a mother and a wife to continue your lineage through the child. The same goes for me should I die. I expect you to continue on with the children, comforted with the thought that a part of me and a part of you both went into each one of them. You would need to be strong for them."

"I'm not sure I could without you Gabrielle…and I do not wish to talk like this. You are not going to be harmed, nor are you going to die. I will not allow it!"

"Not everything can be stopped simply because you will it not to be so."

"Gabrielle…why are you talking like this?"

"Because Erik, you need to know what I want should something happen to me. Everything within our lives is so uncertain right now. I cannot imagine being separated from you, but should I be, you need to be prepared. Talking about it like this makes it less of a blow."

"I would still die if you did."

"I know Erik. I love you more than life itself."

"As I do you." He placed another kiss on my stomach, before placing his palm over it. "And this little one in here, I love as well." He said softly.

"Erik," I laughed, "Where on earth did you learn to be such a wonderful father?"

"What?" He laughed back, looking up at me.

"You heard me. You are such a natural father."

"You know Gabby, before I met you, I never thought I would have children, and if the thought even crossed my mind, I was too frightened that they would bare my resemblance. But you were not frightened, and so I was not. All of my children…our children, are so beautiful. They inherited that from you and because of that I cannot help but adore them with as much passion as I adore you."

"Erik, I do not think you understand what it means for us to have children. Our children inherit traits from the both of us. I cannot take responsibility for all of our children's outward beauty. You are magnificent as well Erik, you mustn't forget that."

"You, my beloved wife, are far too kind. You constantly forget my face…"

"No, that is exactly what I am saying. Out of three children thus far, none have inherited your…"

"Deformity…" He filled in for me when I hesitated, lifting his hand to my cheek and running his fingers along my jaw line.

"Yes." I murmured, looking away from his strikingly green and gold eyes. He titled my head with two fingers on my chin. I saw the plain message that he was not upset within his gaze and so I continued, "The likelihood of them missing that gene from you three times is highly unlikely. Just take a look at Jaime, he already looks strikingly like you!"

"He looks nothing like me, but thank you my love."

"Please, don't take this the wrong way Erik, for I do not wish to argue with you, but…he does! He looks exactly like you would have…had…" I paused trying to find the best way to say it.

"Had I not been deformed…"

"Erik, I-"

"Hush. It's alright, Love. I don't feel like we need to skirt the issue. I have never minded when you said anything about my face forthright and it would be pointless for me to care now. I may still have my insecurities, those that may never go away, but I believe I am growing used to the idea you are not leaving me." He looked around him. "Well, at least not over my face…"

I smiled sadly. "I really am sorry. I wasn't planning on running away…I would have just stayed here…"

"You didn't even bring the proper clothing, my dear." He laughed, hugging me close to him, "You are cold to the touch."

"No more than you are! What were you thinking riding through a storm like this. You could have caught pneumonia, and I wont even mention what would have happened had your horse been spooked by the lightning and jolted you!"

"I believe I was thinking that I had lost you! Nothing mattered right then. I could have fallen and broken both legs and I still would have found a way to get to you!"

He stood up slowly and pulled the blanket off of me slowly. The action itself was not meant to have a hidden meaning, but as soon as he began to do so, both of our gazes darkened. "We should be going." He said hoarsely.

"Erik, I already said-"

"No Gabrielle. You must come home. It is not safe to leave you here alone. If someone were to come upon you…another man-" He shook his head. "No! You must come home…you will be fine for now, and we will figure something out in the meantime. Besides, Angelique will be extremely upset if I return without you."

I nodded being unable to do anything else. He pulled me against him, his hand tugging on my wrist, and as soon as my body made contact with his, he leaned down and kissed me. After a moment of savoring the contact, he broke away reluctantly and took my hand, walking towards the stable.

"Erik?" I said softly, feeling a wave of fear crash over me.

He looked back over his shoulder and when he caught the look in my eyes, he stopped and turned to face me. "What is it?"

"I am scared, Erik! SO very scared." my voice cracked and I felt tears threaten to fall once more.

"No, it's alright Gabby! I will watch over you and our child…Raoul-"

"Erik, no. I haven't been entirely truthful with you…and I do not know why."

His comforting smile faltered. "What is it?"

"I am frightened of giving birth again."

"Oh, honey…I know there is little I can say or do to lessen the pain when the time comes, but you have done this many times already…"

"But this time it's different Erik!…" I found myself unable to look at him, waiting so patiently for me to tell him what was bothering me. I hated not telling him everything and so it only took a few moments for me to think it over until I gave in. "The doctor…believes that this child may not be in top health. He hears something odd with the heartbeat. He says it's extremely fast and uneven. I didn't say anything earlier, because I thought I would rather keep it to myself…saying it felt like it was confirming it…but I need you to comfort me in this too. If something is wrong with our child, and I am then harmed…I…I…I am just so frightened of leaving my safe cocoon. Here I feel safe. This is where we first met…"

"Listen to me Gabrielle." He placed his hand on my neck and massaged gently, his eyes looking over my face. "I will protect both you and this child with my life. Nothing will happen to you or her…him…" He smiled at me. "Either way, I will protect you. That is my job. I live to make you and our children happy. That mean all of them! Including this one! You're never alone in anything, my love."

I couldn't help but smile at the way he comforted me so easily. "I suppose that is what I get for marrying a Phantom." I laughed as I wiped away the remaining tears and followed him out of his home.