Alan wasn't expecting the phone call he received. Larry called him that afternoon to tell him that Charlie was forced to take a leave from work. Larry seemed concerned about Charlie since he told him he was going to the beach.

Alan also feared for his son. Something like this might push Charlie over the edge. Charlie was dealing with enough right now in his life. This was just one more additional stress.

Knowing the most likely place on the beach Charlie would go to, Alan drove the distance to the beach. He hadn't been here in years. The last time he had been had been shortly after Margaret's death. He had been going through a stage where he searched for reminders of his wife. He went places they had gone together. It had been a rough time for him because he was missing his wife so much. He hadn't realized at the time how much he was neglecting his sons. After about a month of searching, he realized he was needed elsewhere and he took care of his sons. He pushed past his own grief for them.

Alan walked along a small trail that led to the opening of the beach. As he expected, no one was there, except Charlie. If it had been any other time, the sight of Charlie lying half covered in waves would have been comical. Alan slipped off his shoes and rolled up his pant legs since Charlie was already halfway covered in water.

Quickly Alan made his way to his son. Charlie lay with his eyes closed. He almost sensed his father was there, but he didn't care.

"Charlie? Are you all right?"

He didn't answer his father as a wave lapped around his hips.

"Son, what are you doing?"

"Waiting for the tide to take me out."

"Oh, Charlie." Alan sat beside his son on the sand, allowing his feet to get hit with the cold water.

"How can you stand that?" Alan asked, his feet already cold.

"You get used to it after a while."

Alan didn't like the idea of Charlie being covered in the cold water for so long.

"I heard what happened at school today."

"I figured. You wouldn't be here otherwise."

"That's true."

Charlie closed his eyes again and tried to concentrate on the sound of the waves. His father had broken him out of his peaceful state and he wanted to go back there.

"Charlie, everything is going to be okay."

Charlie opened his eyes and looked at his father.

"You don't get it, do you? Everything is not okay. Gradually things are getting worse. It was bad enough I got hurt. Then I found out I'll never see out of my left eye again. Later, Don found out. I could hardly take him not talking to me, but now he's who knows where and he may not be coming back. And today I was told I had to leave work until I got my emotions straightened out. Work was the only thing that kept my mind off all the problems in my life and now it's causing more. That's why I'm here right now. That's why I'm waiting for the tide to take me out. Maybe then the problems will go away and hopefully you won't inherit them from me."

Alan reached out and brushed Charlie's hair back with his hand.

"We all make mistakes, son, and we all go through times like these. I promise you, it gets better."

"Really, Dad? From the way things are going right now, I should be expecting you to abandon me next."

Charlie turned his head away from his father and concentrated on finding his peaceful place again. The horrors of real life were returning to him and he hated it. He wanted to be free of it all.

Alan thought that Don would be a good comfort for Charlie right now. If only he was here. Alan hated that Charlie would even say something about him abandoning him. He could never do that to his son and especially now at such a critical time in his son's life.

"Charlie, I would never intentionally leave you. You need someone right now."

Alan moved closer to Charlie and propped his son up against his shoulder and arm.

"But I want that someone to be Don," Charlie whispered brokenly.

"I know you do. He'll come back to you. I promise."

Charlie turned his head and pressed his face into his father's neck.

"It won't be soon enough."

Alan wrapped both arms around his son.

"I know, kiddo. I know."

Charlie pulled away from his father and laid flat against the sand.

It would be easier to just lay there and go to a more peaceful and pleasant place. It would be better than going home and allowing himself to think on all of his troubles.

The pain would consume him if he went home. But if he stayed here, who would be there to greet Don when he finally decides to come home?

"Charlie!"

He barely had enough time to react to his father's call. A large wave covered his entire body and he swallowed the horrible tasting salt water and it burned at his eyes. When the wave went back down, Alan quickly pulled Charlie farther away from the water's edge before the next wave came.

"Are you okay?" Alan asked as Charlie choked out a mouthful of sea water.

"Yeah," Charlie replied hoarsely.

Alan rubbed Charlie's back as his son kneeled on all fours and spat out water. Water dripped off his clothes and curls and onto the sand beneath him.

"Come on, kiddo. Let's go home."

Charlie sat back on his heels and looked at his father.

"Okay."

Alan smiled and stood, then helped Charlie up. Thankfully, Alan had thought to bring towels. Charlie sat wrapped in them until they got home and by then he was fairly dry.

Upon entering, Charlie absently hit the play button on the answering machine. On the second message, he froze.

"Um, hi, guys. It's me. Don. I just... I wanted to let you know I'm okay now and I still plan on coming home at the end of the week. I knew you'd worry, Dad. Well, I'll go now. Bye."

Both stood frozen in place for a long time. The sound of Don's voice brought on many emotions for the two.

"Damn it!" Charlie, angry that he missed an opportunity to talk to his brother, picked up a paper weight off the table and hurled it across the room. However, when he realized where it was aimed, he covered his mouth with his hands in horror.

The last family picture that had been taken before Margaret died crashed to the floor. Charlie rushed to the picture on the floor and gingerly picked it up out of the shards of glass.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm so sorry." Charlie felt tears come to his eyes at the thought of what he could have done. He stared down at the picture in his hands and began to cry.

"Here, Charlie. It's okay. We'll just get a new frame for it."

"Ow," Charlie cried when he sliced his finger on a piece of glass.

"Be careful," Alan admonished, knowing he had told his sons a thousand times to be careful when picking up glass.

Charlie grabbed the finger as his father took the picture and what was left of the frame from him.

Alan scraped off the remaining glass and put it in the trash. The frame also was broken, so he freed the picture from it. He was relieved to see it wasn't damaged.

He wasn't expecting Charlie to snatch the picture out of his hand as soon as it was out of the frame. Charlie took it and held it protectively against his heart. Alan could see that his son had only bothered to stick a napkin around his finger to control the bleeding.

"Here. Let me see your finger."

Charlie whimpered and stubbornly turned away from his father. He left his father in the hall and went to the living room. He sat on the couch and gently pulled the picture off his chest. Lovingly he stroked the image of his family with his thumb. When he got to the image of him and his brother, he choked on a sob. There they stood, arms wrapped around each other's shoulders with smiles on their faces. He wished it could be like that again.

Charlie's lip began to quiver and he bit his lower lip to still it. Tears began to fall freely down his face, dripping off his chin. Alan came up behind Charlie and wrapped his arms around his son. Charlie silently cried, remaining motionless as he stared down enviously at the brothers in the picture. They weren't very close, but the love was there. The support was there. They'd always be there for each other. Charlie missed those brothers. He wanted them to be that way now.

Just like the scattered shards of glass from the picture, Charlie felt his strength break.

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Wednesday afternoon it rained. Don wondered if his tears made up the raindrops.

He'd been fighting so hard to stay mad at his family. When he was mad, it took the blame off him. When he was mad, he didn't feel so alone.

Don was unable to escape the nagging feeling of loneliness. He had attempted to make it disappear. He spent endless hours in the woods, watching TV, or sleeping. Nothing took it away. The hollowness wasn't getting filled by any task, any thoughts to take his mind off it. He needed more. He needed to fill the gap so he could be whole. Staying away wouldn't accomplish that.

Don knew he wasn't ready to go home, though. He hadn't made up his mind on what to think. One minute he felt like the victim and Charlie was being the bad guy. But then he'd begin to see his brother's side and he'd begin to understand why Charlie did it. So many thoughts filled his head. All were indecisive on how to feel toward his brother.

Don walked to the screen door of the cabin and looked out at the rain. It was coming down hard. He could tell that it would continue for several hours and would make it impossible for him to walk the trails in the woods tomorrow.

Feeling as if the rain was depicting his current mood, Don opened the screen door and walked out. The rain instantly soaked him. Don watched the fabric of his shirt slowly begin to cling tightly to his skin.

Don sat on a small bench outside the cabin, close to the creek's edge. He watched as the water quickly ran through the small stream and he noticed the difference in its depth.

Don didn't feel the cold of the rain on him. Though quickly drenched, the coldness didn't register. Yes, there was a certain chill around him, but it was not caused by the icy rain. There was more to it than that. Loneliness was not a warm friend to cling to. Uncertainty was not welcomed inside. Fear didn't belong here.

Raising his face to the sky, rain poured onto Don's face as he closed his eyes. He lifted his arms and caught the rain in his hands. Don willed the rain to wash away the anger, fear, uncertainty, loneliness and hoped that some how it would give him a fresh start, a fresh look at his situation. Something had to be done to fix this.

Little did Don know, it was raining in Los Angeles, too. Charlie was out in the garage when it began. His father was out buying groceries and Charlie hoped he'd thought to bring a jacket.

Much like his brother, Charlie watched the rain from the safety of the garage. However, something drove him to go out there. He could remember as a child he had loved to go out in the rain. His mother had even encouraged it when he wouldn't get muddy. He would let his imagination run wild with it. He would run around and just enjoy being wet, especially on warm summer days. In later years, he'd sit out there and try to predict when a rain drop would land on his hand.

Today he felt the same comfort from the rain calling him. Charlie stepped out into the yard and squinted against the raindrops that clung to his lashes, or maybe they were tears. It was hard to tell the difference sometimes.

Charlie moved to the koi pond and, as always, his brother came first to mind. He missed his brother terribly. Though it had only been five days since he'd seen Don, it felt much longer. He didn't know where Don was, so he could only think of him as being too far away. Then again, if he wasn't at home, he was too far away.

It was there as he stood in the rain that he came up with an idea. He went inside the house and called a taxi. He was gone before Alan returned.

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Alan wasn't too concerned when he didn't see his son in the house. He figured since it was raining he was still inside the garage.

When he finished putting away the groceries, he decided to go out to check on Charlie. He ran from the house to the garage to keep from getting too wet and was surprised to find his son not in the garage.

He returned to the house and noticed that the light on the answering machine was lit, indicating that there was a new message. Alan pressed the play button and had to sit down upon hearing it.

"Hey, Dad, it's me. Don't worry, but I probably won't be home for a while. I'm going to go find Don, Dad. I have to. I-I can't go on like this. I promise I'll try to bring him home. Wish me luck. Don't worry too much."

Worry. When it came to his boys, that was all he felt.

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Charlie didn't even know he could be that persuasive. He went to talk to Director Merrick and convinced him to tell him where Don was. With that information, he hired a driver to take him to his brother.

The rain continued, causing a slight delay. He went over in his mind what he could say to his brother. There had to be a perfect way to tell Don how he felt. There had to be a way to fix it.

No mathematical equation could help him with this one. He was on his own, relying on how well he knew his brother and the emotions that he felt.

Fear seemed to radiate from him when they pulled into the road that led to Don's cabin. He was annoyed when his driver was too afraid of ruining his car to drive up the steep gravel driveway. So Charlie had to get out and walk up the hill in the rain, justifying his decision to not tip the man real well.

It was already dark now. Charlie had taken time to pack a small backpack with essentials in case Don didn't let him stay or wouldn't hear him out. Charlie prayed his brother would listen to him.

Charlie struggled to get up the slick gravel road. He ended up going along the road into the woods, using trees to help pull himself upward. When Charlie finally reached the top of the hill, he was soaked, even with his jacket on. He squinted in the dark and from the short distance he could see his brother inside the cabin watching TV. The sight brought tears to his eyes.

Don was up watching TV. The rain hadn't stopped for several hours and the thunder filled the air so that he had to raise the volume on the TV.

When the first knock sounded, he thought it was just the wind beating something against the cabin. When he heard it again, he went for his gun.

Cautiously he approached the door. Leaning forward, he opened the door with one hand and held his gun out with the other.

He stood there, the door open, holding his gun on his little brother. He was too surprised to react.

"Charlie? Are you okay?" he asked when he finally got his bearings and put his gun away.

Charlie stumbled forward and caught himself on the front of his brother's shirt.

"Please, Don. You-you have to come back home. I-I can't keep doing this. I-I c-can't l-l-ose you too."

Charlie fell down and was only held up by his brother's strong arms.

Don kept his brother upright as he brought him to the couch. He hated getting it all wet, but he couldn't leave him on the floor, where he would surely end up if Don let go of him.

Charlie sat with his teeth chattering as Don went to get him a blanket. Don returned angrily with a blanket for his brother. Charlie wrapped into it tightly, absorbing the warmth greedily.

"Th-thank you." Charlie closed his eyes against the comforting warmth. He shouldn't be that cold already. The sight of his brother had struck a nerve and he wasn't as composed as he had planned to be. He wanted to come to his brother and make demands, show his strength. But when Don opened the door and had a gun on him, he lost all strength and succumbed to the fear and cold.

"What the hell are you doing here, Charlie? You could have gotten yourself killed coming here! What were you thinking? Oh, yeah, I forgot, you don't think! You're the only genius I know who doesn't use his head for damn common sense! Is it that hard to know not to come in the middle of the night in the pouring rain to get here? I left for a reason! I called and told you I'd be back! There is no reason for you to be here!"

Anger poured out of him like sweat. It wasn't anger over Charlie's betrayal. No. It was Don's brotherly concern for his brother than often came out as anger rather than worry. He would never show his worry like that, especially not right now. That would mean he still cared.

"I-I-I had to see you. I have to make this right. Please, hear me out."

"Haven't we been over this before?"

"No. Not the same way, at least. Last time you got mad and kicked me out. I understand, though, Don. You have a right to be mad at me, furious even. I don't blame you for that. But, please, you have to understand that I'm killing myself enough for the both of us for what I did. I don't need you to hate me, too. I-I hate myself enough already. I can't handle so much hate. Please, understand that. I would do anything to fix this. I can't have you gone. I can't not know where you are because that scares me to death. My stomach hurts, I can't sleep, I can't eat. Nothing helps ease my pain. It's just not working. I've tried, Don.

"You're the only one who can make me better. I know that now because nothing else has worked. I can't forgive myself knowing you haven't forgiven me. Dad is trying, but I know he's hurting, too. No reassurances make me any better. I was told today that I had to leave work until I got this mess cleared up. It's making that much of a difference, Don!

"You would probably think I'd be in the garage right now working on P vs. NP, wouldn't you?"

Don couldn't deny that that's where he assumed his brother was. He felt guilty for the thought, though it was most like Charlie.

"Well, guess what? I haven't been able to do math! That's why I was told I had to leave. I was messing up on math, Don, math. Do you know how often that happens? Basically never. The fact that I couldn't do math correctly was an anomaly. Can I show you enough how much this has affected me? I don't think so.

"Don, I lost Mom. I messed it up big time. I should have done something for her near her death. I know that. I can't let this end the same way. I can't allow myself the chance to lock myself in the garage and let this go unsettled. We have to talk. We can't just let this go. I'm hurting, Don, and I know you must be too. I can't tell you how sorry I feel for causing you any pain. It was never, ever my intention. I just wanted to protect you. Please, don't make me lose you now, too."

Charlie covered his face with his hands. Don stood watching his brother with a hard look. He knew his brother wasn't lying to him. Charlie didn't do that. He could see the signs anyway. The gaunt form and the haggard face showed Charlie's struggle. Don knew he didn't look any better for it, either, but he was surprised to see that it had taken a worse toll on Charlie than it had on him.

"Charlie, I-"

Charlie closed his eyes tightly. "Don't say that."

"What?"

"Don't call me that."

"Why?"

"Because that means you're still mad. I can't stand that, Don. I... I can't take it."

Charlie doubled over and held his stomach, feeling his insides churn at the thought that his brother was still mad at him.

Don had never realized that he normally called Charlie by his name when he was mad. He was still mad now, but he was beginning to soften toward his brother.

"I-I am still mad at you, Charlie." He almost stopped when he heard his brother whimper. "But it's because you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. It's because you didn't think I could handle it. You've put this on yourself, not me. I didn't tell you to feel guilty about it. I didn't want that. I know you get after me all the time about not trusting you enough to tell you when I'm hurt because I know it upsets you. I don't want you hurting and upset, so you should know that's not what I meant to happen now."

"What do you think I wanted?" Charlie screamed. "Do you honestly think this is any different? Just because you're not the one feeling it doesn't mean anything has changed. You don't like to tell me you're hurt because it upsets you. I know what you were going through when I got hurt. You were blaming yourself and when I knew I couldn't see I couldn't let you do that to yourself again. You had finally stopped blaming yourself over it. Damn it, Don, I'm doing the same thing! You protected me from the truth and that's the exact same thing I'm trying to do! I didn't know it was going to blow up in my face. I didn't know it would make things worse. If I did, do you honestly think I would have hesitated to tell you?"

Charlie was standing now, panting out each breath, feeling like a bull.

Don stared at his brother in surprise. He should have seen that, but he hadn't. He should have known that there was more to it than just Charlie trying to protect him. It was the same thing. Charlie was allowing himself more hurt just to protect him. He had suffered for Don. Why couldn't Don have seen it before? He felt like a jerk.

"Buddy, I-"

"What did you say?"

Don smiled. "I said 'Buddy.'"

Charlie smiled, too. "You don't know how long I've wanted to hear you say that."

I guess this is a bit short, isn't it? Oh I feel horrible! I take forever to update and then it's not a very good one at that. You all must hate me. :-( I promise you I'm not being lazy! I've been working extremely hard on my school work and when I get the chance, I dedicate a lot of hours to writing. I have to! This week has just been a mess and it's not going to get much better because soon final's week will be coming. Then things will go smoothly after that.

Please understand my predicament. I apologize a million times for not updating sooner and for not giving you a better chapter!