She knelt by the grave, the teddy Louise had left there in her hands. Her mind was going over was there any possiblity her children were Phils? And if there really wasn't could Phil bring himself to bring up another mans child? A rapists child.
She knew if abortion hadn't been so much like murder, and adoption so cruel there was no way she would have kept the girls. But it was with such an imense relief that she reliesed she was glad she had. Who needed Phil anyway? Or stuart. They'd get through together, just her and Louise, Sam and Louise.
Who did he think he was anyway? Comeing back after five years and, ordering her about, controlling her. he only wanted "whats best for you" of course. he was so arrogant. Her eyes, wet with tears, glistened with hatred at the tought of him, but deep down she knew she loved him. That was why her hatred was so strong, it was there to cover up the love.
Kissing the teddy she placed it gently back down in its bed of flowers. Her soft blonde hair covering the tear stained face. Slowly steadying her breath Sam prepared to stand and leave. Maybe she should do a Phil. Take Louise and go, with no word to anyone, anyone who mattered anyway. Apply for a transfer, anywhere it wouldn't matter. A fresh start.
How could he have been so heartless. Sam knew she could never do that, to stuart anyway, but to Phil it would be easy, he had done it to her. She punched the grave hard with a cry of rage that instantly turned to a gasp of pain.
"Damn," she murmed staring at the bleeding hand.
With the unhurt hand she stroked the grave, what was she playing at?
She thought back to how she had walked out on Phil a few hours earlier. All she had wanted was to stay in his warm embrace. But it was too painful. Too hard. Why was everything about Phil hard?
From behind her a hand took her uncut one and pulled her up. Enveloping the cut one in his Phil kissed it softly. With both hands he carefully wiped away some blood so as to see the cut. Despite the fact that the hand was sore and slightly swelling she didn't pull away. Her eyes were fixed on his face, searching it. His familiar face that she had missed, That in the space of a day she had hated, loved, loathed, loved and finally despised.
"You should get that checked out," he said,
Now pulling her hand away she shook her head,
"I hate you Phil," She choked.
"I know." He tucked her hair behind her ear. Placing both hands on her face,
"No you don't," she stared deep into his eyes.
As response he leant in and kissed her. She gave inw ithout much fight and soon found herself winding her arms around his kneck and kissing back.
There was no point struggeling this was what she wanted. What she had wanted alla long.