FFX Deaths My Way
CHAPTER 3
Okay well i'm glad that you liked the last two chapters, because you all liked them so much im gonna update every time I get the chance! Okay I'm warning you about this chappy, because someone we all hate will turn up! But there is good news! Someone we all adore (well at least I do) will um, uhm er…. Lets just say they'll climb up Spira's crack to greet us……. VERY RANDOM CHAPTER ALERT! Hope you all enjoy!
Auron was freaked out. No, that would be an understatement. He wanted to eat a whole jar of expired olives, then throw then up, then put the gooey olives into his cute little liquor bottle, shake it all up, open the cap and spill it all over himself.
But no he was being silly, he decided he would take his mind off Kimarhri's homosexuality by imagining Mika in Rikku's skimpy little bikini top and panties.
But that was still too much, Auron stopped in his tracks and threw up over Bahamut's daughter, who, with her father had just happened to be taking a walk through the dark Macalania woods, holding hands, they had been walking past Auron.
Bahamut: you fucknut! Look what you did to Doris (A.P.O.V, eurgh!) you made her smell like that Kinoc sandwich I had the other day!
Just then, they were silenced by Yuna somehow running after Auron, to his horror, still revealing her brain.
Yuna: Auron, you home wreaker! Look what you did to my lovely brows! Jesus! I'll never regrow them back! I don't need the top of my brain! That part is used for that useless thing called sanity! Anyways…. I want my eyebrows back!
Then came along Kimarhri, arms in the air like a gay man, skipping with joy when he sighted Auron.
Kimarhri: oooo it's Amy!
Auron: A-Amy?
Kimarhri: yeppers! That's my new for you! Aww I thought it was cute! Just like you……
Auron shuddered in horror
Auron: look, Kimarhri-
Kimarhri: o just calls me Kimmy!
Auron: urgh…..
Bahamut: hey! You, ringworm! I'm still waiting to lick your sick off my daughter!
Auron: heh heh heh heh heh heh he…….
Yuna: Auron, I want my eyebrows
Kimarhri: gimme a kiss Amy!
Auron couldn't take it any more, he screamed out loud like a little girlie and ran like hell away from them all, to the temple.
Auron: omg I've finally reached the temp-
Auron was cut short by the machine operated guillotine trap, waiting for him at the temple doors. Only a well trained machine expert could have made such a contraption.
Rikku got down from the roof, infuriated that she got the wrong person and started to stamp her feet, but then said ouchie because she hurt her already seriously hurt leg, which she had dislocated when she fell off the cliff.
Rikku: Vilg! E kud dra fnuhk vilgehk bancuh! E fyhdat du kad Yunie pid huuuuu, Auron ryt du lusa yht cdelg rec ikmo rayt rana!
(translation:
Fuck! I got the wrong fucking person! I wanted to get Yunie but nooooo, Auron had to come and stick his ugly head here!)
Rikku sat down in the snow, arms folded and pouted.
Rikku: awww! I'm sad!
Strange random voice: perhaps I can help you?
Rikku turned around and gasped in disbelief when she saw him
Rikku: you, Seymour?
Seymour: yes, it is I , Seymour Asses. I have come to comfort and help lady Rikku in-
Rikku jumped on him and tugged on his collar.
Rikku: shut up! And let's do it!
So there, out in the clearing, Rikku and Seymour made love for all the priests to see.
Rikku: yes Seymour YESSSSSSSSSS!
She moaned
Seymour: yes Rikku YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
10 minutes later…..
Seymour+Rikku: awwwwwwwwww….
Meanwhile, Yuna, Kimarhri, Doris and Bahamut sat around a fire singing camp fire songs.
We will return to Macalania later…..
Well that's the end of chapppy 3! Hope ya like it, took me an hour to make. O, and to any lemon lovers out there, no I don't do them. I don't like SeymourxRikku, I just paired them for the sake of insanity……. Please review!