Ok, here's chapter 2 in my House fanfic. I couldn't get the "add ruler" button to work, so I had to improvise by using a repeating line of "M's" to show that it was skipping ahead, sorry if its a bit distracting. And also, sorry in advance to all the people out there who dont' think Chase and Cam should be together. I have a friend who would probably mame me if I didn't have it that way. In fact, I gave that friend a cameo role in this chapter. But yeah, I'll shut up now and let you read this. Hope you like it.

Chapter 2

One-Hundred Percent Juice

"He was lying on the couch at home when the symptoms started." Chelsea began. "He'd been staying home for the past week because he had mono, and all of a sudden he just rolled over and puked on the carpet."

"Did he eat anything unusual lately?" Foreman asked. "Maybe his food wasn't what he was familiar with, or perhaps it was spoiled…"

"No," Chelsea responded helplessly. "Nothing like that. He insists on eating high-protein food because he's on the wrestling team at school and needs to put on muscle, so that's what I give him."

"What about migraines?" Foreman pressed on. "Has he complained of headaches lately?"

"No," the boy chipped in. "My head's the only part of me that hasn't felt like shit lately."

Turning to the boy, Foreman began directing his questions at him now. "Any medications you've been taking? Some over the counter drugs can unexpectedly induce vomiting."

Rubbing his throat gingerly, Jason cautiously shook his head, trying not to exacerbate the pain in his neck.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

"Differential diagnosis, people," House blared obnoxiously to the team. "seventeen year old male displays symptoms of nausea and vomiting while home sick with mono. Who shares my feeling that Mom's chicken soup was really, REALLY, not what he needed?"

"You think he has food poisoning?" Cameron asked tentatively.

"Why not? It would get him out of our hair really quick." House shot back.

"Any spoiled food would have left his system by now and his mother said he didn't eat anything out of the ordinary." Foreman cut in. "His diet won't permit it."

Half-way to the refreshment table, House stopped and shot a look at Foreman. "What diet?"

Cameron opened up a file folder and turned several pages before interjecting. "His personal file says he's on the wrestling team at school."

A malicious smile crossed House's face. "Fifty bucks says poor little Jason's coach has been sticking needles in his butt."

"Steroid use is pretty uncommon in a teen…" Foreman began to caution.

"Why not? Don't you remember the old ad? 100 juice for 100 kids?" House jibed.

Chase grinned light-heartedly at this remark, while Cameron looked unconvinced but didn't object. "I'll go get a urine sample."

"Right," House said. "Page me when he comes back positive." With that, the cantankerous doctor hobbled out of the office and moved towards the elevator. After a long while the door opened and House was vaguely satisfied to see that the elevator was empty.

Pressing the button marked "lobby," House and the elevator descended. Not surprisingly, their journey was interrupted as nurses, patients and doctors boarded on the third floor.

"Good afternoon, Dr. House," Cuddy said as she stepped in with the crowd. Her voice was warm, yet beneath it the diagnostician could sense an edge of sarcasm. "Have you taken the case Dr. Wilson offered you yet?"

"Yes," House began. "And how would you know?" He added somewhat incredulously.

She smiled coolly at him. "What makes you think I am not aware of everything that goes on in this hospital?"

"You still don't know who put the rancid cafeteria food in your desk drawer." House said sharply.

"Actually, that was Dr. Chase acting on your orders, I believe." She responded confidently.

House scowled at this and chose to respond by walking out the elevator door, which had just now opened into the lobby. He moved swiftly for a man with a cane, and in her high heels, Cuddy was only able to catch up to him when he stopped to sign in at the clinic. More serious now, she again approached House.

"What's your diagnosis for the patient, House?"

"Steroid use." House said as he filled in his check-in time. "Give him rest and the kid'll be back to shoving needles in his ass in no time." As he finished the sheet he turned to Cuddy. "As much as I'd like to continue this bit of meaningless chit-chat, I've got a clinic full of patients dying of the cold to save."

"More sarcasm." Cuddy sighed.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

House groaned as he entered the door. Another kid. Two kids in fact. One was a young girl, probably about five years old. The other, who was clearly her older sister, looked to be about sixteen. Glancing for a moment at the file, House noted that the girl had had chicken pox, mumps, and all of her shots as well. "Good afternoon…Britney." He said, trying to recall what the file had said her name was.

"Excuse me," the older one interrupted. "Her name's Brianna, FYI."

House rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He stepped towards the younger one. "So what seems to be the problem…Brianna." He glanced at the older one as if to resentfully check that he'd gotten the name right. Her only reaction was to role her eyes.

"Chicken pox." Brianna said quietly. "On my back."

Brianna's older sister looked down at her. "No, Brianna, you already had chicken pox," she said gently.

This girl was good with children, House reflected. He almost regretted his cynicism considering how kind she clearly could be. "Well, I guess she must have gotten it again," the diagnostician said in an upbeat tone. "A nice little recurrence."

"What?" the sister said incredulously. "You don't get a 'recurrence' of chicken pox!" Her face was comical, as though she were making every effort to display how ridiculous she thought his comment was.

"Yes you can." House stated simply.

"My Mom's a nurse, okay?" she said matter-of-factly. "Chicken pox doesn't come twice!"

"Five bucks says it can."

"You're gambling with a teenager?" she sounded more and more amazed each minute.

"You think that's wrong?" House asked sarcastically. "Look, either put up or shut up."

"Excuse me?" She was almost shouting now. "You know what? Whatever. You're on!"

House limped over to the cabinet and pulled out a book of common ailments. Flipping through it, he finally held it out to her. "It's rare, but…Shingles."

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

"Never gamble with a doctor." House said in a satisfied voice as he strolled out of the clinic, his newly-won five dollar bill in hand. Now where the hell was Cameron? Limping along, House rushed towards the elevator, and just barely made it before the door slid shut. Having rationalized that she was probably waiting in his office, House pressed the button marked "four" on the elevator wall. Several people boarded on the second floor, but nobody he knew. As the door opened on the fourth floor, the diagnostician limped as quickly as possibly towards the glass confines of his office. Strangely, the shades were drawn.

Puzzled by this change in décor, House paused briefly and checked the name on the door to see that he wasn't lost. He wasn't. The door read "Gregory House, M.D." just like it always had.

Reassured, House confidently stepped through the door, only to find that they lights were out. As he glanced over to the corner where the light switch was, he noticed two figures embracing in the corner: Cameron and Chase.

"Ohhh…" House groaned. "Do you have to do that here? Now? In my office?" If the two took any notice of him, they didn't show it, and all the old doctor could do was make a throaty call of "Perverts!" as he stalked off to the lounge; a call that left everyone in sight staring in a perplexed fashion at the closed shades of House's office.