The Romancer Onyxbane

Episode Eight:

Week Four of our Journey, and two months since I last saw my sister:

The records I've been keeping so far have absorbed the events of my personal life I guess. I think that if this journal was a shield I was crafting, I'd go back and hammer out all the dents, or maybe even start over. But, to change these pages in any way would mean to alter the historical record I've been keeping, and that's just stupid, so I apologize in advance, or maybe not so quite in advance to the reader for having left so many romantic adventures and misadventures in my journal. I never expected to enjoy writing this extra stuff down so much… maybe when this is all said and done, I can read what I've written and laugh with the woman I eventually settle down with. And I mean settle down, because my love life has been far too dramatic recently, and I don't care to waste any more time wasting time, and my sister's overlong absence is clearly the result of my goofing around.

Now, let's get down to business. I've got to make up for all the pages I wasted writing about my girlfriends. My previous entry was busy with how hot Willypearl is, so I forgot to include a bunch of important details, and this journal was consumed with Wisthera before that. Maybe you were smart, and just skipped ahead to where I was talking about how Willy and I convinced Feathershine to let us go on to Silithus without the group. If so, then good. You got the gist of what happened, and you didn't miss anything. If not then… well I am a guy afterall, and I have pretty bad thoughts sometimes, so sorry again. Like I explained earlier, I'm not going to take any of that stuff out, so there's nothing I can do about it.

Anyways, after a long flight from Darkshore to Cenarion Hold, over canyons and deserts, and lush wilderness, we landed in Silithus. My opinion of this place is not great so far, but not quite as bad as the Burning Steppes, and Blackrock Mountain. I don't mind bugs. Normally you can just step on them. But, the deeper we travel into the vast nothing, and the closer we get to the Twilight cultist camps, the bugs keep getting larger and meaner… I hope I don't develop a phobia when this is all done. When I do settle down, I still want to be a man who can kill nasties that skitter into the house if my wife is the type that begs me to.

Oh, and before I go on about Silithus, there is something else too. While we were flying down here, I asked Willypearl about the business with the Archmage's ring. All along, I assumed it wasn't her fault, and I know that this matter is settled already in Stormwind, but the trial focused so much on how they messed up Willypearl's life at the convention all those years ago, I realize that she never really was found innocent of the crime, so I'll record our conversation as evidence here.

According to Willy, the Archmage made it clear to the all the young mages at this "Convention of the Cloth Classes of the Alliance" that there were corrupted novices among the priests. I assume that the priest trainers told their novices the same lie about the mages. Pressure was put on all the young mages and priests during those four days in Stormwind to challenge strangers as well as their friends to reveal any dark intentions. Obviously, the result was that people like my sister became targets. Antisocial people with dark personalities and strange features became prime suspects to those untrained eyes. Then, the Archmage took that witch hunt a bit further. He confided in all the young mages of the Alliance that he had a ring (or more likely several) that could protect anyone who was found to be a demon worshiper, but that those kinds of objects were kept safe from these dangerous individuals for good reasons, and to be assured that nothing in the world could save the evildoers once they were revealed. Of course it was a trap. Who tells a bunch of silly kids that he has a 'secret special ring' in the desk of his office in the bottom left drawer, but that they can't have it? Willypearl knows from experience that those who chose to help targeted individuals were made targets themselves.

Willypearl worked through a friend, a novice rogue from Westfall, to have the ring stolen. Then, this rogue friend of hers suggested they get a good Night Elf rogue to trick Opalbane into wearing it. Apparently, that girl already had someone in mind. Since they were so young, and so new to being spineless cheats and cutthroats, the novice rogues used real names, and the willing volunteer, Wisthera, made the mistake of meeting my big sister face to face many times, which wasn't very clever. It would have been much worse for Wisthera if I'd had enough sense to ask for a physical description of the rogue when I went on my vengeful rampage two months ago. But then, that was me being a meathead, yet again.

Essentially, the Archmage devised a clever plan to root out suspected warlocks and cultists. The, he doubled the fruit of his labors by simultaneously identifying those who would help them. Anyone who stole or wore the Archmage's rings were thrown out of the mage or priest orders. In my opinion, Willypearl passed that silly test. She saw someone who was being unfairly targeted by everyone at the convention, felt it was wrong, and then did something about it. I don't think she would have ever dared steal from the Archmage under normal circumstances, but because she felt the Archmage was wrong, she took a risk and did what she thought was right. For some reason, Willypearl was not arrested for stealing and thrown out of the mage order right away. The Archmage said something about 'her significant talent, and more pressing matters' at the trial. Clearly, by the time the Archmage got back around to it, Willypearl was arranging to meet the strange shadowpriestess Opalbane near to Stormwind, and the result of their finally meeting after all those friendly letters was inevitable. It's tragic that Willypearl was arrested after finally earning my sister's trust. Opal normally doesn't like anyone except for maybe me and the priestesses. All Willy wanted to do was come clean about using a rogue to fool Opal into wearing the ring. Willy exchanged a lot of letters with Opal over the years before proving her good intentions. Then, they were supposed to meet and Willy was going to tell my sister everything so that they could be real friends with no secrets. That, as you know, ended up with my friend Willy in jail and my sister Opalbane running scared all over Azeroth.

Ok, now back to the business in Cenarion Hold. I took Willy and that priestess up into the watchtower to speak to the man in charge. He's a rogue, imagine my luck, but thankfully, he had not heard of Wisthera. Yes, I asked. I'm always going to ask now; I can't be associated with anyone who thinks well of her. He sent us to the druid in charge (yes, there is a druid and a rogue in charge of this outfit) and that man was not much more helpful, except that I am pretty certain that my sister has a drinking problem. Dear goddess! On top of being orphaned by demons, changing our names, my sister losing her sanity, and being manipulated into this cult, she has to be an alcoholic too! I know this because the head druid explained that Opalbane was thrown out of Cenarion Hold when she got into a loud argument with the innkeeper and threatened her with violence.

For the record, this is what she said, and don't dare take it out of context if it ever comes up:

The druid said that Opalbane threatened to burn the innkeeper alive by setting her brain on fire, and then said she would take over the shadows of that fractured mind, and make her walk screaming into the dark abysmal maw of one of the Qiraji hives.

Isn't that delightful? In that recounting, I was both sure he had pegged my sister exactly, and with Willypearl's observations over the years, confirmed that she has an addiction to whatever beverages innkeepers all over Azeroth sell. The drinks either helped her along on her journey or helped her delay the inevitable downward spiral that had become her fate. I am really worried about her. I know that the effects of drink don't really excuse my sister's behavior, but it does explain a lot of her anguish. Willypearl revealed to me that Opalbane smelled of rum when the Stormwind guards first tried to arrest her two months ago. Now, it seems, that detail has become significant. I'll never understand why women think it's polite to keep things from me that might 'hurt my feelings.' I practically missed a whole two months' worth of coming up with alcoholic shadowpriest jokes.

Oh, no wait, I've got one:

"An alcoholic shadow priestess, a paladin, and Thrall walk into a bar. After a few moments of contemplation, the paladin, the Warchief, the bartender and all the other patrons walk right back out."

Heh. Ok, here's another:

"My friend and I saw these two lovely wenches at the bar. I lost the roll, ended up as the wingman and got stuck with a crazy alcoholic shadow priestess. I thought she liked me at first but when I got into range, she put me in a vampiric embrace. I waited three whole minutes for the debuff to go off, only to get mind flayed when I tried to get that drink away from her. Then, when I tried to separate her from her friend, she mind controlled me and ended up with even more drinks. At last, I challenged her to a duel to get her out of the tavern, which worked great… until she got sober and rejected me outright."

Is it funny? Huh? Hahaha! Well, hopefully only a few people will read this, so maybe I'll get lucky and never find out if it isn't.

Alright, enough of that. It's getting late. The whole point of this entry is I'm so glad that I am with Willypearl now and not Wisthera. Willypearl is truly a treasure. Plus, she's soo hot. Did I mention that already? Also there's something pretty alluring about a woman who could set you on fire or freeze you dead with a half a thought. Any guys out there ever think of that? Well, I have…a lot.

… Oh, and I know what you're thinking. No, we haven't done anything yet, but this is hardly the time, is it?