Chapter 8

It threw her and she knew he could tell that it threw her.

"Sit down, Leese."

So she had hit home after all - Jackson's voice sounded slightly strained as if he too was struggling with emotion. It gave Lisa enough courage to sit down on the table where she stood, their legs still touching. He leaned forward as far as he could while burning into her eyes with his own, but she stayed where she was.

"This is interesting, Leese. For all that I'm-over-you-drama you've been giving me, you seem to remember our little conversations very well."

"Just because I'm over it doesn't mean I can't remember."

Pause.

"What does the shirt say?"

"What?"

Jackson rolled his eyes. "The shirt your friends gave you. I'm willing to bet a month's supply of shitty breakfast that it has some funny slash inspirational quote on it."

"It says 'TC for ever and ever'."

"TC?"

Lisa wished she had some of his ability to disappear behind a mask of indifference, because she couldn't quite hide the embarrassment when she answered. "Tough Cookie. It's … my nickname."

"Your friends don't know you very well, do they?" Noticing the look she gave him, he added, "Or they actually know you very well. They know what happened?"

"Yes."

"They helped you?"

"Yes."

Jackson smiled at her. "So how does it feel?"

"What?" Lisa wasn't sure where he was going with this and his smile made her uncomfortable. Restrained or not, Jackson was still a formidable opponent and when it came right down to it, he had resumed back control over the conversation flawlessly.

"After all this time it took you to let other people in, which I'm absolutely positive it did ... how does it feel to have to be alone again? To have to go through it without their help? I'm sure Keefe doesn't want anybody else to know our little secret."

Lisa froze. How was it possible that after all these months and no matter how much she thought she had changed, Jackson was still able to sense her insecurities? She got up and walked back around the table, sitting down on her chair again.

Jackson's expression was almost rapt. "Answer me, Leese."

Suddenly she realized that he needed her. Whatever it was that he wanted or why he wanted it, he seemed to need her answers just as much as she needed his.

She sighed and no sooner had the words sprung into her mind that their truth instantly comforted her. "I'm not alone." With satisfaction Lisa noted that he was, once more, surprised. "My friends may not know the details, but they know I'm here on … Fresh Air business. When I go back, they'll be there for me."

Looking down on the desk, he seemed to ponder her answer.

"But enough about me, Jackson, how have you been?"

Silence.

"I have been bored out of my mind, Leese. In case you haven't noticed these monkeys here are not the most entertaining kind and their manners are a little … rough."

"I'm amazed you'd turn to me for comfort."

"Do you really want to know?"

Lisa just looked at him calmly and he returned her look with what appeared to be sincere interest. Jackson leaned back on his chair and for the first time let her glimpse a little more of the real thing as he tried to get comfortable, eyeing his restraints with frustration.

"You got me into this." His words were curt and they both knew he made himself vulnerable to her, yet the way he said them was defiant, provocative, as if the truth could hurt her more than it ever could hurt him. "I was used to being busy, focused on the future, always concentrating on the next job. Ten years and I could have retired a wealthy man. Imagine my disdain when there suddenly was no next job and no future."

They still held eye contact.

"Where else could I turn in that hospital bed but the past? No fun either, let me tell you, because that's where you were. You and your stupid little sobs and pleas." He sounded angry. Was that finally the true Jackson?

He continued, his eyes glued to hers with that blue praying mantis stare that promised calm and peace, but only served to hide the danger underneath. "I am a professional, I take pride in absolute meticulousness, a clear strategy. And for the life of me, I couldn't figure out where it had gone wrong." He gave her a sly smile. "It bothered me."

"So now you think that if I tell you where it went wrong, you … what?"

Under his steady gaze Lisa felt ill at ease. It was unspoken, but he had an air of knowledge about him, almost as if he was just waiting to deal her a blow. "You see, Leese, we have a similar problem. I don't think you came here to do that grand nation of ours a favor."

Lisa tensed up when she realized he actually wanted her to answer.

"Did you?" His voice was inquisitive, impatient.

If only she could swallow her pride and look away, but then again she knew that he would never give her an out, no matter what she did. "No."

"You came here to put something behind you. I wanted you to come here, so I could put something behind me. I had you in that airplane bathroom, I know I did … where did it turn, Leese?"

Lisa willed herself not to cry. With as much venom as she could muster she snarled, "Thanks for the quickie."

"Excuse me?"

"'Thanks for the quickie.' It's what you said to me before we went back out." Her voice was incredulous, refusing to believe that he couldn't remember that essential line which, basically, had turned her life around.

"Damn! I knew I threw you a final insult, but I had forgotten which one. Wrong choice, obviously." Jackson seemed amused, but then his eyes bore into the spot on her body where the scar was hidden underneath her clothes. He whispered, "Especially in connection with what I already suspected back then."

He looked up into her face. "What … no fluttering hand on the scar? You really have been getting better, haven't you?"

"Are you satisfied now?" Lisa's voice was stern, she needed him to know that his time with her was drawing to an end.

"For now, yes."

Lisa knew this was the blow he had wanted to deal her all along, but she couldn't help asking the question. "For now?"

"Oh, Leese, we're far from being done." It sounded like a lover's promise.