I have found that a common comment on last week's post was that I had Zelgadis list a bunch of new movies as old ones. Not true. I had him listing new movies in hopes of getting a movie out of the evening. I sure hope that didn't count as a review reply. I do not own Slayers, Major League Baseball, Shiran, Independence Day and many other aspects of this story since I don't technically own any copyrights.

Juu-san

Dance of the Patriotic Wieners! What Is There To Celebrate?

A cherry-red Mustang idled at a traffic light on the main street of Nowhere, Oregon. All around the street and in the shops there were festive decorations covering just about everything in sight. Red, white and blue was blanketing the town, ready for the day's nation-wide celebration. It not only covered the shops and sheriff's office and the city hall and places like that, but the citizens as well, everyone in sight getting in touch with their patriotic side.

Now I know they did not put all this up for my coming home, Lina thought as the traffic light turned green and she put her foot on the gas pedal. She itched her wig after turning a corner, hoping that the only people she would encounter today already knew of her double life so that she could take it off. Chuckling to herself about the notion of becoming Nowhere's instant celebrity, Lina pulled into the dirt-and-pebble driveway of an old and traditional-seeming farmhouse, parking her car right behind a green Lumina. The house was three stories tall and was painted stark white with a blue trim on the window lattice. There was no fence around the property, yet it was positioned far enough away from the neighbor so that a property line did not matter and the backyard melded perfectly with the woods that were situated behind it. A long porch wrapped around the house like a balcony, giving off a homey look that showed the true age of the house to be reaching that of a century.

Man, I hope that Amelia is willing to talk to me, Lina thought as she got out of the car and meandered into the backyard. She's been avoiding me like the Plague recently. I wonder what's up with that. I hope she still isn't mad at me about snapping at her two weeks ago. To Lina's surprise, the only soul to greet her when she reached the backyard was a large white dog with bright green eyes that bounded up to her cheerfully.

"Hey there Shiran!" Lina said happily as the dog put two massive paws on her shoulders and began licking her face. "All right, all right... down girl... where's Amelia at? Can you tell me where she is?"

Shiran took her paws down and playfully bounced over towards the back door of the house. Lina laughed lightly as she followed the dog. She could still see a hint of soft purple in the animal's fur from when she accidently got into some lavender paint the previous November. Her whole coat had been soaked in the paint and both Lina and Amelia feared it might have dyed some of her hair permanently.

"Amelia...?" Lina called out as she walked into the back door and into the kitchen. Not to her surprise, Amelia walked into the room, brandishing an apron and an unusually large watermelon.

"Hello there Miss Lina," Amelia said with what sounded like a sullen attitude. She placed the melon on the kitchen counter and pet Shiran on the head before reaching for a knife to slice up the juicy fruit with.

"What's the matter Amelia?" Lina asked, taking off her wig and setting it on the coat rack as if it were a hat. "What did I do?"

"Nothing," Amelia replied. "My new job has just worn me a bit." She cut into the melon rind with a bland thrust and halved, then quartered it so that she could easily carve out the juicy red insides.

"Your new job?" Lina asked. "I didn't know you had a new job. Why'd you leave the hardware store?"

"I wanted to have a job closer to Portland, so I got a job in Portland," Amelia said, forcing a wan smile across her face. "I am working as the new secretary for Mr. Graywords's business."

"What...!" Lina exclaimed, nearly falling over from shock. "What in the hell are you doing working for that jerk?"

"It's a job, isn't it?" Amelia replied. "Besides, I get paid well and can stay nearer to you and Mr. Kurt. I'm willing to put up with Mr. Graywords if it means that I can be closer to my two best friends."

"Do you have your own apartment or something? I know you can't still live out here," Lina said, sitting down on one of the empty counter-tops.

"I'm staying with Mr. Kurt until Friday. Then I can move into my own apartment."

"Amelia, have you been avoiding me or something...?"

"Why do you ask that?"

"It is just... you haven't been telling me stuff like you used to," Lina said morosely. "Ever since that game where I flipped out and yelled at you, there has just been distance between us."

"Don't worry Miss Lina," Amelia assured. "I only wanted to give you some space to cool off. Mr. Kurt agreed with me about it."

"Yeah, I've noticed that he hasn't been his normal self lately," Lina smirked, feeling much better about herself. "I was beginning to think that the two of you might have broken up or something."

"We did, but that wouldn't be the reason he would seem distant."

"Alright! Now you have crossed the line!" Lina bellowed as she slammed her clenched fist into the counter. "What is all this about? I thought you two were a perfect little couple! What gives? I had it figured out and everything goes defunct! Do you people hate me or something?"

"No, we just thought our relationship was better off if we stayed friends," Amelia answered, walking over to the sink to wash off the melon-carving knife. "It was a mutual decision. We were beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable the way we were."

"Well, now that makes three of us," Lina muttered.

"What? Are you saying that it made you uncomfortable to see Mr. Kurt and me as a couple?"

"Yes. You two were positively vile together."

"You are absolutely no fun Lina Inverse," Amelia laughed as she tore open a bag of potato chips and poured the contents of the bag into a large bowl. "Now please be useful and bring the watermelon and chips out to the picnic table."

"Sure thing Amelia," Lina smiled, knowing she had her old friend back again. When she came back into the house from putting the food out on the porch table, a strange arm snagged her by the neck and the perpetrator began giving Lina a brotherly hair-messing while keeping her in a headlock.

"Welcome back!" Kurt chuckled as Lina squirmed free. "I heard that you and Miss Amelia made up and are friends again!"

"Yeah, now will you stop doing that?"

"Whatever," Kurt chuckled as he grabbed the paper plates and plasticware from the wooden kitchen table and headed for the door. "Hey Miss Amelia, where did your dad go? He was here fifteen minutes ago."

"Oh, Daddy's going over to Mr. Farquain's house to spend the day with him and his wife. Sander is coming over later with Martin and his two friends Dalton and Tammy."

"Tammy... isn't that the name of the only girl that ever hangs out around those two high school weirdos?" Lina asked with a laugh as she took the lighter fluid and matches for the grill outside. It was tradition for her to grill the hotdogs and relished in the important duty until it became nearly sickening for Amelia.

"Yeah, she is, the poor thing," Amelia sighed as she followed Lina out with the hot dog buns. "Oh... Kurt, can you please get us the hotdogs? They are sitting on the table on a plate and I forgot them."

"Sure thing," Kurt said happily as he went back inside the house. After a short while, he appeared out the back door again, a large plate of uncooked hotdogs in his hands. As he walked down the back porch steps, Shiran bounded up playfully and began pawing up at Kurt in order to procure the hotdogs for herself. Kurt attempted to side-step the jovial dog, yet he instantly began to lose his balance. Once Shiran put her large paws up on his chest did both man and dog tumble into the grass and send the hotdogs flying with ease, creating an ungodly mess.

"Hey there!" Sander said as he walked into the backyard for the party, closely followed by Martin, Dalton and a dyed-blonde-haired teenage girl who held a bowl of bright blue gelatin. The scene they came upon was one of pure chaos. Uncooked hotdogs were strewn everywhere, particularly over Lina and Amelia. Shiran had Kurt pinned to the ground and was excessively licking his face, attempting to remove the slimy preservatives from the hotdogs that had splashed upon his face.

"Oh my," said the girl who stood between Martin and Dalton, taken aback by the scene. Her two friends on their side of her stood there with their mouths agape, not having seen anything like the current scene before.

"Hi, you must be Tammy," Amelia smiled, noticing her taken aback company. She went over to the girl and shook her hand. "My name is Amelia. Welcome."

"Did we come at a bad time Amelia...?" Sander asked, noticing how Lina was cursing violently as she picked the ruined hotdogs out of the lawn.

"No," Kurt said, shoving Shiran off of him and standing up straight. "Lina just has a bit of issues she needs to work out with the menu first." He paused for a moment when Lina accidentally threw a hotdog at the back of his head in her rage. Tammy, Dalton and Martin snickered as Kurt's face went to an annoyed blank as the hotdog struck him. Then, the girl's face went to an awed expression as she looked at Kurt.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you from somewhere?" she asked. Kurt's eyebrow twitched as he came up with what the girl could have possibly meant.

"Um... I don't recall meeting you before, if that's what you mean..."

"No, like I've seen you, but haven't met you..."

"Then you must be thinking of someone else!" Kurt panicked. He went and tried to hide behind Amelia, yet failed miserably due to their vast differences in height.

"Ooookay..." Tammy sighed, contemplating why she even agreed to accompany Dalton and Martin to the party. "I'll go put the dessert away." She walked off into the house, followed closely by Martin and Dalton, leaving the eldest of the group to deal with Lina.

"Calm down Lina," Sander sighed halfheartedly as Lina threw one of the ruined hotdogs towards the woods for Shiran to go and catch. The dog happily barked as it disappeared into the trees looking for the lost hotdog.

"Who ever said that I needed to calm down?" Lina asked, a very disturbing smile creeping across her face. Sander took a healthy step backwards and positioned himself behind the height of Kurt.

"Hey, I may be the tallest here, but I am not a human shield," Kurt protested as Sander hid behind him. Kurt jumped out of the way and Sander hopped back behind him.

"What? Are you afraid of me Sander?" Lina laughed.

"Yes. Quite frankly, I know how physically violent you can be."

"Well, so does our manager," Kurt said in an as-matter-of-fact voice. "Poor old Wanker just gets abused everywhere he goes, doesn't he Lina?"

"Damn straight!" Lina agreed, giving her teammate the thumbs-up. "…and I'm usually the one doing the abusing!"

"Really Miss Lina, I don't get why you take pride in being violent all the time," Amelia scolded. "What is so great about being able to beat up that creep anyways?"

"It is what helps me stay on the friendlier side of the rest of my team," Lina explained. "If they ostracize me even more, then suspicions will come about and I might be investigated and well... there would go my salary. I'd be fired and even worse, probably the butt of every sports bar joke for years."

"So a priest, a rabbi and Lina Inverse walk into a bar..." Kurt started, trying to make fun of Lina's comment. All he got in return was a sharp kick in the shin from the fuming redhead.

"You idiot..." Amelia and Sander muttered at the same time as Kurt hopped up and down on his uninjured leg. Lina chortled in sadistic delight as she watched her victim suffer, then went over to the picnic table on the porch and ate some watermelon with relish. This was Independence Day at one of best of times for Lina and sure was... enjoying it to the fullest. Suddenly, as Amelia, Kurt and Sander walked up to the table and sat down the telephone inside began to ring. Fairly quickly, the ringing stopped and there was dead silence.

"Oi, Lina," Martin said, poking his head out the back door. "Tammy's got your boss on the phone. He says it's something really important..."

"Damn Wanker. How'd he get this number...?" Lina growled as she marched in the house. Ten seconds after she had vanished from sight, those outside heard a very loud and excited squeal come from the kitchen and the three high school friends rushed out of the kitchen, clearly afraid of something.

"What's wrong?" Sander asked. He stood up and opened the back screen door. As he stepped forward, Lina came out of nowhere and tackled him so that he laid flat out on the wooden porch deck.

"I made it! I made it! I made it! I made it! I made it!" Lina cheered as she kept Sander pinned to the floor.

"Lina, I thought we went through this already once before!" Sander whined.

"This is even bigger than me getting into the ball club!" Lina replied, eyes bright with excitement.

"What could possibly be better than getting into the ball club Lina?" Amelia asked, wondering what it was her friend was excited about. Lina looked over at Amelia and Kurt's questioning faces and grinned widely as she gave her simple reply.

"All Star Game."

Things To Know

The Seiryuun Residence: I wanted to model it after a country-style home from around the turn of the twentieth century when there were no cars and people sat outside on their porches and had fun out there.

Shiran: Taken from Dreamsinger's superb fanfiction Only Stone On the Outside. I so wish I owned this ickle doggie, yet I do not. She does. I wish to honor her with this reference, since I admire her story greatly. Read her fiction and discover more about the dragonwolf (and her insane story that is like a new season or two of Slayers all on its lonesome). It's only ninety chapters long!

Dialogue: I like to tell the story with dialogue rampages. Sorry if this seemed to... drag the story along kicking and screaming.

Sander: So apparently, I had him in on the whole "Lina is Liam" thing, so he doesn't freak out when they get to the party. He also briefed the high schoolers before they went over, just incase.

Kurt's Joke: Not a very good one, I know. He's the kind of guy who makes up the cruddy jokes like that everyone hears in bars or in school.