The Nehszriah is scared. I was sitting in US History on Tuesday, minding my own business, when suddenly, -BOOM- I came to realize that I might have been channeled while this story was in initial development. Kurt Fuchs: baseball player. Klaus Fuchs: convicted Soviet spy of the Red Scare era. Creepy. Well, at least I entertained my teacher. I do not own Slayers, Major League Baseball, funky European milk, breakfast cereals, Monty Python references, men simply being men and Lina simply being Lina.

Juu-kyu

Liam In A Funk? Curse You Gabriev!

Amelia walked into Lina's bedroom the day after the game. She was not the least bit surprised to find her friend still in bed, attempting to act as if she were fast asleep. Sighing deeply, she walked over to Lina's bed and gently shook her friend.

"Come on Miss Lina," she said kindly, trying to pull the covers off of her so that she could get out of bed. "It's time to get up and out of bed. It's a new day! A new start! You have to get up now!"

"I don't wanna get out of bed..." Lina whined as she jammed the covers back over her head to block out the sunlight. The bed was much too comfortable for her to abandon now, even if it was around ten o'clock.

"Miss Lina!" Amelia retorted, shaking the large lump her friend had become. "Any longer and you are going to need lunch instead of breakfast!"

"I don't care."

Amelia paused for a second. Lina not caring about food was a very serious matter and this meant that the situation needed to be handled delicately. This meant for Amelia though, having to dish out some tough love. She straightened out her back, folded her arms and prepared herself for the very worst.

"Are you planning to sleep through the rest of the series with the Gladiators like a helpless infant Miss Lina?"

"Yes."

"I thought I would never have to say this in my entire life Miss Lina, but you suck."

"Damn straight! My rookie season is in the toilet!" Lina agreed.

"You are leading American League rookies in batting, fourth on the list of best shortstops, rookie or veteran..."

"I freakin' suck. I can't beat him."

"You don't get it, do you?" Amelia sighed as she climbed up to sit on the Lina-lump and shake its shoulders. "Stop letting him get to you! I thought you said that were cured of men! What happened to the Lina Inverse that was cured of men! That Lina Inverse was so sure of herself and confident! Where did she go?"

"I can't help it!" Lina snapped, thrusting the blanket in Amelia's face and sitting straight up. "You try batting against him! I would bet fifty bucks that you wouldn't be able to do it!"

"You know I can't bat to save my life," Amelia said, giving Lina a cold glare. "You know, if I didn't know better, I would have to say that you have a crush on that man…"

"I do not have a crush on Gabriev! What in the hell do you think I am!"

"Human… female… imperfect… you are only a mere mortal Lina. You have been playing the role of a grand, invincible goddess for too long."

"Not a grand goddess, but a baseball god. I cannot and should not be defeated by anyone, not even a guy of all things."

"With you giving up like this, then he does win the battle by default," Amelia said morosely, shaking her head in a bland manner.

"One battle is not an entire war 'Melia," Lina pouted. Amelia was just about to reply when a knock on the bedroom door cut her off and making Lina jump in surprise.

"What is it now?" Amelia asked the door as it opened to reveal Kurt standing in the hallway with a half-eaten bowl of cereal in hand.

"Where in the heck do you guys keep the milk around here?" he asked. "The cereal's kind of dry…"

"Gick! Hands off me Lucky Charms!" Lina squeaked. She stumbled out of bed, falling flat on her face in her attempt to rescue the precious cereal.

"Isn't it in the refrigerator?" Amelia asked.

"The refrigerator? Not the cupboard?"

"Miss Lina doesn't get that funky milk your mother did," Amelia explained. It took all her strength to not laugh at Lina rubbing her sore nose and forehead. Kurt just shrugged nonchalantly and walked out of sight.

"Damn him… going into my food like that…" Lina grumbled as she stood up lethargically. "What in the hell is he even doing over here in the first place?"

"Mr. Kurt wanted to come. I figured it would be for 'emotional support', or something like that."

"I am here for emotional support!" Kurt yelled from the kitchen, his mouth full of cereal and milk. "I'm just hungry! It's not my fault that I have the appetite of a damned hobbit!"

"That does not give you an excuse to go and eat my food!" Lina yelled back, flames igniting in her eyes.

"Miss Lina, you eat near all the food in my kitchen whenever you come over," Amelia sighed. "You really should think about your own habits before you criticize others."

"Whatever," Lina grumbled as she shuffled out into the apartment hallway and towards the small kitchenette where Kurt was devouring what looked like the equivalent of an entire box of sugary breakfast cereal. Lina snatched the bowl away from Kurt and began to eat what he had not already half-inhaled. Kurt opened his mouth to retort, but Amelia stopped him by dragging him out of the kitchenette by the wrist.

"I think we should let Miss Lina simmer for a while," she said. "I mean, she doesn't seem like herself."

"...but I was eating!"

"We can eat back at your place," Amelia sighed. She led Kurt out of the apartment and closed the door behind her. "I swear Mr. Kurt. You have no idea, do you?"

"Idea to what?"

"The fact that Miss Lina is in a funk. Her supposedly well thought-out plans failed her and she is in denial."

"You sound as if you've seen this before," Kurt said as he pressed the down button to the elevator and got in.

"Yeah," Amelia sighed. "She had the same problem when we were in high school and there was a mock home run derby. She lost the competition terribly and couldn't really bat properly for two whole games afterwards. I think she would not have been able to bat for only one if she had not tried so hard the first game to prove to everyone that she could hit a home run."

"Jeezum crowe, Lina sure is a complicated person," Kurt said. He shook his head solemnly as the elevator came to a stop and him and Amelia exited onto the ground floor.

"You have no idea," Amelia agreed with a laugh. She and Kurt then walked out of the building and down the street to the small apartment building that Kurt lived in. Once in his apartment and Kurt had some food to munch on, the two began to have a much more serious talk.

"You know Amelia," Kurt said through a banana as he sat down at the kitchen table next to Amelia. "I don't think I have ever seen Lina this kind of worked up over a guy before. I mean, she's been pretty upset with the Wanker on an almost daily basis, but it is always a pissed-off kind of upset, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah. This is the first time even I have seen Miss Lina upset like this... which is pretty scary if you think about it. These emotions are all quite new to her you know."

"Oh. I see then. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more?" Kurt snickered. Amelia smacked his arm in protest.

"You're positively disgusting," she sneered.

"Well, that's what kind of upset it is, right!" Kurt claimed defensively. "If not, it's the only kind of upset I can come up with. Lina is only a girl, no matter how many people she is able to fool."

"I know, but you don't have to put it like that!"

"How would you rather me put it?"

"I don't know. It just seems strange to me having Miss Lina attracted to a guy," Amelia replied softly. "She has always seemed to be the one who was immune to love and romance. Her in this position is kind of... well..."

"Amelia," Kurt interrupted, holding his hand up between him and the raven-haired woman. "Please, if you are going to come out, don't come out to me. I don't do well with that sort of stuff."

"I'm not coming out you idiot!" she growled, smacking Kurt's arm again. "I am just concerned. Most women by the time they reach Miss Lina's age have had at least one boyfriend and gone on at least one date! She has no romantic past with men and is quite far from gaining the necessary experience needed to deal with them on a level above the platonic and brotherly friendships she's had in the past."

"You must have really thought this out."

"Yes, I have in fact thought it out over and over again," Amelia said with a disheartened tone. "I worry about Miss Lina a whole lot and I just don't want her to get too freaked out by everything."

"Then why did you force leaving her apartment?"

"The best way to get Lina to accept help is to offer and then leave her alone for a while. Once she opens the newspaper and discovers that the pitcher announced to start for the Gladiators is not Mr. Gourry, then she should be fine."

"Does she even get the newspaper?" Kurt asked.

"I don't know. I do know that she reads one when I leave them lying around, but I didn't do that today. There's also stat sites on the internet you know." Without warning, the telephone rang and Kurt picked it up without thinking.

"Hello?"

"KURT! I'M PLAYING TODAY AND THAT'S FINAL!" Lina screeched into the telephone so loud that Amelia could hear. "GABRIEV'S NOT PITCHING! I'M IN THE CLEAR! I'M SAFE!"

"Good for you Lina," Kurt sighed, switching the telephone receiver to his other ear in order to save his hearing.

"Meet you outside the ballpark in two hours for practice?"

"No. I've got a date this afternoon before the game. I wouldn't be able to make it until about an hour before game time."

"Whatever. Just be sure to come as early as you possibly can! I don't care how hot of a date you've got! In fact, bring her here if that's what it takes! You better come damn it!" Kurt looked at the telephone in wonder as Lina hung up on her end.

"Damn. You were right Amelia. Leaving her alone does work. It's kind of scary if you think about it."

"Yup. Now we just need her to ask us for help," Amelia smiled. "Now who in the heck do you think you are going on a date with later? I know you can't possibly mean me."

"My girlfriend."

"What girlfriend?"

"Not you."

"Well, I know that! Who is it?"

"My new girlfriend. You'd like her. Name's Frankie."

"Since when has this been going on?"

"I dunno," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. "The only downside is that she doesn't like baseball. Says the owner of the Slayers is a prick."

"Mr. Zelgadis does give off that impression at first," Amelia admitted. "He doesn't seem very nice when you first meet him, but is alright once you know him."

"Since when did this happen?" Kurt asked in a tone as close to Amelia's voice as he could get. Amelia shoved him and gave a wry look.

"Hey, it's not like I'm dating my boss."

"Yet," Kurt added. "The key word you left out is 'yet'."

"What are you implying?"

"Nothing... yet."

"You damn idiotic guy."

"Born one, raised one, always will be one," Kurt said jokingly as he got up and exited the kitchen. "I have to go get ready for when Frankie comes over. Will you be at the game later tonight?"

"No," Amelia answered. "The game's late and I have work in the morning unlike some people I know. Don't worry, I'll keep track of the one tomorrow afternoon."

"Whatever... right then. See you later."

Amelia did not answer as she walked out of Kurt's apartment and the building itself. She still felt uncertain about Lina's emotions staying the way they were, but knew she could not go back, else risk the chance of making them much worse than they needed to be.

Things To Know

Grand Goddess: Yes, the name of the golem of Naga from Slayers GREAT. I have its theme song.

Kurt's Milk Problem: For those of you who don't know, yes, there is milk for people to buy that has stuff in it to keep it from going rancid if left in a cupboard. I experienced this phenomena of sorts at the age of eight while visiting relatives in a far-away land. I also needed a reason for Kurt to come and butt in on the conversation. -grins- What comes around goes around Lina.

"Wink, wink... say no more?": Monty Python does very bad things when it runs off with me brain. At least I haven't started quoting The Meaning of Life yet... That would be bad.

Kurt's New Girl: He seemed lonely without Amelia there to be -with- him.