I took my last bite of meatball and realised most people had already got up and left, I peered around for Remus Lupin and got another look from Charlie.

'Who are you looking for?' he said.

'No one, just-' I said disappointed, 'Well, Remus said he would-' I cut my self off mid sentence.

Of course he wouldn't stay, he has better things to do than talk to a silly little pink haired girl.

'Remus Lupin?' Said Charlie Interestedly.

'Yeah…but he's left so-' I shrugged.

I don't really care, I can talk to him anytime.

I picked up my plate and carried it over to the sink, Sirius was standing washing up by hand, brushing his long black hair out of his face frustrated. I picked up the dishcloth and wiped a few wet plates absent mindedly.

'Hey Nymphadora-' he started.

'Tonks' I corrected him,

'Fine, Tonks- How are your parents?' he asked concerned not meeting my eyes.

Well he should feel guilty, he's been in hiding for the past 2 years he could have contacted.

'They're fine' I said sourly.

'Look- I'm sorry I-I didn't contact. I couldn't. I wanted to but Dumbledore-' He looked genuinely pained and I felt a pang in my chest and guilt for making him feel worse.

'No- Sirius. Its fine, Im Sorry. I didn't think what it must have been like for you' I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

'Oh Now,' he said turning round, 'Have you met my good friend Remus?' he finished.

I swung round and became face to face with Remus again, His sandy blonde hair even more messy than before and a look of guilt on his face.

This guilt thing is becoming a regular occurrence.

'Nymphadora,' He said with a slight smile.

'Tonks' I said automatically.

He ignored me, 'Im sorry I disappeared.'

I looked away, 'No matter, I thought you'd gone home! Look- don't worry about it, I know you've got places to go, people to see' I tried to make my excuses and sidle past him but he shook his head and caught my arm.

'uhuh, I'd rather be here'

I shrugged and we sat down at the table. Remus flicked his wand and some scrolls appeared, he began telling me about tailing known death eaters and showing me the plans for the guarding of the department of mysteries.

'Why do we need to guard it though?' I said leaning on my hand looking up at him.

'Dumbledore won't tell us, He just says it is of utmost importance that no body gets into the department of mysteries to the prophecies-'

I nodded taking an intake of breath, 'So You-Know-Who obviously wants to try and get a prophecy…what prophecy?' I said almost talking to myself.

'We think its linking Voldemort and Harry Potter.' Remus said shortly. I tried to study his expression but drew a blank.

'Harry Potter?' I repeated disbelieving, 'what would You-Know-Who want with a teenage boy?'

'Only he knows that,' Remus shrugged, I realised he was suddenly more reserved, sitting back in his chair and crossed arms and avoiding my eyes.

'Are you ok?' I said despite my better judgement I'm just too nosy for my own good.

'I care a lot for Harry,' He said quietly, 'I'm just worried about him that's all'

I took a sip of coffee and took a slow breath, 'naturally,' I said finally.

'He's been through a lot,' Remus continued, I could picture a little boy scared and alone with the famous scar across his head like a gash in his brain and my heart strings panged dangerously.

'Poor kid, He watched Diggory die last year, faced Voldemort. He's done more than most of us put together. Its just, wrong you know? I remember James when he was that age and the only problems he had was whether lily Evans was talking to him or not and what curse to use on Snape' he smiled faintly.

'Harry's Parents?' I asked tentatively, 'you knew them?'

'Knew them. We were best friends, Sirius James Peter and I, Now Pad foot is on the run from the Ministry, Worm tail killed Prongs and is now bunking with Voldemort and I'm here.' He shrugged but I detected a sourness in his voice and regret.

'You blame yourself don't you?' I blurted out. Not quite sure where that last outburst came from I looked away red faced, 'Sorry- I mean. You don't have to answer that, it was inappropriate, I-'

'Yes.' he said looking straight at me, sparkling tears In his eyes. 'I do. I've never admitted it, but it was my fault.'

I shook my head firmly, 'No! none of this was your fault. You can't think like that.'

Remus got up, tearing his eyes away from mine, 'Yes, Nymphadora. It is my fault, I let James and Lily to make Peter their secret keeper instead of Sirius. I am the reason everything has turned out like this!' He threw the dishcloth in his hand at the sideboard and leant on it angrily.

I instinctively jumped up and approached him, taking his hands,

'No. Now I don't know much about it but maybe that's what you need, a new perspective. You didn't know the consequences, so you cannot blame yourself. They wouldn't want you to blame yourself. And you know what? I'm not going to let you blame yourself. So that.' I shook his hands firmly, 'Is the end of it Remus Lupin. Do you hear me?'

The candles in the corner of the kitchen were flickering casting shadows over the far corner where I was standing, hands over Remus Lupin's, my face flushed and my hair crazy, His crystal blue eyes looking down on me, searching. Words caught in the back of my throat.

Oh dear.

'I-err, well. I'd better be going. Thanks f-for explaining. I've g-got work to do and, you know. T-things to do people to see! A woman's work is never done! B-Bye Remus' I gabbled stepping backwards over my own feet, almost walking into the table.

'Nymphadora.' I heard Remus say after me in that low gruff voice.

'T-tonks' I stuttered before turning on the spot and disappearing.

Dear, Oh Dear.

Dora Jane Tonks you total and utter idiot.

I appeared back in my flat and kicked my shoes off, collapsing heavily on my comfy green sofa. I didn't have a clue what had just happened but I knew it was not good. And I definatly couldn't let it happen again. How old is he anyway? 40? Your 25 for goodness sakes.

I flicked my wand and conjured a coffee mug in my hands, hugging it to me and shot some balls of flame at the fireplace, creating a burning fire to warm the flat.

This is not good.