A/N: This chapter hit a little close to home and was kind of hard to write. But I hope you all enjoy it!

My timeline for this fic (in case anyone was confused)-George and Nora married right before sophomore year started
-3 months into the marriage Casey and Sam started dating
-6 months into the marriage Casey and Sam broke up (when Casey and Derek realized feelings for one another)
-about a year into marriage (summer between sophomore and junior year) is this chapter, but the six months in between realization of feelings and the main part of this chapter are briefly described here
-flask back in chapter 8 was near the end of their junior year in high school, so they knew one another for a little less than 2 years
-currently (real time for the fic) they are in their freshman year of college (so it's been 3 years since they met)
-in some chapters coming up, I will try and make it obvious when flashbacks are happening

Enjoy and review.

Thanksgiving break is coming up soon and I will be home, so I may be able to update more often!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 10: The realization it was love

For about 6 months, Derek and Casey were completely confused. They were both experiencing feelings they never thought they had. Every time their eyes met, they saw something that made their own hearts melt. At first they tried to deny it, tried to pretend it wasn't real, tried to pretend that their hearts didn't feel anything.

Derek was still bitterly mean to her, spitting insults in her face any chance he got. But he began to feel extremely guilty the second the words left his mouth. He would have apologized immediately, but Casey always got right back in his face with an insult of her own. He saw anger on her face, but hurt in her eyes. He would have done anything to take it back, but he didn't want to admit his new found feelings for her, he didn't want to be the weird guy that liked his stepsister.

Casey couldn't help herself from being mad all the time. She didn't want to admit she felt anything for the person who she felt hated her. Whenever they had a battle of the wits and he would insult her, she died a little inside. She didn't want to feel anything for the person to make her feel like crap day in and day out. But right before she would retaliate with an insult of her own, she saw something in his eyes, almost as if he was sorry. Derek never apologized though, which made her even angrier with herself, for liking someone who would never like her back.

They both began to change and they couldn't seem to help themselves. At first, Derek didn't even realize he had changed. When walking through the halls of his high school, he thought he was his usual cocky self, pretending like he owned the place. It wasn't until Edwin told him that he hadn't been out on a date for about 3 weeks that he knew something was wrong. It seemed to hit him all at once, he wasn't as interested in girls like he used to be, he wasn't interested in anyone but Casey.

"Dude, Summer just asked you out and you told her you were busy." Sam said to Derek one day at school with a confused look on his face. "Are you sick?"

Derek thought about the last few weeks, thinking about he had spent most nights in his room, daydreaming about Casey. He did not want to feel the way he did about her. "Um, I must've been out of it. I'm going to catch up with Summer." Derek thought that dating the most popular girl in school would get his mind off of Casey.

Derek had made plans to go to dinner and a movie with Summer that evening, so he could try to get his mind off of Casey. However, all night he compared Summer to Casey. He compared their looks, manners, eating habits, the way they breathed. By the end of the night he had enough of Summer, completely bored with everything about her. When he got home, he had planned to date more than ever, to try and get Casey out of his head.

For about a month, Derek went on as many dates as he could. He called every number in his cell phone, making dates for every night of the week. By the end of each date, he couldn't help but be sick of the girl he was with. There was just something missing in each and every one of them. There wasn't a sparkle in their eyes or an insult at the tip of their tongue. Their features seemed bland and they didn't have a thought in their heads. They weren't feisty or annoying. Every night another number was deleted from his phone.

After his month of trying, Derek finally gave in and stopped dating all together. He accepted that he was attracted to Casey, but he told himself it was only a physical attraction, that he only liked the way she looked. He figured he would eventually get over it. Soon though, he found himself wanting to talk to Casey, to spend time with her, learn everything he could about her. He initially did the only thing he knew how to do to spend time with her, argue. But it began to take a toll on his heart.

Without noticing it, he wanted to become a better person. Derek wanted to make something of his life, wanted to go to college and have goals. It didn't dawn on him that he was doing all of this for Casey.

He began paying attention in school, trying to complete his assignments on time. But since he never cared before it was hard for him to jump into the academic world he neglected for so long. Coming home from school one day, he saw Casey sitting at the dining room table, working on her homework. Derek, wanting to be near Casey, decided he would sit next to her and do his homework as well.

Noticing Derek actually doing something for school Casey couldn't help but comment. "So, did you lose a bet or something?"

"No, I guess I just want to change my ways." It was then that Derek knew that he wanted to change for Casey. She brought out the best in him, even if she didn't know it. She was the thing making him want to change. I can't believe this might be more than just a crush.

Derek made it a ritual to do homework with Casey almost every night. He did not want to have anyone think that he just wanted to spend time with Casey, so he gave everyone the excuse of wanting to get into a good college and that he needed good grades for a scholarship. Derek began to be confident enough to ask Casey for help with his classes and assignments, finding that it was a great way to learn and have a normal conversation with her. He did still argue with her at any chance he got, he was too afraid that she would notice his feelings.

By the end of their sophomore year in high school, Derek was in deep. He knew he liked Casey, but he didn't realize how big his crush had become. He felt completely drawn to her. He was interested in her thoughts and opinions, finding that he shared a lot of the same ideas as Casey. They would hang out more around the house, not fighting as much, but still enough so she wouldn't think anything of it. Derek also threw himself into his school work and hockey, actually looking forward to his future. He didn't realize that he pictured that future with Casey.

Casey seemed to be in the same dilemma Derek was in. Although she was still new to the school and town, she still tried to date other people to get Derek out of her mind. She couldn't understand how he planted himself in her head. He was all she could think about, all she could see when she closed her eyes.

It dawned on Casey why she dated Sam, it was to get Derek's attention. She didn't realize it at the time, but she was never really attracted to Sam. It was something in the way that Derek acted when Sam began to talk to Casey that made Casey want his attention more. She never thought that she would actually date Sam, but when he asked her out, it seemed like the logical thing to do. Deep down, Casey couldn't admit to liking Derek, so dating someone made it seem like there were no feelings there at all. They had a good time on dates and seemed to have a lot in common, but she was bored with him.

When she started accepting dates after she broke up with Sam, she noticed that all of these other guys were missing something as well. None of them seemed up to par with the image she held in her head. She wanted someone exciting and daring. Someone who could make her think and second-guess herself. She wanted someone who would keep her on her toes.

The dates Casey had been on were terrible. She was bored during each and every one of them. They seemed more like friends than someone she could be in a relationship with. The guys that asked her out were lacking a quality she wanted. She would try to settle and enjoy her dates, but her heart always came up empty in the end. She didn't have butterflies dancing in her stomach when she looked into their eyes, the eyes that could not compare to Derek's.

Trying her best, she wanted to push all thoughts of Derek out of her mind. She would only admit to herself that she found his appearance attractive, that there was nothing more than his looks. Casey refused to believe that Derek was the one she was comparing every guy to. She did not want Derek to be the one to make her stomach bunch into knots with a single glance. She did not want to be another girl to fall for Derek Venturi. She tried to block out her feelings, tried not to think about him, but he was always there. He crept into her head when she was listening to music, he was in her dreams almost every night, and one day he was there in person.

Casey gave in. She knew she had feelings for Derek, but she swore to herself that they were merely physical, that it was only the way he looked. She thought they would one day go away. But, she felt her heart melt every time their eyes met, she felt the effect they had on her. She hoped that she could get some insight into Derek's complex personality by one look into his eyes, but she became lost whenever they found her own. And it wasn't only his eyes, it was everything about him. His smug smirk and genuine smile, his voice, his hair, it was everything.

One day Derek seemed to be a completely different person to Casey, interested in his school work and future. Casey couldn't help but smile to herself when she would think about this new side of him that she never saw before. It was like he didn't need to act cool around her, he could just be himself. This had made Casey fall even harder. He had started to ask Casey for help with his work, ask her to explain things he didn't understand. Although her heart leapt at the chance to spend time with Derek, she refused at first. She told herself that she needed to get over this silly school girl crush, and not spending time with Derek would be the only way.

After rejecting his plea for help, Casey couldn't help but see something in his eyes, like her refusal hurt him. A few days later, Casey couldn't help but be drawn to Derek. She wanted to help him, wanted to be the one to change him for the better. They began to do homework together all of the time. This changed Casey and she didn't know why. She found herself open up to Derek. She felt like she could be herself when he was around, that he brought her out of her protective shell and she was no longer afraid of what others thought about her.

Studying together led to spending time hanging out together. Casey wanted to know everything she could about Derek. She found that they shared a lot of the same interests and thoughts. They had similar ideas on life and where they wanted their futures to take them. Casey began thinking about her future more, where she wanted to go to college, where she wanted to live and raise a family. She didn't realize that she pictured that future with Derek.

When the summer started, Casey and Derek wanted to still spend time with one another. But without homework bringing to two together, they thought the other would think it was weird to spend time together. Fighting still ensued between to two, because that was the only way they thought they would be able to connect. Although there were not as many hurtful comments, the fact that they were fighting made them upset all the time.

The Venturis and MacDonalds were invited Derek's cousin's wedding, which was to be held in the beginning of July. Since Casey and Derek were old enough, they received separate invitations from the one sent to the family as a whole, telling them they were allowed a guest each. Since neither had dated for about 5 months now, and neither had planned on dating again for a while, they both sent back their invitations, saying they would be going alone.

When the day of the wedding came, the Venturi/MacDonald family piled into the minivan and headed to the hall, which was an hour away. They decided that since Marti was still young, they would not attend the ceremony and only go to the reception. Derek was sitting to the right of Marti, who was to the right of Casey, all the way in the back row.

Derek couldn't believe how amazing Casey looked. Her hair was down with the ends slightly curled. She was wearing a simple hunter green dress that fell right above her knees, held up by thin spaghetti straps. He found that the color looked great against her complexion, complementing her in every way. Throughout the entire ride, he kept pretending to play with Marti, only to sneak glances in Casey's direction.

Not noticing the stares coming from Derek, Casey couldn't help but continuously try to look at him, while pretending to read. She thought he looked great. Derek was wearing black pants and a buttoned hunter green shirt with his signature leather jacket over it. Green is definitely his color. Casey had thought Derek was attractive for quite some time now, but she never thought he could look this good. She even loved the way his hair looked messy, but every strand in exactly the right place.

When they finally arrived at the reception, George went to find their place cards so that they could find their way to their table. Coming back a few minutes later, he informed Nora and the three youngest children that they were at table 3. He handed Derek two cards, before turning to walk into the room. Derek looked at the cards in his hands.

Derek Venturi – Table 11

Casey Venturi – Table 11

Maybe one day Derek thought to himself with a smile forming on his lips. His smiled immediately faltered. What? . . . I cannot be thinking about marriage. This is crazy, I'm not in love with her, it's a silly crush. The only way Casey would take my last name is if my dad adopted her. Dismissing his earlier happiness of Casey's placement card having his last name, he quickly handed her the card and made his way into the hall.

When Casey glanced down, a small smile tugged at her mouth. She couldn't believe that it said Venturi after her name. Well, it does have a nice sound to it . . . wait, what am I saying? Am I going crazy? I can't be in love with Derek, so I can't think about marrying him. Casey placed the card into her handbag and followed Derek into the room.

The room that the reception was in looked amazing with all of the flowers and decorations. There was a huge dance floor, with a small table in front of it for the new bride and groom. Tables went along the walls, all the way around the dance floor. Casey and Derek noticed that their family was at a table near the main doors, with one of Derek's aunts and some of his younger cousins. Looking around the room, they spotted their own table, in the back corner near doors that lead to a balcony, directly across the room from their family's.

Derek and Casey sat down at their table, looking at the other people sitting with them. George was not very close with his relatives, so Derek wasn't sure if the people at the table were family or not. After a few moments, everyone started introducing themselves and their dates. They were all cousins of Derek's, a few years older than Derek and Casey. All of them had brought dates with them, so each couple was going on about how long they have been together and when they planned on getting married.

After everyone except Casey and Derek introduced themselves, one of Derek's cousins's turned to them and asked, "So when do you two plan on tying the knot?"

Derek almost choked on his water, while Casey turned beet red and looked at the table. Neither wanted to make eye contact with anyone at the table, especially each other. Derek finally said when he was able to, "We are actually step-siblings, my dad married her mom about a year ago." And I was thinking about our own wedding a few minutes ago.

His cousin, along with everyone else at the table gave them a funny look. Someone else said, "Oh, I thought you were together. You two look good together and your outfits do match." It was then that they both realized they were wearing the same color, which made them both blush.

After a little while, the festivities were underway. People were up dancing for a few songs, then the meal was served. During dinner, Casey and Derek spoke more to the other people at their table, explaining things like school and their home situation of being in a blended family. Casey did not want to mention that they bickered all the time, and she was surprised that Derek didn't bring it up either. She was happy that they were having a conversation without arguing, and she didn't want to ruin it.

After the meal, Casey's heart began to sink into her stomach. She was not expecting to have the reaction that she was having. Casey was glad that she and Derek grabbed the seats closest to the wall, because she did not want anyone to see her at this time. At first, she didn't even feel the tears slowly slipping out of her eyes and gliding down her cheeks. It was when Derek touched her hand that she had noticed she was crying.

The head of the band announced that it was time for the father/daughter dance. Everyone watched as the father of the bride made his way to the center of the dance floor with his daughter. Everyone was turned to look on as they danced. For the hundredth time that night, Derek felt his eyes pulled towards Casey. It was then that he noticed that she was crying. He had no idea why, but was sure that she didn't want him to make a scene. Derek grabbed her hand and gestured towards the doors behind them.

Casey and Derek made their way outside onto the balcony. Although it was the middle of the summer, there was still a cool breeze in the air. Casey felt the cold tears on her face, but she made no motion to wipe them away. She felt that she needed to get them out, so that they would never come back to haunt her. Casey didn't realize that she was shivering, until she felt the warmth of Derek's jacket around her shoulders. She looked up and saw him making his way towards the railing, leaning against and peering out at the night sky. Standing next to him, she mumbled a thanks for the jacket and stared up with him, the tears still falling from her face.

"You want to tell me why you're crying?" Derek asked, breaking the calm silence.

A little surprised at the concern in his voice, Casey slowly nodded and opened her mouth. But when she tried to talk, sobs came out and she began to cry harder than before. Derek didn't know what to do, but it pained him to see Casey so upset about something. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around Casey, embracing her in a tight hug. This is the first hug we ever had, they both thought. Derek also thought how strange it was that Casey seemed to fit perfectly in his arms.

After a few minutes of crying, Casey began to calm down but stayed in Derek's embrace. She felt as though her pain went away when she was in his arms, like he would never cause as much pain as she was in.

"Do you know anything about my dad?" When Casey felt Derek shake his head she continued. "Well, his name was Michael and he died about a year before my mom married George."

"Is that why you're crying? Do you miss him?" Derek never heard any of the MacDonalds mention their father before and he always thought it would be rude to ask. But now he felt like he needed to know, like he needed to know what was hurting Casey so much.

"That's not it at all. He wasn't exactly the best dad in the world. He cheated on my mom a lot. He cheated on her when she was pregnant with me, during the five years between me and Lizzie, and when my mom got pregnant with Lizzie." Casey felt herself begin to tear up, but she didn't want to cry anymore. She tried to bury her head into further into Derek's chest, if only to hold back the tears.

Feeling Casey getting upset, Derek tightened is grip around her, letting her know he was there for her. He couldn't come up with a response to what she just told him, he thought Nora wouldn't take anything like that. Then he was shocked to hear what Casey said next.

"He also abused my mom, both mentally and physically. You would never think that anything like this would have happened to her by knowing her now. She became really strong over the years. But, back then she was always weak around him, letting him treat her like she was nothing." Casey sighed, as if trying to forget everything that had happened when it came to her father.

Derek felt rage inside of him growing, it was hurting him knowing that something pained Casey so much. He wanted to stop her, make her forget anything that ever upset her, but he knew she needed to talk it out and he planned on being there for her. "When my mom got pregnant with Lizzie, my dad gave my mom an ultimatum. He said it was either she had the child and they would be getting a divorce or she would have an abortion and he would stay with her. Needless to say, they got a divorce."

Derek was trying to comprehend everything that Casey was saying. He didn't think that such a strong person would have such a bad childhood. Casey never showed signs of being unhappy or anything that would affect her in such a way. "I'm sorry Case," was all that Derek was able to get out.

"Don't be. He was never really there for us. He never supported us or acted like he cared. Well, at first he would take me out with him, like to the movies or something like that. But he eventually stopped calling, or told me that it was all my mom's fault." Casey couldn't help but begin to tear up. She wished that the tears would end, but she never allowed herself to feel anything for the man that was her father, so now everything was coming out at once. "He began to treat me like shit, and never wanted anything to do with Lizzie. He remarried and decided that his first family wasn't good enough."

Casey was completely in tears now, nothing but sobs coming out of her throat. Derek released his grip on Casey for a moment, just so he could see her face. She was red and her face had tear marks along her cheeks. Derek also noticed her face was a little scrunched up, like she was trying to hold off the tears that were coming. I can't believe she could look this amazing while crying. Derek reached his hand up and wiped his thumb below her eyes, not even realizing he was doing it. The feel of his thumb on her face made her eyes close, relishing in the feeling of his touch. Derek noticed her eyes closed, be he thought that she was just upset.

He pulled her back into a hug and whispered into her ear soothing words. "You are more than enough Case, I'm sorry you're father couldn't see how great you are." Derek was amazed at how incredible Casey was. She was remarkable, so perfect, yet she had such a bad childhood. He wondered how she could have such a strong persona when so much had happened to her.

Casey wanted to believe that Derek's words had another meaning, other than just trying to calm her down, but she just figured he felt bad for her. Casey decided to continue when her tears subdued a little, "I didn't speak to him for years, but one day he called me up and wanted to meet. I was skeptical at first, telling him that I only want to talk on the phone for a while. He seemed very sincere, telling me he was sorry for all the time lost and that he changed. A few weeks later I found out that all he wanted from me was money, because he was divorcing his second wife and needed some money to get himself situated. He never wanted to reconnect with me, he just wanted to use me."

Feeling the tears come, she pushed them back. She had to finish before she cried another tear for the man that was supposed to be her father. "I didn't talk to him after that. A few years later my mom got a letter in the mail from his insurance company. Apparently he had stomach cancer and died in the hospital. His insurance company was informing my mother that he changed his will and his current girlfriend received everything, not that I would want anything from that man. When my mom contacted his girlfriend, she yelled at my mom. His girlfriend said that my father tried to reach out for us while on his deathbed and we refused to see him, she said that he hated us. He never tried to make contact, but I honestly don't think I would have gone to see him. He caused so much pain in my life, I don't think I could have faced him."

Derek felt Casey shiver, even though she was wearing his jacket. He began to rub her arm with his hands, trying to comfort her. He wanted to be there for her, to take away her pain, he just didn't know what to say. He wanted to show her how he felt, that he would try to never cause her so much pain, but he couldn't. He knew after that night he had to be Derek, the person to piss her off. But for now, he would hold her up, let her talk it out, be her shoulder to cry on. He couldn't tell her that he liked her, that he wanted to hold her up everyday. Derek couldn't show his true feelings, because she wouldn't have believed him and it might have caused her more pain, and could not cause any more pain in her life.

"So he's gone and I never shed a single tear, until now that is. It just kind of hit me in there, during the father/daughter dance. I am never going to have that. I am never going to be walked down the aisle by my father. I don't think I would have invited him anyway, but now I know I will never have the chance. I am never going to know if he ever even loved me." With that, Casey started crying again, this time though she couldn't stop the tears.

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't you dare cry over him, he's not worth it. You're worth so much and if he didn't care than it's his problem. Besides, I'm sure my dad would walk you down the aisle and have that dance with you in a heartbeat." That's great, tell the girl that you plan on marrying that your own father will walk her down the aisle at your wedding. This time, Derek didn't think about taking that thought back. He knew he meant it. His love for her was always there, and now that he saw her at her possible worst, he couldn't love her any less. But Derek would never tell her how he felt, it would be too much for his heart to get rejected. He never thought he would fall in love, but he did, and he never wanted to know the pain of getting his heart stomped on.

As Derek was realizing the love he had for Casey, she realized the same thing. She was never able to tell that story to anyone, never able to let herself cry in front of anyone. But being there, in Derek's arms, made her feel alive. She knew that what was in her heart was love. She loved Derek for everything he was. He was an amazing older brother to Marti and Edwin, a great hockey player, he was even turning into someone who cared about his grades and where he was going in life. Casey also loved how great he was to her in her time of need for a shoulder to cry on, how great of a listener he was, how he didn't once tell her anything unnecessary that anyone else would have. But her heart broke a little when he said that his father would walk her down the aisle at her wedding, because she had realized that she wanted that wedding with him. So she swore that she would never tell him her feelings, she couldn't take any more heartbreak in her life.

When Casey was able to go back inside, they went to the their table. They heard a band member announce that it would be the last song of the evening, telling everyone to get on the dance floor. Casey wanted to dance with Derek, to be in his arms again, but she couldn't ask. Her heart leapt when she heard him ask, "Since we didn't dance all night, would you want to dance with me now?"

Casey took off Derek's jacket and followed him onto the dance floor. Derek was afraid at first as to how close he should hold Casey to his body, but he relaxed when she got as close as she could, leaning her head on his chest. It was a great night for both of them. They didn't fight, they realized their feelings and now they were dancing with the one person they wanted to dance every single dance for the rest of their lives with. Neither wanted it to end.

"Derek, why do we fight all the time?" Casey asked, hoping that he wouldn't say because he hated her.

Derek couldn't tell her that it was because he wanted to be near her, wanting to spend time with her. He shrugged, "I don't know. It's just what we do Case. I love to see you riled up, like I live to annoy you. But I would never mean to deliberately hurt you."

A little shocked that Derek didn't always mean the hurtful things that came from his mouth, Casey just nodded her head against his chest. "Yeah, I guess I just live to annoy you too. But I really liked that we were civil tonight, I would have never expected we could be this nice to each other."

"I agree, it was really nice." Derek wanted it to end at that, but he was afraid Casey would see why he said it was nice, see that he actually loved her. "But I don't think I could stop picking on you."

Casey closed her eyes, she knew that she couldn't change being mean to him as well, she couldn't be nice all the time, afraid he would see how she really felt. "Yeah, but do you think we can have more of this non-fighting? I really don't want to hurt anymore. Can we make some sort of agreement?"

Derek didn't want to hurt Casey ever again, he did not want to see the pain in her eyes that he just saw minutes before. "Like what?" he asked, hoping she would ask for them not to fight again.

"Maybe we could limit our insults, so that we could still get them out of our system. Maybe only 5 a day?" Please agree, I don't think I could be mean to you all the time now without breaking my heart.

Thinking for a second, Derek wanted to tell her that he didn't even want the 5, but he knew he still had to be like the person she met a year ago, the person who got joy out of making fun of her. "That sounds great. Only 5 insults a day, and then we can be nice the rest of the time."

The song ended and everyone was beginning to head off the dance floor and back to their seats. Casey and Derek pulled apart, each with a smile on their face. Derek looked into Casey's eyes, getting lost for a second, before he leaned down and kissed her cheek. When he pulled back, he leaned to her ear and whispered, "by the way, you look beautiful in green MacDonald." Why would I say that? I'm supposed to not show my feelings.

Casey couldn't help but blush, even though she thought he was just trying to be nice. She lightly nudged his arm and said "Yeah well, it suits you too Venturi."