Here we go… I don't own these people, But God, if I did, Mmmmm… McDreamy….

Aftermath

Chapter 15: I Can't Get Over You

Derek had watched Meredith run away from him more times than he cared to count. He felt the same way each time. Empty, useless, hopeless, foolish.

"Sucks doesn't it?" Erica asked, coming up behind him.

He was silent. She wasn't finished talking yet, and she knew that he knew that, so if he spoke now, all she'd do is yell at him for interrupting.

"When are you going to get tired of women running away you?" She questioned as she moved from behind him to head down the plank to get off.

He'd been expecting a lecture or some great philosophical explanation of what the hell just happened. He hadn't expected her to throw THAT in his face.

He had nothing left to do but get off the boat and try to catch up with Erica. But by the time he'd reached shore, she was gone. She'd run away from him too.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Erica had shut out all other outside nuisances and concentrated only on the situation at hand. She'd barely spoken to Derek, she hadn't even made eye contact with Meredith and well, Addison, she hadn't even wasted her breath on her.

But now, she had no choice but to sit down with each of them. It was that time. She'd treated everyone else except the three of them.

She sat at her desk at 2 pm, waiting on Meredith. She'd gone with the least venomous of the three.

She crossed one leg over the other and adjusted her glasses just as the door to her office opened and Meredith Grey stuck her head in.

"Come in." She said warmly, attempting a smile. The younger woman complied and quickly shut the door behind her.

"OK Meredith. Let's start with some basics. I've been observing you for the past several weeks and I can see why the chief is concerned. You were considered the one to beat before all of this. You haven't seen the inside of an OR in over a month. Can you tell me about that?" Erica asked, leaning back and holding Meredith's eyes.

Meredith was silent for a long moment before attempting to answer. "I'll never look at an OR the same way again. Every time I walk by them, my mind goes back to that day, to that moment. I never should have gotten out of bed." Meredith answered after a moment.

"What made you get out of bed?" Erica asked, writing down a few notes in her book.

Meredith smiled ruefully before responding. "Izzie and George called Cristina. She came over and stood on my bed yelling at me until I got up." She relayed.

"You felt unsettled all day?" Erica prodded, looking over the rim of her glasses at the young woman.

Meredith nodded her response. "I just couldn't shake the feeling. I knew something wasn't right. And then, it all just happened so fast. There I was talking to Hanna, then, next thing I know, I'm the girl holding the bomb and the whole hospital in her hand." She explained.

"What made you do it? What made you stick your hand inside that man?" Erica asked, hating that she had to push the envelope this far, but knowing it had to be done.

"I guess I felt like it couldn't get any worse. I guess I didn't think anyone would miss me if I died. I mean, I know that's not true, but that's how I felt." She attempted to explain, praying that she didn't sound like some pathetic suicidal patient.

"I'm glad you're aware of the truth Meredith. It's important that you understand that." Erica told her after a moment.

Meredith said nothing, she just nodded and kept her head on her hands, which were twisting in her lap.

Erica threw her book down on the table and pulled off her $500 glasses. "He loves you. He loves you more than he loves me, more than he loved Addison." Erica told the young woman, hoping to get her attention.

"You said loves." Meredith pointed out, after the realization hit her.

Erica turned a slight shade of red. "It was a slip of the tongue. Semantics. Nothing to worry about." Erica said, her voice unnaturally high and phony sounding.

Meredith squared her eyes on her previous competitor. "You're still in love with him." Meredith said, her words not a question, but a statement.

This was it, the ball was in her court, it was on Erica now.

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