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Aftermath

Chapter 16: All About You

Great, this is fantastic… This is totally how I saw this going…Erica sighed and made eye contact with the woman who'd just challenged her feelings for her ex-husband.

"Meredith." She said at last, putting her notes down, and preparing to stand up.

"Please… Please, tell me I'm wrong." Meredith said, stopping Erica in her tracks.

"I'm… Look, it's complicated…. We were each other's first. You have to understand that. And you never stop loving the first…" Erica finally admitted.

Meredith sat back in her chair. "You still love him." She said flatly.

"That's irrelevant. We're not together. We may have been married, but we weren't together. He was with Addison, and now you… You, Meredith, belong with him. I knew that the minute I saw you guys together. So, what I think, what I feel, doesn't matter. Not anymore. It hasn't mattered for 14 years." Erica told the young woman.

Meredith wasn't sure if she should speak or not. She was obviously trying to explain and for some reason, she felt compelled to at least listen.

"That relationship… It's from another time. We were different people then. Too much…. Too much has changed for either of us to really even consider the option of anything happening. It wouldn't be a good idea." Erica informed the young woman.

Meredith watched this woman in front of her struggle with her emotions. She felt an unexpected wave of emotions wash over her. "You know you'd still be together if things had been different, right?" Meredith prodded. What am I saying!

"But they aren't. It ended 14 years ago. But well, he's not the kind of man you really want to leave, ya know?" Erica replied, keeping her voice quiet, trying to keep the emotions in check.

"Yes, but the fact is, you were the big love of his life. And that won't ever change. You guys were soulmates." Meredith continued. It felt so strange to be saying it out loud, it was like she was admitting it to herself.

"Keyword there being 'were' Meredith. As in 'no longer'. You are it for him now. I'll admit, this trip, it's been a tad more emotional than I'd originally anticipated, but I'm not here to try to take him back." She told the woman softly.

Just then, with the speaking of those words, it dawned on Meredith. "No, you didn't… You don't have to. Don't you see? There's a part of him… A part that belongs to you. That will always belong to you…. A part that Addison and I can't touch. So you see, no matter what you do or did, or will do, there's that part that will always be between you guys." Meredith said, her voice full of soft realization.

Both women were silent for several moments. Neither was exactly sure of what they were supposed to say at that point.

Meredith gathered herself and silently headed towards the door. "Meredith. This isn't about me. Not anymore." Erica called to her, in a last ditch effort to make the young intern understand.

"Don't you get it? It's always going to be about you. But I don't blame you, it's not your fault. I'm not mad. I'm just…. I'm just done." Meredith responded quietly. With that, she turned and made her exit.

Erica flopped down in her chair, aggravated at her lack of ability to convince Meredith that she had nothing to worry about.

She couldn't sit for too long because her computer beeped at her, indicating her next appointment was going to begin in half an hour. "Addison Shepherd." The computerized bubble told her.

"Christ, I do not have it in me to deal with this." She muttered. She was going to need to collect herself if she was going to go up against Addison.

MEANWHILE, ADDISON AND MARK

Mark had been laying low since the incident at Joe's. In fact, the only person who knew was still in town was Addison and he'd paged her from the stairwell. He watched from a vacant hall and followed as soon as she hit the stairs.

"Addy!" He called out, stopping her in her tracks.

"Mark." She said, her voice tired and flat.

He jogged down the last few stairs between them, until they were face to face.

"Mark, look… This situation, whatever it is exactly, is bad. I can't deal with my husband, my husband's girlfriend, my husband's ex-wife and you all at one time." She told him,

crossing her arms protectively in front of herself.

Mark was silent for a few moments as he processed what she was telling him.

"You want me to go." He said. It was a statement, not a question, because he knew there was no question as to what she wanted him to do.

She nodded. "I need you to. I don't know how I feel, what I want and I can't figure that out with all these people breathing down my neck." She told him.

He sighed. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to leave her to suffer in silence. But if this was what she wanted. "Will you call me? Either way, regardless of what you decide, will you call?" He asked.

She swallowed. That was asking a bit more than she wanted to give right now. She could barely keep herself together and he was asking for favors But he'd been through almost as much as she had. "Ok. I'll call." She agreed at last.

He stepped closer and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. "I'm sorry things turned out this way." He whispered. And just like that, he turned and made his way down the stairs.

Her PDA beeped at her. The appointment with Erica. Great, that's just what I need right now, a sit down with my husband's ex-wife.

She sighed and climbed back up the stairs and made her way to Erica's office.

Erica got back to her office 5 minutes before the session was to start. She'd taken a quick walk to get some fresh air and had made a pit stop in the bathroom on the way back. She felt as good as she was going to, given the situation. She settled at her desk after telling her secretary to send Addison in whenever she got there.

Addison steadied her breathing as she came to a stop right outside Erica's office. She took a deep breath and pushed in the door.

"Dr. Wakefield will see you now." The secretary dutifully reported.

Addison nodded and swallowed one more time before moving into Erica's office.

"Addison."

"Erica."

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