Confession
Disclaimer: Do you seriously not know it yet?

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update! You know, real life and stuff…
I started writing this story a long time ago. This was originally the last chapter, but I didn't like it as an ending, so there will be more. In fact the next chapter is quite long...it'll probably be up later tonight :)

As always, thanks for the reviews!

No sooner had they sat down than Andrew came over with the soup.

"Did you want the salad at the same time?" he asked, as he placed the soup in front of Ray. He noticed that Ray had decided against the chair and was now sitting on the bench seat right next to Neela.

"That would be great," Neela replied. "Oh," she motioned toward her wine glass, "and can I," she looked at Ray and he nodded, so she corrected herself, "we both get more wine?" Andrew nodded and left.

"Have as much as you want," Ray said, pushing the bowl toward her. She smiled. Soon, Andrew brought out the wine and Thai Salad. "Thanks."

"Anything else?" Andrew asked.

"I think we're good. Thanks," Ray answered. Neela nodded in agreement. Andrew left. The salad sat in front of Ray.

"You can eat that you know?" Neela chided.

"I prefer to have soup first." He smiled. "Whenever you're done."

"I've probably had my share."

"Have as much as you want," he repeated. She pushed the bowl over to him.

"I want to save room for everything else." She smiled. He gave her the salad. Once Ray had finished the soup, Neela was done with her share of the salad, and she slid it back to where Andrew had originally placed it. Neela leaned back into the cushioned seat holding her glass of wine, occasionally taking sips of it, while Ray had his salad. He looked at her, and smiled.

"You look relaxed."

"I am." She admitted.

"Enjoying yourself?" She nodded, with a content look on her face. "Told you," he said smugly and playfully nudged her thigh. He let his hand remain there. He moved it a few inches higher and could feel her wounded skin under the light fabric of her pants. He looked at her, when he first felt it, and she returned his look with sadness and shame in her eyes. He dragged his fingers across it absentmindedly.

"Can I take this for you?" Andrew's voice snapped both of them out of their thoughts. Andrew reached for the empty soup bowl and salad plate. Neela nodded. "Your entrée should be ready shortly. Anything I can get for you?" Ray looked at Neela, who shook her head.

"No, thanks," Ray answered. Andrew noticed Ray's hand hadn't moved from what he guessed was Neela's thigh. He sighed, thinking just friends? Really? as he walked away.

Neela slid her hand under Ray's, intertwining their fingers, and effectively removing his hand from her leg. Ray rested his other elbow on the table and leaned his head on his hand, looking at Neela.

"That's not good manners, Ray," Neela scolded playfully. He smiled and dropped his hand, but didn't take his eyes off of her.

"Neela, what will make you stop?"

"I don't know."

"You have no idea? None whatsoever?" She shook her head. "Neela," he sighed, pain evident in his voice, "Neela," he started again. He didn't know what the rest of the sentence was that he was trying to say. He leaned toward her, kissing her cheek, and whispered into her ear. "Neela, I love you."

"Stop it, Ray," she whispered back, her voice trembling ever so slightly. Andrew was bringing the main course out and saw Ray leaning into Neela. He shook his head. He noted to himself, though, that he wasn't kissing her, he appeared to be whispering something.

"What? Stop what?"

"Stop…caring so much."

"I can't." He kissed her neck, before sitting back up. Andrew set the chicken platter down between them.

"Anything else?" Andrew asked. Ray shook his head, and Andrew walked away.

The rest of their meal was quiet and uneventful. The portions worked out nicely, and they each got enough to eat. Andrew came back a while later, to clear the table. They refused his offer of dessert, and he left again.

"Ray, can we go home?" she said, voice quivering again.

"Yeah. Are you ok?"

"Yes, I just want to go now."

"Let me just go tell Scott we're leaving." She nodded.

Ray got up and shrugged on his jacket as he left. Neela tried to pull herself together, mentally telling herself to relax and calm down. When Ray returned, he was accompanied by Scott.

Scott offered his hand, which Neela took, and stood up. He kissed her hand as he had done when they met, generating a smile from her.

"I'm so glad I finally got to meet you, Neela."

"It was a pleasure," Neela answered politely, though Ray could hear that she was uncomfortable.

"You must come back, since you didn't try any of our desserts." Neela smiled genuinely.

"This has all been lovely, I do hope to return."

"Next time, though, don't bring this guy," he playfully punched Ray in the arm, "he's not nearly good enough for you." Neela gave a weak smile and leaned into Ray. He put his arm around her.

"You do know I can hear you, right?" Ray jibed.

"You know you're not good enough for her," Scott retorted.

"Yeah, I know."

"Yes you are," Neela cut in, addressing Ray. She turned her attention to Scott, "he's good enough, when he wants to be." The two men laughed.

"Enjoy the rest of your night. See you around Ray, and I hope you too Neela." Ray and Neela each smiled and left.

They walked down the block in silence, Ray's arm draped across Neela's back, hand curled around her side. Neela had her arm around Ray's waist. They stopped at the end of the block, waiting for the light to change. Ray took his arm off of Neela and turned, making her arm fall as well. He took her hand in his.

"You're cold!"

"My hands are, a little. I'm not," Neela lied. Ray let go of her hand and took off his jacket. He placed it over her bare shoulders. It warmed her quickly, since it still held his body heat. He took her hand again. The light changed and they continued on their way. Ray periodically glanced down at Neela. She was acting odd at the end of the meal, but seemed content once they were actually leaving the lounge. Now she looked troubled.

"What's the matter?" Ray asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine," Neela mumbled. He stepped in front of her, so they were facing each other, forcing her to stop walking.

"Neela?" She looked at him. "Are you ok?" he asked, knowing the answer was 'no,' but hoping, though doubting, she'd elaborate. He was careful to hide his surprise when she shook her head.

"But I really don't want to talk right now, ok?" she whispered. He nodded and put his arms around her.

"Ok," he kissed the top of her head. "Let's just go home. Taxi?"

"No, that's silly, we're not that far away." He smiled.

"This is true."

They walked the rest of the way home in silence, Ray holding Neela close to him, and shortening his stride to stay in step with her. When they got into the apartment, Ray lifted his jacket off her shoulders. She turned to face him.

"Ray?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"I, umm, I…I did it again," she finally finished, her voice small.

"What? I was with you all day…"

"Before my shower," she answered his implied question.

"Where?" She took his hand placing it on the opposite thigh from the one had removed stitches from that morning. He drew his fingers over it. If he went slowly, he could feel the stitches that she had done. They seemed to be even and tight, unlike the ones she had done much earlier that morning.

"I can't fucking stop, Ray," her voice quiet, choked by restrained tears.

"It's ok." She took a step back, away from him.

"No it's not!" She kicked off her shoes, frustrated.

"I mean it's not ok that you can't stop. But it will be ok."

"How do you know that?" She was walking away from him, toward her room.

"I don't know for sure, but I think it will be." She tossed her shoes into her room, and returned to the kitchen.

"What makes you think it will be?" her voice defeated. He breathed in deeply and walked over to her, putting his hands on each of her shoulders.

"Neela, I think it will be ok because I love you, and I can't imagine, I physically am incapable of imagining, anything could ever not work out for you." She fell into his chest. He let his hands slide down her shoulders and back, and wrapped them around her waist, pulling her into him.

"It's too hard," she whispered.

"You can do it," he replied just as quietly.

"I don't even know what 'it' is. I don't know what I am trying to avoid, or stop avoiding, or change…" her voice trailed off.

"Do what makes you happy. Fuck everyone else. Do things for yourself."

"You don't approve of what I do to make myself happy." He leaned away from her causing her to look up at him and make direct eye contact.

"That doesn't make you happy, Neela. Maybe it stops you from being sad, but it doesn't make you happy." She wrapped her hands around the back of his neck, and let her head rest on his chest again.

"You make me happy, Ray," she whispered, pretty sure he wouldn't hear her, since her voice was directed into his chest.

"What?"

"Nothing," she answered, this time turning her head away from his body, so he could hear her.

"No, what'd you say?"

"I didn't say anything."

"You're a terrible liar," he smiled, "you always have been, but I'll let it go. This time."

"I'm going to bed."

"Ok," he answered. She started to step away from him but he didn't let go of her. She looked up at him. "Sorry," he said, slowly releasing her, giving a guilty smile.

"No you're not."

"That's true, I'm not," he grinned. She rolled her eyes.

"Good night Ray," she said to him before turning around and going to her room.

"'night Neela."

R.E.V.I.E.W.S. --Realization! Evaluations Veritably Include Exciting, Wise Sentiments!