Author's
Notes: I can just imagine the shouts of blasphemy coming because I'm using a "Marvel" based superhero (though based more off the movies than comics). I too was reluctant to use him, but for the purposes of the bunnies in this fic, he fit best. Had a big discussion with an excellent alpha who kept trying to convince me otherwise but I decided it was worth it. So forgive me. Thanks for the reviews and keep them coming.
CHAPTER THREE
"Kent! Lane! Olsen! Get in here!" Perry white called sticking his head out the office door.
The three people in question all hurried to see what had the Editor-in-Chief in such a snit.
"You hear that Lois," Clark smugly pointed out. "Kent first and then Lane."
"Stuff it Smallville," Lois snapped back. "It was alphabetical, plain and simple."
"Whatever lets you sleep easier, Lois," Clark said with a grin.
"Yes Clark," Lois said with a roll of her eyes. "Coming before you is what it takes to get me to sleep."
"Lane!" Perry snapped. "When you walk through that door, you need to leave the discussions of your sex life on the other side."
Lois was fighting a blush at Perry's blunt twisting of her words and slightly grateful that the other men in the room looked confused.
"Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen," Perry said pointing at the three people in question. "I'd like you all to meet Peter Parker."
"How do you do?" Clark said reaching out to shake Peter's hand.
"Hello," Peter greeted back, noting Clark had a excessively firm handshake.
"Peter's done a lot of freelance work snapping for the Bugle in NYC," Perry explained. "And right now, I got two stories we need covered, and both need pictures. The first one is LuthorCorp is unveiling some giant military robot, over next to the radioactive waste treatment plant."
"I'll do it!" Clark blurted out immediately, a mere split second before Peter echoed his words.
"Alright," Perry looked at the two over-eager geeks warily. "Kent, Parker, the press conference begins at 1:30."
"Lane, Olsen, you two are covering the Sweet Little Old Ladies, who make and sell the Sweet Little Old Lady Cookies for charity."
"What?" Lois whined. "Little Old Ladies? Oh come on, Chief. Let me cover the giant robot."
"Now, Lois, I called dibs fair and square," Clark insisted pushing his glasses back up his nose.
Perry ignored them both and continued. "They're about to sell their one millionth box of cookies, and they're expecting you for an interview at 1:30. Now all of you, shoo!"
Peter, Clark, and Jimmy all turned to leave the office, while Lois stuck behind and asked, "Hey Chief, why do you say Kent first?"
"You wanna know why?" Perry said leaning forward conspiratorially.
Lois smiled and leaned forward.
"Because he doesn't ask me why I say Kent first," Perry grinned. "Now you go dig up some dirt on those Little Old Ladies."
Lois rolled her eyes at the assignment. "I'm sure those Little Old Ladies are nothing but trouble."
Peter Parker and Clark Kent were walking around waiting for the press conference to start. They were making small talk while keeping their eyes open for danger. Both men knew giant military robot unveilings never went as planned. The fact that they weren't even a hundred yards from a radioactive waste treatment plant was not to be overlooked either.
Both men were pleased to hear that the other wanted to just hide out near the back where they could leave quickly if they needed to.
The Lieutenant Colonel was saying a few words of introduction while the tarp covering the giant robot was being removed.
Suddenly, Peter's senses picked up on the shift in the air. Clark noticed and looked towards the stage. The robot was beginning to twitch and move oddly.
"Oh dear," the Lieutenant Colonel admitted blandly. "That's not supposed to happen."
Clark turned to Peter and broke out his usual excuse. "I've err… gotta go to the bathroom."
Peter saw his opening and went for the same out. "Well I've got galloping diarrhea."
Clark looked at Peter oddly and turned to leave. "I'm going to use the bathroom this way."
Peter smiled happily and nodded, "I'm going to use the one the other way."
Clark gave Peter one last curious glance and power-walked to the bathroom, careful not to use super-speed in front of the strange photographer.
Peter had fewer reservations than Clark and was all-out sprinting towards the other bathroom, completely missing the sign on the door stating Women.
The giant robot had bent over twitching oddly as its back half was shaking vigorously.
The crowds were watching in tepid amusement when suddenly Superman came flying in from the left side, fist first straight into the head of the giant robot. At the exact same time, Spiderman came web-slinging by, smashing fist first from the right side.
The two superheroes' fists collided in the middle and the giant robot's head popped off with a loud crack.
"Yeow!" Spiderman called out as his hand was smarting in pain. He looked over at the flying man in blue. "Not so hard."
"Sorry about that," Superman commented, making sure the head landed safely away from the press conference.
Spiderman saw the crowds weren't shrieking in fear but just staring at the two heroes in confusion.
"Spiderman?" Superman asked in confusion. "What are you doing here?"
"Just thought maybe the giant robot…" Spiderman paused. He leaned closer and whispered, "Clark?"
Superman landed on the other shoulder of the headless robot, and saw everyone was looking up at the two superheroes. When he heard his name, he snapped his head back to stare at Spiderman. He thought he recognized that voice and focused with his X-ray vision. "Peter?"
Spiderman saw everyone watching them and whispered, "Maybe now's not the best time for this discussion."
Superman nodded and turned to the crowd. He addressed them loudly, "It's okay. You'll be fine now."
"Superman," the Lieutenant Colonel said with a sigh. "That was just a little joke our programmers had staged. The robot was dancing. It wasn't malfunctioning."
"Are you sure?" Spiderman asked dubiously.
The Lieutenant Colonel huffed in irritation and jerked his thumb towards Spiderman while keeping his eyes on Superman. "And what's with the sidekick?"
"My uhhh…sidekick," Superman quickly argued, ignoring Spiderman's indignant cry. "He informed me his spider-sense was tingling, and that the robot was just moments away from setting its final evil plans into evil motion, no doubt, killing you all."
"Really?" Spiderman whispered.
Superman snapped a glare at him and whispered, "Can you afford to pay for a giant robot?"
Spiderman looked towards the crowds and bellowed, "Yup evil plans." He motioned towards his head wiggling his fingers. "Tingle tingle."
"If you say so," the Lieutenant Colonel said, knowing the military couldn't really enforce their 'you break it, you buy it' policy on someone like Superman.
"Good day, everyone!" Superman called out and flew off into the sky. He felt a web smack into his back and realized Spiderman was hitching a ride. He zoomed off, feeling Spiderman yelp as he struggled to hang on at supersonic speeds. He spun around and grabbed a hold of the other superhero and zoomed back into the bathroom carrying him.
Thankfully the bathroom was still empty, as neither superhero wanted to try to explain how their entrance must have appeared to others what with the tights and the carrying.
Clark dug out the change of clothes he'd left behind while Peter did the same with his hidden webbed fanny pack.
Peter was jealous at how quick Clark could change, but heard him mumbling to himself.
"One fricking hour after meeting me, and he figures it out," Clark grumbled. "Five years of crappy excuses and she has no clue."
Peter finished getting dressed and asked, "Girl problems?"
"One in particular. And I'm beginning to think she's an idiot!"
"Oh," Peter said knowingly. "You're in love."
"What?" Clark asked. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Probably nothing," Peter said. "Come on, I need to get some pictures of the headless robot. I didn't have time to set up a camera and get any action shots."
"That's why you always have the best photos of Spiderman," Clark said in dawning comprehension.
"And that's why your partner always gets to interview Superman," Peter replied, cutting off any discussion on journalistic ethics. He had a hunch and asked, "She's the idiot?"
Clark nodded and the pair walked out of the bathroom together. Peter got a dozen or so shots while Clark had been using his super-hearing ever since he flew away with Spiderman. Satisfied they had enough for their story the pair drove to a diner, so they could chat privately in a back booth.
"So, wow," Clark grinned at the irony of their situations. "You're pretending to be an even bigger dork than I am."
"Yeah," Peter chuckled before pausing. "Wait, what do you mean pretending?"
Clark stammered. "Did I say pretending? I meant relenting. You know trying really hard and all." Clark just smiled weakly in unspoken apology.
"So, wow, secretly in love with your partner, huh?" Peter asked happily.
Clark shook his head. "She knows very well how much I care for her."
"But she doesn't know about…?"
Clark glanced around the diner using his X-ray vision to ensure there wasn't anyone hiding nearby or bugs around. "See, the thing is I've decided I want her to know. But I don't want to tell her. I mean she loves unraveling mysteries and stuff, it kinda comes with the territory of being an investigative reporter. So for the past few days now I've been trying to nudge her in the right direction and allow her to figure it out on her own."
"And that's why you're beginning to think she's an idiot," Peter connected. "I get it."
"You're married, right?" Clark asked as soon as the waitress left having delivered their fries.
Peter nodded with a big smile. "Almost two years now."
"She knows about your tights fetish?"
"We never really dated until after she did," Peter answered. "It was kinda what kept us apart. I should have told her sooner."
"So you did tell her?" Clark asked, wanting details.
Peter frowned and said. "Not exactly. One of the times I saved her, Doctor Octavius was attempting an unstable chemical reaction that was going to-"
"Yada, yada, yada," Clark interrupted. "Saved the world, everyone would have died, yada yada yada. Now get to the good stuff."
Peter looked at Clark oddly and explained, "One of the explosions blew my mask off or melted it, I'm not sure. But once MJ saw my face, I figured denying it wouldn't do much good."
"Nuts," Clark said with a sigh. "I don't even wear a mask."
"You do wear glasses," Peter pointed out. "Though that really doesn't seem like it'd matter that much."
"I know!" Clark insisted. "You'd think it wouldn't be this hard." He exhaled tiredly while his mind was concocting a plan. "But you make a good point. I'm beginning to get an idea."
"You're going to tell her?" Peter asked hopefully.
"Of course not," Clark answered surprised it even had been asked. He mentally filed away his latest plan and continued, "But anyways, about that sidekick thing. I meant no offense. I just didn't want to take the time to explain anything."
"Don't worry about it," Peter waved him off. "For my ego's sake, I've convinced myself it's only because Metropolis is your turf and I'm the tourist."
"The girlish scream when our punches connected might warrant some of the blame too."
Peter forcefully grabbed a couple fries. "Thank you for reminding me of that."
Clark considered what he knew about Spiderman and what he'd learned so far about Peter. "Are you going to be in town a couple more days?"
Peter nodded. "I'm guest lecturing at Met. U. on Monday."
"You want to come to a poker game?" Clark asked. "The kind you can bring your special laundry to?"
Peter paled not really understanding what Clark was talking about, but only imagining scenarios that put his virtue at risk.
"That probably didn't come out right," Clark corrected when he saw Peter wince. "What I mean is, now that I know your secret, you can come relax with some other guys who have similar secrets. I won't tell them your secret, but they will know you have one."
"Oh I get it," Peter nodded in comprehension. "Instead of betting money, you bet…"
"Chores," Clark answered. "Cleaning suits, patching rips, maybe filling in patrols, occasionally we'll bet sidekick duties for humiliation purposes. It just gives us a little time to relax."
Peter smiled. "Yeah, I think I might like that."
"A couple of the more cautious regulars will probably check out your real name and decide if they're gonna show up or not." Clark paused and tilted his head to the side. His super-hearing was picking up on something in the distance.
"Sounds fair enough," Peter answered when it seemed Clark had finished talking.
Clark raised a hand to stop Peter from talking as he focused in on what he thought he was hearing. After another few seconds of silence, Clark jumped up from his seat and left some money on the table for his bill. "I've gotta go, Peter," Clark apologized.
"Something I could help with?" Peter offered.
Clark shook his head. "Thanks for the offer, but I think I can handle this. It's just Lois. I don't even want to know how she managed to get herself into trouble meeting with Little Old Ladies."
"Alright," Peter agreed and before he could finish, Clark disappeared in a gust of wind. "See you later," Peter finished lamely into the empty air. "Show-off."
"Super-hearing!" echoed loudly in the distance.
"Crap."