Author's
Notes: Hopefully the last chapter won't take me as long as these last couple have. Just one more to go. All reviews are greatly appreciated.
CHAPTER NINE
"Alright Clark," Lois said after taking the shuttle from the airport to the car rental agency reluctantly empty-handed. "My patience is running thin. The Chief sprung this trip on us at the last minute and made the mistake of leaving it up to me to get the rental car."
"Lois, he already canceled your reservation with the limousine service," Clark argued. "Do you really want to press him on this?"
"He said I had to rent a car, he never said what kind of car," Lois argued. She turned towards the attendant and asked, "Do you have any Ferraris? Or something exorbitantly expensive?"
"We don't carry any Ferraris. And all our vehicles classed at the A-level cost the same," the pimple-faced young man in the suit replied. "Sorry ma'am."
"Ma'am?" Lois snapped, eager to vent more anger. "Do I look that old to you?"
The attendant shook his head fervently and swallowed a whimper.
"Don't answer that," Clark warned the scared young man.
"Yes sir," the attendant readily agreed.
"He's not a sir either!" Lois snapped louder.
"Sorry ma'am," the young man replied instinctively.
Clark rolled his eyes and knew this was a job for super-anger-redirection-man. "Lois, stop scaring the locals. It's not his fault you couldn't pack a bag small enough to carry on the plane."
"If you give me that 'flannel doesn't wrinkle' line again, I swear to all that's good in this world, I'm gonna get a rusty shiv and I'm gonna-"
Clark slapped his hand over Lois' mouth and turned to the rapidly paling man behind the counter. "Do you have a list of available vehicles from your A-level?"
"Certainly, sir," the attendant squeaked and ran into the back office.
Clark looked at the red-faced Lois who was pulling and tugging at Clark's hand. Clark smirked at her. "Licking Lois? Do you have any idea where this hand has been?"
Lois responded with some muffled cries that were no doubt similar to the words she used with the airline employees who lost her luggage in an alleged personal vendetta against Lois.
"Biting now?" Clark said turning towards her as the attendant nervously set a print-out on the counter and scurried back into the safety of the office.
"Mmmphelvugger!" Lois exclaimed breaking free of Clark's grip and grabbing her mouth. "Good god, Smallville. I think I chipped a tooth."
"No doubt weakened by all your sugary coffees," Clark argued deftly avoiding suspicion. "Have you about worked your way through all of your childish anger?"
Lois narrowed her eyes but huffed. "Yes, I have."
Clark grinned at her, wiping his hand on her shoulder.
"But I still have lots of righteous vengeance and well-deserved ire stored up now!"
"You wouldn't be Lois Lane, if you didn't," Clark mumbled and examined the list of available cars. "How about a Hummer?"
"Not without buying me a real expensive dinner first," Lois whipped back, relishing in Clark's unsubtle reaction.
"I meant the car," Clark retorted, grateful for the ribbing that always seemed to improve her mood.
"Oh," Lois mockingly nodded in comprehension. "Well… I don't have self esteem issues, questions about my sexuality, or a fear my penis is too small. What would I want a Hummer for?"
Clark was tempted to turn the tables back on Lois but knew there was a pimple-faced innocent bystander near and avoided the question. He looked over the list again and asked loudly towards the office, "Can we get a Mercedes convertible?"
"Certainly sir," The attendant called from out of sight. "I mean… umm… buddy."
"Thanks chum," Clark called back watching Lois grin deviously. "You enjoy frightening people too much."
Lois shrugged unconcerned. "That's why I have edge."
"Edge?" Clark repeated sharing in her smile. "Do I have edge?"
"Hah!" Lois scoffed so loud you could hear the attendant in the other room flail and whimper. "No Smallville, you're pretty much the opposite. But you do have that farm boy char-" Lois stopped herself before saying something she might regret. She quickly corrected herself and finished, "farm boy naivety."
"You were going to call me charming," Clark grinned back at her victoriously.
"No I wasn't," Lois pouted.
"That's so sweet of you, Lois."
"Don't you start with me."
"Not very edgy though."
Lois just narrowed her eyes and stared at Clark.
The attendant cautiously walked back up to the counter and presented them with the paperwork. "I just need you to sign here and you can be on your way."
Lois kept her eyes on Clark, picked up a pen, and signed the document without once glancing towards it.
"It's umm," the man stuttered as he set the keys on the counter. "It's the blue one right out front. Thank you, come again."
"Thanks," Clark said and took the keys. He started to walk towards the door. "Come on, Lois. You can keep your bedroom eyes on me in the car."
Lois grabbed the keys out of his hand and hurried out the door he was holding for her. "Not if you're in the trunk, monkey boy."
"Monkey boy?" Clark repeated tossing his bag into the backseat. "And you shouldn't be driving if you're angry."
Lois gritted her teeth at her inability to come up with a proper new insulting nickname for him. She was lucky she hadn't called him cow boy which was her first farm-inspired crude nickname before she realized how flirtatious that would have sounded. Horse boy conjured images she really needed to avoid and monkey boy was out of her mouth before she could stop it.
"Even if driving angry is edgy," Clark added when Lois growled as she started up the car.
"Where's a rusty shiv when you need one?" Lois grumbled intent on driving as angry as she could.
"Well, on the plus side," Clark said. "Dropping the reins on your inner Lane seemed to scare him into revealing more than he intended."
"What can I say?" Lois smiled pleased with herself. "I'm brilliant."
Clark nodded. "That's not quite the word I was thinking of, but it does start with a B."
Lois was fighting a smirk and shook her head. "There's something about professionally and financially ruining a bad person that just makes me feel alive."
Clark shook his head. "You just like making them cry."
"I do," Lois admitted readily. "I really do."
"Do we need to do any prep work for our last interview tomorrow morning?"
"Nope, we're ready," Lois answered. "I say we celebrate a successful trip with an expensive dinner on the Daily Planet's tab. What do you say?"
"You're still angry and trying to stick it to our boss?"
"Well," Lois considered. "I'm not still angry, so you're half wrong. Come on. Let's get a steak. I'll even let you name the cow."
"Alright Lois," Clark agreed. "Let's go eat Lois."
The partners only took three steps before the ground beneath them began to shake. Clark pulled her close and positioned them in a doorway, away from glass.
"This is getting ridiculous," Lois snapped as they rode out the weakening aftershocks. "I didn't jinx us by saying anything. I've been much nicer and more amicable and still… every freaking time we're in California, there's an earthquake."
"I'm going to have to take a rain check on dinner," Clark said. "It's getting late, and I should probably turn in."
"What?" Lois snapped staring at Clark. "It's seven. And look around you. No one's barely blinking at another act of god in this godless land."
Clark just yawned and patted his mouth. "Must be delayed jet lag or something."
"Right," Lois said clearly not believing him.
"And I'm feeling a little queasy too," Clark added meekly, straightening his classes. "You go on ahead. Maybe I'll track you down if I'm feeling a little better or get a good nap. Thanks for understanding Lois. Bye."
Lois watched Clark hurry back towards the stairs of their hotel. She briefly wondered if maybe Clark was afraid of earthquakes.
"Good news, Miss Lane. We've located your bag. It's waiting for you at our service counter."
"What?" Lois snapped into her cell phone as her head and shoulder held it in place while driving down the road. "I told you to send it back to Metropolis when you found it."
"Not according to your lost luggage claim."
"I think I know what I told you do with my bag, and when that tool on the other end made a smart-ass remark about it not fitting there, I told him that I wanted it sent back to Metropolis."
"Well your claim was processed and your bag is here waiting for you."
"Send it to Metropolis for me then. It's not that complicated."
"We can do that. You'll just need to come on down and file a claim."
"If I come down there, I might as well take my bag. I'm flying out in less than three hours."
"Excellent then. Don't forget to check your bag. It's too large to carry on."
Lois handed her phone to Clark as she took a deep breath, keeping both hands on the wheel. "Clark, hang up my cell phone really angrily please."
Clark saw Lois looked very upset and took the phone from her. "Umm… to whom am I speaking?"
"This is-"
Clark snapped the phone shut and calmly handed it back to Lois.
Lois was fighting a smile while focusing on the road ahead. "Smallville. I didn't think you had it in you."
Clark smiled back. "Not all of my… flying experiences have gone well."
Lois felt all of her anger dissipate at the comfort of having Clark with her. She kept stealing glances at him as he relaxed back in passenger seat with the convertible top down. She knew he was aware she'd been watching him as he kept his eyes closed, while a curious eyebrow curled.
She hated uncomfortable silences, but somewhere along the way the silence with Clark was never uncomfortable. She'd even heard that Superman had been in California helping out after the earthquake and she found herself once again comparing the incomparable.
The rest of the drive was spent enjoying the sun and the wind through their hair as they drove in a convertible with the top down. The calm was interrupted by Clark asking, "Umm Lois?"
"What?"
"You know the airport is the next exit."
"Oh, good eye. I was sort of zoning off there."
"Yeah, I noticed. I only mention it because if the next exit is the airport, then we missed rental agency about four exits back."
"Crap!" Lois cursed looking behind her hopelessly.
"Don't sweat it," Clark said.
"Our flight is in barely an hour. I don't think we're going to make it."
"I'll make you a deal," Clark told her. "Take us to the airport. I'll drop you off and return the car. You can still catch the flight. I'll take a later one. In exchange, you take my laptop and finish up the article."
"Are you sure?" Lois said pulling off at the exit. "I can turn us around and we can both try and make it."
Clark nodded. "I don't know if there are any later flights, and the Chief will want the story tonight. But if you'd rather trust me to write up the article…"
"Fine, fine," Lois agreed to Clark's plan. "I'll write it up and you can return the car. You always leave out the tears when you write."
"Yeah, I know. That's me and my farm boy charm."
"Don't push it, monkey boy." Lois pulled up next to the departing flights section for their airline and hopped out. "You sure you're okay with this?"
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you'd want me around," Clark smiled and gave Lois a hug goodbye. He cheekily called out, "Don't forget to check your bag. It's too large to carry on."
Lois growled and headed off towards the service counter.
The flight seemed to take forever. She'd cranked out the article in near record time and found herself horribly bored without Clark's presence. She'd called Chloe to pick her up and met her down at the baggage claim.
"Did you know Clark's afraid of earthquakes?"
"Clark?" Chloe repeated. "Earthquakes?"
Lois nodded. "Guess it's just another phobia to add to his list."
"You keep a list of Clark's phobias?" Chloe asked with a grin. "And just what is on your list?"
Lois tapped her chin while waiting for the carousel to deliver her bag. "Let's see, there's floods, fires, rockslides, tornadoes, and now earthquakes. You know, come to think of it just about every natural disaster."
"Is he scared or perhaps he just has irritable bowel syndrome?"
"Hostage situations too," Lois said continuing to recall things Clark seemed to be afraid of. "Oh and alien invasions, of course. He's never to be found when those happen."
"Lois," Clark called as he hurried up towards her. "Sorry I'm late. I couldn't remember if I was supposed to pick you up or… oh. Hello Chloe."
"Clark," Chloe said with a nod of her head while she was biting her lip. Clark's white button down shirt was open a little and a bright blue spandex undershirt was visible.
"I guess I wasn't supposed to pick you up," Clark grinned brightly at them both. "My fault. I'll catch up with you guys later." Clark turned and hurried away before Lois could get a word out.
"What… but…" Lois looked at Chloe. "He dropped me off at the airport because he had to return the rental car."
Chloe looked at her cousin innocently. "Are you sure?"
"That doesn't make any sense," Lois stated. "How could he…"
"Forget it, Lois. It's Chinatown." Chloe said gruffly in a deep voice.
"But, I mean…" Lois huffed. "That really doesn't make any sense!"
"What were we talking about before Clark showed up?" Chloe asked trying to remember.
"I was talking aliens and you were talking Clark's bowels," Lois repeated immediately before cocking her head curiously. "Were we really in the same conversation?"
Chloe shrugged. "Maybe Clark has alien bowels."
"What?"
"Never mind."