I'm none to proud with this one. So if it sucks, play along with it. If it doesn't, you win the ultimate prize of an autographed picture of Riku!
"Okay, so we've been tortured by a bunch of teachers" Riku lists. "Hey I didn't torture you!" Axel complained. "Right, like you haven't been doing that now?" Riku raises an eyebrow. "Noooooo!" Axel spits his tongue out. "Anyways, we've all nearly been killed and/or hurt mercilessly" Riku states. "I haven't!" Sora threw his hands in the air from Axel's lap. "That's your imagination" Selphie glared at him from her seat. "Really? Then I've been imagining Riku taking off his shirt and dumping water on him?" Sora asked. Selphie and Riku stared at him with disgusted looks, especially Riku. "Y'know, I keep imagining Axel wearing tight pants too" Sora looked up to Axel. "I am hot in tight pants!" Axel huggled him. "No, I am!" Riku yelled. "You know I'm hot!" Axel spit his tongue out. "I can imagine it now" Sora sighed dreamily. "Well in his imagination, I'm hotter!" Riku pointed to Sora. "Actually, Axel i-" "I'm hotter!" Riku yelled.
"Y'know, why don't we just complain to Strife?" Selphie suggested. "Because I think your suggestions are plain stupid" Riku answered. "What?" Selphie said, veins popping out her head. "Awwwww, this is just how Riku gets when he's annoyed to much" Sora said as Axel gave him a piggy back ride. "Maybe I should start dating Kairi. She's lookin pretty hot" Riku thought. "No, Riku! Don't go to the darkside!" Sora jumped off Axel's back. "Snap outta of it!" Sora began slapping him.
"Heheheh, I'm a happy bunny!" Riku laughed crazily as Sora hit him. "No you're not! You're a mega hot bishounen! A mega hot bishounen who's the son of the greatest villian on the planet!" Sora shook him. "Wow, Sora. You actually sound smart" Selphie twitched.
"Sora IS smart deep deep deep" 5 minutes later "deep down inside" Axel smiled. Suddenly, Riku began to drool and his eyes rolled back into his head and he turned a pale color. "Riku? Riku?" Sora shook him. "NOOOOOOOOOO! WIIIIIIIKUUUUUUUUU!" Sora screamed to the ceiling. "Aw man. He just totally shut off" Axel poked at him with his chakrams. "His annoying tank couldn't take it" Sora shakes his head. "And now, I must run some water over his dying body" Sora walked into a bathroom that happened to be right next to them.
-10 minutes later- "He's been in there a long time" Selphie sighs. "I'm calling the police" Axel takes out his cellphone. "Like that's gonna help" Selphie mumbles. "It didn't work!" Sora walked out of the bathroom. "He kept spitting it back into my face" Sora shook the water off. "Duck...Sandwich" Riku mumbled. "Wha?" Axel asked. "Mega duck sandwich!" Riku smiled as his eyes came back to normal. "Oh Sora, lets get married!" Riku huggled him. "I wish we could, but my mom says not until I learn how to tie my shoes" Sora sighs. "Hey, he's my Sora!" Axel snatched him away from Riku. "He's my cheese!" Riku grabbed onto Sora's hand. "Okay, we are going to Strife!" Selphie crossed her arms.
-In the Office. You know, the office- "You see what your school has done?" Selphie slammed her fists down on his desk. "No I havent, I've been doing a great job" Cloud lays back in his chair shaped like a...giant teddy bear? "Oh yeah? Here's your proof!" she brings in the others. "I'll make a man outta you!" Riku points to Sora. "Really?" Sora looked at him as he dragged him into the room. "He does have abs" Axel thinks. "See what your stupid school has done to Riku?" Selphie pointed to Riku. "Go get some snacks, and a car-bo-nat-ed so-da" Riku smiled. "Which type do you want?" Sora asked. "Chocolate milk" Riku drooled. "You got it!" Sora runs out the door. "Ya see?" Selphie turns to Cloud, only to see him sleeping.
"STRIFE!" Sephiroth burst through the door. "Wha?" Cloud shot up. "I ran out of kids to kill, I mean, massacre" Sephiroth slammed his fists down on the desk. "Here's a plushie" Cloud hands him a plushie of himself. "Not happy!" Sephiroth yelled. "Um, are you Riku's in-need-of-an-asylum dad?" Selphie asked. "Who wants to know?" Sephiroth turned to her. "I think your son needs to!" she points to Riku. "Every little song I wrote, I want to sing them note for note. Don't worry, be happy" Riku nods his head. "Riku! What the heck happened to you?" Sephiroth walked over. "He had an overload and now he's crazy" Axel pokes at him.
"I must burn down Nibelheim!" Riku yells. "I don't see a problem" Sephiroth crosses his arms. "Check again" Axel held Riku closer to Sephiroth. "Fooooooorrrr, nausea, heartburn, indegestion, upset stomach, diarrhea" Riku twirls around and then falls to the ground. "What have you done to my son!" Sephiroth turns to Cloud. "Why is everybody blaming it on me?" Cloud complains. "Cause you're the principle" Axel narrowed his eyes. "So I am" Cloud rubs his chin. "You're gonna pay Strife!" Sephiroth put his hand on the hilt of the Masamune. "Okay, how much?" Cloud takes out his wallet. "Not like that" Sephiroth slowly walked over to him.
"They only had cereal soda. Sorry Riku" Sora comes back. "You want answers!" Riku gets up. "I want chees-" "You can't handle the truth!" Riku cuts Sora off and then falls onto a chair. "Do you need a magazine to read, sir and/or madame?" Cloud walks over to Riku and hands him a book. He opens it and starts to giggle. "Sora" he smiles. "Yes?" Sora walks over to him. "Read between the lines, Sora. Read between the LINES!" Riku forces the book into his face. "Scary!" Sora falls backwards. "I'm going to get some tacos" Axel walks outta the room. "Wait, you can't leave us now!" Selphie calls. "I just did, sucka!" Axel yells.
-20 minutes later- "Ma-ma-ma-ma maishirona!" Riku rolls on the ground. "There's gotta be something that'll wake him up" Axel finishes his third taco. "Yeah, but what?" Selphie asks. "Why're you asking me? I just said there's gotta be something to wake him up. Yeesh!" Axel rolls his eyes. "Hehehehehe, Riku's funny" Sora points. "Where did I go wrong, Riku? When!" Sephiroth yelled from his chair. "Hey Sephiroth, they pair you with me in this book!" Cloud smiles. "It gets even worse!" Sephiroth starts to hit his head on the wall.
Sora looked around the room and a lightbulb lit above his head. "Sorry, I was doing a magic trick" Axel brings the magic lightbulb back to him. "Well, I've got an idea anyways" Sora smiles. "Sora's got an idea? It must be the end of the world" Selphie sighs. "Ooooooooooh, Riku?" Sora looked over to him. "It's Spartacus!" he points to Sora. "Look at what I found" Sora walks over to a bookshelf and picks something off it. "Present for Riku?" Riku walks over. "Maaaaybe" Sora hides it behind his back.
"I love you Santa!" Riku falls onto his butt. "Here you go" Sora tosses him something. "This is!" Riku looks at what's in his lap. "What you wanted" Sora helps him up. "The BLACK MATERIA!" Riku held it up with lightning flashing in the background. "Larxene must be working on the roof" Axel sighed. "I finally got it!" Riku smiled as he came back to his senses. "Thanks, Sora" Riku huggled him. "Aw, I'd do anything for you Riku" Sora huggled him back. "Thanks to you too, Axel" Riku turned to him. "I was bored" Axel laid back in his chair. "Hey, what about me? If I hadn't dragged you here, you wouldn't have gotten that thing" Selphie shouted.
"Yeah, like I need to thank you for not even playing along with my out-of-control behavior" Riku spit his tongue out. "Hey, that's school property" Cloud finally noticed Riku. "Well it's mine now, and I'm gonna blow up this school with it!" Riku put it in his pocket. "That's my boy" Sephiroth left, wiping tears from his eyes. "I make my family so proud" Riku put his hands on his hips. "I'm getting security" Cloud lifted what look like a stuffed chocobo plushie and pushed a button. "Bail!" Sora yelled as all of them ran out the door.