I know that I'm updating super early, but there's a reason for it. Aside from finals starting next week, I'm in the middle of a family crisis. My great-grandma is sick and we don't know when she's going to pass, so we're pretty much walking on egg shells at the moment. If there isn't an update next week like there should be, I'm sorry and I'll try my hardest to get the chapter up A.S.A.P...

Other than that, I don't think I have anything to say besides thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed. Y'all are awesome!...

WARNINGS: naughty language and finally some shonen-ai goodness!!!…

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters or the worlds…

"…The only way out is letting your guard down
And never die forgotten (I know)
Forgive me my love
I stand here all alone and I can see the bottom

Promise me you'll try to leave it all behind
Cause I've elected hell
Lying to myself
Why have I gone blind?
Live another life
You…"

—"You" Breaking Benjamin

Chapter Three:
Leave It All Behind…

The rest of the week passed in the same monotonic blur as the first two days had. A homework assignment was thrown at me here, a test there, but other than that, everything was as normal as it could get.

The only odd, yet wonderful, thing about the week was that I barely saw Mom at all. She stayed at my aunt's house most of the time, only returning to our house for clothes or other necessities. Whenever she did return, I made sure I was locked away in my room, safe and sound. I listened to her footsteps as she hurried around the house and praised whoever ruled above that they never neared my room.

Needless to say, the weekend passed just as uneventfully as my week had. I was lucky to have both days off from work. The time that wasn't spent on sleeping or reading or doing homework was spent on the couch watching wonderful cartoons. I think my favorite kiddy cartoon was Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. It was amazing what the creators came up with, but you knew that they had to be very imaginative to be able to do it so wonderfully. Just watching Foster's changed the world of cheese for me forever.

I talked to Roxas once over the course of the weekend. Even though he and Naminé were broken up, he was still busy with work so I hadn't been able to see him. He still hadn't talked to me like he'd promised, but I understood. Busy was busy and there was nothing he could do to help it.

I also got a surprise when my older brother called. He muttered something about not being a very good brother and that he wanted to see me sometime. I thought it was a great idea. I hadn't seen Leon since our move to Weston. We came up with the plans quickly. He would meet me at the house when I got home from school on Monday so we could leave straight from there and not worry about me getting home too late. In a way, I was hoping that I wouldn't have to go back after that, but I knew that Leon would make me.

So, when I woke up to the annoying buzzing of my alarm clock on Monday morning, I wanted to throw the cursed thing out my window so I could sleep for the rest of eternity. But I couldn't even muster the strength to lift an arm and hit the snooze button. I grumbled quietly and threw my blankets back from my face so I could glare at the red jumbo-sized numbers that stared back at me in innocence. When the clock didn't shut up, I slammed down on it with a fist and crawled out of bed.

I hopped in the shower, letting the warm water rouse me from my sleep as it relaxed my muscles and ran down my face. Next I dried off and dressed in a simple pair if jeans and a pale blue tee-shirt, shrugging a grey and blue plaid jacket over my shoulders to complete the outfit. I followed the same routine I did every morning. Shower, dress, drop dirty laundry off in my room, go downstairs, eat, let Bo outside, grab my school things, leave.

I wedged the headphones for my MP3 player into my ears and waited on the front porch for Roxas to arrive. He came a few minutes later. I stood and gathered my things, but didn't remove the headphones. I turned the volume down so I could hear him talking over the music.

"Hey, Sora. How was your weekend?"

I smiled. "It was okay, for once. How about yours?"

He groaned and rolled his eyes. "Boring as hell. All I did was work. The only excitement was when Maho tried cooking dinner Saturday night. It was scary. I think the casserole growled at me."

I laughed. "Least you got to spend time with family. My mother spent the weekend at my aunt's. I heard from Leon, though."

Roxas frowned and I immediately damned myself for opening my stupid mouth. "Wish you wouldda told me you were home alone. You could have spent the weekend at my house." He sighed. "How's Leon, though? You haven't talked to him in forever, huh?"

I shrugged. "I liked my alone time. And Leon's doing well. Says he felt like he was being a bad brother." I laughed. "But he's been so busy with school that I don't blame him for not taking time out to see me."

He furrowed his brow and his frown deepened but he didn't pry anymore. I hoped that he was getting a good enough reading from my emotions to know that I wasn't lying and that I didn't want to talk about my weekend anymore.

"You had a good weekend, though?"

I nodded and kept silent, but he seemed happy to just have that to go on. I wasn't lying. That weekend had been one of the best I'd had in a long time. No Mom to put up with and only Bo for company. I wasn't a half-bad cook, so I was able to make my own meals, and I knew where Mom kept the spare money if I needed to go to the grocery for anything. All in all, it could have possibly been considered great.

The large brick building that we called school was just starting to come into view when Roxas decided to try talking to me again.

"You wanna go to the Pumpkin Festival next weekend?"

I frowned and glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He smiled and shrugged.

"What? You want something to do, right? And you can spend the night at my house, too, so you won't have to go home to the she-bitch from Hell."

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "I'll get back to you on that."

He sighed and shook his head, but didn't have time to argue with me. Kairi and Selphie were waiting for us in front of the school. They jumped up from the step they had been sitting on and dashed to our side, a bright smile on her face.

"Good morning, Roxas! 'Morning, Sora!" Selphie exclaimed. It made my head hurt. She was too happy for seven-thirty in the morning, not to mention a Monday.

Kairi greeted us with a small wave each.

"G'Morning, Selphie. Good morning, Kairi," Roxas said nicely. I only answered them with a nod and half smile as we made our way into the building.

Selphie managed to drag a silent Kairi into some conversation about what she had done over the weekend and I was able to walk on my own. I sighed as the brunette dragged a pitiful looking Kairi into a bathroom, and continued the rest of the walk to my locker with Roxas.

At my locker, I quickly put in my combination and grabbed the books for my first three classes from the stack at the bottom of the metal cubby. I waited a few minutes to see if Kairi and Selphie were on their way, but soon gave up. If Selphie was talking, it was going to be awhile before Kairi was free. I closed my locker and started for the history classroom with a silent Roxas, waving halfheartedly at him when we parted ways.

There were still fifteen minutes before class was to begin when I got into the classroom, so no student in their right mind was there yet. That was perfectly fine with me. I made my way to my desk and settled down into the uncomfortable plastic seat.

A sudden wave of exhaustion crept over me, like the walk to school, down the halls and to the class had been the most arduous things I had ever done in my life. With a quick glance at the clock to make sure I still had some time, I crossed my arms on my desk and nestled my head into them. I was asleep before I even closed my eyes.

o-o-o-o-o

Blood was everywhere. It covered the ground, tainted the water, and stained his hands and clothes. The smell was overwhelming and he collapsed on to his knees, vomiting on to the ground. Everywhere around him, people laid dead. Men, women, children. Gender or race didn't matter to the beings that had gone through and caused this destruction.

When his stomach was empty, he looked up from the ground and examined his surroundings. Buildings were burning and glassy eyes stared at him from a hundred different angles. There was movement ahead of him, but for what side that movement was from, he couldn't tell.

A new wave of nausea swept over him and he clenched his eyes closed, pushing himself up from the ground with his sword. He limped across the bloodstained earth, taking care to not step on any of fallen.

Someone was rushing toward him but he couldn't tell who it was. His vision was blurry with exhaustion and the heat that radiated from the fires that surrounded him. He quickened his pace, using his sword as a makeshift cane so he wouldn't fall.

"Sora!"

That voice. It was so familiar, so beautiful. The sound of it sent a shiver of joy rippling through his body. He had been so worried that he'd been killed in the battle. But he hadn't been. He was still alive, still there to hold him.

He pitched forward but was caught in the person's arms. They fell to the ground, cradling his head in their lap, running their fingers through his hair and against his face. The person above him laughed joyfully and a pair of gentle lips was pressed against his forehead.

He opened his eyes to see such a familiar smiling face. It was the face of an angel, it had to be. Such soft pale skin and such beautiful silver hair. Such magnificent aquamarine eyes. He soon found himself drowning in their depths.

"R…Riku?"

The angel smiled and nodded. "Yes, it's me. I told you I would find you!" Riku ran his knuckles against his cheek and sighed. "I was so afraid that they had captured you already. I thought I was too late."

Sora smiled and shook his head, reaching up to brush a hand across Riku's cheek, to tuck a lock of hair behind his ear. "I wouldn't have let them get me. I would have died before my chance to see you again was taken away from me."

Riku laughed sadly, tears starting to drip from his eyes. "Sora, I lo—" The words stuck in Riku's throat as his eyes suddenly widened.

Sora looked up at him in alarm as he started to gag. Blood oozed from between his lips.

"Riku!"

o-o-o-o-o

I awoke with a loud gasp just as the bell signaling the end of first hour rang. I ran my hands through my hair and against my face, surprised when I felt wetness on my cheeks. I pulled my hands away and stared at the salty tears that stuck to my fingers for a moment before I growled and buried my face in my hands.

"Are you okay, Sora?"

My shoulders stiffened at the sound of Kairi's voice. I had forgotten that I was in class, even as the other students filed out of the classroom. I pulled my hands away from my face and glanced up at Kairi slowly. She was watching me with genuine concern in her eyes, her brow furrowed and a frown on her face. She was standing but sat when she saw me look at her.

Kairi cocked her head to the side and brushed a lock of my hair behind my ear. "You're not alright, are you? You had a nightmare."

It wasn't a question. She knew. This girl surprised me a little more every day.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. You could call it that."

She sighed and smiled softly. "You wanna talk about it?"

I shook my head. "No. Not really." I had no idea what it meant to begin with. How could I explain it to someone else who hadn't even seen it? And why was Riku in it?

There he was again. Riku. He was always in my thoughts and now he'd moved on and conquered my dreams, or so it seemed. But there had been something different about him in my dream. He had been kind, loving. He'd held me as if he were holding a lover. I shook my head as I remembered the pressure of his lips against my forehead.

Riku.

Was he ever going to leave me alone?

Kairi stood from her desk and held a hand out to me. "Well, we better go or we'll be late to our next classes. Don't want detention now, do we?"

Sighing, I shook my head and gathered my books. I stood and carefully weaved my way around her, ignoring the hand she had offered. I wanted the crowded hallway because there I would be shielded, lost amongst the groups of friends and cliques that filled the narrow corridors.

I quickly made it to my trig class and silently took my seat in the back of the room. I got my books out of my knapsack and grabbed a pencil to take notes, but I knew that I wasn't going to be able to concentrate on much. I still couldn't stop thinking about my dream and what it could mean. It probably meant nothing, but I wanted to know where it came from and, most of all, why I'd had it.

o-o-o-o-o

"Earth to Sora. Hello in there."

I blinked and shook my head slightly to jump back into reality. I was sitting in the cafeteria with Kairi and Roxas at "our" table. Hayner, Pence, Olette and Selphie (thank the gods) had yet to show up.

Roxas frowned and rested his chin in his hand as he stared at me. "You've been out of it since first period. Are you sure everything's okay?"

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, positive," I muttered weakly. I knew he wouldn't fall for it, but I hoped he wouldn't press matters.

He sighed and rolled his eyes but dropped the subject. Kairi looked back and forth between us for a moment then clapped, a bright smile on her face.

"I know! You should go to the festival with us, Sora!"

I groaned. "Roxas already brought the subject up. I dunno…"

Kairi pouted and looked at me with her puppy dog eyes.

I rolled my eyes. "It doesn't work. I'm the heartless bastard who is immune to all things cute and cuddly, remember? You dubbed me that yourself, if I recall correctly."

She narrowed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at me, but I shoved it off with a shrug. So what if I was cold? The only friend I had ever had the intention of keeping was Roxas. Kairi and the others were the ones who had shoved themselves into my life, so I had the right to be cold to them if I wanted…even if it meant that I was going to be called a heartless bastard in the process.

I sighed and stirred the vanilla pudding on my lunch tray with a fork, my thoughts wandering off on their own again. It didn't take long before a familiar form began to take shape in my head. Tall with pale skin…silver hair to his mid-back…deep, cold green eyes…always dressed in beautiful, dark-colored clothes.

I grumbled quietly under my breath and stabbed my fork into my tray, the prongs sticking in the Styrofoam bottom. Why? Why was I always thinking about him? Why couldn't I be like every "normal" teenage boy and think about the supermodels on television or something? I was thinking about a guy…all the time…

Shaking my head, I stood up from the table and grabbed my tray. Roxas and Kairi looked at me in surprise but I glared at them.

"I'm going to the bathroom."

I slung by knapsack over my shoulder and stalked away from the table. I stopped by the trashcans and dumped my tray, then shoved open the double doors and disappeared into the hallway. The silence that followed was bliss. For the first time all day, I was able to think halfway clearly.

I walked into the first bathroom I passed and could have sang to the gods when I saw that it was empty. I pushed my way into the handicapped stall at the back of the room and dropped my bags on to the floor. I followed, sliding my back down the wall until I was sitting on the cold tile floor. I closed my eyes and rested my head back against the wall.

I still hadn't been able to come up with a logical reason for having the dream. I still had no idea where it had come from or why Riku and I had been together in such a way. It bothered me, but not as much as I wished it had. I knew that I was attracted to Riku. Hell, how could I be attracted to him? He was a walking sex god, after all.

I sighed and opened my eyes. I shrugged my jacket from my shoulders and groped to my side for my knapsack. I flipped it open and dug around until I found my compass. I pulled the silver tool from my bag and stared at the sharp point as I moved it closer and closer to the skin at the inside of my arm.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I jumped and the compass tumbled from my hand, making a loud "clanging" noise against the floor. I glanced beneath the door and saw a pair of feet standing where the sinks would be. I hadn't heard anyone walk in! How had they been so quiet?

A laugh, then: "So predictable."

That voice was so familiar. I knew it.

The feet gracefully moved closer to my stall, stopping only a few feet away. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, trying to calm my raging heart. When I failed, I opened my eyes and grabbed my compass and shoved it back into my backpack. Then I stood from the floor and opened the door. I had to know if I was hallucinating or not.

I wasn't.

Standing to the right of my door was Riku, leaning with his back against the door of the next stall and his arms crossed over his chest. He smirked at me when I looked at him and pushed himself away from the door. My heart felt like it was about to explode. I was close to Riku every day in my chemistry class but he'd never looked at me the way he was now.

He took a step closer to me and I stepped back. He took another step closer and I took another step back. I walked backwards until my back ran into the wall behind me, and watched with scared eyes as Riku closed in on me. Thankfully, he stopped a few feet away and crossed his arms over his chest, his aquamarine eyes examining me from head to toe.

"Wh-what do you want?"

He laughed and took a step forward. I gulped…loudly. That only succeeded in making him laugh again and take another step closer. There was less than a foot of room between us now and it was only then that I noticed how much taller he was than me. He easily out-measured me by at least a head. His long, silver hair and pale skin blended in with the navy long-sleeved shirt and black turtleneck zip-up vest he wore.

"Are you scared of me, Sora?" he whispered. His voice was calm and intimidating, but something that flashed behind his eyes made me shake my head.

"No, I'm not. Should I be?"

He smiled and shrugged and took another step forward, successfully pinning me between the wall and himself. I gulped and looked up at him through my bangs. The smile on his face combined with the look in his eyes was positively wicked.

"It would make things much easier if you were," he whispered.

Before I had time to question him, he dipped his head and kissed me. My eyes widened and I immediately used all of my strength to push him away. He stumbled backwards with a half-pained, half-incredulous look in his eyes.

"What the fuck?" I shouted. "Stay away from me!"

Riku smiled and his eyes darkened. He shook his head and pressed me tighter against the wall, his lips against my ear. He laughed and the gust of breath sent a shiver rippling down my spine.

"No. I won't let go. Not since I've found you again."

I closed my eyes in preparation for a punch, but I was surprised when I felt the gentle press of his lips against mine again. My eyes snapped open and I found myself drowning in Riku's twin oceans. My arms wrapped around his neck of their own accord and my eyes slipped closed as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

I sighed when he pulled away. His fingers drifted lightly across my neck, where traces of the bruise my mother had given me still lingered. His fingers were soon replaced by his lips, each kiss draining away the pain my mother had caused me. I forgot about her…forgot about the outside world. His touch was intoxicating. I knew that I would never be able to get enough.

I know that I should have pushed him away and I really know that I should have told him to get the fuck away from me when I'd had the chance, but something about what was happening—being held in his arms, being touched by him, just being with him—felt completely and utterly right. For some inexplicable reason, I felt like I had found someone I'd been hunting down for centuries. A lost love that I had parted with in tragedy many years ago.

I didn't want to let him go.

I shivered as his teeth dragged across my skin and moaned his name quietly, burying my fingers in his hair. I lifted my head to give him access to more skin but he pushed himself away from me violently. He was across the bathroom by the time I opened my eyes, looking at me again with hatred in his eyes.

"What is it about you?" he whispered.

I cracked open my eyes and watched as his emotions raged across his face. Sadness, pain, want, anger, lust, hatred, love…they all blended together and formed a seven-headed demon that looked so beautiful on his face.

"Why now? Why have you returned after leaving me in loneliness for so long?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. His words confused me, but my own words forced a blush to my face. "I…I don't know. What is it with you? You haunt my thoughts, you haunt my dreams, and now you haunt my reality," I whispered. "I can't seem to get away from you."

He growled and turned to look at his reflection in the mirror behind him like I had on many a night at home. He gripped the edges of the sink so hard that his knuckles were white.

"Riku…I…"

I jumped as he looked at me. He looked so angry, like I had done something to him when I hadn't done anything at all. It scared me to see him that way again. He looked like he wanted to hurt me.

"Riku…"

He shook his head. "Don't, Sora."

I frowned and pushed myself away from the wall. His expression grew darker with each step I took closer to him, but I ignored it. I didn't care.

"Don't, Sora," he warned again.

The words fell on deaf ears. I took the last step and looked up at him with a frown on my face.

"It's not fair to play with a boy's heart, you know," I muttered. "You touch me so gently and I feel empty when you let go. You kiss me so tenderly and I feel drunk with the press of your lips against mine. Then you shove me away coldly and glare at me like you hate me." I laughed sadly.

He roughly grabbed my face and attacked my lips again. The kiss was hot and passionate and gentle all at the same time. I was the first to pull away. My breath came in loud gasps, making my chest head and my head spin. I melted in a pile of goo in Riku's arms. My body slumped forward and I rested my forehead on his shoulder. Riku pulled me flush against his body and rested his cheek atop my head. His hands ran slowly and calmingly through my hair. He kissed my temple softly.

"I've missed you," he muttered and kissed my temple again, pulling me tighter against him. "Gods, how I've missed you."

I sighed and let my arms wrap around his neck, allowing my eyes to slip closed. Almost immediately, a rush of images assaulted across my vision.

Riku covered in blood like my dream, his eyes blank and fading. Roxas with the pair of beautiful black wings sprouting from his shoulder blades. Riku with a smile on his face while walking through a moonlit garden. Roxas in a sickbay. A gleaming white palace. An identical black palace. Roxas and Axel locked in a passionate kiss. Dark nights. Beautiful white wings. A silver crown pendant. Green. Silver. Blue. Red. Blonde. White. Black.

The images began to flash too quickly for me to make anything of them. They blurred together then just became flashes of a single color. They were moving too fast. It was going to make me sick. I tried to open my eyes but they wouldn't listen to my commands. My heads tightened into fists in the fabric of Riku's shirt.

"Sora."

My face was cradled gently between Riku's hands. His thumbs gently ran back and forth across my cheeks. Tears welled up in my clenched eyes and spilled over. I heard Riku gasp and then he was on them, kissing and licking my tears away.

"Sora…open your eyes…"

I moaned quietly and tried opening them again. This time they slid open easily and I was happily greeted with Riku's half-smiling, half-frowning face. He brushed my hair out of my face and tucked the stray hands behind my ear, then kissed my forehead. I blinked and let my eyes study him before I decided it was safe for me to speak.

"Kurai and Akari…" I muttered and felt Riku stiffen. I sighed. "Roxas wasn't lying. They're real places, aren't they? They really exist. They're not just in my dreams."

He shook his head. "They were real, but not anymore. They were destroyed in the war long ago."

I sighed and furrowed my brow. "War? What war? What did I see? I don't understand, Riku." I buried my face in his shoulder. "Why…why does this feel so right? Why didn't I push you away? Why did you look at me like you wanted to kill me yesterday? Why…?"

"You still have a lot to remember…" he stated, more to himself than to me. He closed his eyes and sighed, reopening them with a smile on his face. "And I didn't look at you like I wanted to kill you. Devour you, maybe. But I didn't want to kill you."

I pulled away from his shoulder and glared at him. "Devour, me? What the hell? Do I look like something that's been deep-fried and smothered in chocolate to you?"

He chuckled and nipped my bottom lip playfully. "No, but you taste like it."

The small glint that passed through his eyes gave me the impression that he wasn't talking about my lips. Heat spread across my face and I buried my face in his shoulder before he could see me blush. He laughed and kissed the top of my head softly and pulled me away from him.

"I have to go," he whispered and kissed me quickly on the mouth. "Roxas is quick and it wouldn't be good if he found me here. I would be the one being killed then." He laughed and kissed me again before heading toward the door. "I'll call you tonight, and answer your phone this time."

And then he left. The door clicked shut and I was left alone in the bathroom. I growled and ran out the door after him, but I was too late. He was already lost in the crowd of people who had flooded the halls.

Sighing, I shoved my hands in my pockets and joined the crowd. I could still feel his lips on mine. I could still taste him. I just hoped that Roxas wouldn't realize that something happened because then I'd be dead too.

o-o-o-o-o

Riku wasn't in chemistry. Axel showed up but Riku's empty seat lingered between us like a gaping void in the universe. But the thing that made me angry was that I missed him like nothing I had ever missed before in my life. I should have been glad that I didn't have to suffer from the uncomfortable closeness we had to bear during this class, but I wasn't. I wanted to feel him sitting next to me, to know if he might let our elbows touch this time.

Roxas felt my distress and looked at me every so often out of the corner of his eye. I hadn't talked to him since my rude departure from the cafeteria earlier that afternoon and he hadn't bothered to try and attempt conversation between us. I know that he knew something had happened that I didn't want to talk about, and I was relieved that he wasn't going to bring it up.

The hour passed quickly and we were released with a homework assignment that was due on Wednesday. I gathered my things and was waiting for Roxas when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and was surprised to see Axel standing behind me with a small smile on his face.

"Riku wanted me to give this to you," he muttered and held out a small piece of paper.

I took it carefully and stuck it in my pocket. "Thanks, I guess."

He nodded and left the room. I turned back to Roxas to see what he was doing. He was standing and watching me with a mixture of apprehension and confusion on his face. I could tell that he wanted to ask about what had happened, and that it was taking everything he had for him to keep his mouth shut.

I smiled at him sadly. "I'm just not ready to talk about. But I will come to you when I'm ready, okay?"

He sighed and nodded, smiling brightly. It was amazing how something so small could turn someone's mood around. We left the classroom and were almost to our separating point for our next classes when he finally spoke.

"Are you going to read the note or what?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. Should have known that was coming. We found a free corner and stopped so I could read it. I pulled the paper out of my pocket and made sure Roxas wasn't trying to read it over my shoulder before I finally let my eyes drift over it.

Meet me at the café downtown after school.
I'll be waiting for you. I want to see you.
-R

I finished the note and folded it and stuffed it back into my pocket. Roxas was watching me with a smile on his face.

"Well…"

I shrugged and started down the hallway for my next class.

"You really suck, I hope you know that!" he shouted after me.

I laughed and waved at Roxas over my shoulder as I turned a corner. My hand gravitated into my pocket and held the note tight. So he wanted to meet me so he could talk to me, huh? I laughed. I'd have to see how far that conversation could go before we started to argue (or make-out) like we did today. It would be interesting. Maybe we could make it to an all-time high and not argue (or make-out) at all.

I shook my head. Yeah right. If we didn't start arguing (or making-out) over something trivial within the first five minutes of seeing each other, it was going to be a miracle. Yet, for some unknown reason, I couldn't wait to see him again, and I knew that he was going to be the only thing in my head until we met again tomorrow afternoon.

TBC…
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A/N: Hurrah! Finally something to release the tension between Riku and Sora. ::sighs:: I really liked writing that scene. 'Twas fun...

To come:
Dates…costume shopping…the Pumpkin Festival and Halloween parties…Riku and Axel's secret is revealed…

Once again, thanks to you guys who left reviews. They're greatly appreciated! ::hugs you all::... I'll try my hardest to keep up-to-date, but as I said before, don't be surprised if I can't...

Ja mata ne!