Chapter 5: How do you work this thing?!?!?!

Well, I managed to get to the elevator, and get to grid kilo 39. I was greeted by a handful of zombies, which I greeted back the way I greeted my snobby neighbor,

I punched them in the face, and put in a snappy comeback.

"Your mama works at burger king"

I was about halfway there, when things started to fly around the room, and started to try to hit me, I took cover behind a really big…..thing, and hid there for awhile. Then the thing started to move, my guess was that it wasn't actually a box………

It got up, and stayed on all four, with lots of eyes, and, and a smile that could wreck a sign of a mirror. It was about to attack me, when the stuff around the room decided to move again…….and hit it in the head with four pounds of bricks, he died, although, he did twitch, forcing me to shoot randomly around. I made my way up to the ComSat, kind of hard to miss it with, it's the only room at the end of the hallway. I went in, and was attacked by more of those dog-like freaks, I managed to cut 2 down to size, but the third was saved when I ran out of ammo. I didn't have enough time to get another clip in, and found a disembodied arm, I picked it up.

"Here boy, go fetch!"

I threw the arm, and the dog-like thing went after it, and ran into the garbage disposal chute, "I hope that I don't get garbage duty after this". I finally managed to get to the console, and again, it looked like it was built by NASA.

"Hey, boss, I got a problem…..HOW DO YOU WORK THIS THING?!?!?!?!?!"

"Well, have you tried pressing the big red button?"

"Sir, there's three big red buttons."

"Well, what do they say?"

"Bad, worse, worse-er"

"O, well press the worser one."

"What?! Why?"

"I just want to see what happens, I never pressed that one, I pressed the bad one, and it shaved my poodle dog, the worse one shoved it into the garbage disposal."

"….Fine, can't be that bad…"

I pressed the button, and all the sudden, a timer appeared in mid-air with the words "time left till horrible tasting pizza gets here"

"Wha……."

Then another dog jumped me, and scratched me across the face, that's when I took my everlast flashlight, and hit him on the head with it. It backed up and I took my pistol, and shot it right through the neck.

"So, what happened?"

"Nothing, just a timer till horrible tasting pizza gets here"

"Oh No, It will probably be anchovies"

"Why?"

"Because I hate that pizza, and the world is out to get me!"

"YOU, what about me, having to fight through hell to save us?"

"Yeah, that's your job though"

I sighed, and then found the communication array, and sent out a communication to the nearest outpost.

"Man I hope that finds someone, now to find another arm to throw down the garbage disposal, that was funny last time!"

I went out the room.