Chapter 11: Allergies can be a real drag!
After about 3 more tries to find hell, I finally got there, and literally had to go through hell to get to the core of the problem. I also found a new enemy there, a fat guy with twin rockets for arms.
"Have you ever heard of the movie Super size me, because that's what's going into my mind right now!"
He shot at me, and apparently he failed his little demon firing school, because his aim sucked. I easily dodged him, and he personally got to meet my shotgun. I then went over a bridge that was above a boiling river of lava, through the land of lost souls, and finally past the vortex of bad TV reruns. Until finally I saw what I had come to kill. He had hooves for feet, and a cannon for an arm, and horns popping out his head, oh yeah, he was about the size of the empire state building back in 2003. He saw me, and just started at me for a second.
"Uhhh, excuse me for a second"
I walked over to the giant hole in the middle of the floor, and saw it was about a 23,000 foot drop into the lava.
"Hold one a few more seconds."
I started walking over to my spot I was before, and took out the bottle of perfume; I then tossed it in the air, and then threw it at him. He just laughed, and then he started to sniff the air, and started to sneeze uncontrollably, making his way to the giant hole.
"Allergies can be a real drag eh?"
He was on the verge of falling in, but I knew I didn't have enough strength to push him in, that's when I saw Mr. Fatty warming up his rockets, and I got an idea.
"Hey Mr. Fatty, c'mon see if you can squish me, that is if you have enough AIR to get over here without passing out!!!"
He got mad, and started running at me, and about halfway, he leaped high in the air. I rolled out of the way, and he hit the big guy, forcing them both into the lava. Then the entire place started to shake, I looked into the hole, and saw the lava rising. I made a mad sprint to the portal.
"Woooo, I shouldn't have had that much coffee."
I made it to the portal, got through, and barely managed to get it close in time before the lave came through. Then I made my way to the elevator.