A/N: Okay, sorry if some of this chapter gets confusing… but I am under some stress… I got the ACT this Saturday and I am nervous as all hell! I need to score a 23 or higher on this test or there is no way I am getting into the college of choice! So Wish me luck on that ACT! I have to get into Evergreen State, which is up in Olympia, WA… same kind of area as Forks!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon… they are Stephenie Meyers… and I do not own Dane Cook jokes either

Insanity

By: Alunamai

Chapter Nine:

She Did What

Edward POV

This is the most annoying job I have ever had in the entire hundred something years that I have been alive! 'Edward do this… Edward do that…' who the hell does she think she is? Jordania Renya is a tyrant!

"Of all the people that are in this club, you ask me! Why?" I demanded after she told me to go to the supermarket. She said we were out of something called… called… well for the life of me I can't remember it.

I was in the frozen food section checking out the frozen pizza's, something my Bella used to love! When I heard a familiar couple arguing over something. All I know is I hear mumbles and grumbles.

So I made my over to the next ailse to see what it was a about. I turn the corner and I see Concordia and Jacob arguing about the one of the most trivial things in the world. I could see Jacobs father not too far behind them either, shaking his head.

"I don't even care… I don't even care." Cori said in an uncaring sort of way.

"Care… what…"

So I say to myself… I so have to watch this! This is pure entertainment. Maybe now she'll see what he truly is… hopefully he can contain himself.

I was so excited that I left my cart. Which by the way, never do that. This is incase some one walks in and sees the stuff in it and it's exactly what they came to the store for… which I heard a second later… "JACK POT!"

"I asked you… do we have any jelly in the house?" Jacob demanded. "Do we or don't we have jelly in the house. You said we did last time… I'm looking around in the cabinets and I don't see any god damn jelly in the house. I just want to know if we have any jelly in the house!"

And Concordia is just egging him on. "I don't even like jelly… I don't even like jelly… I get hives if I even look at jelly… I don't know about jelly… I mean… what is jelly… I don't even care."

"I don't even give a damn about the hives! I want jelly in the fudging house…" fudging? "Stat, pronto, tonight… I don't… I will break your neck and pour jelly all over your body and pray to the GODS OF JELLY to burn your soul in a jelly like hell. Now GET the JELLY!"

I'm so excited I am eating the Entamins out of the box… don't worry… I paid for them. This is the point I decided to get involved. As their going back and forth I leaned in.

"Hey dude… dude… I know what your saying about the Jelly bro… tell this twat to get jelly… yeah… tell this twat to get jelly, now."

Edward, you're going to be murdered! Concordia thought.

"See, see, get the jelly now… what was that word… twat… good word, thanks bro, I forgot about that word… get the jelly twat! Great word, dude, great word… twat… yes!" I walked away slowly and turned the corner. I made my purchase and went back to the club.

-x-x-x-x-

Two Hours Later

"YOU!" I heard as Bella and I practiced our waltz on the stage. I turned around and staring me down was a very upset Concordia. "You are going to pay dearly, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! I have never been more embarrassed in my entire life!"

"Now seems like a good time to start." I took off from the stage and down to the dressing room under the stage… but she was faster. "Oh, we're pretty fast for a werewolf."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she lunged at me and I dodged her by a mere inch. I ran back up the stairs and ran out the door.

-x-x-x-x-

Esme POV

"King me." Aro announced proudly.

"We're playing chess, Aro." I said politely. "And it is I who has won."

"Well, so you…"

"AHHHHH! ESME SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME!" I heard Edward scream.

"EDWARD YOU COME BACK HERE AND GET WHAT IS JUSTLY YOURS!" at least it wasn't Bella.

Edward ran into the library and ran behind Aro and grabbed hold of his shoulders. Aro in turn started laughing like a maniac. Then he ended it with a

"Not the proper thing to have done… but that was classic." Men… I will never understand what goes through their small heads.

"Where is he?" Concordia came in. "When I find that bronze haired, hundred something… vampire… I am going to kill him!"

I pointed to behind Aro and she leapt toward him. I couldn't help but laugh… but it was hysterical.

"If you ever have another person call me a twat again… I swear it will be the last thing you ever do…. Edward Cullen!"

"Oh, but that was what you are, my dear." Edward said quickly. He then ran out the door and was locked down the hall in his room.

Concordia just stood there a couple of minutes with her fists clenched.

"This means war." She said in a very deadly calm voice. It was so icy that even I shivered.