A/N: Haha, Dane Cook sure can get a person laughing. Now, lets got to business

here! Theres one in this too, but not worded well, cause I am pulling it from memory.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon, Stephenie Meyer does. I again do not own Dane Cook Jokes.

Insanity

Chapter Ten

I am Not A Twat

Bella POV

Okay, now if I stay right here… and don't move… maybe she won't see me. I mean, what is the worst she could possibly do… hurt my ego. That was a wonderful shower we had there Bella… Bella, why are you laughing at me?

"Your hair... and your skin… it's blue…" I said. I had gotten out of the shower before he had and that was when he started to wash up and I was technically in there to put the dye in the shampoo and body wash. Concordia would be so proud.

"What?" He ran to the mirror and nearly had a coronary… if that were even possible. "Concordia… she is going down."

-x-x-x-x-

"Oh look, if it's not a little blue man." Rosalie snorted. "Are we a little down today Edward?"

"Shut up, Rose. Where is that little half breed?"

"At La Push… and I suggest you don't go down there… she is… trying the same thing on Jacob… oh have you seen Emmett and Jasper… they are about the same shade of blue… the four of you should do a show together."

"Not funny at all, Rose." And Edward walked out the door.

"So, how did you get the dye in the bottles with out him noticing.

"Lets just say he had a pleasure filled shower."

-x-x-x-x-

Concordia POV

Twelve hours later

The Club

"Okay, and we are done for the night! Now remember tomorrow is opening night and we need every one… Cullen, what is with the blue skin?" Jordania asked. She is just noticing this now. "We have a show tomorrow night and you come in with blue skin! Who DOES THAT?"

"I'll have you know that we had nothing to do with this! It was all…" everyone stopped and looked towards the door. I turned around and saw why. In the door way were four blue vampires… Aro, Caius, Marcus, and Carlisle. This was one of the more interesting parts of my day. Now where are my blue vampires?

"I must say, blue is quite my color… who did this?" Aro said happily. I raised my hand and every one just stared.

"I was upset with Edward and Jake and I decided to get revenge on them. I had nothing to do with every one else in the blue group… that was solely on Jason Landson."

"Well sorry if I want to have some fun in my free time. I was bored and since werewolf's sleep like the dead, it was quite easy for me to do it… my gift is stealth and invisibility!"

"Yes, we know." Regina, Omenzia, and myself answered.

"Well, lets get on home then. Except for the Blue boys… that includes you Carlisle."

-x-x-x-x-

I arrived at Jacob's and I find him in the kitchen… cleaning a dish. He's muttering to himself about lord knows what.

"Unbelieveable… unbelievable… UNBELIEVEBLE!" He yelled. I came up softly behind him.

"Do you need any help?" I asked the little blue werewolf.

"yeah," he said quietly.

"I don't mean to get you riled up or anything… but there was jelly right in this cabinet."

"yeah, I know that now!"

"And look at me, look at me." I moved his face towards mine. " I … am not a twat! If you ever call me a twat again… I swear to god…"

"I'm sorry." he said. He was sincere about it, I could tell. For I heard his father in the other room laughing about how his boy could be such an idiot at times.