Okay, The Long awaited next chapter in the Insanity story. I hope You all like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon, Stephenie Meyer does. I again do not own Dane Cook Jokes. (just in case!)

Insanity

By: Alunamai

Chapter Eleven

Helena Montgomery

Jordania POV

"Now, I have asked you men to stay because I have go to get pictures of this… this is too funny. It seems like Concordia has gotten her revenge you Edward… and the rest of you were just the by product of something Jason has been planning for a month now!" I couldn't control my laughter anymore. The scene before me was classic. How often do you get to see blue immortals? I mean honestly, how often?

"Jordania, why must you torture them?" Balthazar asked me.

"Why did your parents name you after a character in a Shakespeare play?"

"Because they were good friends with him and he requested that I be named after one of the characters. I was lucky and wasn't named Romeo… imagine what that would have been like."

"Okay, now boys, get together." I motioned with my hand for them to form a group. "That's it… EMMETT STOP THAT! NO ONE WANTS BUNNY EARS!" Emmett put his hand down and everyone grouped themselves according to age or acquaintance. So it was basically all the Cullen's together and the Volturi were together, so Carlisle was like the connection between the two groups.

"Now, smile." No body did. "I SAID SMILE!" at that all seven blue men smiled wide.

I went to take the picture and nothing happened. I looked at it and then tried again. Still, nothing happened. That was about the time Edward started laughing like a maniac.

"Did you break this camera?" I asked him.

"Maybe." A one-word answer.

"Edward, I am going to ask you again…."

"Maybe." He answered again. "Jordania, you forget that I can read minds. That and I move at a high speed. So you never saw it coming."

"You are not as funny as you think you are Mr. Cullen." I laughed. "You owe me a new camera."

x-x-x-x

Alice POV

One Day Later

Jasper and I sat in the living room watching Arsenic and Old Lace (a/n: it is a great black and white film, it's also a great read!) a favorite of mine. It was almost over and I knew what was coming up after the movie before Jasper could sense my excitement.

"Are we going shopping again?" Jasper asked quietly.

"Well of course we are. We will be going with Helena Montgomery." I leaned into his arms and he kissed the top of my head.

"Have I ever told you that I love you?"

"With all your heart and soul and that there is nothing in this world that could change that." I laughed quietly. "I love you, too, Jasper Whitlock."

"The same goes to you Mrs. Whitlock." I loved it when he said that. We always referred to one another that way, when at home. Rosalie and Emmett referred to themselves as the McCartys or the Hales when they lived on their own. The only exception to the rule was Edward and Bella. Though they are not married yet, you can often catch Edward calling up to Mrs. Bella Cullen. Or as he likes to say it… Mrs. Isabella Cullen.

"I'm just happy the dye is gone." Jasper said mostly to himself.

"Oh, you made a very cute blue vampire." I chuckled.

"Excuse me?" We turned around to look at the owner of the voice. A girl, no taller than myself, stood there. She had to have been about eighteen when she was changed. She had very long jet-black hair, wide almond shaped eyes, she had the beauty (very similar to that of Rosalie), and a heart shaped face, which resembled that of Esmes'. Her skin color was the same as ours only with a dark olive undertone. "Your Alice and Jasper, right?" she also had an Indian accent.

"Yes we are." Jasper looked up at her. Then I felt a wave of confidence go through the air. How long has she been staying here? A week, maybe two at the most.

"I'm Helena Montgomery." She introduced herself and put her hand out. I took it and pulled her into a hug.

"It's nice to finally meet you." I said in a happy tone.

"I'm sorry. I've been here two weeks and I didn't bother saying a word to any one soul except for my siblings… my sisters." She said quietly. "I had to assess the people around me to figure out who I would be able to be around without an emotional overload… actually, it really doesn't matter when everyone is in one room. My mother and Esme suggested that I get to know the two of you."

"Well, I don't see a problem with that." Jasper smiled reassuring Helena of her choice to listen to Raja and Esme.

I sat up and made room on the couch for to sit and she did obligingly. I turned towards her and we started chit chatting about things.

"So I have to ask, where are you from?" I asked after about twenty minutes.

"New Delhi, India. My parents are technically from England… well, my father is British and my mother is Indian, her father was an ambassador from India to the King of England at that time. Any ways, my parents are insane lunatics who actually enjoy driving me up the wall. Every time I turn around they are at each others throats." She laughed a moment. "They ignore the fact that every emotion they feel I feel and I have control over those emotions. I have spent over half a century trying to get those two to work things out… I have only now given up." She sank back into the beige couch and sighed. "They absolutely loath each other… they only work things out for us. It's stupid really, why can't they have the relationship Carlisle and Esme have… or you two… or any one of the couples in this place at the moment."

"Is it really that bad?" Jasper asked.

"They think I can't control my emotions… it is them who make me that way. I left in 1901 to stay with my grandmother in India. Needless to say they hunted me down and dragged me back to England. In 1920, they had another huge blow up and I again went to India. I returned to my mother in 1950, in Volterra.

"And now I want some friends… other than that of my brother, Andrew. He doesn't speak to our parents. He will to anyone else… unless my parents are in ear shot…so for he and I it is basically a complete mind conversation. I am multitalented. Mind Reader, can control emotions, and I have an aversion to human blood… it smells disgusting to me. I am a freak… I know!"

I had to laugh at that. She was certainly fun to be around. Jasper laughed a little.

"Oh, and I am talented in other ways two… I can play piano very well, I can sing, and I have a knack for art. I am the fastest in running and I am a fashonista! I love to shop."

"So does this one and Rosalie." Jasper said quietly. I smacked his arm playfully and then turned my attention to Helena.

"How about we get out of this house?" I suggested.

"Where is the nearest mall?"

"Well, Port Angeles is quite limited and I want to go to Dolce and Gabbana… hold on one second." I needed to check the whether in Beverly Hills for tomorrow. How odd, it was going to be a rainy day… all day… wait a minute… the last two weeks have been quite sunny… ever since she arrived here. "You can control the whether can't you?"

"Yes, I can. So, how about Rodeo Drive?"

"But of course." I stood up and pulled my husband up with me. I turned to him. "Jasper, my dear."

"Yes, Alice?" He lifted me off the ground so that my eyes were level with his. I carressed his cheek and stared him down.

"Can we stay at the Roosevelt on Hollywood Boulivard?"

"Hmm." He managed before I kissed him already knowing his answer.

"Edward, Bella, want to go with us to Los Angeles?" I asked in a normal voice knowing they could hear me.

"A little busy." Was all I heard from them… of course they would be… their not even married yet.

"We need to find someone to join… Oh Rosalie…" I didn't need to go any further than that. She was before us completely packed and ready to go. "Rosalie this is Helena. She'll be your room mate for this trip."

"Very pleased to meet you." Okay, that was… unusual. Oh, well.