A/N: once again, thanks for the reviews. If this is a bit all-over-the-place, let me know. I was quite tired when I started this chapter and Randi just would not shut up. Enjoy!

Chapter 17

"What's this?" Randi asked, staring at the odd-shaped amethyst and moonstone pendant Angel was dangling on a chain in front of her. The polished amethyst was teardrop shaped with the wide end up. A small, round polished moonstone sat on top of the wide end and sterling silver edged both stones.

"It's the Mother Goddess and it got me through some tough times. It was a gift from my nana after I joined the coven. When things got tough in my life, I found comfort in it," Angel explained. "And, knowing you're going through a tough time right now, as a friend, I'm giving it to you." She took her boss's hand and wrapped her fingers around the pendant. "May you find the comfort and strength that I found in it." With that, she smiled, straightened up, and walked away, leaving Randi alone with her thoughts.

Knees drawn up, the fabric of her long light blue wool skirt spread around her, Randi stared at the pendant in her hands and she swore she felt a warm, soothing heat coming from it. A tear slid down her face. She was under her desk at Back In Time, having decided she didn't want to go in to the NYPD today. It was stupid and childish to be hiding under her desk, but she didn't care. She just wanted to hide from the world for a while.

Angel was right; her life was a mess. Things had been so good over the last couple of days and then, yesterday, her world had come crashing down around her ears. Stewart was suing her for defamation by slander, Catherine was spreading some very vicious rumors that were causing trouble with her more prestige clients, and her relationship with Mac was in jeopardy. Of all the things she was worried about, however, it was her relationship with Mac.

She needed him, desperately. He was like her rock, stable, steady, and strong, and because of her own stupid fears, she'd pushed him away when she needed him the most.

About two days ago, Mac had gotten word of Catherine's behavior and apparently gone straight to the senior Wilcox's. It seemed Mac had a few connections of his own and was known to them. He had told them about Catherine's behavior and strongly advised that they get their eldest daughter under control or he would be making it well known about exactly what was going on. The Wilcox's weren't the only ones with connections.

When Randi found out, she'd blown. In her eyes, Mac was trying to take control of her life and she'd accused him of doing exactly that. He'd tried telling her that he simply had weapons she didn't, that he saw things differently than she did because Catherine wasn't his sister, just a vindictive woman with a bad attitude problem, and he'd dealt with the problem directly, just like a cop, once he'd discovered Catherine lived off of her parents. He'd done what he'd done because he cared, not because he was trying to take control of her life. Hell, he wanted to be part of her life.

But Randi hadn't seen that; she'd been too upset at what she perceived as an attempt to take over her life. She was used to dealing with her problems on her own, especially with her family, and had fought long and hard to create her own independence. She'd left him, angry, hurt, and not sure if she wanted the relationship to continue.

Then, later that day, after the argument with Mac, when she'd been at the office, trying to clear her head, a court clerk had shown up and had served her notice that one Stewart Telmore, her former business manager, was suing her. He was accusing her of defamation by slander and was asking for fifteen grand. Paul, her lawyer, had freaked when he'd found out. A meeting between Paul, her, Stewart, and his lawyer, earlier today had resulted in Stewart suggesting that if she paid the fifteen grand now, if they settled this out of court, he would drop the matter. If she didn't, he would drag her name through the courts and her name would be mud by the time he was finished.

The only thing that was going right was the storage room at the NYPD. Thanks to Sergeant Belross, an officer about two months away from retirement, they'd made a significant dent in the junk and the case files they'd found. Randi estimated that about only a quarter of the storage room contents had any real value in terms of antiques. The case files had been removed and anything older than fifty years had been destroyed. Belross had been a joy to work with, reminding her of one of her favorite uncles. He had enjoyed the friendly flirting from Candy, who'd played it up every chance she got, knowing it was a joke between them, and he'd loved the dogs. He'd discussed religion with Angel and history with Randi and between them, had gotten the case files sorted out and dealt with in record time.

But to Randi, none of that mattered right now.

Randi and Mac had talked a lot and touched on a lot of different subjects, but one of the things they hadn't talked about was what they should have talked about; what they were afraid of in terms of relationships. She hadn't told Mac about her fears. She was afraid of losing her hard-earned independence, of becoming dependent on him to fix her problems. She was afraid of relinquishing control to him because she was afraid of never getting that control back. Mac was very much a leader and she wasn't. She preferred to think of herself as an individualist, a person who walked her own path regardless of what other people thought.

Funny enough, it was Candy who'd set her straight on the control issue when Randi had told her about the argument between her and Mac.

After the meeting with Stewart and their respective lawyers, Randi had gone back to the office and crawled under the desk, taking a polar fleece blanket with her. Fabio had joined her and cuddled up to her, sensing something wasn't right with his lady. That was where Candy and Angel had found her fifteen minutes later.

"Sugar, in a relationship, it shouldn't be about who controls who. It should be about sharing, about playing up each other's strengths and supporting each other's weaknesses. It sounds to me like Mac knew your weakness was your family, which you had trouble standing up to, especially in regards to your sister, and he wasn't afraid of them. Being a cop, he deals with people like Beyatch Girl all the time. He ain't afraid of her and he ain't afraid of your parents," Candy explained, having crawled under her desk and sitting next to her. "He was trying, in his own crazy way, to help you and to show you he supports you. Otherwise, he would've let you deal with this crapola on your own and simply offer you a sympathetic ear at the most." She put her arm around Randi and said, "His strength is that he's not afraid of your family. Your strength is that you're not afraid of him. He supports you with your family and you support him with his work, especially when he gets too involved."

"I'm afraid," Randi had admitted. "I'm so in love with him it's not funny. I'm afraid if I give him control, if I let him have complete control, I won't have anything left to hold on to, that I'll lose my independence."

"It's not about control, honey, it's about trust. If you truly love Mac, then you need to trust that he won't hurt you, that he won't try and take over your life if you let him help you with a few things. There's no shame in letting someone help you, no shame in leaning on someone for a while. The shame comes when you become dependent on that person and you don't strike me as being that kind of person," Candy said. "Even the strong need to lean on someone once in a while."

Randi knew she and Mac needed to talk because, deep down inside, she wasn't ready to let go of him yet. She just didn't know how. The issue of control and trust were her problems and she was going to have to deal with them if she wanted to keep Mac in her life and heaven knew she did.

In her hand, the stones seemed to pulse, like a heartbeat. It was soothing and steady and, funny enough, warm. Comforting.

Randi didn't really know if there was such thing as a Goddess, like what Angel believed in, and she didn't know if a Goddess would even hear her but something made her want to try. And, slowly but surely, everything tumbled out. All her hopes. All her fears. Everything. The tears came again but that was okay; they were healing tears. The laughter and the snickers from memories that were funny, that came too.

After a long while, she stopped talking and something funny happened; it felt like someone had put their arms around her shoulders and just told her that everything was going to be okay.

The next day, after a long, hot shower and a good rest, Randi felt more clear-headed. She had woken up knowing precisely what needed to be done and how to go about doing it. It was like her brain and her heart had finally caught up to each other and worked a few things out. The first order of business for the day was to get her relationship with Mac back on par. Then she was going to talk to Paul and see what they could do about Stewart.

Deciding she wanted to look professional but soft and sexy, she chose a red stretch velvet blazer and matching pants from Victoria's Secret, and a soft lavender form-fitting, textured sweater with a deep v-neckline. On her feet were glittering silver ankle-boots. They were from the same company that had made her turquoise-colored boots and, admitting to a weakness, she practically had one pair in every color they sold.

Her hair up in a sexy twist she knew Mac liked, silver cubic zirconium earrings to compliment her boots, make-up done properly, and a spritz of her favorite perfume, Randi felt ready to get her life back on track. Just for a bit of luck, however, she tucked Angel's pendant in her blazer pocket.

After paying a visit to a certain store, she headed to the NYPD with a cup of coffee for bribery for Davey.

Davey was quite happy to accept the little bribe and directed her to Flack, who told her where she could find Mac. Turned out he was in one of the labs.

"Mac?" Randi called, stepping into the lab cautiously. There were all kinds of equipment in the labs and, with her luck around things like that, she tended to be very careful, not wanting to accidentally blow up an expensive piece of lab equipment.

Mac was nowhere in sight. Something rustled and she froze. Something felt wrong; she could feel it in her bones. Cautiously, she looked around the room. Nothing seemed out of place.

Then something cold and strange touched her cheek.

She froze again.

A slim, dark-colored, forked tongue darted next to her face.

Eyes going wide, breathing increasing, and heart-rate picking up rapidly, Randi slowly turned her head….