Chapter 5: Stupid Boy Crush
Dinner came and went, and Touya headed up to his room. Yukito followed him, of course, and sat on Touya's bed, working on his math homework while Touya studied his lines. There was one positive side to being in the school play, and that was that the teachers didn't give him homework.
Yukito finally paused and looked over at Touya after about an hour and a half. "Um… To-ya?" He asked.
He looked over his shoulder at Yukito. "What?"
"You… did a good job today…" He said, "when you were rehearsing with your sister's friends and her."
"I guess so," He replied, knowing where this was going.
"Why can't you do that on stage, To-ya?" He asked. "When you're up there it's so plain."
"I already told you. I can't act with Akizuki."
"but To-ya! I watch you recite those lines in your living room and in this room, and I see you filled with such passion that my heart swells, and I want to fall to my knees and cry!" He exclaimed.
"You're… over exaggerating," Touya pointed out.
"Yeah, I know," Yukito replied, "but my feelings really get that intense sometimes! You are Romeo, To-ya, but you won't show it when you're on the stage!"
"How many times must I say this-"
"It doesn't matter who you act with To-ya!" He shouted, finally frustrated to the point of being fed-up. "It's acting, and I would have told the teachers to find someone else to play Romeo-"
"Well, why didn't you?"
"-if!" He exclaimed, not finished. "If… I didn't know that you were the best one for the part… I've seen you do amazingly with my own eyes… Why should I be so special as to be the only audience member that sees you shine as brightly as you could in front of others?"
Touya found his cheeks warming at the loving way Yukito was staring at him. There might have even been tears in the snow bunny's eyes.
Touya lowered his eyes, starting to feel shameful. "I… I guess I just… feel so much more… enthusiasm… when I'm with you…" Seeing Yukito watch him curiously, he quickly added, "and Sakura and her friends."
Yukito sighed. "Then, why don't you just pretend you're in your living room with us?"
Touya shook his head. "You don't understand."
"That's because you never let anyone in on what you're really thinking," Yukito said dejectedly, shoving his books into his bag. "I'm going home. See you tomorrow."
The door shut quietly behind him.
Stupid, stupid TOUYA!!! Touya yelled inside his head. I made him mad!!! I made him leave… Damn you, Touya, DAMN YOU…He exhaled through his nose, pouting. I know I hurt him… He wouldn't have spoken so dismally if I didn't…but it's not as if I CAN let him know what I'm really thinking! My thoughts are caught up in this dumb… boy crush! ARGH! I assumed I was straight when I loved Kaho! Nothing prepared me for this! Plus, what if Yuki is straight? If I told him the truth, he'd never speak to me again because it'd be awkward!!!!!!! He slammed his head down on the desk.
After a few minutes of calming down, he tried to gather his thoughts together. "It's not as if I'm desperately in love or anything… It's just a little schoolboy crush. Everyone gets them, and they're never serious. I mean, Yuki's the only person I hang around with really, so naturally I'm going to develop some feelings like this but…" He blushed as thoughts of them together crept into his mind. "AHH! I'm blushing!"
A soft knock on the door silenced him. After a moment, the door opened, and Sakura peeked in. "Um… Touya… are you okay? I heard you yelling. Are you angry or something?"
"Uh… just going over lines… getting… frustrated…" He lied about everything but the frustration. "Don't worry about it."
"Um… Okay," She said, unsure. "Well… if you need anything, I'll be happy to help…"
She left.
Sweet little Sakura, always willing to give whatever it took to help out. He'd give her the world if that stupid little China brat hadn't gotten to her first… It was too bad she was too young to understand and what he needed was a miracle.
-
Just as Touya had expected, Yukito wasn't waiting for him on his way to school the next morning. He sighed, and continued on his way to school.
Once he had arrived, he caught sight of Yukito, sitting in his desk while pulling his notebook out of his briefcase.
Fearing the worst, he approached. "Yuki…"
He looked up without a smile, much unlike he usually did. "To-ya…" He said, looking back down at his notebook. There was a chilly silence.
"Look," Touya finally said, slamming his hand onto the desk. "You're not all that involved in this play, so stop hating me and just forget it!"
"I'm not hating you," Yukito replied quietly, not looking up. "I'm just… disappointed…"
Touya's shoulders slumped a bit. "Disappointed?"
"Yes," He replied. "I know you're so much better than you think you are, but you don't put forth the effort to try."
"Yuki… Why do you concern yourself with me? Just because…"
"There isn't any question as to why!" He exclaimed, finally looking up. "I want you to be your best. I want to watch you shine because I know how you deserve it! You're just so afraid for people to see you on your own… and I don't know why… I can't understand why you always have to be working in the shadows…"
Touya was silent. Oh, if only he knew that he was a little off… well, not really, but it was because he wanted Sakura and Yuki and maybe even the China brat (not really…) to shine. Why should he be the one to rob them of their places? He always felt uncomfortable with everyone looking at him anyways… but… Yuki's happiness meant a lot to him… should he be so stubborn and not allow him happiness?
"Yuki… I… I'm sorry… I'll do better, I promise…" He sighed, defeated. Oh, how the boy could sway him.
Silence.
"STOP STARING AT US!" Touya yelled at the other students who quickly looked away. "Jeez, haven't they seen two friends make up before?"
Yukito snickered. "To-ya… You're so silly. You get all serious and you never have any fun with your life."
"You're not as disappointed, are you?" He asked, smiling.
"Just saying it won't prove it to me. You have to show me," He replied, grinning.
Touya grumbled, taking his own seat. "Jeez. Can't even have my word? Where's the trust?"
-
Touya sat across from Yukito at lunch, staring out the window. His thoughts were still settled on his recent discoveries, mainly his stupid boy-crush on Yukito. There was no way it was anything serious… of course it wasn't!! Yet, he couldn't help but worry. If only he could figure out what to do, but the only one he could ask was Yuki, and that was pointless, unless he found some roundabout way of doing it… and Yukito was so roundabout by himself that he'd probably immediately catch on… There was no way in dancing around a subject like that… no… the only way he could was to lie and say that he had a thing for someone else, and then Yuki would play matchmaker with this other person, and he'd have to deal with her for a few weeks before breaking up with her and blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH!
There was no way he was asking Yuki his advice. How troublesome…
"To-ya…"
"WHAT?!" He shouted, startled.
Yukito blinked, unconsciously scooting backwards from his outburst. "Um… you seem… tense… You're twitching…"
"I'm fine," Touya replied unconvincingly.
"Is there something you wanna talk about?"
"NO!… I mean… no. I'm fine. There's nothing to talk about, heh…" Well, aren't you doing a bang-up job!
"Are you sure you're all right?"
"I'm… fine… finer than fine, I promise," Touya plastered on his best fake smile.
"o…kay…" Yukito shrugged. "Fine, don't tell me."
Touya sighed, leaning his cheek on his fist. Silence…
"To-ya."
"Nothing's wrong!"
"No… You have some food on your cheek."
"Ah… oh…" Touya wiped his face with his napkin. I just need to shut up. I can't keep this up. Oh, man, Yuki…what am I gonna do with you?
This boy crush was going to be the end of him, he swore.
-
"To-ya…"
Touya stared up at Yukito. Why did he have rabbit ears?
"To-ya," He said again.
"What?" Touya asked.
"I love you."
"WOAH!" Touya exclaimed, raising up in a hurry. His heart pounded against his chest as his eyes roamed wildly through the dark. "Woah… it was… just a dream…"
He ran a hand through his spiky dark hair and sighed in frustration. Stupid boy crush.
He laid back down and moaned, glaring at the ceiling. In boredom, he slowly started reciting some lines from the play.
"Let me be ta'en, let me be put to death; I am content, so thou wilt have it so. I'll say yon gray is not the morning's eye, 'tis but the pale reflex of Cynthia's brow; nor that is not the lark, whose notes do beat the vaulty heaven so high above our heads: I have more care to stay than will to go: Come death and welcome! Juliet wills it so. How is't, my soul? Let's talk; it is not day."
He sighed again, hearing Yukito's voice echoing in his head, the next lines. "It is, it is: hie hence, be gone, away!"
Touya grumbled, rolling over on his side. Yukito was haunting him like the ghosts he used to see. He wished that he could talk to someone who would understand… but Sakura would just blink and wonder what he meant, and his dad would just smile and nod his head… So very troublesome…
A sudden buzzing alarmed him, and Touya discovered that he had dozed off to sleep again and awakened by the sound of his alarm. He beat the clock into submission and clambered out of bed. After all, it was his turn to make breakfast.
-
"Onii-chan," Sakura said, staring up at him with her innocent eyes. "What are we having?"
"Waffles," Touya responded.
"Oh, I love waffles!" Tomoyo, who had stayed over for the night, exclaimed.
Touya nodded, turning the waffle cooker and reciting into the air, "If I may trust the flattering truth of sleep, my dreams presage some joyful news at hand: My bosom's lord sits lightly in his throne; and all this day an unaccustomed spirit lifts me above the ground with cheerful thoughts. I dreamt my lady came and found me dead-- strange dream, that gives a dead man leave to think!-- and ah…"
"And breathed such life with kisses in my lips," Tomoyo stated.
"Ah…" Touya stammered. "What? How'd you…"
"It's a line you stumble on a lot," Tomoyo replied with a smile.
"Oh, uh… right… that line…" He blushed. Anything romantic has been getting me flustered…why does this play have to be so amorous?
Tomoyo just continued smiling. "You can flip those again."
"Right," Touya said, doing so.
"Your brother seems a bit distracted this morning, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo whispered.
"I know. He's been like that for awhile. I wonder what's the matter."
Touya twitched. I can hear them…