Author's Note: I have so much work to do... And no merciful teacher upon which to rely. I'm not supposed to have to work in my senior year. Now that my calculus is done, let me help you find the volume of that space enclosed by Y1, Y2, and Y3 rotating around Y4 for you...

And to the one they call Tweedle Dumbass: your review is an invaluable asset. But honestly, aren't you trying a bit too hard? You don't earn respect from a reader by spouting random nonsense, contrary to what many would have you believe. Everyone, you should leave your reviews in the form of feedback, not feedback enclosed in "hey, pay attention to me!" It makes the world a better place.

The Countdown to Imminent Doom:
Ganondorf's Story
Chapter 3: The Last Prologue

"DAMN IT!" cursed Ganondorf, still riding on a transformed Inky, "I was supposed to remember something about that kid!" He waved his fist in the air, "But WHAT? Tell me, Inky... Tell me..."

"I've decided something," Inky told him.

"What's that?"

"I hate you!"

Ganondorf sobbed, "You can't leave me! What will I do? Who will I turn to when I need a shoulder to cry on? WHO WILL DO MY LAUNDRY!"

"You're just going to have to find someone else," Inky told him, unswayed.

"There is no one else in my life, Inky. Only you!"

"I SMELL A LIE!" Inky accused.

Ganondorf immediately stopped crying. "Yeah... I know... But you're still ONE of the people in my life!" he assured him.

"I think it's best if we're just friends."

"You mean... I can't ride you anymore?" Ganondorf ventured, afraid.

"In both senses, yes."

"But who will I molest?" pressed the desperate Gerudo, "Now that the princess is gone, all my chances of daily molestation are NIL!"

"What about that kid?"

"I REFUSE TO HIT ON A KID!" exclaimed Ganondorf.

"I thought you said he was cute?"

"I SAID NO SUCH THING!" Ganondorf sobbed.

"You should go and talk to him. Y'know, explain your feelings," Inky offered, "I'm sorry, but I can't hang around you anymore. All the other moblins make fun of me." He turned and slowly walked away.

Ganondorf wiped away a tear and turned back to the castle, "Fine. I guess I'll go see if Link can forgive me..."

At this point, a violinist took pity on Ganondorf and began playing a very sad song.

"Now that I have no one left," Ganondorf mourned, "I can only hope I can set things straight in the world... All my hopes and ambitions have been shattered. My dreams are gone, my friends have left me to be minions for other villains, and now my lover has decided I'm not cool. WOE IS ME!"

The music stopped.

"HEY!" Ganondorf barked.

The music started up again.

Ganondorf continued. "When I was a young green thing, I didn't know if I'd ever make it. I didn't think I was good enough to be a bad guy. All the other villains at the Evil Academy made fun of me because of my greenish qualities... Even young Sephiroth, who had that giant pimple on his eyeball, was considered cooler and more evil than I. HE VISITED HIS MOTHER EVERYDAY, FOR DIN'S SAKE! THAT'S NOT VERY EVIL!"

The music began to slowly fade out.

"I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'M DONE, DAMN IT!"

The music played once more.

"Even at the bottom of my class, though, I still kept at it. I knew if I worked hard enough, and destroyed enough peoples' lives, I could one day be as evil... As evil as Master Carrot Top himself! I always wished he would think I was special and take me aside for secret Evil Lessons, like it always happens in the movies, but I was too GOOD for him!"

The violinist began to tire, and the notes wavered.

"DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE!" Ganondorf shook his fist,"Now… Oh, yes... But I MADE IT! I worked myself to the very core, and became evil and whatnot! I achieved my goal! Then, by chance, I got stuck in Hyrule when I drew the short straw. That Moony bastard and his lovechild, Skull Kid, got Termina, which I specifically asked for! IT WAS SO UNFAIR!"

At this point, Ganondorf realized he had arrived at the Temple of Time. "HOW CONVENIENT! I do hope Link will forgive me for my horrible ways!"

Link, a few yards ahead of Ganondorf, opened the Door of Time and stepped inside.

"Wait, Link!" Ganondorf trotted to catch up with him, and stopped at the Door of Time, "Oh..."

CUE FLASHBACK!

We see a young Ganondorf in a classroom, apparently after school. He has been cornered by a group of 3 kids his age, who are taunting him. A young Ganondorf whimpers.

Magus scoffs and poses, "You are SO not evil! Ha, ha!"

Sephiroth joined in, "Totally not evil, yo."

Knives stepped forward, "Humans are so pathetic."

Magus and Sephiroth look to Knives, annoyed.

Knives backtracks, "I mean... You'll never be evil enough to transform into a giant demon-pig, or anything. You're too damn pathetic. I mean, the ONLY way you'd ever be evil enough to do that is if you were to somehow claim possession of some embodiment of power in the shape of a triangle left behind by ancient Goddesses! AND THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN! PATHETIC HUMAN! HA HA, HAAA!"

Magus throws Knives out of the circle of kids chiding Young Ganondorf.

Knives sulks away, muttering something about lives being insignificant.

The young Ganondorf puffed out his chest, "Oh, yeah? You'll see! YOU'LL ALL SEE! Some day, I'll be more evil than ALL OF YOU! And I'm gonna find that physical embodiment of power left behind my ancient goddesses! AND THEN I'M GONNA HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU PAY! Oh, you'll pay... DEARLY! JUST YOU WAIT!"

END FLASHBACK!

Ganondorf steadied himself, "I see now... It all makes sense. This was destiny! It's my chance to shine! YES! YES, I WANT TO BE EVIL! YES! IT IS MY... DESTINY!" He took a step forward.

Link turned and gasped, because he had been much to distracted by walking through the doorway to hear Ganondorf chase after him and talk to himself.

Ganondorf seized the opportunity, "YES! FINALLY! ULTIMATE POWER IS MINE!" He grabbed the Triforce, which split in three, "Eek! I think I broke it!"

The Triforce of Power pierced Ganondorf's chest; the other two pieces fly off out of sight.

"Oh yeah! THAT FEELS GOOD!" Ganondorf laughed, "YES! This power feels so good! SO GOOD! YES! THIS IS BETTER THAN SEX! Well, no... Maybe notthat good... But it is good... But now I must test out my powers!"

Link let out a snore.

"Let's see," pondered Ganondorf, "Where to start..."

Chapter Three: End