"You and Alicia, eh? I knew it would work. You ended up with one of my brunettes after all."

"I didn't 'end up with her,' and nothing worked. It was just lunch."

"But you've shagged her. More than once."

"So?"

"For you, that usually means you've ended up with her, at least for a bit. I'm fairly certain she thinks that's what it means."

"Well, I'm positive she doesn't. And I think I'd know better than you."

"But you've been—"

"Fred, stop. It's not a relationship, and it never will be. She and I both know that perfectly well, and that's the way we want it."

"All right, fine. You must be a pretty good shag then, if she keeps coming back for more."

"Would you sod off?"

"No."

"It's not like that."

"Okay then, if that's the way you want it, I'm sure you're a terrible shag."

"It's just . . . not like that."

"Really, I think it's a good thing. You need to get out a bit more. And Alicia's a good friend, she fits in well. And you know she's wanted you for years."

"She's wanted one of us for years. It's only me because you're off limits."

"Whatever. And even if she is a brunette, I think you could make it work. You should stay with her."

"I can't."