Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. Author's Notes: My friend and I got to talking and we wondered what the pilots Christmas letters to Santa would look like and then VIOLA! This was born from the mayhem. Never mind the fact that they all probably don't believe in Santa. Let us fan girls have our moments, thank you.

Warnings: Major stupidity! Christmas cheer. Minor mild language. Author probably drunk on eggnog but that's what makes things fun anyways.

'On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Two off-key carolers'

Duo groaned and shut his eyes tighter, turning his face into the pillow. Whoever was trying to nudge him awake obviously didn't know him well enough. Duo needed at least 13 hours of sleep if he was to think and function properly. And rule #1 for living with Duo: Do NOT bother the God of Death before he's had his daily dose of caffine .

Duo mumbled something unintelligible into the pillow and slipped a hand under the pillow to wrap his fingers around the trigger of a gun hidden beneath it. He decided to give whoever it was two more seconds before he started to shoot.

As if his assailant knew exactly what Duo was planning, the insistent hands that had been nudging his shoulder drew away.

Duo just smiled to himself. Finally, some peace. The braided pilot nuzzled into the nice warm pillow and waited for sleep to once again to wash over him, not caring enough or lucid enough to think to check who it was that was trying to wake him and why.

Just as Duo was finally drifting back to sleep, he leaped from the bed, yelping from the sudden cold that had shocked him awake. Apparently, whomever had been trying to wake him had decided to attempt different tactics. Duo glared across his room at Quatre, who was standing at the foot of his bed, holding Duo's blankets and grinning at Duo as if he hadn't just ripped all the covers off of Duo and torn him from his sleep.

Duo momentarily considered walking back to his bed, grabbing the gun, and filling the blond pilot with lead, but that idea was cast away due to Duo's need to behave in honor of Christmas. Plus, Duo was too cold to fire a gun. The black, silk boxers he was wearing did absolutely nothing to keep out the cold. Grumbling his discontent, Duo walked around the room, picking up clothes off the floor where they had been disgaurded.

Through Duo's changing process Quatre didn't say a word and merely watched Duo walk around the room with an expectant look on his face. The only change in Quatre's happy demeanor was a slight cringe as he saw Duo picking dirty clothes up off the floor and wearing them.

Duo glanced at Quatre out of the corner of his eye as he pulled on a black pair of jeans. "In case no one's told you, don't wake me up before 12:00pm." Duo informed Quatre with an unhappy tone to his voice but the crankiness that he normally felt right after waking up was mostly gone.

Quatre looked over at Duo with a confused expression and then to the digital clock on Duo's nightstand. The neon green numbers flashed '1:12pm' at him. Quatre then directed his attention back to Duo. "But it's 1:12pm," Quatre said in a concerned voice.

"Mere technicallity," Duo huffed in response and finally got the pants secured around his waist. "So what brings you into my humble living space anyway?" Duo asked while pulling a deep blue shirt over his head.

"Well, two things really. Wufei said that you were the best at hacking into computers."

Duo beemed from the compliment, grinning happily. "Well that is definitely true, but quit beating around the bush. I hate it when people do that."

Quatre ducked his head and shuffled his feet. "Well, do you remember how Heero was on the lookout for wayward, spying elves?"

"Yes. What about it?" Duo asked with a growing sense of dread. He just hoped that explosives weren't involved this time.

"Well, he's installed a security system."

"So? How's that bad and why does that require my amazing ability with electronics."

"He attached a lock to every door in the house and to unlock them you need to input a code into the key pad."

"Why not just ask Heero for the code?" Duo asked, becoming annoyed with Quatre for waking him up so 'early' when it could have easily been avoided.

Quatre scowled at Duo for the annoyed look Duo was sending him. It wasn't his fault that Heero thought elves were out to get him. "I can't ask Heero because he put lock on every door." Quatre responded, unhappily.

Well, if Duo wasn't fully awake before, he certainly was then. Duo's head snapped towards the door as he finally got what Quatre was saying. His mouth opened slightly as he struggled to find the words to express the mounting dread that he was feeling.

"So you mean-?"

"Yup."

"And we're-?"

"Uh-huh."

"And Heero-"

"Correct."

"...Damn."

"Yeah."

"Wait. Then how did you get in here if Heero put a lock on my door?" Duo asked curiously.

"Your door didn't have a lock yet when I came to wake you up, but you took so long to wake that Heero put a lock on while I was in here without me realizing." Quatre replied, shooting Duo a look as if to say that this was all his fault. And technically it was.

Duo looked around the room, trying to find a possible escape route. For safety reasons there were no windows in the bedrooms, so breaking a window to the outside wasn't an option. Spiking the door lock would be basically impossible from inside the room. And Heero wasn't very likely to let him out, especially since Duo had called him a spandex wearing robot two days before. But really, he had deserved it. "I Spy" was a great game and Heero didn't have to go so far as to call it a 'childish and infantile waste of time and thought'.

Duo sighed and walked over to a computer chair that was by the desk. He dragged the rolling chair directly across from the door on the opposite side of the room. He then positioned the chair with the seat of the chair facing away from him and propped his foot up on the seat of the chair. Quatre, already having guessed what Duo was planning to try, stepped off to the side and watched Duo anxiously.

With a grunt, Duo pushed the chair off and sent it rolling towards the door. With a loud crash the chair collided with the door and spun off to the side.

Duo walked over to the door to inspect the damage.

Yep.

It was just as Duo had suspected. Shoving the chair into the door was really just him trying to see if Lady Luck still loved him, it really had nothing to do with trying to break the door. He already knew it wouldn't work. For the same reason that none of the bedrooms had windows, all of the doors were made from a thick, damage resistant metal that was only encased in wood to make it appear to be ordinary. It would take nothing short of twenty pounds of explosives to break down that door.

Apparently, good ol' Lady Luck had found someone else to be her lover. She had obviously left Duo to fend for himself.

With a loud sigh Duo turned away from the undamaged door and turned towards Quatre. "So, it looks like we could be in here a while."

Quatre groaned and flopped ungracefully to the floor. " I was afraid you would say that. So what do we do now?"

Duo walked over and took a seat next to Quatre on the floor. "Well you mentioned that you came in here for two things?"

"Oh yeah!" Quatre shouted, the bright smile again returning to his face, "You said yesterday that we can't learn anything more about the Christmas traditions until today. And I was wondering what the next thing to learn was."

Duo laid back on the floor and thought silently to himself. Slowly a wide smirk grew on his face as an idea formed in his head. Finally, as he got his thoughts in order, Duo sat back up and turned to smile disarmingly at Quatre. "Well the next lesson is caroling."

"What?" Quatre asked with a perplexed, yet excited look on his face.

"It's festive singing. You'll love it." Duo responded with a smile. "Alright which song do you want to learn, 'Jingle Bells', 'O Christmas Tree', 'Ol Saint Nick', or 'The 12 Days of Christmas'?"

Quatre thought it over a bit before finally coming to a decision, "'The 12 Days of Christmas' if you don't mind."

Duo gave a whoop of joy, his smile widening further. "I was hoping that you'd pick that one. It's my favorite." Duo said with a smile. Quatre smiled back, glad that he had made a good decision then settled down into a comfortable position to be ready to learn the song.

"Alright, this is a repeating song. What you're gonna' do is you say the first line, then the second line for the first verse. Then for the second verse you repeat the first line, a new line and then-" Duo cut himself off noticing the confused look that Quatre was giving him.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

Quatre just shook his head no and Duo gave a dramatic sigh. Sometimes he swore that these people thought everything was rocket science.

"Fine, I guess I'll just have to show you by example. But listen carefully. Here is the first line of the song, 'On the first day Christmas my true love gave to me,' That is the line that starts out every verse no matter what." Duo said and then looked over at Quatre to see if he had gotten that.

Quatre nodded his head to show that he understood and sat up straighter so he could hear the rest.

"Alright, then it goes, 'A partridge in a pear tree.' And that is the end of the first verse." Duo said, once again seeing Quatre nod in understanding.

"But why would anyone give someone a partridge in a pear tree? Those are horrible gifts." Quatre asked looking slightly confused.

Duo just sighed, "You mentioned something about having sisters right?"

"Yeah?"

"So, when you go to buy them gifts do you ever know exactly what to buy them?"

"No. I really can never seem to get exactly what they want."

"Exactly!" Duo shouted, having finally reached his point, "That's why she gets some bird in a tree. The guy has given up on trying to get her a good gift. But that's completely besides the point. Now let's see if you got the first verse. Sing it with me on three."

"One." Duo started while Quatre looked slightly nervous.

"Two." Quatre looked like he was about to cry.

"Three! On the first day of Christmas my-" Duo suddenly stopped in his rendition of the song when he realized that he could only hear his voice. "...Why aren't you singing?"

"I can't sing." Quatre said, looking down at the ground.

Duo just laughed and clapped Quatre on the shoulder, "That's the beauty of caroling. It doesn't matter if you can sing or not. The only way you can carol badly is if you don't at least sound like you're having fun. Trust me. Back at Maxwell Church when they used to make us go door to door caroling, only half of us could actually sing in tune. And then the other half could never keep up with the song or remember the words." Duo said, laughing slightly at the memory of Melody being the only one in their group that could sing all the notes that Sister Helen asked of them, and that was because she was the only one in Duo's group that had ever had singing lessons.

Quatre smiled as Duo spoke and lifted his head up as he started to feel the embarrassment ebb away.

"So, let's try that again, and this time I better hear ya'." Duo said and took a breath to start the count down again.

"One" Quatre took a deep breath to settle his nerves.

"Two."

"Three! On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

A partridge in a pear tree!" This time both pilots were singing, but Quatre hadn't exaggerated at all when he had told Duo that he couldn't sing. His voice was terribly off key and at certain parts he sang the wrong melody, but he was sure to try and keep smiling as he forced out each note.

After they finished the verse Duo winced slightly and stuck a finger in his ear as if to try and force out the ringing and then smiled over at Quatre. "Well that wasn't too bad. I've defiantly heard worse." Quatre smiled over at Duo, and then waited for Duo to continue. "Alright, now that it sounds like that you got the first verse down, now onto the second verse. It goes like this, 'On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

Two turtle doves

And a partridge in a pear tree.' You starting to get how the pattern of this song is going to go?"

Quatre thought over what he had just heard for a moment and then nodded to show that he had gotten it. "Yeah I think I get it. We're just adding lines to what we already have and changing the number of the day."

"Good. So do you want to try that verse or should I just teach you what all the gifts for each of the 12 days are and then we try to carol out the song?"

Quatre thought for a moment before finally coming to the decision that he was a gundam pilot and he should be able to get something as simplistic as a song with out repeating after Duo for each verse before singing it. "Just teach me what each of the days are and I think I'll be able to figure it out."

Duo just shrugged his shoulders, "Alright. If you think you're up to it." Duo said, not sure the blond pilot could handle all of them at once. He just wasn't used to being around people who were trained to be quick thinkers like he was. "The third is three French hens, then four calling, five golden rings! Then six geese a-laying, seven swans a-swimming, eight maids a-milking, nine ladies dancing, ten lords a-leaping, eleven pipers piping, and finally twelve drummers drumming." Duo recited from memory before taking a deep breath. "You got all that?"

Quatre sat silently trying to take in all the the new information before finally speaking. "Why would a boyfriend want to give his girlfriend eight maids, or nine dancing ladies? Those sound like gifts you would give to a man not a lady." Quatre remarked.

Duo sat stunned for a few moments, not expecting the Arabian pilot to make a comment about giving away women, and then started laughing, "Yeah! That would be the sort of gift I would like to get for Christmas, but once again, I don't think this guy thought his gifts completely through, and he probably had an obsession with birds. But you ready to try out the song?"

"Yes. I think I'm ready." Quatre responded with a nod of determination.

"Ok then. One."

"Two."

"Three. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me,

A partridge in a pear tree!"

"On the second day for Christmas my true love gave to me,

Two turtle doves

And a partridge in a pear tree."

The two pilots continued on like that for over an hour, after having to stop multiple times so Quatre could try and remember the lyrics or because Duo would need a second to control his laughter at Quatre's expense. By the time they had reached ten both boys could hardly say a word through their uncontrollable laughter. And about the time they started eleven, the two boys heard a beeping noise from the door and had to stop singing so they could hear better.

Silently, Duo walked over to his bed and grabbed the gun that he always kept under his pillow and Quatre slid a jagged edge knife out of his boot. Both boys had their attention focused on the doorway.

A few seconds later, the door swung wide open and a very annoyed looking Heero stood in the doorway. "Would you two stop torturing cats in here!" Heero shouted, glaring down at the two boys.

Both Quatre and Duo lowered their weapons and stared in shocked silence at the now open door. In the same second they both seemed to snap out of their trance and rushed for the doorway. Quatre dived out the door on his stomach and hit the outer hallway while laughing hysterically and Duo wasn't far behind him. Finally! They were both free.

Heero just stood, staring in silence at the two idiots lying on the hallway floor before finally deciding to say something. "What are you two doing?"

Duo whipped his head around to glare at Heero, "No! I think the real question is why did you lock us in our rooms!"

Heero just glared at Duo, "I didn't lock you in your rooms."

"Yes you did! You put electronic locks on the outside of the doors!" Duo shouted, pointing angrily at the panel on the wall next to his open doorway.

Heero rolled his eyes at Duo's behavior and also at Quatre who was still on the ground laughing uncontrollably. "Yes. On the outside."

Duo intensified his glare at Heero, shooting him his best God of Death look. "What do you mean? It still locked us in."

"No. It keeps things out."

"But we were trapped inside!"

"Next time try the door knob idiot. The lock only works on the outside." Heero stated before turning and walking down the hallway to his room.

Both Duo and Quatre sat silently for a few seconds and looked at each other, before they both burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

About 30 minutes later...

Duo sat at the kitchen table with Quatre, finally sipping his well desrved and needed coffee. Duo inhaled the fresh scent of the coffee and sighed contentedly. This is exactly what he needed. It was unhealthy for Duo to start his mornings without coffee. He had gotten hooked on the stuff ever since he was eight and ever since he's been addicted. He had a problem, he'd admit it.

Quatre laughed at the blissful look on Duo's face and poured some tea for himself. After everything that had happened that morning, he couldn't really blame Duo for enjoying his coffee so much. In fact, he was looking forward to his morning cup of tea probably just as much as Duo had been looking forward to his coffee.

Duo put down his cup as he realized what he had forgotten in all the morning's excitement. Duo got to his feet and started to walk towards the bathroom. "Be right back." Duo called over his shoulder to Quatre. After a full nights sleep, it was a custom that Duo 'empty the tank' first thing when he woke up and this was most certianly nothing to interfere with. And that day was no exception.

Quatre stared after his friend in confusion as he raced down the hallway. 'Now what got into him?' Quatre wondered. He just gave a mental shrug and decided that whatever it was, it really didn't matter at that particular moment and he would just ask Duo later. With a small smile, Quatre leaned his back against his chair with the intention of just enjoying the moment of peace that he had been blessed with.

Sadly, Quatre's blessing was a short lived one as suddenly he heard a shout from down the hallway. "ARG!" he heard Duo shout, "YUY! YOU GIVE ME THE DAMN KEY NUMBER FOR THIS BATHROOM, NOW!"

It was at that moment that Quatre realized that they had forgotten to ask Heero for the codes to all the doors. 'Oops.' Quatre thought with a small laugh to himself. He was sure that Heero would come to Duo's rescue...eventually.

Oh no. Lady Luck most certainly did not love Duo that day.

And now a word from our sponsor:

Yes. Yes. I know. I'm behind schedual. Better late than never. But I just couldn't figure out what to do. I know what each chapter is going to revolve around (kinda') because I already have the end song worked out (kinda'), but I just don't know how to give them a plot.

But for a late piece of work, I am rather proud of how this one turned out. I really do like this chapter. So far, definatly my favorite. Though I am a bit sad that this didn't have the same amount of Christmas cheer as I wanted it to.

Please leave me comments. Even if they're bad ones. I survive off of attention. And I need ideas. Lots of ideas.