Disclaimer: I do not own any final fantasy characters.
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CHAPTER ONE : A STRANGE ROBBERY
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It was a quiet, early, bright, December no-one-up-yet morning in town of Winhill. The shops on Main Street were just beginning to open. Except for the Butcher's, simply because Jesse had turned off Ward's alarm clock. Though there were many stores, our story begins in the Tri-Store.
Why is it called the Tri-Store? Because it is a one-room building that contains a Burger King, Candy Castle, and a Claire's Jewelers. Though all of the stores are connected, there was also a separate door for each that let people in and outside. Apparently it is a VERY BIG BUILDING.
On this particular morning, the three assistant managers were beginning to open their respectful shops. In a few hours the other employees would arrive and business would begin. By nine in the morning the place was alive with activity. But nothing REALLY happened until lunch time.
Around lunch, all activity moved into the Burger King section. There were tons of people--some eating, some drinking, some whining, and some playing with those little cheap crap-toys. All in all, everyone was doing what they were usually doing, except for the cashier, who, being the only employee there (except the "cooks"), was getting sued because there was no play area. Once the angry grandmother and wailing grandkids left, the cashier thought that everything was going to calm down. This wasn't meant to be. At exactly 12:01, the Burger King's main entrance banged open and in walked a very tall man.
He was dressed in a tan trench coat and pants, with a purple shirt underneath. He also wore black fingerless gloves, so he could pull the trigger on the rifle he was holding in the cashier's face. On his head was a black cowboy hat, and under it, concealing his face, was a…uh, er, a um…pink…ski mask.
Though he looked really comical, no one was laughing.
"Alright mister…uh, MISTER!" The man demanded. "I want to see Ronald McDonald RIGHT NOW!!!"
"Well," the cashier said, relieved, maybe this guy was just an idiot after all. "Then you want McDonald's. They're across the street."
"Oh," the man lowered the gun. "Well thank you very much!" He turned to leave, but as he grabbed the door handle, he swung around. "HEY! What are you trying to do?! Sidetrack me!? Why the hell would I go to McDonald's anyway? They don't let you have things YOU'RE WAY!!"
He stuck the gun back in the cashier's face. "Do you know why I chose this place?"
"Um…Because you want things your way and we provide that?" The cashier guessed.
"EXACTLY!!" The man grinned. "And you know what my way is?"
"Uh…A free number one with a coke and double fries?"
"Sure!" The man lowered the gun and the cashier relaxed "I love coke- Hey! What are ya' tryin' ta' pull?? My way is for you to fork over the cash and everything else in that cash register! And hurry it up! This is my ONLY lunch minute this week, if you haven't noticed that yet! Move it move it move it! C'mon soldier! Move it!"
Since the gun had dutifully resumed its position in his face, the cashier handed over all the money. What else could he do? But he didn't stop there… the robber had said EVERYTHING.
Into the man's bag went a few sticks of gum, some ABC gum that he had to scrape of with a penny, an old Valentines Day card, and the Assistant Managers dentures.
"Dentures?" The robber looked into the bag, when his face came up he sounded confused (he probably LOOKED confused too, but the pink ski masked was hiding his face so we may never know…) "Why would someone have DENTURES in a cash register?"
"I dunno'," the cashier shrugged. "They're not mine. Um… Thank you for choosing Burger King, please come again." The cashier really needed some new underwear.
"Oh, I will." The man gave the cashier THE LOOK. "I WILL." He then grabbed the loot and ran into the next area, laughing maniacally. "MWUAHAHAHAHAHAcoughcoughcoughHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
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The cashier at the Candy Castle was reading a book at the time she was robbed. Business had been really slow and she was bored. Why didn't I remember my iPod? She wondered. She had short straight, blonde hair with brown streaks in it and she wore a white shirt with a black apron on it--her highly distasteful uniform.
So there she was, sitting behind the counter, being nice and bored out of her skull. And who should come through the door way from the Burger King section other than some moron waving a gun around? The first thing she noticed was his bizarre outfit. And of course her reaction was, "Oh cool! You goin' to a costume party?"
"Huh? Who, me? You think this is a costume? Lady, this is what I wear everyday. Well, other than the ski- hey! What is it with all of you people sidetracking me? NO! I am NOT going to some stupid costume party! I'm sticking you up!" After that outburst he stood there a minute, panting and trying to catch his breath. When he did, he said. "Now hand over all of your Jolly Ranchers, Skittles, Mike and Ikes, Candy bars, Tootsie Pops, Lemonheads-"
"Hey! That's like everything! She cut him off. "How do you know that!? Are you psychic or something!?"
"Huh? Oh, honestly, I was just reading them off the menu." He shrugged. "Whatever. Just give me all the edible things here!" He slipped a few boxes of "Atomic Fireballs" into his pocket, then he ran out into the final section of his Reign of Terror!! Hahahahaha!!
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"Gimme' All of your—hey! What gives!?" The man lifted up his ski mask for a second to get a better look. He shoved his back down over his face. "This is just a jewelry store!"
"Yeah, so? You gotta' problem?" The big, muscular, hairy, looks-like-he-doesn't-belong-in-a-jewelry-store-type cashier said.
"No." The man said in a really high-pitched voice. Truth be told, he also needed a new pair of underwear. Then he got himself together. "I mean, not really. See, I'm insane, can I rob you?"
"Insane, huh?" The cashier sniffed. "Insane? D-did you say i-insane? I had a brother that was insane… H-here! Take it! Take it all!" As he began crying uncontrollably, the cashier passed the man handfuls of the most expensive things.
"Uh…Gee, thanks, dude." The man grabbed a value pack of pink fuzzy, hello kitty socks and underwear on his way out the door. Unfortunately, someone in BK had called the police.
"Uh Oh".