I Knew Him When chapter 2
Adam Kadmon
Disclaimer: I don't own Eva
"Ikari Shinji?" Mana asked, feeling a shiver run down her spine.
"Yes," Taper said, handing her the file. "The one and only."
She took it from him, clenching her hands to keep them from shaking. She swallowed.
"When do I meet him, sir?"
"Not so fast. I know you read his case file before the Impact, and have been indirectly questioning his school-mates, but you're not ready to see him yet." He cracked his knuckles against his desk. Mana hated when he did that. "We want you to do some more research. We're opening up more people for you to talk to, to get a better understanding of him."
"With all due respect, sir, I'll get the best understanding when I see him."
Taper squinted at her, trying to peer into her words.
"No." He frowned. "Tell me what you think of him first."
Mana bit her tongue. This was a tricky situation.
"I only know what I read, sir. It's difficult to render a personal opinion."
"Try."
"Well… I heard he's shy, intelligent, but easily manipulated. I believe him to be somewhat immature, and selfish. Beyond that, sir, I suspend any judgment." Some suspension.
"What do you think of his battle record?"
"It's impressive, sir," Mana admitted. "I'd be lying if I said otherwise."
Taper waited for more. Mana gave him nothing.
"I want you to remember that, Kirishima. Remember he isn't someone to take lightly. Be on your guard and be cautious. Don't let any feelings of pity or gratitude blind you."
"Where is he now, sir?"
"House arrest," he said. "Been there for awhile."
"No, sir. I mean where is he exactly?"
"You'll meet him when you complete your investigation. No sooner. We're clearing up the red tape for you to see the remainder of NERV's personnel, but it'll take a few days. Until then, get your notes in order and review the cases. We'll contact you when we're ready. Don't worry, Kirishima. Ikari will be waiting."
"Yes, sir."
Taper pursed his lips.
"I want you to be careful. I won't pretend to know what the Japanese really think about him and NERV, but never forget that he's dangerous. That he's a threat. He isn't some great hero to be worshipped like those cults do. He is, from everything we've uncovered, directly linked with the Impact."
"You think he caused it, sir?" she asked.
"That," Taper said, "is what you're going to find out."
Mana was reviewing the old files on the pilots when someone knocked on her door, making the frosted glass rattle. She sighed. Even his knock was annoying.
"Come on in, Musashi."
He entered, letting the door hit the wall. Mana groaned.
"Hey there." He waved. "How was G.I. Joe? Did he ask you to play war with him?"
She smiled despite herself.
"No, and I doubt he'd be happy to hear your little nickname for him."
"My nickname? Come on, everybody calls him that. Even the foreigners." He mock spit out the corner of his mouth. "Besides, it isn't like he'd fire me. People aren't exactly lining up outside the gates to work here."
"Yeah," Mana sighed. "I know."
"Eh, don't let it get to you. Stupid sheep outside only think of themselves, blubbering and pissing themselves about oh, the cults, and oh, the UN." His voice went high, trying to imitate a child's. "And when will the halo go away? Wah! When will the ocean stop smelling like blood? Boo hoo."
"You done?"
"So fucking sorry. I try to make somebody's day a little bit brighter, and she tells me to shut it. I don't know why I even bother."
"Why do you bother?"
Musashi sat on her desk, grinning.
"Because you're so damn gorgeous, doc. When are you going to let me sweep you off your feet?"
"Really? What about poor little Asari?"
"Him?" he scoffed. "He's probably hiding under a desk somewhere, rolling pennies trying to save up for a second pair of pants."
"You always have such… interesting things to say, Musashi-kun. Thanks for stopping by. Don't be a stranger, now," she said, waving him away.
"Aw, come on," he said. "At least tell me what you're working on. Anything to avoid returning to… human resources. God! Why'd I join the military? I thought by now I'd be in the Middle East or America, or somewhere shooting guys and blowing stuff up." He snorted. "So, give. What's all this?" He didn't wait for an answer, snatching one of the files up. "Huh. Ikari Shinji. Unit-01's pilot, right? Say… weren't you supposed to date him or something?"
"I was supposed to initiate contact with him, yes, but the Trident project was halted and we aborted the plan." She sighed. "I wonder what would have happened if we did meet."
"Well, you could have killed the bastard, saving mankind from its present nightmarish hell we currently enjoy." Musashi shrugged. "Or he could have knocked you up, sending you out of the service in disgrace. Either or. Both are good."
"Go to hell."
"Already there, babe." He swung his legs, leaping off the desk. "So, really. What is this?"
Mana sighed again, sour on the subject now.
"Colonel Taper asked I step up the investigation on Ikari. I'm getting access to the surviving NERV guys and even Ikari himself. He wants me to go over the others first, like they haven't been drilled enough. What does he think I'll find?"
"The truth," Musashi said.
"Wh-what?" Mana choked out, astounded he had said something so close to her true thoughts.
"The truth. You have it written here under his photo. What does it mean?"
"Give me that." She stole it back, frowning. "Get out of here. I mean it."
"Cute kid," Musashi said, taking one final peek at the file. He backed out of her office. "I bet you're sore you never got to meet him. Bet he kept you up some nights, huh? You always liked the weird ones."
"Get out!" she growled, standing up.
"Oh, yeah." He pitched his voice high again, mimicking her. "Oh, great and powerful Ikari-sama, how can I ever thank you for saving the earth? How about I go down on you? It's the least I could do." He dropped his tone. "Gee, thanks mysterious stranger. Don't mind if I pop you in the eye. Then I'll go and fuck the world over."
"Get out!"
"Geez," he said, beetling his brow. "Take a joke, why don't you? See you at lunch. I'll save you a seat." He waved as he left.
Mana fell into her chair. God damn Musashi. Little prick. And anyway, who cared if Ikari used to make her hot? She was a kid, damn it, and he was the savior of the earth. A little hero worship wasn't out of the ordinary back then. All the girls did it. Hell, some of the guys did. She remembered how grown men even drooled over the Eva units, touting statistics and records like they were baseball stars or something.
Sure. The Evas against the Angels, in scenic Japan stadium. Kids get in free, so bring the whole family. Base line seats to the apocalypse.
Mana groaned, stretching out over her desk. Her papers shuffled under her arms. Sure she wanted to meet him, but not now. Not like this. Not when he was considered an enemy of humanity. It always amazed her he wasn't executed. She supposed living in the world he helped create was punishment enough.
She pushed it all from her mind with an effort. No time to think like that now. Back to business.
She looked over the survivor list again, even though they wouldn't be ready for interview for a few days, like Taper said. One name, on a secondary sheet caught her eye. Someone from his class, but whom she hadn't contacted before. There were already extensive files on her, but talking to someone in person was always more telling than any description in a dossier. She found the current address, skipping over family history and the like. She checked her watch. She could make it if she hurried. Mana grabbed her coat and left.
The drive took her all day. She raced the sun to the horizon, speeding down the empty freeway. The town that met her as she crested a hill was small, a smattering of houses surrounding an electrical plant, white steam billowing up into the endless orange sky. As she entered the limits a few children greeted her by running away, leaving their toys in the street where they fell. Mana took care to drive around them.
It took her only a few minutes to find the house she wanted. She parked her car and was struck with how quiet the town was. No traffic, no pedestrians, children escaping her gaze. It was a little unsettling.
Mana rang the bell, sparing a second to glance over the modest house. She smiled at the carefully arranged flowers standing up from window boxes. She felt cozy.
The door opened and a frazzled looking woman peeked out. Mana snapped to attention.
"Hello?" the woman asked. Her brown hair fell into her eyes.
"Hello. I'm Dr. Kirishima. I'm here to talk to you. You were notified, correct?"
"Oh… yes. It's you." She opened the door. "Please come in."
"Thank you, Hiramoto-san." Mana stepped inside, and noticed a young child clinging to the woman. "Who's this?" she asked, grinning.
"Oh, this is my son, Suichi. Su-chan, say hello."
"Hello," the boy whispered, peeking out from behind the woman's legs.
"Hello, Suichi. I'm Mana. Is it okay if I talk to your mommy for a little?"
The boy nodded slowly, still gripping her dress. The woman gently extracted his hands, telling him to go and play in his room.
"Mama needs to talk to her, okay? Go on, now. Papa will be home soon. Go on."
The boy chewed on his thumb, shuffling down a side hall, stealing glances at the two women as he went. His door closed and the woman sighed.
"I'm sorry this is so late, and on such short notice," Mana said. "It is important."
"I know," the woman said. "Please, come in."
They walked into the kitchen, sitting at a crooked table. Mana saw the refrigerator, plastered with pictures in crayon and marker. She grinned.
"How old is your son?"
"Five." She smiled faintly. "He's still a little clingy. But he's a good boy. Very shy."
"I envy you, Hiramoto-san."
"Thank you." She waited a breath. "Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?"
"No, thank you. If you don't mind, I'd like to begin, if it's okay with you."
"It's… it's okay. Let's begin."
Mana nodded. She pulled out a notepad.
"For my records, can I have your maiden name?"
"Horaki Hikari. You can call me Hikari if you want."
"Thank you, Hikari-san. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask some very personal questions. I apologize beforehand, but please keep in mind this will help us greatly."
"I know. I've talked to others like you before." Hikari gasped and covered her mouth. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that! I just…"
"It's okay." Mana smiled, putting her at ease. "Don't worry about it. Let's begin. You attended school in Tokyo-3 in 2015, correct?"
"Yes."
"You came into contact with Ikari Shinji, correct?"
Hikari blinked.
"Oh. This is about him?"
"Yes. Did you think it was about someone else?"
"No, no, I…" Hikari shook her head. "Forget it. I'm sorry. Please continue. Yes, I knew him. Not well, but we talked now and then."
"Okay. What did you know about him?"
The brunette looked past Mana, to a point on the wall. She sighed.
"He was… very shy. Very private. He blushed easily, and was usually embarrassed when you talked to him. He apologized a lot. Asuka was usually angry at him."
"Asuka? You mean pilot Soryu?"
"Yeah. Asuka," Hikari said. "They lived together, you know. Not like… that, but as part of their training or something. I don't know. She didn't like to talk about it."
"You were friends with Soryu-san?" Mana asked.
"I think so. She was real private, too. But in a different way I think. Like she was too proud to let people near her. We hung out, and we talked, but we never really talked. I remember feeling real sad for her near the end."
"Did she ever talk about Ikari-san?"
"Yeah… yeah." She smiled. "A lot. Not as much as… what was his name? An older man, who worked at NERV… what was his name?"
Mana paused in her writing, surprised at how open Hikari was. Like strolling down memory lane was a picnic for her.
"What did she say about Ikari-san," she asked, trying to bring her back on topic.
"Oh… she'd always say how clumsy he was, how stupid and perverted he was. But I don't know. Whenever he talked to me he was a gentleman. He was nice to everyone I think. Not rude, or crude, or mean. He was a little naïve, I think, not really aware of other people, but not in a spiteful way, you know? Just sort of… unaware."
"Did Soryu-san ever talk about how he was in the Evangelion? Its okay, you can tell me. I have clearance."
"Oh… okay. She honestly never really talked about him like that. I didn't ask, either. To tell you the truth, those things scared me a little. There were times I'd just stop and be amazed at what was happening around me. That I was living through something like that. That anyone was. Asuka would talk in general about it. About how great she was at it, about how great she felt when she was inside it, about how Ikari-kun and Ayanami weren't needed."
"Ayanami?" Mana prompted.
"Ayanami Rei. She was a pilot, too. She was real quiet, stoic. Never talked unless talked too, and even then it wasn't a sure thing. I tried to be her friend, but she just sort of ignored everyone."
"You've talked to people before about these things, haven't you?" Mana asked, not liking the slightly glazed look filling her eyes.
"Yes. Awhile back it seemed that everyday someone new would talk to me." Hikari shrugged. "I just learned its best not to question them and answer as best I can. Am I doing something wrong?"
"No, no. Can you tell me anything else about Ikari Shinji?"
"I liked him. I thought he was nice. But… I don't think many other people did. Girls would say he was cute, and guys envied him, but no one really talked to him. I mean, he wasn't easily approachable, but still… I felt a little sorry for him. Oh! But he had friends. Aida and Suzahara. They hung out a lot after… after awhile. They were friends."
Mana felt the sun setting on her side, out the window. She glanced at the coloring clouds, the blood halo slowly gaining substance in the darkening heavens. She resisted the urge to turn on the kitchen light.
"Aida Kensuke and Suzahara Touji," Hikari elaborated. "They were friends. Well, until… until the thing with Suzahara…"
"The Unit-03 incident?" Mana asked, searching her brain. "When he was injured?"
Hikari nodded, looking away.
"Nobody ever told me what happened. Not even Suzahara or Asuka. I felt like they were hiding it from me. Do… do you know what happened, Dr. Kirishima?"
"Not really," Mana evaded. "I probably know about as much as you do."
"Oh. Forgive me for asking. I just… I don't know. I guess the less I know, the better, huh?" She chuckled weakly.
"When did you move out of Tokyo-3?"
"It was… it was shortly after that. Asuka had been hurt in an attack… she cried in front of me. I mean, she never cried. Ever. She stayed at my home for days and days… just playing games, not going to school, or home… she never told me what happened. I was too afraid to ask. Things were coming apart… and then I moved away. I was caring for Katsuragi-san's penguin, too…"
"Ikari-san's guardian?"
"Yeah… she gave me her penguin because she couldn't take care of it anymore. She said it was safer if I had it." Hikari's lips quivered. "But… but then… then the Impact thing happened… and I…" She sobbed once, making her body jump. "When I came back I went to my old house… to make sure he was alright… Penpen, that was his name… when I came back I went to see him, because Katsuragi-san would want to know he was alright. I mean she trusted me with him, so… but when I found him he was dead. He was dead, like he'd been dead a long time… he was all dried out, like a husk, and bugs were crawling on him… I…" She bit back several sobs. "I buried him in our backyard. I made a headstone out of cardboard, but I didn't know when he was born, and I didn't know what year it was, either… so I just wrote his name. That was all I knew."
Mana pursed her lips, glancing away in courtesy. Hikari's tears fell down her face.
"I… I just..." She sniffled. "I'm sorry. I mean, I never even saw Katsuragi-san again, or Asuka, or Ikari-kun, or anybody. I didn't see anybody." She bowed her head, letting her cries make her shoulders rock. She sighed after a time, forcing breaths from her nose. "I thought they might be on the news, or find me someday, but… but it's been years. I can't forget them, though. I can't."
Mana stayed silent, her tongue heavy in her mouth. She'd seen breakdowns just like this, far worse even, but still, she felt bad. She felt hurt. This was her doing, she made her remember, she made her cry. But she couldn't tell her anything. All she could do was wait. The interview needed to continue.
That was when the front door opened. Both women jumped.
"Hi-chan! Su-chan! I'm home!"
Hikari was on her feet, her tears gone. She forced a smile.
"Kazu!" she beamed as a tall man walked into the kitchen. "Welcome home." She gave him a peck and he wrapped an arm around her.
"We have company?" he asked.
"Yes. This is Dr. Kirishima, from the military. Dr. Kirishima, this is my husband, Kazu."
The man's long face faltered on the word military, but he recovered in a flash.
"Pleased to meet you," he said. They stayed in an uncomfortable silence for a moment, faces straining to keep things happy. "Say," Kazu said. "Where's that son of ours?"
"Su-chan is in his room."
"Oh? I hope he wasn't being bad." He said the last word with a grin.
"No, I just didn't want him to get in the way while we were talking."
Mana shifted under the pressure in the room. She put her notepad away.
"Oh," Kazu said, offhandedly. "Could you check on him, hon? I don't want him to catch the house on fire, or anything." He chuckled.
Hikari hesitated, then stepped away.
"S-sure." She stopped, and turned to him. "It's okay," she whispered.
Kazu smiled and nodded. He stayed that way until she closed Suichi's door. He sighed and his face collapsed.
"Excuse me," Mana said, hating herself. "But may I ask your age?" He looked older, he was certainly older, but she had to be sure.
"I'm thirty," he said. "Why?" His tone was sharp.
"Sorry. I just needed to check. Forgive me."
Kazu sighed, rubbing his eyes.
"What more do you want from her? She's told you people all she knows. Can't you let her be? Can't you let her forget now?"
"I'm sorry."
"She doesn't know anything about those machines," Kazu said, his voice low. "She was never even near one of them. She barely knew those damn pilots. But you keep making her relive it, you won't give her any time to rest and be happy. She has a family now, okay? She has a son. I'm sick and tired of you calling on her every single time you need your memory refreshed."
"I'm sorry," Mana said. "It was…" She shook her head. "We should have known better. Forgive me. I didn't know."
Kazu blew out a breath and leaned against the wall.
"It's… okay. Just… just don't come back, alright? She's a strong woman, but she can't stay in the past forever. She can't be dragged back into it forever. Please, just… leave and never return." He looked at her. "I love her. I love her and Su more than anything. They're like the reason I came back. So please, just go."
Mana bowed, letting him see it.
"I am sorry. Thank you for your understanding. I won't bother you anymore."
Mana raised herself and left. She got into her car and leaned back, closing her eyes. She waited, breathing in and out, sinking in the darkness. She turned the car on without looking, feeling the illumination of the dash against her face. Mana opened her eyes slowly, and gazed at Hikari's house. The kitchen light was on, and people were moving inside. Mana committed the sight to memory, and drove away.
End of chapter 2
Author's notes: before you crucify me for not having Hikari wind up with Touji, let me explain. This is just my personal feeling, and feel free to disagree, but that whole relationship always felt a little tacked on to me. Like it was included solely to increase the drama of the Touji pilot arc. I mean, she expressed more of an interest in Asuka before that point. I know I'll receive a flame or two for this, but it was how I felt. Besides, what I have in mind for Suzahara is more interesting. At least, I think so.
Musashi and Asari are from the game Girlfriend of Steel, though I know absolutely zero about them, except their basic personality types. I really don't like how he turned out, but so what? He was filler. But any info on them would be appreciated, and if I've butchered them, I apologize.
And thanks to my reviewers. I know my beginnings are weak and drawn out, and I appreciate your support. Next chaptershould be a little more interesting.