Title: Don't Look My Way
Author: Blue-eyed Fox
Warning: Yaoi, Shounen-ai (Male/Male romance), OOC major… And major sappiness is up ahead!
Genre: Romance, Drama, and Angst…(sweatdrops)
Disclaimers: I don't own Naruto and the rest of the gang. If I did then Sakura would be dating Rock Lee after the forest of death incident.
Authoress' Note:
Yes! A second chapter! Yosh! I'm glad you guys liked it… However, please don't kill me since this part is going to be loaded with angst and drama and very little romance… I hope it meets your standards.
In this fic, Sasuke never left to join Orochimaru, details are inside.
I'm thankful for those who left reviews (your reactions and comments)… I'm really touched and at the same time almost got a heart-attack… (You know who you are… I'm still nervous though…(sweatdrops)) Ha-ha-ha…
By the way, this is going to be a long chapter… So bear with me! And do prepare a hell lot of Kleenex! This chapter is going to be overloaded with heart-wrenching sentiments. (You have been warned!)
Summary:
Actions speak louder than words. A tortured heart, a battered soul, everything has breaking point that not even one can prevent if not saved in time.
Legend:
Words in Italics are mental thoughts and musings.
Words in this form are the contents of a letter. (Words highlighted with Italics and Bold)
Words in this form are contents of a dream sequence.
Important Note:
From each character here, except for Iruka who always wakes up early for his class at the Academy and Jiraiya (spoilers), the timeline would be the same from the moment they wake-up, e.g., Tsunade wakes up at 7am and so does the other characters… Get it?
Good, now on with the story!
- - - - - - - - -
Chapter 2: Letters
- - - - - - - - -
The weather that day had never been so grueling, not to mention outright depressing. It was also that day when Konoha's number one prankster, Uzumaki Naruto left the Hidden Village of Leaf.
But what was even more depressing was the shocking news that the people who knew Naruto had received…
- - - -
Tsunade woke up that morning with a heavy feeling weighing down upon her, especially on her heart. She pondered on getting out of bed or just sleep in for an hour more or so. However, she knew that she would be getting a hell of a lecture out of her brisk assistant. After more or less a mental debate, she picked the former since she didn't want to have a splitting headache in the morning.
When she got out of bed, she caught something glistening by the coffee table in the corner of her eye. She slid on a robe and walked over towards it and was surprised to see the necklace she gave to Naruto neatly laced around a white envelope. Fear and apprehension struck her heart.
Naruto!
With a shaking hand she removed the necklace and clutched in her hand as she slowly opened the envelope to read the neatly folded letter, waiting and fearing for the worst that has yet to arrive.
Tsunade-baa-chan,
By the time you read this letter, I would be long gone, far away from this spiteful village, far away from the people I used to give a damn about.
To be honest with you, I don't want to leave without saying goodbye to you personally, however, I know that you wouldn't allow me to. I know that you're truly worried about me and for my well-being and I am thankful for that. Remember the time I challenged you that I can master the Rasengan in less than two weeks? I was truly happy back then cause you treated me as a person, as someone worth wasting time on.
I'm also returning the necklace back to you. I have no interest in keeping it with me along with my dream of being the next Hokage of this village. I have already thrown away that dream. I no longer find it that interesting or worth achieving.
I have realized that this village will see me as nothing more but a demon, a monster that had made the Yondaime sacrifice his life to save the village; a monster that killed and took away the lives of their loved ones.
My sanity is just a few feet away from falling into the depths of darkness if I didn't leave this village. That, I am painfully aware of and even the destructive giant mass of fur inside me, Kyuubi, knows it.
I'm sick and tired of pretending not to see or hear anything. I'm tired of wearing my cheerful mask that hides my pain. I'm tired of crying all by myself in the confines of what I call my home in as long as I can recall.
I grew up in fear. I grew up with sadness and sorrow as my companion.
I know and I am aware that you have done everything in your power as the Hokage to try and help me. However, orders do not change people's minds. Sarutobi-ojii-chan was living proof of that. He may have had ordered a decree of not having people talk about the Kyuubi or tell me that I was its vessel.
Even with that decree, the punishment that went along side it was not enough for people to let bygones be bygones. When I was a child, I was hated immensely even until now. I was stoned or beaten up whenever I was cornered. I grew up fearing for my life, doubting people around me that I didn't know.
Leaving this damn village is the only answer I know to help the villagers and myself. It is either this or I kill myself.
Bye nee-chan, I don't think, more so, believe that we would be able to see each other anytime soon or ever. Don't go slacking off your paperwork! And don't go drinking too much sake!
Take care, I will miss you dearly for I have looked up to you and treated you like an older sister despite the 'baa-chan' thing. However, I don't think that it will remain that way forever if ever we do meet again in the future.
Sayonara, nee-chan, sayonara.
Uzumaki Naruto
Tears had stained her cheeks as Tsunade stood there for what seemed like forever as she stared and re-read the letter in her hand.
For minutes she stood there, thousands of thoughts running were running in her mind. Hundreds of images were flashing right in front of her eyes. She couldn't believe it. She didn't want to believe. In her mind, it was just a sick joke but the necklace in her hand was telling her it wasn't. Naruto never took off the necklace.
She tightened her grip on the necklace in her right hand as she haphazardly wiped her cheeks. She immediately called for Shizune and ordered her to check Naruto's apartment and report to her immediately. She also called for a number of Chuunins on duty during that time to immediately summon the Jounin teachers, Iruka-sensei and Rookie 9 in her presence. After which, she had summoned a number of ANBU's giving them a top-priority A-class mission to search for Naruto and bring him back to Konoha, specifically to her.
- - - -
The pink-haired shinobi was startled awake when she heard a crash, a sound of glass being broken in her room. She sat up, kunai in hand and looked around her room only to see the picture frame of team 7 lying on the floor.
At the sight of it, she immediately felt something was amiss but couldn't put a finger on what it was. She got out of bed and walked towards the broken picture frame. Her mother had peeked in her room to ask what had happened and told her that it was just the picture frame of her team.
Her mother had approached her and looked at the object in her hands and told her something within the lines of something was about to happen, an omen of sort but quickly brushed it off telling her that it was a mere silly superstition and that she had nothing to worry about it as she left Sakura in her room so she could make breakfast.
Sakura upon hearing those words felt another jolt of unease run down her spine. She turned the frame over and saw that the cracked and broken part of the glass was over Naruto.
Naruto…Sakura carefully removed the picture out of the broken frame. She then set it aside on her study table and it was only then when she noticed an envelope with a green ribbon tied on it. She picked it up and studied it before opening it to read its contents.
Sakura-chan,
There are things in life that do not last forever. We cannot have everything we want in life nor can we ask for the things that we know that is clearly impossible.
Sakura-chan, you are one of my best and closest female friends, you are like a sister to me, you know that don't you? Remember the time when we had that talk? You became my best female friend then and I was very happy and thankful. And right now, I am going to ask a favor from you, and I hope you will be able to do it.
Sakura-chan, I ask that you won't shed a single tear for me.
Be mad, be angry or pour out whatever grudge you hold against me instead of tears. Since from this point onwards, I am long gone from Konoha and will never come back. I will not go back to that place which only holds hatred towards me.
I'm sure you haven't noticed it but the village itself is a hellhole for me. Every single person – a stranger for that matter only sees me as a demon. A monster that once almost destroyed the village, a monster that took away the lives of the people they hold dear to their hearts.
You haven't noticed it since you cling too much to Sasuke's arm and never take notice of the things around you and that can become one of the reasons of your downfall.
Right now, I don't want to be mad at you for the times that you have punched or hit me. You have every reason of doing so, however, you have not have enough patience and understanding in you, which hurts me even more.
For now, all I can do is hope and pray that you could become a better ninja, a stronger one for that matter.
I don't know when or if we ever do meet again. But I'm sure that it won't be anytime soon. But if ever that time comes, I will no longer be the same Uzumaki Naruto that all of you once knew. Don't blame yourself Sakura-chan; you are not enough reason to blame and to be blamed at all for that matter.
By the way, the ribbon is for your hair. It reminded me of your eyes when I first saw it. Think of it as my last present for you.
Sayonara.
Uzumaki Naruto
Sakura stared at the letter in her hands. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears, blocking out any sound from the outside world.
This can't be real. This is a joke right? Yeah, this is just some prank that baka Naruto is trying to pull!
But something inside her was telling her otherwise. She quickly got dressed and made it out of their house, not minding the steady downpour of the rain, all she had in mind was to go and check on Naruto, the green ribbon wound up in her hand. But even before she could take ten steps away from their property, a chuunin appeared before her, requesting her immediate appearance before the Hokage.
Right then, she heard something shatter deep inside her heart.
- - - -
Umino Iruka never liked waking up to a gloomy weather. It was just depressing! It sort sucked out the energy in everything. But still, he had to wake-up early so that he could prepare and go to the academy to teach the young hopeful and future Shinobis of Konoha.
As he was about to leave his apartment, he noticed that there was an envelope on the receiving area of his apartment. He stooped down and picked it up, wondering what it might be and from whom it might be from. Carefully opening the edges, he pulled out the paper and read it.
Iruka-sensei,
I'm sure you didn't wake up in the right side of bed this morning. You are the kind of person who never liked rainy days like this. But neither the less, I just hope that you remain the same teacher, friend and brother that I have come to know and grow up with. And I am deeply thankful for you, for accepting me. For seeing me more than just a demon vessel but as a human being with feelings and for treating me as one, I am indebted to you as a matter of fact.
Sensei, by the time you have read this, I am no longer in my apartment or anywhere in Konoha for that matter. Don't try to search for me. It will only be fruitless.
Please don't be too hard on yourself. It isn't your fault. I know you have done what you can for me; you have always been there. But we can't deny the fact that everything has its limits, its boundaries, and a line that cannot be crossed even if we want to.
Society has its way of treating people. Those who are above others treat those below them like trash and tools only to be used and manipulated for their own twisted ways. I have seen and experienced that myself. The council, the elders and those nobles, the village itself is proof of that.
I know that there would be hundreds of questions running in mind right now and the thing I can say to help you understand is that, I am tired. Tired of pretending to be happy, tired of pretending that I am okay. I'm tired of wearing my mask just to show the world that I don't give a rat's ass about what they think of me.
I've realized that wearing that mask is slowly eating me inside. Making me more vulnerable and I can't have that. I just won't allow it.
Sayonara, Iruka-sensei. Thanks for all the fond memories. Thanks for being there for the sake of being there when I needed someone to talk to. Thanks for looking out for me. I won't be able to make any promises that I'll still be the same when we meet again. I might as well become an S-rank missing-nin or something like that. Till then, just expect changes if ever we meet again. If we ever do that is…
Uzumaki Naruto
Iruka felt his weight shift as he leaned on the wall for support then sliding down till he was seated on the floor. He was lost in his own thoughts as images of him and Naruto flashed right in front of his eyes.
The times when they would eat together at Ichiraku,
The times when he and Naruto would fool around,
The time he had graduated from the academy,
The time he had given him his forehead protector,
The times when Naruto just sat silently on top of the Hokage Monument lost in his own sea of thoughts.
It was right then that Iruka realized that Naruto was deeply hurting inside and he felt bad for not seeing right through his student, his student that he treated and loved like his own brother. He shuddered at the thought of Naruto becoming a missing-nin or even… No, he didn't even bother to think about it. He openly refused to think about it.
Naruto-kun…Iruka was shook out from his stupor when he heard an urgent knock on the door of his apartment. He slowly got up and went to the door, only to be greeted by a drenched Chuunin asking his immediate presence in the Godaime Hokage-sama herself.
- - - -
He had awoken from a dream, more like a nightmare so to speak. But not of the one that had used to haunt him when he was still young. Not the one where he would come home to see the bodies of his family swimming in their own blood.
Instead, he had dreamed about his best friend and at the same time, so-called rival. Uzumaki Naruto was like a brother to him. He was the only one who was able to see the real him and melted away the ice and broke down the walls that he had painfully built around himself.
In his dream, they were waiting for their Jounin instructor at the bridge. Naruto and Sakura were talking to each other when all of a sudden their surroundings became quiet, the sunny day turned into pitch black. He looked over to where his teammates were and saw Naruto facing him with a smile, he saw that Naruto was saying something to him but couldn't hear the words before waved to him and turned his heel to walk away.
Sasuke had woken up on the part where he tried to follow and stop Naruto.
He felt uneasy about the dream. He owed Naruto his life and his sanity.
Three years ago, if it weren't for Naruto, he, Uchiha Sasuke, would have had become a missing-nin and at the same time, a traitor of leaf. Naruto was the one who had beaten some sense into his one-way track, narrow brain of his back then when he was about to join and side with Orochimaru because of his blind need for power.
He remembered how angry, sad and frustrated Naruto was. Screaming at him, punching and kicking him for all it's worth. Naruto said back then that he was going to stop him and make him see how wrong he was and how wrong his decision will be if he pursued his quest for power and revenge.
And that he did. Naruto did make him realize and had dragged his sorry ass to the hospital after he got beaten to a pulp. And from that point onward, he made it officially clear to himself that he was never alone and that power wasn't the answer for everything.
Sasuke then snapped out of his musings and got out of bed, took a shower before heading down the kitchen for breakfast. It was his usual morning routine before heading out to train or meet up with the rest of team 7 on the bridge. But what was unusual in this morning was that he found a letter, a container with five medium sized onigiri.
Sasuke stared at the kitchen table before studying his environment, checking if it was safe and if there were anything missing. Thankfully, everything was in place. He then approached the table, picking up the letter first.
He carefully tore it open as he sat down in one of the chairs of the dining table as he began to read.
Yo, Sasuke-teme!
Don't ask me how I got in your house. I just got in okay?
And mind you, put better locks on your house. Your fan girls might just get the strange and deluded idea to break in and from the looks of it, the locks of your house isn't that reliable.
Sasuke shivered at the thought and made a mental note to buy durable, high-quality, heavy-duty locks.
Anyway, I got some onigiri for ya! Since I know that you aren't the type who eats anything but onigiri… I swear, I don't know what you like so much about those blasted stuffed rice balls, but hey, that's the same for me about my love for ramen. Anyway, eat up! It's not poisoned you know.
Right then, Sasuke tore his eyes from the letter and opened the opaque container. To his surprise, he found a picture of himself, sleeping.
I guess you found the picture already. By the way, you look adorable when you sleep. And how do you do that? I mean, still look great while you sleep? And don't get any ideas! Don't worry, I only took one picture, I swear! I have no use for it anyway. Blackmailing you is the last thing I'd do or even consider in my list, especially now or ever.
Sasuke rolled his eyes as he placed the picture down before grabbing an onigiri and eat it.
Dobe.
Anyway, I got in to your house, well literally broke in to your house because I wanted to leave you these (letter included) and to annoy you a little just for the sake of having fun. Anyhow, there are a few things I wanted to say before I get to the main point of everything.
Sasuke, seriously! Stop being such an uptight prick! It's like you have a 500-year-old tree shoved up your god damn fucking ass!
And I'm sorry.
I know that I have been such a pain in the ass these past six years and I would like to thank you for putting up with me and seeing me as an equal.
We've been through the good and the bad times. We know each other's deepest and darkest secrets. We've beaten up each other to a pulp, knocking a few senses of realizations in each other's heads. And furthermore, we were like and treated each other like blood brothers. And again, thanks for that.
You might be wondering why I am being so damn emotional and thanking you all of a sudden, well, to tell you the truth, I won't be able to say these things to you personally since I would be long gone by the moment you read this letter. I already left this village.
I'm sorry Sasuke. I know that I am selfish for leaving without telling any of you, especially you since you're my best friend and what seems like it, my brother, as I have stated above. But I have my own reasons for leaving.
I know that you are painfully aware of the spiteful stares that people throw my way whenever I pass by them right? And I'm sure that you are wondering why… You have asked me about that before and I just shrugged. And now, it is best that you can ask the Godaime about that…
Get stronger Sasuke. Who knows when our paths will meet again, and if it does, we can never say if we become enemies by then or not. And don't you even dare try and think of bringing my ass back in Konoha for I'd rather kill myself than take a pitiful step in that village.
Ja, sayonara…
Uzumaki Naruto
Onigiri forgotten, Sasuke stared dumfounded at the letter in his hands.
What the hell! That dobe has a lot of nerve just to break in and – oh god… That dream…Sasuke was cut off in his thought when he heard a loud knock on his door. With the letter still in his hand, he hastily went to his front door, hoping, silently praying that it was all just a practical joke that Naruto decided to play.
But his prayers weren't heard. He had found a Chuunin on his doorstep, ushering him to immediately proceed at that very moment to Tsunade's office.
Dread had run down and up his spine as he disappeared along side the Chuunin.
- - - -
Jiraiya, the perverted white-haired toad sannin had woken up to an eerie feeling of trepidation. He had been getting that odd feeling the past few days as if it was a sign that there was something big about to happen.
And indeed, something was about to shock him.
He was thinking of what to do that day when a white envelope caught his attention. Knowing him, being a pervert and all, immediately lunged the envelope and opened it up with glee, thinking that it might have been some beautiful, young, curvaceous woman sending him a love note or something.
But that glee was wiped off his face replacing it with gloom and utter disbelief when he had read the contents of the said letter.
Ero-sennin,
Just wanted to say thanks for accepting me, as your apprentice and I want to apologize for being rude and a major pain in the ass for making your life miserable.
Thanks for being such a great teacher even though you mix your lessons with your utter perverseness and literally, I am thankful that your lecherous ways didn't rub off on me. I don't want to see myself 35 years from now doing what you do best; you know what I mean...
Anyway, right now, I know you are wondering what your dead-last student has gotten in to for writing and leaving you a note. All I can say is that, right now, you are free from your annoying student and that I am no longer anywhere in Fire country. In other words, I am erasing myself from Konoha.
I'm quite sure that when the villagers hear about this, they would be whooping for joy since the demon that almost destroyed their village 17 years ago is finally gone. For them, I was like a walking time bomb just waiting to explode. Perhaps they were right, I am a walking time bomb. That's why I am doing them and myself a favor.
Sensei, I'm tired and fed up from hearing those angry words and curses from the villagers. I know that I shouldn't let it get to me but let's put it this way, try putting your self in my shoes and try to ignore all those angry words, those insufferable glares from the moment you start questioning your self, "What have I done to receive such extreme hatred and disgust?"
I'm tired of pretending that I'm happy with my life. I'm tired of wearing and taking off my mask every single day of my life.
I don't know if we'll ever see each other again, but I'm praying that we don't, because first of all, I don't want to return to that village and second, I don't know what face I'm going to be wearing if we ever do see each other in the future... But if we ever do meet, all I can say is that I won't be the same Naruto that everyone has come to know.
I'm sorry for not confiding to you about my problems or to any of you for that matter. It's just my selfishness.
In my existence, I have come to know that in this life, that there are people who truly understands others and those who only care about themselves.
Sensei, thanks for putting up and firmly believing in me.
Sayonara…
Uzumaki NarutoJiraiya read the letter twice before doing a few hand seals as disappeared in a puff of smoke only to re-appear in Naruto's seemingly empty apartment and noticed how clean Naruto's apartment was. Calling out the name of his student and searching for him in every room, part of the reality had finally sunk in as he quickly made his way to Tsunade to confirm yet of his worst fear.
Arriving at the Hokage Tower moments after Tsunade had dished out orders.
"Tsunade! Naruto, he…" Jiraiya paused in mid sentence when he saw the disheartened look in Tsunade's face.
"Jiraiya…"
The toad sannin's name was the only thing she could muster to say as she handed him the letter that Naruto left her.
After reading the letter, he handed Tsunade the letter that Naruto left him.
"He's experienced so much pain at such a young age." Jiraiya said as he helped Tsunade to walk to the couch. Tsunade only held on to the necklace tighter hoping that Naruto haven't gone that far yet and that he would return to them.
- - - -
For a start, Hatake Kakashi, the infamous Copy-Nin or Sharingan Kakashi woke up early that day. Weird though since he and his team didn't have any particularly important or specific mission that day and their meeting time isn't till 9am.
But what had woken him up early that day was because of a dream - a dream about a certain blue-eyed blonde that he had secretly harbored feelings for in the past five and a half years.
The Jounin was panting heavily; cold sweat was running down his temples and down his back when he abruptly sat up. His heart, for some reason, was twisting inside his chest painfully. Catching his breath, Kakashi closed his eyes as he remembered the dream that he just had.
Naruto was standing there at his side at the Hokage Monument. They were watching the horizon along with the sunset. He was standing very close to the boy when he felt his hand being held. He looked at Naruto, surprised when cerulean eyes met with his. But there was something in those deep blue pools that held him. It was sadness and longing.
Ha had opened his mouth to say something that moment but was cut off when everything in their surroundings turned pitch black. When he had turned his head back at Naruto, he saw that he was crying and had his hand stretched out to him. He had tried to grab hold of it but as he reached out, Naruto seemed to have been pulled away from him.
He called out to Naruto who still had his hand stretched out, reaching for him.
At that moment, he had seen a pair of arms wound itself around Naruto, pulling him in an embrace as a figure gradually appeared behind the boy, showing the owner of those arms. He wasn't able to see the face of the person behind Naruto. The only thing he could clearly point out was the black cloak that was dancing along with the invincible wind that played along in the nothingness.
The cloaked figure had lowered its head alongside Naruto's ear whispering words that seemed to have Naruto entranced. He saw that Naruto was slowly being pulled into the darkness of the abyss as the figure kissed Naruto fully on the lips.
He had awoken that very instant. The only thing he remembered from the unknown figure in his dream was the black cloak…printed with red clouds. And that cloak belonged to an infamous group of missing-nins, the Akatsuki.
He knew that the Akatsuki was after Naruto because of the Kyuubi no Youko that was sealed inside him, however, Naruto being calmly taken away and the same time being kissed was something that had greatly set him into unease.
He lay back down in bed trying to figure out the dream and at the same time, muse about the blue-eyed blonde.
He thought about the first time he had met the boy. It was the first time he had met with his team. He instantly fell in love with the boy, even though he knew it was wrong, he couldn't help his feelings. Those crystal blue eyes, the shiny, unkempt mop of golden blonde strands that played with the wind, the tanned skin and those soft whiskered cheeks.
In every mission they had, whenever the boy slept, he would be awake and watch him sleep. It somehow made all his worries go away just seeing the innocence lying down right next to him.
But simple things in life also had to change along with time.
Recently, he had noticed the distance of the boy towards him and to the rest of the team. Genuinely, he was sad and angry: sad, because Naruto seemed to be isolating himself, angry, because he couldn't figure out what to do about it.
He was upset when Naruto was aloof towards him and his caring-and-worried-teacher advances. Usually, when he said that he would treat Naruto for ramen, the boy would automatically cling on to him for dear life. But now, Naruto would just brush it off, taking a rain check on their so-called 'date' saying that he had to do something important.
All this time, he had wanted to reach out to Naruto. He had badly wanted to hold the boy in his arms and tell him how much he loved him. But he couldn't since he had too much things to think about, or just to plainly put it: he was too much of a coward to do so.
Sighing in defeat, Kakashi got out of bed since there was no use going back to sleep. He went to freshen up and have breakfast, which consisted only of toast, a couple of fruits and orange juice.
He then noticed a white envelope and a small package lying on top of the side table where he placed his house keys.
What the… How did this end up here?He picked up the letter and saw his name nicely written in Kanji leaving the package to be opened for later. He had no idea why his heart was beating faster or the fact why his insides were twisting. He opened the letter and began to read.
Kakashi-sensei,
I hope you're not too lazy to read this for this will be the first and last letter you will be getting from me. Sensei, I am writing to you because I just wanted to apologize, say goodbye and thank you.
I apologize for my annoying behavior and for the times that I have disappointed you. I only wanted to impress you so that I can mean something to you as a student, as a person. I wanted to be something, someone in your eyes, not that loud and obnoxious trouble making, demon brat that everyone in the village has come to know.
When I first met you, I had hoped that you would be different. Different in a way that you would see us, team 7, as individuals with different specialties - and that you did. However, you only saw Sasuke and Sakura. And that fact hurt me like hell. Sasuke was your prized student and Ion the other hand, was nothing but another student… It seems stupid to be jealous over it but that's just the way I feel.
I did my best and gave all and everything that I can just to show you that I am worth something.
But as it seems, it's just not enough.
I want to thank you however for teaching us the value of not leaving our comrades at the battlefield. And I also want to thank you for trusting us, for believing in us during the Chuunin selection exams.
Along with this, I would like to say goodbye. Goodbye, since from this moment, Uzumaki Naruto is no longer a part of team 7 or a student of Hatake Kakashi for that matter. From this moment, I am no longer anywhere near in Konohagakure no Sato.
Sensei, I don't know how to tell you this, but for the longest time ever, I have loved you. Yes, I, the great Uzumaki Naruto who once said that I was going to be the next Hokage, fell in love with his own teacher, YOU! You sorry excuse for a perverted, Jounin teacher! I don't know what I saw in you that made me fall for you but I have no regrets of ever meeting you or falling in love in with you!
Ever since that day on our first C-class mission to assist Tazuna-san, I realized that I have fallen for you. I tried to fight it, tried to think of ways to just forget you… I did what I can to stop myself from falling but every time I did, I always ended up falling harder.
Remember the time when you handed us our applications for the Chuunin exam, and I jumped on you and started saying how much I love you back then? I have meant every word, though the jumping part was unexpected of me. I didn't realize that I hugged you back then until I got home.
Right now, you might think that I'm stupid or even crazy out of my mind, but I don't care. In fact, I don't give a shit of what others might think if they heard me screaming my heart out. I don't really care about that now anymore, but to be honest, I'm scared of admitting it to you. You are or should I say, you were after all my teacher.
Don't bother about what to say or think or what to do the next time you meet up with team 7 since, as I've said, I won't be there. I'm not certain if our paths will cross again, but if that day comes, the only thing I can assure you is that I am no longer the same Naruto that all of you has come to know. I will become neither a friend nor comrade of Konoha.
All that I am certain of as well is that I will forget you… My feelings for you… I will get over these feelings that I've felt over the years and move on with my life…
Sayonara, Hatake Kakashi… Sayonara…
Uzumaki Naruto
Kakashi was frozen on the spot… Realization had hit him like waves thundering painfully over the shore.
It can't be… No… Naruto couldn't possibly leave… He just can't…
His student, the love of his life felt the same for him.
His student, the love of his life was leaving, more so, has left Konoha.
Has left him…
Kakashi stood there for what it seemed like eternity. He felt like being splashed by a bucket of ice-cold water, waking him up from the painful realizations that he had just discovered.
Right then, a knock resounded through the hollowness of the room.
Shuffling to the door, he was met by Chuunin who had told him to come with him immediately as the Godaime Hokage requests their audience at the Hokage Tower.
From that very moment, he knew that Naruto had indeed left him.
Naruto…The silver-haired jounin wasted no time as he disappeared in a clod of smoke along with the Chuunin.
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Naruto had eventually sent all of them a letter and that was evident in the varied display of emotions clearly written and stated in their eyes and faces.
"Hokage-sama! Is this true!"
"We're not yet certain Iruka-sensei. His apartment was empty when Shizune went there." Tsunade stated, her hands clasped together, her eyes and features laced with worry.
"His apartment was clean, yet all of his clothes and belongings were still there." Shizune added.
"I've already sent out a couple of ANBU's to look for him. According to those who were on duty, they didn't see anyone enter or leave the gates of Konoha this morning nor did anyone see Naruto approaching the tower."
"So that could mean that he could be anywhere at this moment!"
"Kiba, calm down." Kurenai-sensei placed a hand on her student's shoulder.
"Hokage-sama, in my letter, Naruto had mentioned about the village seeing him as a monster… Hokage-sama, what did he mean by saying that…" Sakura looked at the Hokage with questioning eyes.
Tsunade looked up from her hands at Sakura before turning to the white-haired sannin who was leaning against the wall behind her. He gave her an approving nod. It was about time anyway that they knew about Naruto and him being the Kyuubi's vessel.
"All of you know the story about how the village was attacked by the Kyuubi no Youko, don't you?" Tsunade started as she began to narrate. All of them nodded except for the Jounin teachers and Iruka, waiting for her to continue, wondering what the nine-tailed demon fox had to do with Naruto.
"In your generation, it was told in a different manner. True that the Yondaime died in order to save the village but he didn't outright kill the nine-tailed fox. He sealed it. Do you know when Naruto's birthday is?"
"October 10." Sakura replied.
"And what else is celebrated on that day?" Tsunade inquired further.
The Jounin teachers and Iruka silently prayed that their student's hearts and minds would not be clouded after this like as to those of the villagers.
"The Kyuubi no Youko's…" Neji started but didn't finish as realization hit all of them.
"Hokage-sama, are telling us that the Kyuubi was sealed in Naruto-kun!" Lee exclaimed.
"Yes Lee, you are correct. Your generation was taught to believe that the Yondaime died while killing the demon fox, whereas in truth, he died giving up his life in order to seal the demon inside a baby boy. And that baby boy was Naruto. The Sandaime made a decree back then that the truth will be spoken of freely and not to be told to Naruto. Those who did otherwise were to be punished accordingly.
"But that decree was not enough. Some of the elders and those who were victims of the Kyuubi's rampage back then still hold a grudge and whenever they see Naruto, they prefer him dead." Tsunade grimaced on the last word.
"They didn't see Naruto as a vessel, a hero who helped save this village. They saw him as the demon itself, therefore, as he was growing up, the village loathed and despised him for what he is." Jiraiya added, his eyes hidden behind his hair.
"All of us thought that he was just another trouble making prankster. But what we didn't see is that he was just seeking a different kind of attention far away from the ones he grew up with." Iruka said in a sad voice.
"Naruto had been wearing a mask all this time just to hide his pain. All these years, all he wanted was to become a strong Shinobi who fought for Konoha. He trained hard and worked even harder so that the people around him can see.
He dreamed of becoming a Hokage, that was his main goal in life so he can do what he loved most, to protect this village, become a good leader and surpass all the former Hokage's. However, everything has its limits. And Naruto had reached his." Jiraiya brought a hand to massage his temples.
"He's only seventeen but he has went through more pain and suffering than all of us here can ever imagine. He grew up without parents, not even knowing who they were, then there were the villagers who treated him like scum. For what I know, as child he was mobbed and beaten up. Growing up for him was virtually like hell, having to wake up every single day, expecting the worst to come." Tsunade didn't realize it but tears were rolling down her cheeks.
All of Rookie 9 was silent. The girls were weeping, the boys had their eyes downcast whilst shaking in both anger because they were so blind to see and shame because they never knew what their friend had been going through. They had been too blind to see behind his cheerful, not-a-care-in-the-world mask.
The teachers too and Iruka were taken aback with the Hokage's last piece of information. They felt their insides twisting badly.
Kakashi for that matter had his head bowed low, his nails digging in painfully in the soft flesh of his palm drawing out small droplets of blood. He wanted to get out of the room, go somewhere and vent all his pent up emotions, his frustrations, anger, disappointment, sorrow and sadness. But he couldn't, he can't for that moment for that moment itself was fate's cruel and harsh punishment.
Reality had hit them that moment. And reality bites back rather painfully than expected.
Everything was lost from that moment. Everything, all hopes and dreams, had gone down along with the rain.
- - - - - - - - - - -TBC (?)
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That question mark will symbolize my inner debate whether or not I should continue… So for now, TBC will do…
I've been listening to too much sentimental music off the Naruto OST's… This chapter really had me crying. I was trying to visualize and feel the emotions of each of the characters and I happen to over do it… (sweatdrops)
Authoress' Note:
How did those letters end up inside their places? Well, Naruto IS a ninja isn't he? So let's just say that because of what was and had happened to him, he is able to get inside their private spaces and leave the letters for each and every one of them.
I told you that this was going to be a long chapter! Oh, and did you notice? Kakashi's part, musings and all, is longer than most… (Smiles)
Anyway, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Tell me! Leave me a review! And do take in mind that FLAMES are only used to roast chickens to perfection… (Smiles)
Sorry for the errors if there are any since my beta-reader is still hibernating…
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Blue: (in her own musings) Gah! Kill me now! I don't want to do any more classroom observations!
Naruto: Anou, Blue-chan, why am I suddenly some sort of burglar breaking in to their houses just leave them goodbyes and a love letter?
Blue: (stops from her personal musings) Huh? Oh! It is raining in Konoha… And I want them to instantly see your letters by the time they get out of bed. So stop complaining…
Itachi: Ne, Blue-chan! (Whiny voice) Is this the last chapter?
Naruto: Is this it?
Blue: Huh? (Blink) (Blink)
Kakashi: Why do you keep doing that?
Naruto: I think she's sleepy…
Blue: Zzz….
Kakashi: Read and review people!
Naruto: Is there a next chapter?
Itachi: Probably… God knows… Just read and review people!
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