Disclaimer - I do not own House M.D., or any of its beautiful characters.
Chapter 4.
The rest of the week, House brainstormed about what to say to Cameron when she returned. It had been an awkward parting that night, and he couldn't leave it at that. His normal self usually would, but he was not his normal self lately. It was driving him mad. From the day she had left his apartment Monday night, to the drive to work on Monday morning of the following week, he had no idea what to expect. This is the first time he was going to see her since she left to attend her father's funeral for the week, and he was definitely not looking forward to it.
He arrived at the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital's parking garage. He was about to come up to Cameron's parking space. He hoped it was empty. He hoped he wouldn't have to talk to her. She was probably going to want to talk about what had happened and follow him around all day anyway. He came up to her spot and saw that it was there. He sighed and parked.
In hopes to avoid Cameron, House signed in and immediately started his clinic duty. Unfortunately, Cameron had witnessed this apocalypse of House and her curiosity just had to report this to Dr. Cuddy.
"Does it hurt anywhere else besides your happy place, mister…?," House asked his idiot for a patient.
"Sims."
"Sims," House repeated.
"Um. Not really?"
"So, just how many hours of porno do you have on your computer?"
"Excuse me?
"What? It's a medical question. A doctor just must know these sorta things. Death is something we do not want happening in this hospital," House sarcastically replied, trying to sound serious.
"Um."
Cuddy burst into the exam room expecting to see House sleeping, but he was actually, to her surprise, with a patient. She stared oddly at the two people in the room while she stood in the doorway.
"Well," Mr. Sims embarrassingly continued, "I might have some several hours of pornographic videos on my computer."
Cuddy looked on wide-eyed in confusion.
House simply smirked at Cuddy and continued with the patient, "And just how many times might have you touched your happy place while watching these pornographic videos, Mr. Sims?."
House turned back to Cuddy with a smug look which caused her to back out of the room. She saw Cameron waiting for her 411 on House's situation.
"He's talking about porn and masturbation with a patient," Cuddy informed Cameron.
"He's actually with a patient?," Cameron asked ignoring the porn and masturbation comments.
"Yes."
Cameron tilted her head and had to see for herself.
"Er. I guess I do touch it down there quite often," the patient answered.
"Ah. I see. And do you use any lubrication, Mr. Sims?," House asked nosily.
"Uhh, is this really necessary, Dr. House?," Mr. Sims asked embarrassingly.
"Hey, man, if you don't wanna die you gotta spill the beans," House smirked.
Cameron came into the exam room as Mr. Sims answered. House felt his heart race in her presence.
"No, I do not use lubrication when I masturbate," Mr. Sims replied.
House watched as Cameron gave the same exact look Cuddy had given five minutes earlier. 'Way cuter on Cameron,' House thought to himself. He shook his head to rid his thoughts and to proceed with the patient.
House went on, "Ah! I see. Hmm. What we've got here is quite the dilemma, Mr. Sims."
"Oh god. I'm going to die?!"
Cameron rolled her eyes at the patient's idiocy.
"No. You're going to rub away your penis if you continue playing with Mr. Midnight down there so much," House said.
Cameron gave a shocked look at her boss's straight-forward response.
House got up from his seat and headed toward the door.
"Less porn, more lube," House told the patient.
He stopped in the doorway where Cameron was standing and looked down at her.
"Pshh. Men!," House said snarkily rolling his eyes and quickly left for his lunch break to avoid Dr. Cameron.
House returned from lunch and entered the conference room.
"Differential diagnosis people!" House said, trying to conceal his nervousness of the inevitable personal chat he would soon have with Cameron.
The three inferiors oddly looked at each other in confusion about their boss's statement.
"Err. We don't have any cases," Chase said.
"Yeah, since Cameron was out the past week, we didn't have anyone looking for cases that would've sufficed your interest needs," Foreman added playing with his pen.
"The one day I'm actually looking forward to work on some case, you've got nothing for me." House extended his cane and sharply poked Cameron in the shoulder. He may have always treated her like garbage, but it was always an act to cover up his true feelings because showing them was not a House thing to do.
"Sorry for causing you to work oh-so-hard, House," Cameron replied a bit more snarkily than usual.
House sensed she was still affected by the happenings of last Monday.
"Hmm," House hummed. "Okay then. Continue playing with your pens, your crosswords, yourselves, and don't bother me."
He hobbled into his office leaving the ducklings sitting their watching him exit the conference. Foreman and Chase both shrugged and continued doing nothing. Cameron, however, felt like she couldn't just sit there while people were dying without their help. Doing nothing was not a Cameron thing to do. Before she went to work, she told herself to try to avoid House today. She couldn't stand to see or talk to him, but she had to put him in his place.
He sat down at his desk and took out his iPod from his drawer. He inserted the earphones in his ears and blasted his music as Cameron entered his office. She didn't step any deeper into the room than by the door, keeping a fair distance apart from him.
"House! People are dying and you don't care?!," Cameron shouted over the monotone music which was audible from her distance.
"Huh?! People are lying about their private hair!?," House shouted back.
Cameron's shoulders slumped down and she sighed.
"House," Cameron said seriously.
House read her lips and saw her frustration. He removed his earphones and slowly walked up to Cameron. Cameron watched what he was doing. She watched every single slow step dreadfully, holding her breath, trying not to break. What the hell was he doing? He had finally reached her and stopped right in front of her. Cameron immediately straightened her slouched shoulders as House stared at her silently.
Cameron was the first to speak. "We need a case," Cameron nearly whispered, voice shaky. "I can look through-"
She stopped as she saw House leaning forward towards her lips. She let out a little gasp of air and held her breath. House neared her lips, but kept leaning forward until he was breathing down her neck and into her ear. Cameron swallowed a dry knot in her throat.
"You're creeping me out," she said in a high-pitched whisper.
House smirked allowing his whiskers to touch Cameron's soft, rosy cheek, and did not say a word. They stood there for what seemed like an eternity for Cameron. Has he gone insane?
Cameron remembered what she came into his office for. In attempts to get herself out of the knee-melting situation her crush had put her in, she tried to continue. "I, uhh, can look through your mail for any cases…"
At that moment House inhaled audibly to smell Cameron's coconut and lavender scent and exhaled onto her pale skin. Cameron closed her eyes as House's hot breath warmed her neck.
House lips lightly brushed against Cameron's ear as he softly spoke, "I have to pee."
Cameron was still caught up in the moment. After realizing the non-romantic words she wasn't exactly hoping for, which she always found charming, that House just had said, she opened her eyes. She saw him through the glass walls of his office walking in the hallway. She smiled as she caught a light, but rare smile from her boss.
If toying with Cameron's feelings was the only way to avoid having a personal conversation with her, then be it. He smiled. He didn't know if it was the avoidance of an annoying chat that got him to smile, or the fact that he knew he would have to do something like this again many times in the near future. He did like coconut and lavender after all very, very much.