Alex walked away form Izzie's room and toward to the cafeteria. He wasn't really hungry but he needed to get away. He needed space to think. He needed to work out an answer to Izzie's question that wasn't a lie but wasn't the truth either. He didn't want to tell her the truth, he didn't even want to think about the truth. He was ashamed of the things he'd done. It had taken Izzie a long time to forgive him for what he did, a long time for her to let him in again. He was afraid that if he went there, if he went back into the past he'd hurt her all over again. He didn't want to do that, he didn't want to hurt her again, especially not now.

He reached the cafeteria and joined the queue. He filled his tray with food and paid the cashier. He found an empty table and sat down. He ignored the few stares that people gave him. He was used to them by now and there wasn't that many anymore. He poked at the salad on his tray but he didn't eat it.

He was still playing with his food when Meredith, George and Christina came over to his table and sat down.

"Hey Alex," Meredith said. "We were just about to head up to Izzie's room when we saw you sitting here. What's going on?"

"Oh." Alex had forgotten that he'd told them to come over at lunch time. "Yeah. Izzie's sleeping." He lied, Izzie wasn't sleeping, at least not when he left the room. "I just needed to get out of the room for a while." He continued and started to get up. "I should probably head back."

"No Alex stay." Meredith reached out and placed a hand on his should. "Sit down, talk to us." Alex sat back down at the table. "Tell us about Izzie. How is she doing today?"

"She's doing alright." There was an awkward silence so Alex continued. "She had a physiotherapy session this morning. She cried all the way through it. She didn't want to do it. I had to bribe her with the promise of memories to get her to cooperate."

The others nodded taking in what Alex was saying. "How did she react to the memories when you told her?"

"She was good. She seemed to take it all in. She wanted to know about us. About me and her." Alex paused thinking about the last question she'd asked him. "She wants to know about Denny."

"What?" The others all said in unison. "She actually said Denny?"

"No. She wants to know why it took us two years to get together. I don't know how to answer without talking about Denny."

"Oh." The others understood what he was getting out. "What did you tell her?"

"I didn't tell her anything. I left the room."

"What are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know. I was kind of hoping that when I got back she'd have forgotten she'd asked the question."

"Alex!" Meredith and George both exclaimed, they were shocked that he'd say something like that.

"I know. We want her to remember not forget. But I don't know what to say to her."

Alex paused. He was hoping one of the others might talk, offer him some advice but they didn't say anything so he continued thinking out loud. "I don't want to talk about him. I can't explain him to her. I can't possibly explain to her what she felt for him, why she fell for him so hard and so fast. I can't describe the grief she felt when he died and I don't want to. I don't want to dig up that part of the past because it's over. He's dead, he's gone, he's not coming back, he can't help her. But if I don't tell her about him what do I tell her?"

Alex looked down at his food. He poked at it with his fork. He didn't continue, he was waiting for the others to talk, offer him some advice. They sat in silence for almost five minutes before Christina and George's pages went off. They excused themselves from the table leaving Alex and Meredith alone.

"Tell her" Meredith said changing seats so she was next to Alex. "There was someone else. Another man who she fell in love with. Tell her the other man died and you waited until she was ready to let someone else in."

Alex listened to Meredith's words. They made sense. When she said them they sounded easy but he wasn't sure about it.

"What if she wants to know more?" He asked.

"Tell her everything you know." Meredith began again. "Or tell her you don't know. But you have to tell her something. You have to tell her about Denny in some way or form. You don't have to use his name but you have to tell her something."

"Why?"

"Because it's the truth, because you said you can't lie to her. Because she might remember herself some day and then what would happen?"

Alex didn't respond to Meredith's statements. He knew she was right or she at least made a good point. But he still didn't want to talk about it. He still didn't want to tell Izzie about Denny. A little part of him was afraid that if he told her about him, she might not love him as much. That she'd mourn her loss again. That he'd be forced to sit on the sideline and wait again. He didn't want to wait. Izzie needed him and he needed her. He was still thinking about what Meredith had said when her pager went off. She looked down at it and swore.

"Shit." She said. "I've got to run Alex. I'll come up tonight after my shift and see you and Izzie okay."

"Yeah sure thing." Alex said as Meredith ran out of the cafeteria. He looked down at his plate of food. What had once resembled something edible now looked like a pile of mush. He thought about throwing it out but now he was hungry. Well not really hungry, he felt more, empty, but he thought food might help. Slowly he began shoveling the food into his mouth. It tasted horrible but he kept eating until it was all gone. Then he sat and watched the people as they walked by. He didn't want to go back to Izzie's room. Not yet. He wasn't ready, but a part of him thought he'd never be ready. Never ready to completely answer Izzie's questions. After a while he left the cafeteria. He wandered the halls of the hospital until he wandered all the way out the front door.

He found himself wandering away from the hospital and toward the book store. It was funny he thought. He never went to the book store before but now it was becoming one of his favorite places. He liked the smell of it but if anyone asked him he'd deny it. He liked the peace that the store offered, it was always quite in there. And he liked the idea of books and escaping reality. That was another thing he wouldn't admit to anyone, sometimes he just wanted to run away from it all. He brought a new book and walked back to the hospital. He'd been gone nearly six hours.

He caught the elevator to the second floor. He wondered how Izzie was, this was the longest he'd been away from her during the day. This was the first time she'd been alone during the day. He hoped she was okay, and then he shook his head, of course she was okay. They would have found a way to contact him if she wasn't. The hoped off the elevator and walked toward Izzie's room. When he arrived there is was completely empty.

Alex stared at the room and his heart did a little back flip. He immediately began to think the worse. Images of the last time this had happened began flooding through his head. He walked back to the nurse station and asked as calmly as he could where she was. The nurse checked her records and smiled at him.

"She was transferred to the fourth floor, room 4238, about an hour ago."

Alex breathed a sigh of relief and ran back to the elevator. He'd missed a lot. He was supposed to be there when they transferred her. He'd promised her he'd be there. He couldn't believe he'd missed it. But then he'd been gone six hours that wasn't the only thing he'd missed.

He reached the fourth floor and Izzie's room in a matter of minutes. When he got there he heard talking coming from inside. At first he thought maybe it was Meredith but it was still too early for them to be there. He walked into the room and found Izzie in there with her speech therapist. They were doing exercises to improve her voice projection.

The therapist smiled at Alex as he walked over to them. Izzie didn't smile. Instead, using the exercises she'd just been practicing she said as loud as she could "Where were you?"

Alex stared back at Izzie shocked. This was the first time since the shooting that she hadn't looked pleased to see him. She looked pissed.

a/n: The next part is almost finished so please review and I'll get it up shortly. It's great seeing people enjoying the story. Thank you.