Alex poured two glasses of orange juice and placed them on the tray beside the very large plate of eggs, bacon, sausage, and mushroom he'd just made. It was Izzie's first morning home and Alex wanted to do something nice for her. He wanted to surprise her, butter her up and make her happy before he told her about the phone calls he'd been making.

He carried the tray into the bedroom. Izzie was sitting up in the bed flipping through a magazine, she wasn't reading it, she wasn't even looking at the pictures she was just flipping the pages.

"Good morning." He said as he placed the tray across her lap and kissed her cheek. "I hope you're hungry."

"Starving." She smiled at him.

He picked up a piece of bacon and placed it in her mouth. "Good."

They sat on the bed together and slowly ate the food. Alex kept his mouth and Izzie's full; he wanted to avoid the small talk. He was looking for the right moment to bring Sarah, the nurse he'd hired, into the conversation. He didn't want to spring the news on Izzie but, by the time they'd finished eating he still hadn't mentioned her.

"Iz," He began placing the last piece of bacon in her mouth. "There's someone coming over this afternoon to meet you."

She swallowed and looked over at him confused. "Who?" she asked.

"Her name is Sarah, she's a nurse."

Izzie turned away. The first signs of betrayal began creeping across her face. "I don't want to meet any nurses."

Alex adjusted his position on the bed. He tried to make her look at him. "I think you'll like her. She's really nice." He'd spoken to Sarah on the phone the night before after Izzie had gone to sleep. He had a really good feeling about her.

"I don't care. I don't need any more nurses." She turned around and kissed him. He wasn't expecting that, for a second he almost didn't tell her but he had to tell her.

"Actually Iz, you do." She pulled away from him.

"What?" Alex reached down and grabbed her hand. He took a deep breath and mentally braced himself for her next reaction.

"I'm going back to work. Someone needs to be home with you."

She looked back at him, if he'd thought she looked confused or betrayed before it was nothing to how she looked now. She didn't understand what he was saying. Was he leaving her, was he going off without her, was he leaving her behind? She couldn't make sense of it so she didn't say anything.

"Iz, say something." Alex said after sitting in silence for five minutes.

She turned to face him. All the thoughts and feelings that had been running through her mind combined to form one simple word. "Why?" A tear trickled down her face. "Don't you love me anymore?" That was the only thing she could think of. Why else would he be doing this to her. Why else would he be leaving her in the care of a stranger?

Alex looked back at Izzie, this decision hurt him as much as it hurt her. When she hurt, he hurt, but he knew he had to do this, if they were going to survive, he needed to do this. He moved closer to her and embraced her as tightly as he could. "I love you." He whispered into her ear. "I love you, that's why I have to do this."

He didn't know how to make her understand. He didn't know how to tell her that being with her twenty four seven was slowly driving him insane. He didn't know how to explain how he felt when he was with her, a strange combination of love and loathing. He loved her, he wanted to protect her, he didn't want to hurt her but…being in that OR was the happiest he'd felt in a long time.

"Trust me." He gently kissed the side of her cheek. "This is the right thing to do."

Izzie didn't say anything; she was still trying to process what was happening. But she couldn't make sense of it. All she could hear was Alex telling her he loved her but he didn't want to be with her. She twisted out of his embrace; she didn't want him touching her anymore. If he didn't want to be with her she didn't want to be with him.

"Go away." She said pushing him away.

"Iz." He tried to reach out for her but she kept pushing him. "I'm not trying to hurt you here. I just have to do this."

She didn't say anything. Every time he tried to touch her she pushed him away. After sitting on the edge of the bed for five minutes in silence he walked away.

/\/\/\/\

Izzie stayed in the bedroom all morning. After Alex left he didn't come back. He cleaned the house and made phone calls to the hospital. If Izzie wanted to be stubborn he'd let her be stubborn. He needed to do this and he honestly believed that it was the best thing to do for both of them.

/\/\/\/\

Sarah arrived just after 1pm. Alex made them both coffee and they sat at the table and talked things over. Sarah was nicer in person than she was on the phone. She was friendly and up beat. She was tall and had long blond hair. She reminded Alex a lot of Izzie before. She'd only been working as a nurse for three years but she had a wealth of experience. Her older brother was injured in a car accident when she was fifteen and she'd helped care for him until he'd died four years ago.

They talked mainly logistics and conditions. When she'd be required and when she'd be able to work. Alex wanted her six days a week but she could only work five. In the end they agreed that she'd work Monday to Friday, on Saturday the agency would send someone else. She'd arrive at 5:50am and stay until Alex came home, hopefully not later than 6:30pm.

/\/\/\/\

Izzie sat in room and listened to Alex and this nurse Sarah talk. She could hear them talking about her, and she could hear them laughing. She wondered what Alex was saying about her, she wondered if they were laughing at her or if the laughing had nothing to do with her. She was curious and after an hour of just listening she got up and walked over to the door.

She stood cautiously in the doorway. She wasn't sure what she should do so she waited for them to see her. Sarah saw her first.

"You must be Izzie." She said walking over to her and holding out her hand in greeting. "I'm Sarah."

Izzie smiled politely and shook Sarah's hand. Then she grabbed it even harder as she began to lose her balance.

"I've got you." Sarah said helping Izzie steady herself. "Still a bit wobbly there on your feet?"

"Yeah." Izzie said blushing. She was embarrassed.

/\/\/\/\

Alex sat back and watched the two women interact with each other. He was surprised at how well they were getting along. Izzie had actually smiled and shook her hand. It was the first time she'd met anyone new and not screamed at them to go away. They talked a little bit in the door way and then disappeared into the bedroom.

/\/\/\/\

Izzie hadn't planed on liking Sarah, she wanted to dislike her on principle but she couldn't help liking her. There was something about her which was different. She didn't make her feel like she was sick, she didn't make her feel like she needed to be looked after; she made her feel…like she was normal, like she was an actual person, an equal.

They chatted for almost two hours. Sarah did most of the talking. She told Izzie all about herself and everything she'd done in her life. She asked Izzie questions too, not about her life, Alex had made sure to mention that Izzie's memory of before the shooting was non existent, but about the future. Sarah asked her what she wanted to do tomorrow, the next day, a year from now. She'd never thought about these things before, she'd always been so in the present, the future hadn't even crossed her mind. By the time Sarah left they'd made plans for all of next week, not big plans, most of it was going shopping or visiting people, there were a lot of people Sarah wanted Izzie to meet.

/\/\/\/\

When Sarah left that afternoon she told Alex everything would be okay and Alex believed her. As the first days went by it soon became evident things weren't okay they were great.

Being back at work made Alex happy. It was hard work but he'd been missing it so much that he didn't mind. He loved being in the think of it all. And his time away from Izzie strengthened their relationship; he missed her during the day and couldn't wait to see her at night.

Izzie got better too. Everyday she seemed to be more and more like her old self. Sarah taught her coping techniques and introduced her to people who'd been through similar situations. Change didn't freak her out so much anymore and she was happier. She still didn't like Saturdays when Sarah wasn't there but she didn't lose control.

/\/\/\/\

Almost three weeks went by without incident. It was Saturday morning. Alex rolled over in the bed to say goodbye to Izzie but she wasn't there. Confused he climbed out of the bed and walked into the kitchen.

The sight he saw when he opened the door made his mouth drop. Izzie was standing in the kitchen, apron on, baking. Two trays of muffins already sat on the bench and she was just about to put in third.

"Morning." She smiled at him.

"Morning." Alex rubbed his eyes to make sure he really was seeing what he thought he was seeing.

Izzie hadn't baked since the shooting. She'd made a point of not baking. Whenever he'd suggested she try it, tell her she used to like baking she'd yelled at him. She'd tell him she'd changed, that she wasn't that person anymore. He'd stopped suggesting it really quickly. But here she was baking on her own accord.

"Izzie what are you doing?"

"Baking." She said with a smile. "What does it look like?"

"But why?"

"I don't know." She picked up a muffin and bit into it. "It just felt like the right thing to do."

/\/\/\/\

Alex took a bag of muffins to work with him.

"Catch." He yelled out as he threw them to Meredith, George and Christina.

They caught them and looked at them puzzled.

"Muffins?"

"Try them." He'd eaten one on the way in and there was no mistaking who'd made them. No body could bake like Izzie and these muffins were no exception.

Alex watched their faces waiting for their reaction. Cristina didn't seem to notice but Meredith and George did.

"Oh my god these taste like…" Meredith began with her mouth full.

"Izzie's muffins." George finished. "Did Izzie bake these?"

"Yep." Alex said with a smile. "I woke up this morning and she was in the kitchen baking."

/\/\/\/\

Word quickly spread across the hospital that Izzie Stevens was back in the kitchen. It wasn't quite the same as the OR but it was something. All the muffins Alex had brought in were gone within a couple of hours but Alex didn't notice. He was in the OR all day. The surgery he performed lasted ten hours. He finished up at 5pm and decided to give himself an early minute or hour.

He drove home smiling. He was looking forward to seeing Izzie today more than ever. He was anxious to see how much she'd ended up baking.

He parked his car and headed up the stairs. He didn't notice the extra car parked across the street. He walked through the door smiling but for the second time that day his jaw dropped. Izzie sat on the sofa, spread all around her and across the coffee table lay the photo albums she'd made him put away weeks earlier. In her hand she held a single photograph. She looked up when he closed the door. Tears streaked her face.

"Iz, what's going on?"

She reached up and wiped some of the tears away from her eyes. "You lied to me." She said.

"What?" He didn't know what she was talking about. He reached down and tried to place a hand on her shoulder but she pushed him away. "Iz?"

She took a deep breath and whispered softly. "I remember."

a/n: so umm yeah, Izzie is finally getting her memory back. Please review, I really appreciate it and it's a great motivator to write the next part.