Sirius had had so much fun writing that fanfic a couple of days ago, he was thrilled to find that the computer was back on the grounds again and brought it to the dorm. One fic interested him in particular, so he printed it and showed his friends.
"I can't believe this is what Lily thinks of me!" said James, after reading it.
"No? Honestly?" Remus asked.
"Shut up! I'm so not talking to you! All this time I thought you were my friend and then you go and do something like this!"
"Like what?"
"Taking Lily to the Three Broomsticks on a date!"
"It was a fic!"
"You know, I've always thought that Evans is a tight-assed shrew but this I won't stand for!" said Sirius and opened a new document and so began the writing of yet another fic.
Lily Evans isn't as great as she think she is
Evans was bored. Dorcas and Marlene were busy hiking in Nepal (or, that was their exscuse for not being able to hang out with the pighead), so she skipped down the stairs from the dorm, hoping to find someone to yell at.
"Hey, Potter! You suck! Did you know that?"
James, who had spent the whole day memorizing paragraphs from the Bible, looked up. "I'm sorry?"
"Don't talk to me, you creep!" Evans slapped him across his face, tugged his hair, kneed him in the crotch, twisted his-
James pushed Sirius off the chair. "Give me a break! I didn't even know what a Bible was until I tried to build a house with a bunch of them!"
"Ok, that might have been exaggerating a teensy bit but come on, don't you wanna avenge her?"
"No! I want her to wuv me!"
James continued where Sirius had left off.
-heart with her breathtaking beauty, and that really was the most painful thing she could ever do. As she kept on physically abusing him for filling her with emotions that were weird and deeply confusing, tears ran down her soft cheeks.
"Just...don't talk to me! Oh God help me I don't know what to do anymore!"
And then she threw herself in James' masculine arms, begging him to forgive her as she cried out againts his rippling pectorals.
"But...I thought you loved Remus"
"I just pretended to, so you would be jealous! Remus isn't half the man I need, he's like the sister I wanted Petunia to be, nothing more!"
"Excuse me? What did I ever do to you?!" said Remus, slapping and tugging and kneeing and twisting James everywhere imaginable.
"Ow ow ow ow ow ow! You do realize you're fighting like a girl right now? Ow ow..."
"Let he who hasn't tried to sew his own pair of hot pants throw the first stone!"
While James and Remus were beating the crap out of eachother, Sirius kept on writing.
Why Evans wanted him now all of a sudden was unknown. Was it because she had finally realized he was the only one that could stand her presence while every other guy couldn't care less if only two 2 of the world population has green eyes as she'd frequently point out? Either way, James wasn't sure if he was interested anymore.
"Stop wetting down my shirt, woman, for crying out loud!" he said, pushing her away from him.
"But...I thought you loved me! I am the most unique girl at this school! I'm peas and carrots combined, dammit!"
"So stick to Remus then, he's vegetarian! I can't believe it has taken me all these years to realize that I should have listened to Sirius from the beginning! Marlene really is hotter than you!"
Evans was so hurt she jumped out the window and died.
"We can write on the same story" said James. "Both of us clearly have two different wills"
"This was my story from the beginning, you're the one who ruined it"
Sirius posted the story on the internet, and James and Remus started working on a fic of their own.
(A/N: I wanted to have Snape writing a fic, but it was only natural that the marauders responded to Lily &co's fic because it was about them so...Anyway, thanks for the reviews!)