Detentions really could not be duller than the ones you spent scrubbing the entire floor in the Great Hall with a toothbrush, and James and Remus not talking did not help making it remotely standable.
"Boy did I hear a funny joke today!" said Sirius, trying to lighten the mood.
"If it's the one about the blushing tomato, don't bother, because I told you that one" James muttered.
Remus snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Footy" said James. "Kindly ask miss I-can-spell-every-word-in-the-universe what she's snorting over?"
"I'm not asking anyone anything"
"I don't blame you. If you accidentally say sneeeeuuuooort, you'll never hear the end of it"
"Pettiness, how manly" said Remus. "You didn't inject a gallon of testosterone into your veins while I was in the library, did you?"
"Footy, kindly tell miss I-become-a-moody-beast once a month that the word is testosteroblahargh"
"What a BURN! HOW did I NOT see THAT one coming! Well guess what! Sticks and stones can break my bones and Lily asked me out and I said I'd think about it!"
"Liar! I don't believe you!"
"Aaaand I think I'm done thinking now"
James turned to Sirius. "He's making this up, isn't he?"
Sirius shrugged. "How should I know?"
James poured the bucket of scouring water over Remus, who in turn responded to that by trying to fit his entire toothbrush in James' ear and for the second time of the day did Sirius wish that both of them were actual girls because that would have been much hotter to witness and got a chair to hit them both with.
"Stop hitting me, I'm kind of in the middle of something!" James yelled.
"No YOU listen to ME! None of you are manly right now, ok! In fact, you never are! Sure, Moony tells people off and reads Agatha Christie novels-"
"One time!"
"But you, Prongs, talk more about your feelings in one day than gay hippes do in a lifetime! And you know, it's the 70's, so it's ok to be in touch with your feminine side and all that and for men to hug. So everyone line up for a hug! Let's tear down some emotional walls"
Sirius reached out his arms.
"But that's not exactly what it's about anymore, now is it. If he promises he won't go out with Lily I'll be willing to forget the whole thing"
"Well...I'm not sure I can do that..." said Remus dramatically.
"Why not?!"
"Like I said, I'm thinking about it! You're just gonna have to wait until the next chapter is out!"
James stared at him.
"Haven't you read Lily's latest fic? The day Potter choked on an acid pop and everyone lived happily ever after?"
"I read that one..." said Sirius. "So Evans is MrsMarsbarluvr60..."
"She can keep writing those fics, everyone knows hate isn't the opposite of love anyway" said James, returning to cleaning the floor.
(A/N: I have no idea where I'm going with this...)