Important: Please Read!

The following fic is a small offshoot of my current fic "Ronin" with some references being made to my first TF fic, "The Departed".

If you're confused about certain elements within this one, you might want to skim/read through them to get the full backstory.

trigger happy07at post dot net

How Bee managed to jam an ion plasma gun is beyond my logic circuits! The black mech grumbled to himself.

Grabbing an ion calibration diagnostic tool that sat in front of him on his desk, the weapons specialist starting running a few calcalutions through it, waiting for the scan results.

With being next door to Optimus, the black Autobot knew that after a trying, hard day, peace and quiet awaited him within the privacy of his quarters. And after dealing with Starscream and his worthless hooligans on an unpredictable basis, peace and quiet were sometimes the only things that kept the massive black Bot sane.

About ready to start putting the results of the scan into the starting chip on the side of the weapon, a sudden beeping came through the laptop, breaking the silence throughout.

Immediately, the weapons specialist pulled up the email message he had been sent, figuring it had to be something urgent to be sent this late. But as he read through the text, seeing the question/answer type format, the black mech rolled his optics somewhat.

I swear that kid makes me wonder about him some days! He thought, but as he was getting ready to delete the message altogether, he stopped, sighing an exasperated sigh at himself. Oh for the love of Primus! I might as well humor him...

Does your name hold any significance in it's meaning?

Yeah…basically it means I can take a rocket launcher to the chest and still have enough energy rushing through me to get up and bust open a steel can of whoop aft on any Con' who gets in my way (You readin' this TC?).

Three words that best describes your self?

Big

Bad

Black

If you were another mech would you be friends with you?

That would depend…on whether or not I was in the mood...and no pity for you if you caught me on the day I wasn't…

When was the last time your optics flooded?

I wasn't happy over Jazz almost biting the dust…(Yeah, Jazz…it was like that…for all of us, really…now see what you've done, Bee? Making my emotional circuits start to twitch! I hope you're slaggin' happy! Don't expect me to ever cover for you again when Blue and you wanna hold another drag race out back! You're on your own, kid!)

Blowing things up or creating things to blow something up?

Now you're talking my kind of talk! Both are beautiful and fill me with immense pleasure, especially if it takes out as many Cons as possible (You readin' this TC?) A Bot's existence doesn't get much better than that!

Which Decepticon do you hate more? Starscream or Blackout?

I hate em' all equally. They aren't getting preferential treatment from me. Nuff' said. (Yeah, TC, I said all of them…although…I will admit, you aren't on the same insane level as Starscream…you at least have some shred of a logic circuit left…there, I said it, alright? Just don't go thinkin' we're gonna be pickin' out new throttle clusters together…matter of fact, there'd better NEVER be any thought about ANY of my systems in your logic circuits, EVER…)

Favorite earth color?

The only color that's right: RED

If you had a choice for another earth alt mode what would it be?

What else would I be…a farkin' piece of slag Seeker?

Earth or Cybertron?

Cybertron…before the war…the tattered remains that exist now don't do the planet any justice in the slightest.

What are you reading right now?

1,000 Ways to Disassemble a Decepticon Painfully

Drinking energon until your optics are seeing shooting stars or 'connecting' until your optics stay rolled to the back of your head?

Femmes are nuthin' but trouble…they'll get you every time…ain't worth it…not that I know from experience or anything…and one slaggin' peep from ANY of you about the one who nearly stripped me down to my bare circuitry and I will personally give ALL of you new reconfigs you WILL not enjoy! She lied to me! I've already told all of you that!!! (And don't think you're sly Bee and try to "work" this topic into a convo later on…I have very big, ugly toys that will do unsightly things to your exterior, SO DON'T EVEN TRY IT!!!!)

Do you like the mech who sent this to you?

Kid, do you have a self esteem problem? I'm replying to this senseless garbage, what do you think?

Favorite personal saying/quote?

"Make my slaggin' day."

"Feelin' lucky, punk?"

"Wow Ironhide, you just disintegrated Starscream into a pile of ash! Neat! Could you do it to the rest of them? Pretty please?" (Or at least…that's my ultimate wish to hear)

"Being blunt is simply giving the truth that others don't want to hear."

"Big guns. Big toys. Big fun."

Mech least likely to respond?

Not that I give a slag, but my guess would be TC.

Whom do you want to reply the most?

Given how he's always so tied up with a million other things and never gives himself any breathing room, I'm going to say Optimus.

C'mon Prime! Live a little!

Grumbling under his breath about yellow scouts who had to much time on their digits, the weapons specialist grudginlgy pressed the "Send" button and then went happily back to what he had been previously working on.