This chapter is somewhat sad, but, well, it demanded to be written. Hopefully I'll have the next one soon enough.

Yesterday, when I was mad

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

I struggle to understand where I am, what this annoying beeping is. I hear nothing but that beeping – and someone crying. And my chest hurts. Slowly, memories filter back.

'Darling, you were wonderful, you really were quite good

I enjoyed it, though, of course, no one understood

a word of what was going on, they didn't have a clue

They couldn't understand your sense of humour like I do'

I finally managed to gather the courage to speak to Raven about my feelings. I could have understood rejection. I could have understood anger. But this, this was far worse.

She laughed at me.

You're much too kind

I smiled with murder on my mind

And I could not even get angry at her. At the fact she considered this a joke.

Yesterday, when I was mad

and quite prepared to give up everything

admitting I don't believe

in anyone's sincerity and that's what's really got to me

Five minutes later, I sat in my room, holding a knife. The pain… It was too much. I lost so much already. So many. It was time to end this.

'You have a certain quality which really is unique

Expressionless, such irony, although your voice is weak

It doesn't really matter 'cause the music is so loud

Of course it's all on tape but no one will find out'

With soft musuc playing, I plunged the knife in my chest.

You hated me too

but not as much as I hated you

It was bliss, going away from all.

So that's what the sound is. Life support.

If I could, I would have cried. Why did I fail?

Yesterday, when I was mad

and quite prepared to give up everything

admitting I don't believe

in anyone's sincerity and that's what's really got to me

Suddenly, I realize who is crying. It's Raven. Now she decided to feel sorry? Yet despite myself, I am listening. Apparently, she tries to apologize.

Then when I was lonely

I thought again

and changed my mind

"I am so sorry, Beastboy. I just couldn't believe someone would like me for who I am. I thought you were laughing at me, so I laughed back."

After that, she sobbed for at least five minutes before she managed to speak the next words.

"It felt so horrible to me, seeing you there, lying in a pool of blood. It almost killed me, knowing I caused it. Please, Gar, just get better."

So, she thinks she can make up by using my pet name. Naaaah. No way.

Then we posed for pictures with the competition winners

and argued about the hotel rooms and where to go for dinner

and someone said: 'It's fabulous you're still around today

You've both made such a little go a very long way'

"Just get better. I promise you, I will go with you on a date in the best restaurant in the city."

Thinks me cheap, that girl. Won't fool me.

"The best restaurant in the country, in the world if you want to. On me."

Well, that's a bit better.

"Just come back to me. Please"

Yesterday, when I was mad

and quite prepared to give up everything

admitting I don't believe

in anyone's sincerity, and that's what's really got to me

Still not enough though. But what I hear next…

Then when I was lonely

I thought again

and changed my mind

"It took me a long time to realize. Too long, maybe." She sobbed. "I love you. Please come back to me."

Well, maybe I should consider her offer.