Questions:
Ray-Tiger-Cat's Question: How come Tori's parents don't want to spend her few months with her?
Answer: They will be entering the fic very soon, they will cause some problems also but the reason they aren't there with her at the moment is because you will find that Tori had one request; that when she died she would be settled in one country, rather than be moving around with her parents for work so hence, why she is in Japan at the moment and they still aren't there to see her.
Silvan Arrow's First Question: How is it that Denzelle will become human if Tori dies?
Answer: That's a little twist I put in there myself. Since Denzelle is already half human once her Mistress dies, since there isn't another generation for the bit-beast to get passed on to she gets to be set free and become fully human. Anymore questions on this subject will probably be answered later in the story.
Silvan Arrow's Second Question: Where do you get all these Japanese songs?
Answer: Alright so if you just want to listen to the songs then you can try youtube, you will surely find them there. If you want them for download or for mp3s then you can try soundclick .com. (Don't put a space between any of the address, I did that cos fanfiction doesn't let me.) Very good chance you'll find them there, if you can't be bothered to make an account there and look them up and download them then you can PM me your e-mail address and I'll be more than happy to send them to you myself. Unfortunately I may not get around to sending them till the weekend, again, because of my exams but I will have them sent to you as soon as I get the chance to.
Chapter 15
After a couple of hours of talking between them, Tori left Kai alone to search the kitchen for something to eat. "Hey Kai, you want something to eat?" she asked.
"No thanks."
"I really don't like this not eating thing." Tori said carefully.
"Neither do I but there isn't much I can do about it."
Tori sighed a bit, leaning against the counter, "I still think you should see a doctor about it." She said.
"We've been through that already." Kai said angrily.
"I know but you can't blame me for worrying."
"You worry too much."
"Touché." Tori walked back into the living room, suddenly not in the mood to eat at all. "Though you can't say I don't have a good reason to worry." She added.
"Can't I?" Kai raised an eyebrow at her.
"You don't think you're a good reason?"
"Not a bit."
"You are to me though."
"You have no reason to worry. You shouldn't worry about me, I don't need to be worried about."
Tori saddened at that. She didn't mind worrying about him; she cared about him after all. All she ever wanted to do was help him but he wouldn't let her. "How can you not worry about someone you care about?"
"I thought we've been through this conversation before."
"We have but things probably weren't clear enough."
"They're as clear as they could ever get so please let's not get into that again." Kai told her.
"For your sake I'm not going to." Tori said, cuddling up next to him.
"Thanks." Kai whispered to her. He had to admit, he had felt uncomfortable with her being so close but…he didn't mind that much either, he liked being able to drop his cold shell long enough to let someone close enough to help him and make him feel looked after for once.
Tori looked up at Kai a bit, a sad look on her face at the same time, "Kai…are you ever going to tell me what your nightmares are about?" she asked quietly.
Kai sighed and moved a bit away from her with that one question. "I need time to sort things out." He said. "Just give me some time and I'll try."
"That sounds alright to me…just take it easy and tell me a bit at a time." Tori spoke quietly, seeing him nod in agreement she moved closer to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before resting against his shoulder again.
Kai's heart beat faster at that but shyly pulled an arm around Tori and let her rest against him despite everything.
---Three Weeks Later---
Kai and Tori had spent almost all the week together. Even though Tori had told Kai that the team wasn't mad at him anymore, he had spent most of the time away from them. He had usually trained with the team since Tori was monitoring his sleeping and eating so she saw it as safe to let him train a bit everyday. The relationship between Tori and Kai remained a secret from the others.
Well you couldn't always even tell that there was a relationship between the two. Sometimes they'd get into an argument; Kai would have most likely had a rough night and the morning only made him feel worse so it never took very long for arguments to establish off of those feelings. No matter the argument they always made up when they got back to the apartment, they'd just talk it all out till there was nothing left to talk about so then things where all sorted between the two.
Kai was always Tori's main concern and thanks to her visit to the hospital two weeks before, she had been spared any painful spells which gave her a better chance of keeping an eye on the other blader and keeping him from worrying about her. The weeks had flown by and because of that Tori's eyes where constantly being fixed to the calendar that hung in her bedroom.
At the same time, Kai was focusing on hiding all his problems from Tori, not wanting to worry her more than she already was. His nights had gotten worse but the days of talking to Tori made them seem almost like nothing and it wasn't as hard to convince him to get some rest as it used to be. He couldn't really say that he was comfortable with everything that went on, he didn't like how pushy Tori could be about him talking to her about his problems. He didn't like it at all since that made him ill a lot but he knew that she only cared about him but it made it difficult sometimes, he didn't care how ill he got, he just kept believing that Tori cared about him. It wasn't always easy, he knew that but he always tried.
"Kai…where are you?" Tori called, looking out of her bedroom.
"My room." Kai yelled back.
Tori walked out of her room and into Kai's, seeing him lying on his bed, two hands on his churning stomach while he lay on his side. "Hey…" she said quietly.
Kai groaned loudly at that, covering his head with the pillow a bit.
Tori sat next to him on the bed, taking Kai's hands off his stomach before running her hand through his hair. "It's late, get some rest." She told him.
"No way, not now. Just leave me alone."
Tori lay a hand on his forehead, drawing it back quickly at the touch of the hot skin. "I can't leave you alone when you're so ill." She whispered softly. She rubbed his back soothingly but after a while he shoved her hand off of him, pushed past her and ran out of the room. Tori winced when she heard the bathroom door close tight behind the quick teenager. She sighed heavily, walking out of the room and standing cross-armed by the bathroom door.
Many minutes passed her by and she heard the sound of the toilet flushing, then the sink water running. She turned to the door and in seconds Kai walked back out, eyes glazed over and fixed on the ground. She lifted his chin so he'd look at her, the weakness in his eyes was terribly worrying and all she could seem to do is wrap her arms around him and let him rest against her for a bit. Kai slowly pulled away from her after a bit and walked past her to his room before lying back onto his bed.
Tori sat back next to him, looking down at him their eyes locked and while her eyes asked what was wrong, Kai's tried to reassure her that he was alright. He could have tried for hours but still something in his eyes faltered and it still showed how weak he really was. Tori moved down closer to him, "Relax and get some sleep, I'll talk to you tomorrow, alright?" she asked. She was sure to be extremely quiet, knowing that sudden loud sounds and movements would only make Kai feel even worse. Kai opened his mouth to speak but Tori just silenced him by raising her index finger to her lips, she slowly got off the bed and left Kai alone for a while.
'Mistress…'
'Keep an eye on him. You call me if you see he's in pain or needs help with anything.' Tori cut in, ordering her bit-beast.
'Yes, Mistress.' Denzelle said, leaving.
Tori walked into her bedroom and picked up her nightgown. She undressed slowly, catching sight of her thin form in the mirror. She picked up her nightgown from her bed again, her hand slipping slightly on the light silk. Summer had started and it was the only cool thing she had at the time, she pulled the wine colored gown over her head and straightened it out over her body. Sitting on her bed for a moment, she glanced at the calendar, 'Three more months.' She thought painfully.
Each day she got closer to the other blader and that wore her down as each night came and she looked at the date. Day by day he did something that made her care about him more, it could've been anything but whatever it was it made her love him all the more for whatever it was that he did. Sighing she crawled to the top of her bed and slid under the light covers, resting her heavy head onto her pillow. In seconds she fell asleep, Kai on her mind as he always was.
---Next Morning---
Kai stood in the kitchen, drinking coffee like he usually did. Tori walked into the room, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before walking past him to the fridge. "Hey…" Kai called quietly. "I'm sorry about last night."
Tori turned towards him, smiling kindly at him. "It's fine, you were stressed, I get it." The two had come to know each other well. A whole three weeks had passed and in that time Tori took a mental note of all the things Kai reacted to and how he did so. She slowly learnt, that some of Kai's actions where ones that couldn't be controlled, ones that he had perfected over the years of pain. The one thing she had never seen him do was actually cry, he had once told her that he hadn't cried properly ever since he was a kid and that was just worrying in general. Crying was a sign of distress and pain but it was also a form of release, a sign of human emotion and humanity. Tori hadn't known much about psychology but ever since she knew Kai and she wanted to help look out for him she had actually borrowed some of those books from the school library and read about how not crying for a large amount of life could lead to depression and even suicide. She placed the milk she had brought out onto the counter and pulled her arms around his neck, kissing him softly, Kai returning it too, both shy at first.
They both pulled away, both turning away rather quickly so the other didn't see the blush. Tori made herself a bowl of cereal and moved to the living room, kneeling on the ground by the table to eat. In the mean time Kai sat on the sofa eating a slice of toast, all he was really up for that morning. "You're alright, Kai?" Tori asked once she finished.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Kai replied quietly, "What about you?"
"I'm alright." Tori answered, getting up and sitting next to him. "Kai…talk to me a little." She whispered, hands on his chest. "Tell me a bit about what's going on."
"Drop it. It's not a problem."
"Talk…now."
"You don't know a thing, you don't know what's up so just leave it." Kai said in a warning tone.
"Or maybe I just know a little bit more than you think!" Tori almost yelled angrily. Her eyes suddenly widened when she realized the words that crossed her lips.
Kai had been glaring at her but with those words it faltered, his eyes widened just slightly before he pushed himself off the sofa and walked into his room, a loud bang coming from the wooden door being shut tightly behind him.
Tori sighed, 'Time to come clean.' She thought sadly as she got up. She walked into Kai's room, standing in front of him. Kai sat on his bed, eyes fixed on the ground, his heart beating a mile a minute as her words repeated themselves over and over in her mind.
"How much do you really know?" Kai asked her, not bothering to look up at her.
Tori ran out of the room, Kai sighing painfully at that action. She came back a minute later, placing a brown envelope on the table behind her. She grabbed a paper, staring at it for a minute, it was a photocopy of an old letter, a letter that looked like it had been shredding at some angles and crumpled all over before the copy was made. She put the paper in front of him, handing it to him.
Kai was shocked at that, his eyes widening and his head shooting up a bit at the sight of that letter. He froze, taking the paper in his shaking hand, "Where'd you get this?" he asked hurriedly.
Tori sat on the ground in front of him, so no matter where on the ground he stared at she could still see his face. "That's a letter your grandfather wrote to you about two years ago. After the first tournament he had gone to prison, then about a year later he got out and he sent that to you." She began pointing out, "He wanted you to pay for what you did to him and his plan so he sent that as a small taste of what was going to happen."
"Stop it! You didn't answer my question." Kai growled.
Tori didn't listen, she just kept on forcing it on him, hoping to even get a small reaction out of him. She sat on the bed next to him, "He insulted you pretty bad there, every word that was written there probably cut through you like a knife. You were young, probably scared and really hurt about it. He even swore he'd come after you. And he did…didn't he?" she asked quietly.
Kai didn't answer her but his right hand that held the paper had started shaking a bit more from fright, fear running through him, it seemed like all that haunted him at night where the things she was reminding him of now and adding to it.
Tori glanced down a bit, "And what he did to you…left a big scar." She added, tracing her nail deeply along the side of Kai's stomach turning all the way back to his spine. Kai shuddered with that, pushing himself a bit away from her.
He hated this, suddenly all the things he trusted, all the things he confided in where now against him and he was breaking from the inside but he tried so hard to remain strong with every word.
"You were put in hospital for it. Doctors said that it was done by some sharp knife but…you wouldn't say a word about what had happened. You put yourself at risk for about three months, hoping the police caught up with your grandfather without you saying anything."
"Why are you saying all this?" Kai asked her, his voice still holding its firmness and cold structure. Tori didn't answer so he just got up and ran to the door, it being slammed shut in a second and a clicking sound being heard from the outside. Denzelle had locked the door so he was trapped, made to listen to all that Tori now threw at him.
Kai went and sat back on his bed where he had been before, having no other choice.
"Kai…look at me." Tori whispered softly. Kai didn't do as she asked this time, only doing so when she made him look up at her. "You know…you are nothing like what he thinks you are?" she whispered. "Just because you two are connected by blood that doesn't mean you're like him, it doesn't mean that all he says about you is even right. You get that don't you?"
"Why are you bringing this up? Why now?!" Kai asked, lashing out at her, getting up and staring down at her.
"You'll see eventually." Tori whispered, Kai not hearing her this time. "Why do you believe he's right, Kai?"
"I don't!"
"Really? It looks like you do, you've got your pride around everyone else but inside you hate yourself, you think that all he called you is true. You think you're never good enough, that's why you don't see yourself as something worth being worried about."
Kai sat down on the bed, tears already welling up in his eyes as he tried desperately to pretend they weren't there and to keep them from falling from his eyes onto his skin. "…I…"
"You didn't know what was happening but he seemed to have hurt you pretty bad and when the nightmares started you only thought worse about yourself." Tori moved to sit at the bottom of the bed, while Kai lay back on his side, drawing back all his tears in hope she didn't notice any of them.
Unfortunately for him, she had noticed them and that was her intention the whole time, to get him to be hurt long enough for him to have no choice but to breakdown. It had sounded cruel but it was out of good intentions, he'd kill himself if he didn't confront things now and he clearly wasn't going to fix anything if he just kept running away from it.
Kai had long ago dropped the paper to the floor by the bed and Tori picked it up and scanned it over once again. "I bet I can convince you otherwise about every single insult written on here." She said after a while. "Now…wouldn't it be worse if you realized that all you criticized yourself about these past few years I have proof is false?" she asked him, looking at him.
"You win…just stop it now." Kai whispered, his voice starting to crack. Things where getting worse and he couldn't take it any longer, he just wanted her to get out, leave him alone and let him get it over with in peace.
"Not till you let it go and you aren't going to do that by yourself." Tori told him. "Kai forget what your grandfather used to say, what that other bastard used to tell you and just cry for once. It probably hurts now but you'll feel better later, everyone else does."
"I'm not everyone else."
"No…you're better than everyone else."
"Why do you have so much faith in me?" Kai asked quietly, now tears where running freely from his eyes, slipping down his cheeks and soaking the collar of his black shirt.
"Because I've come to know you Kai, we haven't known each other for too long but there are times when you just relax and be yourself, when you're yourself I learn who you are and I think that your grandfather couldn't be anymore wrong about you." Tori reached forward, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it tight.
Kai pulled his hand away, having enough strength in his shaking form to do that much. "Tori…leave me alone for a while." He whispered, realizing tears started up faster.
Tori ignored his words, taking his hand again. "What I've done to you now was with good intentions but it caused a lot of pain so I'm not going to leave you alone." With those words being said she lay down against him, her back against his chest while she pulled one of his arms around her and kept a firm hold on his hand.
Kai would have tried to push her off but he couldn't, not just because he didn't have the strength to but also because he still cared about her too much to hurt her. She had hurt him horribly just now but like every other time he had to try to keep in mind that almost all she did to him was for his own good. But now, he was having trouble getting that through to himself but she was right and he hated it, in the past few weeks he had been the exact opposite of what his grandfather had ever called him and he didn't even need to try, it just came naturally to him. In seconds the tears where slipping faster and his form was shaking more, sobs getting caught in his throat which made him shake all the more.
The whole time though, he was well aware of the soothing sounds Tori made the whole time it happened as tears fell on her neck and burnt through her skin.
Tori remained quiet most of the time, just whispering soothing words to him every once in a while. After maybe an hour the whole room had gone silent and Tori turned back a bit, seeing Kai had fallen asleep finally. His eyes still had a few tears slipping from them, his eyes also red looking from the hour of crying he had but now, he just looked so peaceful now that it was all over but she had hurt him too badly. Now she wasn't sure if he'd really forgive her. He had let her stay close to him but even if he didn't let her, she would have stayed with him anyway. Now she just worried that he wouldn't care about her as much or wouldn't forgive her for all she did.
In a second she fell asleep, worrying as she always did, not caring that they had just come back from a full night of sleep. The events where emotional on both behalves and exhaustion had quickly followed.
'Doing that to him wasn't a wise choice.' Dranzer said to Denzelle.
'You know as well as I do that there would have been problems…a lot of problems.'
'Yes but your Mistress also shouldn't have gone behind my Master's back and found out about what has happened to him.' Dranzer reminded, anger burning the whole time.
'I'll admit that it wasn't the best of things to do but he wasn't going to get into this by himself, and it was a last minute resort and it was done to make sure that my Mistress didn't accidentally say something that made it worse before.'
'Well she succeeded in making it worse didn't she?'
'Let's not go on with this. It's happened already, it's in the past now and there's nothing we can do about it.'
'You're right but we need to make sure an argument doesn't escalate over this.' Dranzer reasoned, calming down ever so slightly.
'How mad do you think your Master is going to be?' Denzelle asked cautiously.
Dranzer sighed, 'I'm not too sure. There's been a change within the last few weeks so I don't always know what to expect.'
'That's understandable.' Denzelle thought aloud, 'So I suppose all we can do is wait and see how this turns out.'
'I suppose so.'
---Hours Later---
Tori still lay sleeping in Kai's arms, the worrying taking more out of her, and the closing date to her death didn't help her in the least. Kai on the other hand was awake, holding his head up with his hand as he stared over her watching her sleep for a bit. The whole time he watched her he contemplated whether she had actually tried to hurt him or try to help him and so far he still believed she only wanted to help. Dranzer had tried several times to interrupt his thoughts, always wanting to know how his Master was doing after what had happened but Kai always cut him off, saying he wanted to be alone for a while.
Dranzer worried more with that fact but left Kai alone anyway, for most of the time at least. Most of the time he was relaxed, mostly concentrating on the girl in front of him. The girl in question slowly began to stir but Kai didn't move from his position. Tori opened her eyes and just lay there for a moment, "You mad?"
Kai sat there in silence for a second before answering her question carefully, "Not too much."
Tori smiled happily with that in mind. She turned onto her back so she could look up directly at Kai, "I'm glad."
"Yeah, I'll bet."
"That…was a pretty big risk you took." Kai pointed out.
"I know…but I'd much rather you be alive and well without me than be living in misery."
"I see that but, I swear if I start crying for little things from now on…I'm blaming you!" Kai informed her with a smirk.
Tori laughed at that and placed her arms around his neck, "I'll bet you will." She said quietly. "So was crying so bad?" she asked him suddenly.
"Don't get me started on that." Kai replied, glaring lightly at her.
Again Tori laughed, after the emotional parts of the day she couldn't help but laugh, even at the littlest things. "Well to me it looks like you deserve a decent meal for once. Want me to go make you something?" she asked, running her fingers through his hair.
"How about just a slice of toast?" Kai asked quietly.
"Gah, I was hoping I could make you something better for once."
"How about a burger then?" Kai asked again, smiling kindly down at Tori.
"Sounds better." Tori smiled happily at that.
The smiles on both their faces remained fixed and silence filled the room and both just stared down at each other till the small gap between them closed in a gentle kiss. Time had stood still for those few seconds, nothing really mattered to the two teenagers, then they parted and both heard someone clearing their throat from by the door. Both glanced at the door, seeing Denzelle there, "Yes?" Kai asked, a tad annoyed for the two being interrupted and a bit embarrassed at the same time.
Denzelle shook off the annoyance and turned to look at her Mistress, "The phone has been ringing constantly, Mistress, I suggest you pick it up next time." She advised kindly.
"Sure." Tori said, almost glaring at Denzelle with that.
Denzelle bowed and quickly walked out of the room. Tori sighed and sat up a little, supporting herself by leaning back on her elbows, "I better go make you something to eat." She said.
Kai moved to the side and lay on his back so she could get off the bed but instead she leaned over him slightly and kissed him again. He smiled just a bit, pink almost showing on his once pale cheeks.
Tori smiled and got off the bed, "Take things easy." She told him, making her way to leave the room and go to the kitchen.
Kai lay back more into the soft mattress, staring at the ceiling in thought. Wondering constantly what he was going to do once she was gone and out of his life. He tried to erase the negative thoughts from his mind, thinking that everything was good at the time and he didn't want to spoil it. He got off the bed and out of his room, passing by the kitchen and settling in the living room. "You're alright?" Tori called from the kitchen.
Kai heard her through his conversation with Dranzer and tried to be quick with an answer, "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Truthfully?"
"Of course." Came Kai's answer. Tori made a rather strange face at that and walked out of the kitchen, peeking into the living room to look at Kai with her suspicious glare. "I swear I'm saying the truth." He told her, once seeing her.
"You'd better be." Tori said, walking back to the kitchen, continuing to make the burgers.
"After today I know better than to ever lie to you again." Kai said, reaching for the phone as it began to ring. "Hello?"
Tori looked out of the kitchen suspiciously, Kai holding the phone just a bit away from his ear. Tori gave a questioning look at him while Kai just shrugged in reply and handed her the phone. "Hello?" she asked. Her eyes widened a bit and she bit down on her lip trying to suppress a small laugh, "Hey mom."
A/N: Sorry this chapter was so short, the computer broke down and I had to wait till I was here at my uncle's place to finish. Exams start Tuesday but I'll try update soon.
This chapter was a tad eventful, maybe some of you found the need to cry weird but its all true. I'd explain it to you in more detail but I have school tomorrow and I need to go to bed but I wanted to get this chapter up soon or else I'll never get around to it and all you lovely readers would be disappointed with me if I didn't update soon. So please review and I will try update faster. Thanks for reading!