Chapter 20

"Leave me alone." Kai's muffled voice called.

"Kai, please!"

The voice sounded so much like Tori's so Kai ignored the person all the more, it couldn't have been Tori, she was gone, leaving him alone with whoever dared go next to him. Kai worked on stopping his tears, sitting up a bit and wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. When he got his eyesight to focus on the body in front of him, his mouth almost dropped open, seeing the girl gasping for breath, eyes still fixed open and most likely still unfocused.

Before Kai knew it tears where replacing the ones he had worked so hard on drying off. He slowly reached for Tori's hand that still shook slightly on the bed where he'd dropped it. Tears streamed down Tori's cheeks now, uncontrollable when her eyes focused on Kai, her emotions ran high and the pain in her head got worse.

Kai was left there alone, unable to do anything to help the suffering girl. Hell, he didn't even know what was going on, to him a minute ago the girl was dead, lifeless, he'd never see her smiling at him again. Now, everything was changing and he felt as though he were powerless to do anything in the world around him.

Tori took a deep breath and she visibly relaxed, closing her eyes as she gave Kai's hand a tight squeeze. "Don't worry, Kai." She whispered weakly, keeping a tight grip on Kai's hand as she winced a bit.

Kai's mouth opened in shock, staring down at her with wide eyes, not helping the tears streaming down from them. "How can you say that?" he whispered, shock showing all over his face.

"I'll be fine." Tori breathed heavily, her hands going through some hand movements till her fingers where entwined in his.

Those words only made Kai feel worse. Those where the words he'd been told for so long, words that now he wished he could believe but after what had just happened he couldn't believe them anymore, it was a wake up call that those words didn't mean a thing. The burning tears where ones that couldn't be helped anymore, he could have wiped at his eyes for hours but nothing would have changed the way he was feeling, no one's words, no real action could take away the pain and fear that was going on inside of him at the time.

The sobs that had built up couldn't have hurt him anymore than they currently were and the tears wouldn't stop flowing, he had to get out of there. He let go of her hand, getting off the bed quickly and ran out of the room and down the hall. All he wanted was to be alone for a few minutes, just long enough for him to try and control himself, grasp everything he was feeling, pick them all up and bottle them up like he used to. He was about to run into the living room but got cut off when Denzelle appeared in front of him. Kai's eyesight was blurring now and he wiped at his eyes while muttering something for Denzelle to leave him alone.

To Denzelle those words didn't exist to her and she just looked on at Kai sympathetically, shaking her head as a sign that she just couldn't do what he was asking of her. She encircled her arms around him, making him rest his head on her shoulder as she tried to calm him. Though Kai was far from that, he felt that being calm was some impossible state, one he couldn't reach with the life he lived. Most probably, if it weren't for the girl that held tightly onto him he wouldn't have been able to remain standing. Too much was running through him, too many thoughts pounded painfully in his head, too many emotions were mixing him up and made his heart feel heavier by the minute and through it all, he had enough strength in him to scold himself for even thinking that he had it bad.

"Don't worry, Kai. She's alright." Kai heard Denzelle whispered after the tears began to slow down, the only time she'd found a small opening in speaking to him.

Kai pushed himself hard out of her arms, walking past her to the living room. He sat down on the sofa, sitting forward, forearms pressed tight against his stomach, hands tracing along his cheeks as he wiped away a tear every time one fell. Denzelle walked into the kitchen, boiling some water to make Kai a cup of coffee since he clearly didn't want her help, she still felt she had to do something. She was startled by Tori when she walked in, looking almost dead but still looking determined to help. "Mistress…you shouldn't be…"

"Get Kai some coffee, then leave us alone to talk." Tori ordered her quietly, leaving the room without another word. Tori sat down in the living room beside Kai, pulling a blanket off the arm of the sofa and pulling it over both their shoulders. "I'm sorry."

Kai smirked a bit through his tears, "Don't be! I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry for being selfish, I'm sorry for not understanding, I'm really sorry that…"

Tori cut him off by whispering to him to relax and to slow down while she wiped tears from his damp cheeks. "There's nothing that you need to be sorry about." She told him.

Denzelle tried her best not to interrupt when she walked into the room, placing the hot mug of coffee on the table in front of Kai. She glanced at her Mistress with some concern on her features, more for her Mistress than for the shaking boy. Her Mistress just nodded in thanks and then cocked her head to the side, indicating that Denzelle needed to leave and she quickly did so as not to stress her Mistress out.

"Drink up. It'll make you feel better." Tori whispered, handing him the hot drink.

Kai took the drink, not really believing her when she said he'd feel better but he was willing to try anything at the time, even if it couldn't do too much to help. "What happened?" he asked.

Tori sighed a bit and stared at the ground, "It was pretty close but it just happened to be more like a…" She thought for a moment, thinking for the right word, "Clinical death." She said.

Kai nodded a bit, attempting to wipe off anymore tears that slipped off his cheeks. Tori smiled at him when she saw it, reaching a hand out enough to stroke his cheeks and wipe off the tears that fell, "Will…it happen again?" he asked. By the sound of his voice you could tell how hard he was trying to keep things together, stick to his character where he'd remain strong in a time like this but it failed with the slight shaking that went through his voice.

"I don't know…I'm just tired now, that's all."

"So damn it, get some sleep and stop trying to make me feel better." Kai lashed out at her.

"And leave you here alone? I wouldn't dare." Tori whispered.

"You're leaving anyway." Kai told her coldly.

"Don't think like that, it's not something I can control."

No words where expressed between the two for many silent minutes. A part of her was right, she couldn't control what was going to happen to her but she did have a chance to prevent it, he just had no right to force it on her. He cared about her and he wanted to be happy with her but still, he knew what it felt like to have those kind of decisions forced on you and he didn't want her to feel the way he did.

Tori put the blanket completely over him and walked across the room to the other sofa there was there. She lay down and rested her head carefully on a pillow, closing her eyes to get some sleep.

Kai watched her do this and picked up the phone from the table. He got off the sofa, placed the blanket over the almost sleeping girl and walked out of the room with the phone again, dialing a number on it.

Tori heard him leave the room but was too exhausted to make any attempt in stopping him. She'd heard him dialing a number on the phone as he left and wondered who he was calling. Again, being too tired to do anything about it or even bother thinking about what was to happen next. She heard the boy walk back into the room, placing something onto the table, most likely the phone. He stopped when he got to the other sofa he was on earlier and got back to sipping the hot coffee. "Your parents will be here soon." He told her after a while, realizing she could hear him.

Tori's eyes shot open at hearing his words, "What?" she asked quietly.

"They were the ones that told me you weren't answering the phone or door, that's what got me here. They wanted me to call once I knew what had happened. I told them and they'll be here in a few minutes to check on you."

Tori tried to shrug a bit but that sent a sharp pain up her neck, searing through her head which hurt painfully. "Okay." She whispered. She tried to make herself comfortable, gripping the pillow she rested her head on whenever pain ran through her too sharply. Life was getting tough and now a part of her couldn't wait till this was all over so that Kai could work on moving on without her. She knew it was going to be tough for him to adjust but it seemed like it was something that had to be done sooner or later. She just wished that the clinical death hadn't happened, that way she wouldn't have to watch him be in so much more pain because of it.

Now she needed to endure more time of watching him suffer and the last thing she wanted to do was watch him cry and feel terrible on her last few days. She wished he'd just be okay, that things would get better once she was gone but things like that don't happen so fast, he had to work at it to make himself feel better but it was going to take him a while and until her time was finally up, all she could do was sit back and watch and maybe try to help him, only if he'd let her.

The next thing she knew she was feeling a stinging feeling on her face. She opened her eyes slowly, looking up to see her dad trying to wake her from her sleep and drag her out of her agonizing thoughts. She sat up a bit, looking on in confusion as she realized she couldn't hear any of the words that her parents where saying. She'd seemed to have lost her hearing and all she could do was squint to see if she could read lips. She didn't get a thing that was going on and all she could do was turn her head to the side a bit, pouting in sadness and frustration. Kai sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. Tori looked up at her, confusion written all over his face before she saw him trying to force a smile and nod.

Tori tried a smile too, resting her head against his shoulder and closing her eyes again. She winced when someone patted at her face again, and she looked up at her dad, a bit of annoyance shining through her eyes as he seemed to be scolding her. When it looked like she couldn't understand what exactly it was that he was saying, Kai seemed to have grown tired of it and grabbed her shoulders, turning her to look directly at him. He said something carefully and she didn't even have to read lips to realize what was going on, she could see it just by the concern that shone through his eyes as he spoke so carefully. She was meant to stay awake for a few hours, most likely to keep her from slipping out of it again. She bit her lip and nodded a bit, almost fearfully.

She sat back a bit, taking a deep breath, taking in the looks of her family and her boyfriend. A look of sadness and fear being seen on each of them. The looks reflected so much on them, like they knew what was to come and they all feared it and the worst part was that they knew that there was nothing they could do about it. Up until now they all knew it was going to happen but it wasn't as bad until they knew that it could've been minutes away from happening and when you come so close to dieing, you tend to realize how they feel. She turned her head a bit to look outside where the balcony was, she stared off for a few minutes, thoughts always running through her head just like the pain was but she didn't care, her eyesight had gone so foggy and her mind was so clouded by thoughts that without her hearing she was able to do anything without caring about what was happening around her.

Maybe this was how Kai felt sometimes, torn away from the world. Maybe he felt that he pulled himself away from the world so much, its as though he didn't hear what was happening in the world around him and he got so lost in his own thoughts that sometimes he couldn't even feel how much pain he was actually enduring until it finally started eating away at him. Maybe she wasn't meant to understand him, until she actually had to feel the way he did. Unfortunately, for her to feel the way he did it was at the time that she was dieing in front of the ones she loved. 'Till I'm dieing in front of those I love?' she thought. The way her inner voice even said that, sounded so faint, so weak, lost in the thoughts that went on. Was this how Kai actually felt? That he was a sacrifice, dieing in front of his friends where he sees them as powerless to stop it?

The feeling was a terrible one, a feeling that brought many stinging hot tears to her eyes with just the thought. She hadn't seemed to notice just how fast they had been slipping until she saw Kai's hand reach out and wipe away the tears from her cheeks, stroking the skin and tears away with his thumb, trying to give her a supportive smile. But that only made her cry more, he was there for her, trying so hard to be helpful when on the inside he was dieing, or more to the point, killing himself with scolding and harshness which he inflicted on himself when he lightened up. Tori wrapped her arms around Kai and rested her head against his chest, avoiding closing her eyes so that she could stay awake though having her hair stroked so lovingly would have made anyone feel comfortable enough to fall asleep.

Maria and her husband looked at each other in a bit of confusion but the two teenagers in front of them hadn't seemed to notice, or cared that they were being watched by two adults. The teenagers where locked in their own little world where their pain only shifted from one teenager to the other. Within minutes, she heard her own sobbing sounds, hearing a light breeze outside and hearing her parents whispering in the kitchen and finally but most importantly, she heard Kai whispering so many soothing words to her. Kai smiled a bit, once realizing the girl was feeling a bit better. Tori sat up a bit, reaching out to stroke Kai's cheek and neck before giving him a soft kiss on the lips in thanks, taking advantage of the fact that her parents weren't in the room. "Kai…" She whispered in her raspy voice.

"Yeah?"

"Can you please…go get the rest of the team?" She asked quietly, laying in his arms.

"I'm not leaving you alone here."

"Mom and dad are here and…I'll be fine."

"Stop saying that because it's not true."

"I won't die before I see them Kai and I won't die without seeing you again so please go and get them, I really want to see them." Tori was quiet, seeming like she didn't have anymore energy to speak any louder.

Kai sighed a bit, uncertainty written all over his face before he nodded just slightly. He gently moved her out of his arms and pushed her back against the pillows. He left the living room after placing a quick kiss on her cheek, went into the kitchen and informed the two adults that he'd be leaving and that someone should keep an eye on Tori, or something along those lines was all Tori heard. She heard Kai leave the apartment only a moment later and with that she closed her eyes to rest for a few minutes.

A/N: Alright, so you are probably all asking 'why'd you make us think she died when she's really alive?!" Why you ask? Because I wanted to be evil and everyone just didn't realize the hint at the end of last chapter that showed she was still alive. The gasped call and tight grip, along with the last batch of lyrics at the end of the chapter before the authors note. If you'd read that properly you would have known that she was most likely still alive.

Though I am sorry that I scared you all into thinking I killed her(so far) but it got a positive reaction. I enjoyed reading everyone's reviews and people who don't usually review actually reviewed which was great. I'm also sorry that this chapter was shorter than most of the others but if I didn't post the chapter soon, people like Oceanwind might actually kill me lol and to be totally honest, even if it doesn't always seem this way but I actually value my life at the moment.

I'm glad that everyone included Denzelle in their reviews though. It goes to show she wasn't forgotten and at least you can all see that she plays more of a part in this fic than any other bit beasts in my fic.

Anyways, please review!