Hey everyone, thanks for the reviews. I really like this chapter. I've taken a few liberties, but that's what fanfiction is for!

Contains a bit of foul language.

Chapter 5 – A Return To Yesterday

Just as Snape asked, Harry had not mentioned the memories again, and he was growing impatient out of the fear that Snape was conveniently trying to forget the request. During their final meeting, however, Snape finally brought it up.

'Thanks for all your help with my speech, Professor,' Harry said, rolling up his parchment at the end of their meeting.

Snape, not being accustomed to being thanked, tensed up as he said, 'You're welcome. I trust you will adhere to it come time to deliver it.'

'I will,' Harry replied as he gathered his things to leave. 'Goodnight Professor.'

Harry made it to the door when Snape called him back. 'Potter, resume your seat.'

Harry did as he was told. Snape sat at his desk, looking less than thrilled, but not angry.

A long silence ensued, and Snape seemed to be weighing his words carefully. 'I've considered your request regarding your mother,' he said, 'and while every fiber of my being wants nothing to do with it, I think she would have wanted me to do this for you. And Merlin knows I would do whatever it takes to honour her.'

Harry's eyes lit up, and Snape had to look away from him. 'Really? I – I don't know what to say.'

'May I suggest, "Thank you Professor for making a complete fool of yourself"', he said sarcastically.

'I don't see it that way,' Harry said. 'But yes, thank you. When will you show them to me?' he asked without preamble, nearly on the edge of his seat.

Snape sighed. 'Do you have prior engagements tonight?'

'No.'

Snape stood up. 'Then wait here. I'll return in a moment.' He turned on his heal and disappeared into the hall that led to his living quarters.

Harry, meanwhile, was nearly beside himself with excitement. His entire body trembled as he waited for Snape to come back. He was suddenly struck by the oddity of the situation, but it was overshadowed by his gratitude. Snape was not obligated to do any of this, and the fact that he was opening up his past to him was incredibly moving to Harry.

Suddenly Snape emerged carrying Dumbledore's Pensieve. It was empty, and he placed it upon his desk and sat down.

'This may take a few moments,' Snape said. Concentrating, he pressed the tip of his wand to his temple and removed a long silver-blue strand and guided the ethereal substance into the basin. Harry watched as Snape explored his memory, pausing every now and then to extract a moment in time. A few times he raised his wand, but seemed to change his mind.

Finally, after removing several memories, and having appeared conflicted about the final memory he had added, Snape moved the basin forward. 'That should do,' he said.

Harry stared at it, and then looked to Snape. 'I want you to come with me.'

'Very well,' Snape sighed. 'After you.'

Harry, having had many previous encounters with the Pensieve, pressed his face into the swirling mist and tumbled headlong into the past, his feet landing on the grass of a familiar park. The adult Snape stood beside him, looking slightly uncomfortable.

Harry noticed that they were in the park where Snape and Lily had first met. Only this time, Petunia was nowhere in sight.

A nine-year-old Lily sat on an old swing as Snape pushed her, her long red hair trailing behind her in the wind. She was squealing with delight as she soared higher with each push. Harry moved in closer to the children as they played, and Snape followed behind at a distance.

'Let go, Lily,' Snape said. 'Fly for me.'

After his final push, Lily let go of the swings and seemed to float through the air before coming back down to the ground, landing light as a feather. Snape's young face was wild with excitement as he watched her. 'Can you do that?' Lily asked.

'Nah,' he said. 'But watch this…'

He picked up a fallen leaf and held it tightly in his hand. Slowly, it blossomed into a white lily. He smiled and handed it to her.

She tucked it behind her ear.

The scene changed. They were now sitting on a bench a little ways off. 'What did your parents say about this weekend?' Lily asked.

'They don't care,' Snape said a bit dejectedly. 'I'll be there, though, even if they change their minds.' He scuffed the bottom of his worn out sneakers on the dirt. 'I hope you like what I got for you.'

The scene reformed. They were now in a large and elegant sitting room with what Harry soon realized were his maternal grandparents. Lily and Snape, who still wore his short jeans and odd shirt, sat side-by-side on a loveseat and Petunia sat off in a chair by herself, looking sour and angry.

'I don't see why she should get presents just for being a witch,' Petunia scowled.

Snape shot her a dirty look. Petunia stuck out her tongue at him.

'Come on honey,' her mother said. 'Be supportive of your sister.'

Petunia only crossed her arms and frowned some more.

Lily, however, was surrounded by gifts and beamed with happiness.

The scene changed again, this time Lily and Snape were alone in the den watching TV. Snape, however, looked anxious. He reached into his pocket and brought out a small box with a red ribbon tied around it. 'Here,' he said, passing it to Lily. 'I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone.'

Lily slid the bow off and opened it. Inside was a silver necklace with a pendent of a butterfly with a topaz stone in the center. Lily gasped. 'This is so pretty, Sev! Where did you get it?'

Snape turned red. 'I'd rather not say.'

'You didn't steal it, did you?'

'No.'

'Then where did you get it?'

After a moment, he said, 'Mum found it and she said you might like it.' Harry got the impression that Snape was lying.

Lily smiled. 'Thank you so much.' She put it on and then gave Snape a hug before turning her attention back to the TV. Snape, it seemed, looked rather pleased with himself, and didn't seem to care what was on TV.

The scene changed again. This time he and Snape followed the pair as they walked down a wooded trail together.

'Are you sure it's safe for you to stay there? Mum and dad said you can come live with us if you're scared of your dad.'

'It's okay, Lily. Soon enough we'll be at school, and I won't have to see him.'

'Yeah, but look at your eyes! He's hurt you!'

'It doesn't matter,' Snape said dismissively.

Harry passed the children to get a better look at young Snape, who had two very bruised and swollen eyes.

Suddenly, they stopped. 'Come here,' Lily said. She cupped Snape's face in her hands. 'Close your eyes.'

'What are you doing?' he asked.

She placed several gentle kisses on his bruises. 'My mum says that when you kiss a hurt it makes it better.'

Snape scoffed and muttered something about Muggle remedies, but he didn't object to Lily's kisses. Harry smiled, and he glanced up to see adult Snape smiling sadly.

The scene reformed, and they were now sitting beside a frozen river in the sunlight. 'Aren't you excited for Christmas?' Lily asked.

'Not really,' Snape said. Lily seemed taken aback.

'How can you not be excited?'

'We don't celebrate Christmas,' he said, picking up snow in his mittens.

'Wizards don't celebrate Christmas?' Lily asked, rather alarmed.

'Sure they do. My family doesn't, though.'

'Why?'

'Who knows.' Snape kept digging in the snow with his hands.

'Why don't you come over to our house for Christmas? I'll ask mum and dad if you can.'

They were now back at the Evans' house, which was elaborately decorated for the holidays. Snape and Lily were sitting beneath the Christmas tree late at night, watching the lights change colour in the darkness. Snape was dressed in a pair of blue pajamas that fit properly and his hair was wet from a bath.

'Thanks, Lily,' he said.

'For what?' she asked.

'For getting your parents to let me come here.'

She smiled. 'You're welcome. We got you presents and everything!'

Snape seemed to be on the brink of tears, but managed to stifle them before Lily noticed.

They continued to watch the lights when suddenly Lily asked, 'Do you know what mistletoe is?'

'No,' he replied. 'What is it?'

She pointed to the doorframe where it was suspended.

'What's it for?' Snape asked.

'Well, mum says that you're supposed to stand underneath it, and the other person is supposed to kiss you. I've seen mum and dad do it, and it seems to work. Do you want to try it?'

Snape didn't answer, but Lily jumped up and stood beneath it. 'C'mon, Sev,' she urged. 'Just once.'

Snape got up and walked toward her. They stood together beneath the doorframe, each waiting for the other to make the first move.

'I don't think it's working,' Snape said seriously.

Lily giggled, and she leaned in slowly to give him a quick kiss.

'Well, then, I guess it does work,' Snape said with a smile.

The scene dissolved and now they were in the Evans' backyard building a snowman.

'And Muggles find this fun?' Snape asked. He was on his knees, struggling to push a ball of snow several times his size.

Lily laughed at the sight of Snape exerting himself, and he simply gave up and laid down in the snow. 'Of course its fun,' she said. 'You've never built a snowman before?'

'No,' he said, and Lily started laughing again.

'What's so funny?' he asked.

'You look funny in that hat,' she said.

She was quite right – Snape's long black hair protruded out from under a tacky lime green and hot pink hat, and a large puffball sat on the top of his head. It was pulled down too low and hid his eyes.

'You're the one who handed it to me!' Snape retorted indignantly, but he smiled in spite of himself. He loved to hear her laugh, even if at his own expense.

Lily threw a small snowball at him, and within moments, they were in a full-blown snow fight.

The scene reformed. It was still winter, and Snape was ringing the doorbell to the Evans' home. He wasn't wearing a hat or mitts or a proper coat, and his exposed skin was deep red and looked raw. He stood on the doorstep, shivering in the sharp wind.

Suddenly, Mrs. Evans came to the door. 'Severus!' she said in half surprise, half horror. 'What are you doing out in this weather like this? Come in before you catch your death!'

'I want to talk to Lily. Is she home?' he asked, as he basked in the warmth of the house.

'Yes, she's in the den. Do you want some hot chocolate to help warm you up?'

'Yes, please,' he said as he made his way through the hall.

Snape heard the TV, and found Lily sitting on the couch. She looked up and smiled. 'Sev! What you are doing here?'

'I have something for you,' he said, pulling a small bag from his jeans pocket. He sat on the couch and arranged what looked like nine small reddish buds on the upholstery. Lily watched as he took each of them in his hand one by one, making them grow into nine red roses. Lily watched in amazement as he concentrated on his magic and made the buds bloom. Once finished, he handed them to Lily. 'Happy Valentine's Day,' he said. 'One rose for this year, and one for every year I missed.'

Lily beamed at him and hugged him, but she recoiled when she realized how cold his cheek was.

'Why are you so cold?' she asked.

'I walked here,' he said.

'Just to give me these? You could get sick,' she said in concern.

'I don't care. I knew you'd like them.'

She smelled the roses and closed her eyes as she breathed in the heavenly smell. 'Wait here,' she said.

Taking her roses with her, she disappeared and returned a few moments later with an envelope. 'This is for you,' she said, handing it to him.

He opened it, taking care not to rip the paper too badly. He removed a small card on which Lily had drawn and coloured a picture of them playing together in the sun. Beneath the picture, she had written 'Forever Best Friends.' Snape smiled and opened the card. Harry bent over young Snape to read what it said.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I know you hate flowers
But I love you!

Happy Valentine's Day, Sev!

Love Lily

Harry smiled and watched as the two children hugged each other.

'Does Valentine's have a mistletoe too?' Snape asked hopefully.

Lily smiled. 'No, but I don't think it matters.' She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

The scene reformed, and Snape was alone in his bedroom. He took the Valentine from his pocket and stared at it for several long moments before tucking it under his mattress.

The scene changed, and now they were a bit older. Snape was walking through the courtyard at Hogwarts looking alarmed. He could hear someone crying in the deserted grounds, but couldn't see anyone.

'Lily,' he called out. 'Where are you?'

'I'm over here,' she sobbed.

Following her voice, he walked into a deep shadow cast by the castle and found Lily sitting on a stone bench. 'What happened?' he asked.

Lily tried to gain control before speaking. 'I talked to Dumbledore earlier. He said that my mum…' her voice trailed off. Snape took her hand in his. 'My mum died.'

Snape moved in closer and drew her into a hug, much the way Harry had done to Snape a few weeks earlier. She leaned in and cried on his shoulder. 'What am I going to do?' she wept.

'You have your dad,' he said, and Harry noticed that his words sounded strange, like Snape was unfamiliar with expressing anything good about fathers. 'And you have me. You'll always have me.'

Lily clung to Snape, but said nothing. She continued to cry as he rubbed her back. 'Don't cry, Lily. Please don't cry,' he said, almost desperately, appearing to be on the verge of tears himself. 'I'm sorry about your mum.'

The scene changed, and now they seemed to be hiding in the library after hours. 'Are you gonna be okay?' he asked.

She wiped her eyes. 'Yeah, I think so. Thanks for coming out there. I really needed to talk to you.'

'I'd do anything for you,' Snape said, his gaze unwavering from Lily's tear-stained face and her shiny green eyes.

'You know, it really hurts to watch you cry,' he said shyly and turned red. 'When you cry, I'm right there with you, and it feels like… like I'm standing in the saddest rainfall. I miss your smiles.'

She smiled. 'I'm sorry, Sev. I don't like feeling this way either, but I'm trying… where do you think she is now?'

'She's in a good place, Lily. You'll see her again someday.'

'I don't know what I'd do without you,' she said as they left to return to their dormitories.

The scene changed again, and this time, they were at a Halloween party. Snape and Lily had just entered, but they were now about fifteen years old. Neither one was in costume. There were trays upon trays of sweets on tables along one wall, and someone had gone to a lot of trouble to decorate the room in orange, black, and white. Music was issuing from somewhere that couldn't be seen, and the party was alive with excited banter.

From nowhere, Slughorn appeared. 'Ah! My two Potions geniuses!' he said, patting them each on the back. 'Do enjoy yourselves. The night is young!' And just as quickly as he had appeared, he was gone off to greet the other arrivals.

Snape and Lily sat down on a small sofa together. They watched as a group of Ravenclaws showed up, many of whom wore royal blue gowns and masks. Once they parted ways, both Snape and Lily's hearts sank upon seeing who was behind them.

James Potter.

'What's that idiot doing here?' Snape asked crossly, his brow furrowed in a deep frown.

'Slughorn probably saw the last Quidditch match,' said Lily tastelessly.

'I'd like to Imperius his sorry ass,' said Snape bitterly. 'Then we'd see just how great a Quidditch player he is.'

'Sev! Don't even joke about that!' Lily said.

Snape turned to her. 'You wouldn't want to see him make a jackass of himself, even more so that he does on his own?'

Lily smirked. 'Yeah, just not with the Imperius curse.'

A clear look of mischief crossed Snape's features. 'If you really want to see it, I can arrange it.'

'Don't give him the satisfaction of making him the focus of anything you do. Plus, I don't want you to get expelled. Potter's not worth it.'

'Evening, Evans,' said James. They had been so engrossed in their conversation that they hadn't noticed him approaching. 'You want to come spend the evening with a real man?'

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. 'I really hope you don't mean yourself.'

'Well, I certainly don't mean Snivelly here,' he said, savouring the pleasure of degrading Snape in front of Lily.

'Isn't there a Snitch somewhere you should go catch?' Snape asked, his rage rising under his ruse of forced calm.

'What do you see in this jerk?' James asked, ignoring Snape. 'Why are you wasting your time with someone who doesn't appreciate you for who you are?'

'Oh, and in suppose you appreciate me,' said Lily, rolling her eyes.

'I do,' he said. 'So, how about it? Will you come spend the evening with me?'

Snape stood up. 'She's not interested, Potter, now back off.'

'Was I talking to you, Snivellus?' James said sharply.

'I don't care if you are or not. I'm talking to you,' Snape said, 'Just because every other female things your hot shit doesn't mean Lily does. What ignoramus is impressed by an egocentric prick just because he can show off on a broomstick? Well, I've got a suggestion of where you can shove it –'

'Stop!' Lily said, coming between Snape and James. James had drawn his wand. 'Come on, Sev. He's not worth it.'

Lily pulled Snape along by the arm while he continued to glower at James. Several people were staring at them. They stepped into the dungeon corridor, and before the door slammed shut behind them, they heard James say in a singsong voice, 'See ya, Snivellus!'

Snape was shaking with rage as he and Lily walked along the cold hallway. Once well away from the dungeons, they stopped in an empty corridor.

'I hate him so much,' Lily fumed. 'I wish he'd just leave us alone.'

Lily looked at Snape, who had turned his attention out the window. She put a hand on his shoulder. 'Don't believe what he says about you. You're worth more than an entire planet of Potters.'

Snape sighed. 'No, I'm not. I heard what you said about me to Mary the other day.'

Lily took her hand away and let it fall at her side. 'What did I say to Mary?'

'You said you were glad that we weren't in the same House. I know she hates me, and I don't really care, but when you said that I just…'

'Yes, I'm glad I'm not in Slytherin,' Lily admitted, 'but it has nothing to do with you. I would hate to have to spend my days with the likes of Avery and Mulciber and everyone else who uses dark spells on other people as a joke. I really wish you'd be friends with people who aren't destined to become criminals.'

'Just because they want to be that way doesn't mean I will be.'

'Well, it's a pretty good indication,' Lily snapped. She took a deep breath. 'Look, I'm sorry. I'm just tired. I'll see you tomorrow.' She turned and left Snape gazing after her as she walked away.

Next, Harry was following teen Snape as he sat down next to Lily in Potions class. A younger and less rotund Slughorn was at the front of the room, but Snape and Lily were whispering amongst themselves. Harry noticed his father, Sirius, and Lupin not too far away, and James kept throwing suspicious glances back at them.

'But our OWLs are next week,' Lily said. 'We need to study, plus I said I'll help Mary study. She's having a lot of trouble with Transfiguration. Why can't we wait till after exams?'

Snape sighed. 'Fine,' he said coolly, but he was clearly unhappy.

'C'mon, Sev. Don't be mad. Just one more week.'

Her green eyes bore into his, and he smiled.

The scene changed again.

'I told you not to come near me again!' Lily said dangerously. 'I mean it, Severus. Leave me alone. Don't follow me, don't talk to me. Just pretend I'm not here.'

'I can't do that,' he said, advancing in her. 'I told you I'm sorry. It was an accident. Please…'

'How can you stand there and ask for my forgiveness? Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?' she said, her tears barely concealed by the anger in her voice.

'Lily, please. I'll do anything to make it better. Please, give me another chance.'

Snape fell to his knees in front of her. 'Please,' he begged, his glassy black eyes pleading for mercy.

For a moment, Lily seemed to consider him. But she closed her eyes, streams of tears running down her cheeks. 'There's nothing you can do. I don't even know you anymore. What happened to that sweet little boy you used to be?' Silence ensued for a moment before she said, 'Please don't make this any harder than it already is. Don't follow me. Just forget me, okay?'

With that, she left Snape on the stone floor of a deserted hallway. Harry watched as everything good in Snape's life disappeared around the bend. Harry heard adult Snape behind him, fighting his emotion with little success.

A new memory materialized around them. Snape was sitting at the Slytherin table, watching as Lily sat down beside James at the Gryffindor table. Then, several quick flashes of James and Lily passed by in rapid succession. They appeared happy and completely unaware of Snape's presence.

The flashes ended and they were now standing in Kings Cross at the end of their seventh year. James and Lily stood a short distance away. Snape stood on the platform alone and watched them. James picked up his trunk and waved to his mother, and Lily's eyes met Snape's for a moment. Her smile faded, and was replaced by sadness. Then, their gaze was broken, and she followed James, disappearing into the crowd. Snape looked around for his mother, but she was nowhere in sight.

They entered a new, much more recent memory. This time, Snape was sitting in Dumbledore's office, looking dejected. 'How can you not have some feelings for the boy?' Dumbledore asked. 'He is all that's left of Lily. And even though you refuse to see it, he is more like her than his father.'

Snape rubbed his temples. 'I do care about him. But I've lived long enough with my grief to know that caring is the forerunner of pain, and if you don't mind, I do not wish to experience any more of it if I can avoid it.'

Dumbledore smiled. 'You admit you care about Harry?'

'Of course I do. Ever since I found out Lily was pregnant I wished he was –'

'Yes, Severus?'

Snape looked highly embarrassed and sat in silence for several moments. 'I see him and I want so badly for him to be my son, not the son of that idiot Potter. Do you have any idea what that's like to spend your life wanting something you just cannot have?'

Dumbledore steepled his fingers and dropped his gaze. 'More acutely than you'd probably believe.'

'If there was any justice he would be mine.'

'If you care about him, why do continue to treat him the way you do?' Dumbledore asked.

'Because he's a constant reminder of my mistakes!' Snape spat bitterly. 'Surely you could have come to that conclusion. He exists because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. He exists because I didn't listen to Lily's warnings about being associated with the wrong people. He exists because I let her walk away from me!' Snape stood up and threw the chair he had been sitting in against the wall.

'While you cannot be Harry's father,' Dumbledore said calmly, 'your actions throughout the years to ensure his safety are nothing less than any man worthy of being a father would do for his own son.'

Snape sighed. 'It doesn't matter. He hates me, and as long as he is unaware of how I truly feel, I can live with his hatred.'

With that, Harry felt himself being lifted from the mist and found himself back in Snape's classroom.

Harry sat down at a desk, his mind reeling with new memories. Without a word, Snape began replacing his memories into his own mind. Of all the things Harry had just witnessed, the last memory seemed to have had the biggest effect on him, probably because it was the last thing he expected to see.

'Sir,' Harry began tentatively, but he was unsure of what to say. It was an awkward moment before be finally said, 'Thank you.'

'You got what you wanted, Potter,' he said sharply. 'Now if that is all, I have nothing more to say.'

Harry left the room and returned to Gryffindor tower. He had gone to Snape in hopes of learning more about his mother, and while Snape given him that, he had really shown Harry more of himself than anything. And in the end, Harry was grateful.

After settling into bed for the night, an interesting idea crept into this mind, and he fell asleep with a smile on his face.