Chapter Thirteen
I disclaim
Dave sat with Leila in his bedroom and tried to find the words to express to her how he felt, not only about her but their future. She sat across from him on the chairs in front of the fireplace. "I don't want to go through what we've been through ever again. I don't like being away from you especially when it was my fault." Dave paused and rubbed his head. "You're it for me, Leila, you're what's been missing. This may not be a good time this may be the best time, but being apart for these few days made me realize my heart is right. I love you. I need you in my life." Dave was coming across a little whiny so he tried to gather his thoughts. Leila jumped up and ran to the bathroom relieving herself of her dinner. Wow that went well." He got up and followed her.
"I'm sorry." Was all Leila could get out before heaving again. Dave knelt beside her and held her hair. They sat there for another half hour before Leila's body finally stopped convulsing. She lay on the floor with her head in Dave's lap. "Keep going with what you were saying." He looked down and smiled at her. Playing with her hair and stroking her face he continued.
"Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, can we revisit the moving in topic?" He asked causing Leila to sit up. She climbed into Dave's lap and wrapped herself around him. Breathing in his scent she pondered the decision. "I can't promise I won't get mad or pissed off again or that I won't take it out on you. I will vow to not degrade you or scare you." He held her tight against him and stroked her hair. He loved the way she smelled. Like her clothes were fresh from the dryer and her skin and hair always shower fresh.
"Your Mom and Diana are seriously considering a move down here." Leila replied and Dave took this as a change of subject. She felt him slump in disappointment. "If I move in here they can have my house. That way they're not committed to anything in case they don't like it." Dave yanked her back and eyed her hopefully.
"Are you sure? I mean, I don't want to pressure you." He fought the grin spreading across his face.
"Of course you don't mean to pressure me that's why you only ask every other day." Leila had to giggle at him. "But before we take that step, we have a lot to discuss and I know you hate talking and I know you hate talking about feelings but these are things I need to know first." She looked at him sternly so he knew she was dead serious.
"Ok, I'll answer any questions you have." He hated this, why do girls always have to talk about shit? Why can't they read minds so I don't have to spell it out?
"I hate talking about this shit too, David, but I need to know. You've been married and have two almost grown kids. Does this change how you feel about doing it again?" Leila couldn't look at him. She laid her head on his shoulder and breathed in his natural scent. He smelled clean, sure, but that underlying manly smell. The caveman scent we all know each man has. That familiar instinctual odor that we could recognize blindfolded.
"Before Monday, I would have doubted it. I don't want to fail you, Lei. I'm not good at marriage and yes I've done the daddy thing. I travel four out of seven days a week, you travel. How is that conducive to a baby? How is that fair to you? You'd be 80 single mother and is that what you want?" He wanted her to think of these things as fact and not possibilities. "When we go overseas a few times a year I may not be home for a month."
"I realize this. I've seen the wrestling business break families apart because the wife can't handle it. I've also seen them thrive because they miss eachother terribly and it brings them closer when they do see eachother. Wrestling's not forever, Dave. You're not 25 and doing this for another 15 years. I can travel with you when you want, my schedule is a helluva lot more flexible than yours. I'm not tied to a desk." Leila stood and began pacing. "I never thought I'd get married much less want too. I never thought a family was an option for me." Leila turned and looked at Dave. "You fucked up everything. Now I see these things as an option. I'm not doomed to be the old lady with 80 cats. I don't care if you didn't pick the right girl two other times." She knelt in front of him. "All I care about is you and me. Can you give me that?" Tears filling her eyes and her voice cracked.
"It's all I want." I'm pushing 40 and talking about the chance of babies again? What the fuck? "I know you're the one I want, the kids thing I'm not so sure. I am willing to consider it, but for now I just want to know you're not going anywhere." He gave her a look that told her everything in his heart. He would go the extra mile for her if she simply asked; he would make all her dreams come true even if he didn't agree. If she wanted to marry and have babies with him, he should be honored she chose him. They looked at eachother deciding if they should say more or let it go for today. There was a knock on the bedroom door and Dave went to answer it.
"Are you two ok?" Michelle asked and told Dave the girls were going to bed. He left to say goodnight to his girls and Michelle went into the bathroom to check on Leila. She was still kneeling in the middle of the room and playing with her nails. "Leila?" She looked at Michelle with tears in her eyes. "Oh, sweetie what happened?" She cradled Leila as she cried.
"I'm scared." Leila choked out.
"Of what? Tell me what's wrong." Something happened between Dave and Leila.
"He's going to hurt me I just know it. I'll think everything's going great and then he'll make all of it come crashing down." Leila was starting to freak out and Michelle thought there was more to that answer. Dave had walked back in and stood just outside the door listening.
"What did you talk about? Why would he hurt you?" Michelle replied making Leila look at her.
"Something will happen to trigger it and he'll start all over again. Something will happen and he'll change his mind and I'll be too far into it to do anything and I'll have to live with his decisions." Michelle wiped Leila's tears as she rambled.
"Leila, Dave would quit wrestling if you asked. Dave would give up his dreams if it meant you'd be happy." Michelle got up and sat in the chair. "This is a nice chair." Leila laughed. "Look, are you worried about having a family?" Leila shook her head.
"He's a great dad to your girls and I admit I want that for myself. I love Abby and Maggie and wouldn't change that for anything, but they're your girls." Leila hoped she didn't sound rude or disrespectful but Michelle completely understood. "He's been married, he's had his kids, why would he want to do that again?"
"Because it's you, Lei. Don't you get that? He's afraid he'll fail you in some way. Tim and I had a huge discussion about the same things when we got married. I'd already had kids, I thought I was finished with that part of my life. Tim's never had any of his own and he's helping raise another man's children. It's hard. I know he loves the girls as if they were his, but it's not the same and I understand that. Just tell him how you feel. Dave may hate girly talks but he'll listen all week. I don't know how many times over the years I called him in the middle of the night dumping everything on him. All he did was listen and let me carry on. In the end I only needed someone to be a sounding board, I wasn't looking for an opinion, just someone to hear my side of things or let me complain. In all honesty outside of Tim, he's my best friend." Dave was surprised at Michelle's aspect. He never thought of it that way, it was unfair to Leila and he never wanted anything unfair to happen to her.
"How do I say, hey Dave, wanna make a baby? Or hey, Dave, let's get married and have a family. Like we pointed out earlier today, it's only been a few months." Leila looked at her hands again.
"Where's it written that there's a waiting period before an engagement or marriage? If you love him and he loves you and you both know without a doubt you want to be with eachother then just do it. Does he know all of your shit?" Leila looked up not knowing how to answer. She sat for a second and decided to answer honestly.
"Almost all of it, he knows the majority of the heavy stuff but there's one thing he doesn't know." Leila confessed. She wondered how much Michelle knew if anything. Dave wondered what could have possibly been left out. He knew what he thought were her deepest darkest secrets, what more could there be?
"Does he need to know this information? Will it break the relationship if you don't tell him?" Michelle's curiosity was killing her. Something very bad happened to Leila and Dave knew it, well almost all of it apparently.
"I don't think it would make him leave, but I'm sure it's something he'd want to know." Leila stood from the floor and sat on the counter. Michelle looked at her to continue. "When I was younger, a lot younger, I had an abortion. It wasn't an option. I was 12 years old." Leila's voice cracked and Michelle saw a few tears drop to her lap. Dave rounded the corner into the room and stood leaning against the door frame. Neither female knew he was there yet.
"Oh shit, Leila. Does Dave know the situation surrounding this?" Michelle was stunned but kept going with her support. She couldn't imagine her own girls having had an abortion already. Leila shook her head.
"That's the only detail he doesn't know. I've only been with Dave my whole life." Leila confessed. Michelle tried putting the pieces together. If she'd only been with Dave, the pregnancy must have been a result of something she didn't want to even think about. Dave was shocked to say the least. He just assumed Leila had had other relationships. He knew she'd had boyfriends but now knew she never slept with anyone but him. The reality dawned on him. Leila trusted Dave enough to make love with him. She gave that part of herself to only him. This was more than run of the mill love. Now he got scared. Michelle looked up and saw Dave, she instantly knew he didn't know that part. "How do I tell him…" She looked up and saw him standing there. She jumped off the counter, "Dave…" Fresh tears sprung to her eyes as she realized he heard her. She wanted to run out but he was in the doorway.
"Why didn't you tell me?" His face turned to hurt.
"It's not something that's easy to say. I was just glad I didn't have to tell you the other stuff and you found out another way." Leila did her usual and played with her nails.
"Not that. I understand that. Why didn't you tell me it's only been me?" Dave fought the crack in his voice.
"Does it matter? Would it have changed things?" Tears fell down her face.
"Oh god, Leila, yes, it would have changed everything." Dave looked at her with a mix of emotion and Leila's worst fears were coming true. They both forgot Michelle was in the room and she stayed silent. He's leaving me I just know it. Dave ran his hands over his head and face. "I would never have been with you that soon had I known."
"That soon? What difference does it make? You knew all about my brother and my step horror and yet you still chose to be here, you still chose to be with me and make love with me…" Leila was getting angrier by the second.
"Leila, it would have changed things because you chose me. Out of all the guys in the world you chose me to be that guy. I would have taken more time, I would have been more careful with you, gentler, anything to make it better for you." Dave looked at her with his hands on his hips. His eyes saying he blames himself, he took advantage of a situation instead of playing it carefully. Michelle sat there, her heart aching for these two. Listen to him, listen to the love in his voice, that is something new.
"If I didn't want too or wasn't ready, nothing would have happened. I'm a big girl now Dave, I can defend myself. And you're right. I chose you, I chose you at that time, on that day. My choice; and a damn good one I must say." Leila's fire was slowly simmering down and Dave and Michelle had to smile at her comment. He looked at her and melted. Dave slowly crossed the room and held her burying his face in her hair. Michelle left the room and closed the door.
"I'm glad you chose me." Dave kissed her with passion, fierce loyalty and passion. Leila loved the feel of his tongue against hers, he always tasted good. "I love you." He twisted his fingers in her hair and pulled her head back. He loved the nooks and crannies of her neck. The way she shuddered when he kissed her collarbone, the way she reacted naturally under his touch, the way she said his name in that sexy lust induced throaty voice.
"No more talking. No more emotional shows. Let's just be together. Leila whispered.
"Come hell or high water, baby girl." He picked her up and carried her to the bed. Unsure if it was inappropriate to make love after the discussion they just had, he hesitated. He kept his actions to just kissing her and waited for her to guide him. Dave didn't have to wait long as Leila was quick to relieve him of his shirt. She swiftly undid the button and zipper to his shorts and shoved her hands into his boxers. She worked him like she hadn't touched him in months. He couldn't hold back a loud groan and tried to keep his eyes in the front of his head. He ripped her shirt off, another one he'd have to replace and yanked at her bra. Thank god for front closures but they were harder than the back. He stood up and removed the remainder of his clothes and she jumped up doing the same. She eyeballed his body and felt herself growing hotter.
She shoved him against the wall and dropped to her knees. No romance, no teasing, just all out dick sucking. His hands in her hair fighting to shove her head down onto him. The way she maneuvered him drove him insane and he grabbed her arms yanking her straight up and turning to pin her against the wall. Leila wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Dave was having none of that and he pinned her arms above her head. He lowered his head to each breast kneading them as he played with her nipples. She tried pushing against his arm with her hands but he held them against the wall. Her legs gripped his waist tighter as his free hand teased the back of her thighs and ass. He let her hands go and put his hands on her ass, lifting her higher against the wall. His tongue plunged into her then caressed her hottest spot. He teased her masterfully and brought her quickly to her release. Just shy of her explosion he dropped her down and lowered her onto him.
Her warmth surrounding him, sheathing him tight made all the blood rush right out of his head. Leila gripped his arms digging her nails into him trying to control herself. Her hips had a brain of their own and began grinding against him urging him to push deeper into her. This would not be slow and methodical, this would be animalistic. He pushed her hips into the wall and moved at a good pace. The position of his body against hers rubbed her just right and her desires quickly rose again. She grabbed his head and kissed him hard, her tongue making love to his. That was all Dave needed the tandem lovemaking drove him closer and closer. "Baby girl…" She knew exactly what that meant and she worked her hips controlling both of their climaxes. Both of them moaning louder and louder Dave gave a few final deep thrusts and they both released their all. "Marry me, Leila."