Chapter Twenty-One

I Disclaim, I don't want too, but I do

Clarity. It hit Dave like a ton of bricks. Yes, he wanted to marry her, yes he feared for the life of not only Leila, but his baby as well. His baby. The baby he created with Leila, created out of love. He thought he wanted to marry her and thought he was ready to be a father again, but he always had doubts deep down. He still questioned himself and that's what bothered him most. Just when he thought he figured it out his brain would contradict his heart. Each time he was away from Leila, he thought he knew for sure. Nothing was as clear to him as it was at this very moment. Dave's asthma was in full swing as he tried to figure out what to do for Leila. A nurse passed by and Dave grabbed her. She noticed he was gasping for air and called for help. They let Dave sit in the hallway in front of the exam room and use the oxygen mask. He handed her a paper with the names and phone numbers on it of who to call and she said she'd help him.

Dave blamed himself for this. Its stress, he had stressed her out to the point of losing one or both of them. He watched nurses and doctors go in and out of that room and none of them stopped to tell him what was going on, he tried several times to get their attention but it was like he was invisible. He sat there rubbing his head and thinking back to the past few months. Why did he do this to her, to himself, to his family? He was such a hypocrite and it was caused by fear, his Jekyll and Hyde attitude fucked up this whole thing. Dave's phone rang and he saw it was Michelle. He answered it to find Michelle in hysterics with worry. Hearing Michelle's voice was enough to send him over the edge. He started crying and repeatedly saying he was sorry. He started off with his relationship with her and the girls.

He praised her for being a wonderful mother to them and for allowing him to be so involved. They shared all the hurt and pain and anger they'd caused one another. They shared all their memories of the happy times from when they met to when the girls were born. Michelle admitted to Dave he was her best friend, even more than her husband. Dave said the same thing and he still loved her as he did in high school. She laughed at how gently he tried to say I love you like a friend. They continued to talk as Michelle packed a suitcase and the girls packed themselves. Tim would come down tomorrow with his mom, sister and brother. She offered to call whomever Dave wanted and he rattled off everyone who's name was on their list just in case the nurse hadn't called some.

Michelle and Dave talked as Tim drove them to the airport and all the way through security. They didn't hang up until the girls were on the plane and the flight attendant was practically taking the phone from Michelle. "A few hours and we'll be there, we'll come straight there." They exchanged I love you's and hung up. Abby and Maggie had never seen their parents like this, they knew they were friends and had been friends, but to see their Mom rally around their Dad when he needed her most showed them how to be a great woman; a caring, loving and compassionate friend who still stood by her ex-husband through thick and thin. Michelle's actions displayed trust, kindness, unconditional support for someone and in normal divorced circumstances would never have flown to Florida on a moment's notice.

Michelle was silent the entire flight but a few stray tears could be seen every so often. The girls didn't understand the emotion Michelle was showing and they asked her what was really going on. She smiled at her babies and kissed them both. "When you become a Mother, when you learn you're going to be a Mother, you're entire way of thinking is altered. You're sole purpose is to protect and nurture and guide this new person. You've seen this behavior in a natural state when you watch your animal shows, human mothers are the same way; we will fight to the death for our children." She paused and took a deep breath. "If something happens to this new person whether good or bad, it's overwhelming. All Mothers can relate when something scary happens to another woman's child. You begin to fear for your own children."

Michelle wiped a few tears as she tried to explain the feelings. "I think about how lucky I was to have two beautiful baby girls with two easy pregnancies and two easy births. And Leila, that poor girl, this is her first child and something has gone horribly wrong." Michelle's voice crack and she was hit with new tears. "She must be so frightened." Michelle gained control again and tried to continue. "I'm not sure how much you've heard or seen, but your dad was a little shaky about building a new life. He wasn't sure if he wanted to get married again or be a father again. Two things Leila had never done but had dreamt of her whole life. She overheard us talking one night and that's why she left. She already knew she was pregnant and Dave's words convinced her he wouldn't want this baby. Your Dad never figures things out until it's either on the edge of breaking or its done and over. He thought he'd lost Leila forever and figured it out then she was the true one for him. I had known from the night I met her that she was Dave's perfect match."

Michelle smiled as she thought back. "Your father, in the event you never noticed, is not good with words or emotions. He hates talking about feelings, hates showing emotion, but that's all grandma and I did for the past months is beat him with it. I think making him talk about his feelings may have made him question it instead of help. And now that things were calming down, Leila is rushed to the hospital." Michelle didn't want to go too far and reveal Dave went from overbearing and controlling to soft and gentle, it was not a good combo with Leila's bouncing hormones. Many a night Michelle and Leila had talked about Dave and the best thing to do to keep his mind clear. His moods swung just as much as Leila's and she was constantly confused. Several times Michelle had to talk her out of leaving again, he was like a yo-yo with her.

------------------------------------------------

Nobody had told Dave anything and nobody had left that room in a long time. Of course nobody had gone in either. Something was definitely going on and each time he thought about it he triggered his asthma again. Within a few hours Dave was joined by his family and a few close friends, Steph, Paul, Vince, Linda and Ric and his new wife, Tiffany. Vince, Ric and Paul got Dave to go for a walk and try to relax. They used the common phrase of 'I'm sure they're doing everything they can' but it just angered him. They did a few laps around the hallway to calm down and get control of his breathing. They all could see how frightened Dave was and the fact that he hadn't heard anything made matters ten times worse.

As the men walked back to the exam room the doctor was coming out. "Leila is in recovery and she'll be ready for visitors soon. A nurse will get you when it's time." He walked back in and left them all wondering. A few minutes later a nurse approached them and led them down the hall to Leila. Everyone stopped and looked at Dave as they stood in front of her door. He was nervous to go in the room and find out what he dreaded most. Michelle took his hand and walked him to the door, smiling at him in encouragement. She hugged him and gave him a gentle push to go inside. He slowly went in and saw Leila lying there with her eyes closed. It was flat.

Her tummy was flat. Dave went to her side and sat next to the bed, taking both hands in his. The tears welled in his eyes and he didn't fight the emotion. His heart was breaking and he felt overwhelmed and out of control. He kissed Leila's hands and put his head next to hers. "I'm so sorry, baby girl. It's all my fault." Dave forced out through his tears. "I love you now more than ever and I will always love you." He took a deep breath, "I'm sorry for being hypocritical about us and the baby. I'm sorry for not at least showing you every day how much I value you in my life. Flowers and fancy dinners aren't enough, wining and dining you isn't enough." He blew his nose and wiped his tears. "I'm sorry I was so hard on you about every little thing, I'm sorry I treated you like antique glass, but most of all I'm sorry for causing doubt in your mind and making you think you had to leave."

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes focusing on the room before turning to see Dave. His eyes were red and wet with tears which she wiped away. He hugged her and kissed her firmly. He stroked her face and played with her hair as her grogginess faded.

"I love you, Leila." He choked out barely able to be heard.

"I love you, David." She replied smiling at him. "Have you seen him?" Dave shook his head.

"All he told us was you were in recovery and I came right here." He kissed her again.

She held his face in her hands and made him focus on her. "Have you seen your son?" He looked at her and his expression changed instantly.

"My son?" He didn't want to get his hopes up that everything was okay.

"He looks just like you, but cuter." She kissed him to confirm she was serious.

"He's okay?" Fresh tears fell down his face and it made Leila cry too. "How do you know he's okay? You've been out."

"He's great, Dave. He needs help breathing right now, but other than that, he's wonderful." Leila giggled at him and stroked his face. Dave sat there looking at her; she was officially the mother of his child now, his son's mother.

"When can we see him?" He was still in shock and truly needed to see it to believe it. Leila slowly sat up and asked for the wheelchair.

"The doctor said we could go to the NICU as long as I'm wheeled in this goofy chair." Dave lifted her and placed her tenderly in the chair. She grabbed a blanket and he wheeled her out. She jumped when she saw all the people in the hallway and she was instantly swarmed with hugs and kisses. They all noticed she wasn't pregnant anymore but everyone was respectful and didn't say anything. Abby and Maggie struggled with their emotions and fought the tears. Leila grabbed their hands knowing what everyone was thinking.

Dave spoke first, "Anybody want to see the baby?" Stunned faces and another round of hugs and kisses told him his answer and they all went to NICU. Michelle gave Dave an extra long hug conveying all her support to him. He whispered to her, "Thank you for being here, I needed you."

"Always, Dave, I will always be here." She whispered back.

As they stood in the window Dave and Leila instantly knew which baby was theirs, smiles filling their faces. "Oh, baby girl, I can't believe it, how amazing!"

Dave's mom hit his arm and he pointed to the left. "It's a boy!" Mary said excitedly and it was hard for them to be relatively quiet. The nurse came out and asked Dave and Leila if they wanted to come in, which they did. Another round of tears hit Dave as he looked down at his son. He was a big boy, the largest in the room, you'd never know he was six weeks early. They sat on either side of the incubator and spoke to their new baby boy. They held his little hands and touched him all over so he knew they were there. Leila glanced up and saw everyone in the hallway crying. Her new family was here and supporting her and her son, their new little brother, new grandson, another beautiful gift for this incredible extended family and the family that saved her life.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the room everyone gathered around the bed to pick a name for the new little bundle. They each wrote down five names including middle names and they'd all vote for the best. Abby and Maggie were thrilled to be included in such a monumental decision and they couldn't stop smiling.

"Okay." Dave said as he gathered everyone's lists. "These suggestions will be anonymous so nobody knows who said which name." They all agreed. "Thumbs up or thumbs down, ready?" He stood at the front with the rolling table as if this were a courtroom. "Let's begin." After each name was read Dave tallied the votes and had the top five to vote for the final decision.

"Alexander, or Xander for short, Braeden, Dominic, Griffin or Maddox. Sorry Magpie, none of your Harry Potter names made the list. Good try though, Draco's not bad." The group once again wrote down their choice for the baby's name and passed them to Leila this time. She carefully read each one and folded the paper so nobody could see.

"We have a winner!" She said smiling as they all looked at her intently.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Out of the names given above, I'll let the readers decide. If nobody chooses I'll be forced to do it myself!!

Thanks again to everyone for reading this and following the story of Dave and Leila, I also appreciate the reviews as they give me courage to continue and work harder.