My thanks to Ponys, georgesgurl117, and Ad Hominem Argument for your kind words. Thanks, guys!
Benson & Bond
Chapter Seven
Mr. Ott felt something was wrong when he noticed no there were no guards by the Icelander's gangplank. As they walked through the lifeless ship, the sinking feeling he had in the pit of his stomach increased in size. Once he and Lena arrived on the bridge, Mr. Ott's suspicions were confirmed. The bridge was also empty of the crew--the entire ship had been abandoned.
Lena checked the bank of computers--whose monitors only showed static--and reported, "They've been all wiped clean."
"Jergens heard about the explosion at the holding facility and ran like a dog," Mr. Ott said with disgust. "Operation Diamondhead is over. It's everybody for themselves, now."
"No, that can't be!" Lena cried, stunned.
"Yes, it is," Ott gently told her. "You must go to Zurich, now. Jergens is probably halfway there by now. He'll no doubt try and blame it all on me. You need to get there and tell them what really happened. He was the one who hired Marko in the first place."
"But what about you?"
"I must find Marko and kill him. That son of a bitch is the one who fucked us all, and I'm not about to let him get away with it."
"But Marko has the other bomb!" Lena cried hysterically. "You'll be--"
Ott caressed her face and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I will kill Marko before he can even set the bomb off. I know where he might be headed. He kept whining about this girl, Needham. I looked up her address. I will be fine. But if you don't go to Zurich and make our case before the master, then neither of us will survive Spectre's wrath. Do you understand?"
Lena nodded, yet her face still had a pained expression of regret.
"This is not the time for melodramatics," Mr. Ott firmly told her. "You must get out of New York. Go, now!"
Letting out a whimper, Lena grabbed him in a tight hug. "I love you!"
Mr. Ott reached down and gently grabbed her by the chin. When she glanced up at him, he said, "You were one of the best Spectre agents whom I've ever trained. I shall see you in Zurich."
"You promise?" Lena said hopefully.
"Promise," Mr. Ott said.
They kissed passionately--until Mr. Ott pushed her away. "Now go," he ordered her.
Lena reluctantly did as she was told. And as he watched her leave the ship, Mr. Ott thought, 'If nothing else, you shall be safe, my love.'
B&B
'This is wrong,' Bond thought, as he watched Felix get ready to leave with the assault team. They were gearing up to check out the place that Marko had out on Long Island. Yet there was something bothering James about this whole set up.
After bidding Felix farewell, M strode over to Bond--who stood by the windows of the conference room. "I wished him luck," M said, "but I really think Felix's going on a fool's errand."
"I couldn't agree more," Bond told her. "I don't think they'll find anything at that Long Island address. It's just too easy. And Marko knows that. It'll be the last place he'll go."
"But what other leads do we have?" M asked.
Bond glanced over at Olivia, who sat with Elliot Stabler. "I'll try and find out."
As he walked up to them, Bond noted that Olivia appeared to be very chummy with Elliot--far more than just partners should be. They sat holding hands and speaking softly to each other like lovers.
'Wait, they are lovers,' he realized, with a slight smile. 'Good for her.'
Olivia glanced up at him with concern. "Is everything all right?"
"Felix is going with the FBI's HRT out to Marko's address on Long Island," Bond replied. "Felix is a good, competent man, one whom I'd trust with my life, if need be. But I think he's been sent off on a wild goose chase."
Elliot nodded his head in agreement. "Marko would never go out there, because he knows that we know about it."
"Exactly," Bond said.
"But if Marko was going to set off the bomb, why didn't he do it by now?" Olivia said. "What's he waiting for?"
"Good question," Bond commented. "We have no other leads at the moment. But the both of you have dealt with Marko before--as Luke Marcus. Is there anything you can give me--anything at all--that can give us a clue as to where he might be?"
"The feds are crawling all over his former homes," Olivia said thoughtfully. "He blew up another one right in front of us…there's really nothing left in the city for him to turn to right now."
"What about people?" Bond asked. "Is there anybody he can count on for help?"
"The bastard thought he was in love with his last rape victim," Elliot said with disgust. "But she didn't share his feelings. What's her name again, Liv?"
"Tracy Needham," Olivia said.
And then both Olivia and Elliot slowly turned their heads and gave each other a thoughtful look.
"He is dying," Elliot said. "Maybe he wants to pay one last visit to a woman, who, in his mind, was his great love."
"Tracy Needham," Olivia said again--this time with more meaning. "She's really the last link Marko has here in New York."
"Who's Tracy Needham?" Bond asked.
B&B
"Mom, I'm home," Tracy called, as she entered the house. She dropped her school books on the kitchen table with a weary sigh. She was grateful that her last class of the day at community college got cancelled. This gave her some time to get something to eat before heading off to work at the mall.
"Mom?!" she called again. The house seemed unusually quiet. "I'm just gonna grab something to eat before I head off to work, ok? Mom, did you--"
Tracy stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a pair of feet sticking out on the floor in the living room. When she ran up to the doorway, she was stunned to see her mother sprawled out on the floor, laying very still.
"MOM!" Tracey screamed, as she ran to her mother's side. The woman had a pulse, slow and steady. But she was out cold. Blood trickled from a wound on her head, soaking the carpeting.
Panic gripped Tracy as she tried to figure out what had happened. Did she trip? Did she fall? What did--
Tracy did a double take when she saw Luke Marcus standing casually in the doorway. "I had to do that," he muttered, staring coldly at the unconscious woman. "But then, your mother and I never did get along…."
As much as she hated to leave her mother, sheer panic made Tracy get up and run for the door. She had spent several horrific days in captivity, being a sexual slave to this monster, and after having an experience like that branded onto her psyche, Tracy swore she would never endure that kind of horror again.
As she ran, the front door flew towards her.
'I have Olivia and Elliot's phone number,' she thought. 'As soon as I get away, I'll call them!'
The door came ever closer as she continued running.
'I'll get help for mom!' Tracy swore. 'And this time, I'll make sure this bastard gets locked away forever!'
And yet just before she reached the threshold of the door, Tracy let out a scream as she was grabbed from behind.
B&B
"Nothing," Olivia said, as she switched off her cell. "I keep getting their answering machine."
She sat in the passenger seat of the Aston Martin as Bond drove at high speed down the highway. "I really hope she's all right," she said, looking concerned.
"This may be yet another wild goose chase," Bond warned her.
Elliot poked his head up from the back seat. "We'll never know as long as you keep driving like an old lady. Can't you get this tub to move any faster?"
Bond glared at him, then shot Olivia a puzzled look. "Why did we bring him along again?"
"Because I'm her partner, Jimmy," Elliot said. "Look, I can get us there faster. So just pull over and let me drive, ok?"
"Over my dead body," Bond blandly muttered.
Elliot grinned broadly at him. "Well, Jimmy, if you insist…."
"Boys, knock it off," Olivia curtly told them. "Call it a hunch, but I've got a real bad feeling about this."
"You want fast, Stabler?" Bond asked. "How's this?"
He stomped on the accelerator, causing the Aston Martin's engine to let out a roar as it instantly responded, flying down the highway at lightning fast speed.
Elliot, who had been flung against the back seat when the car speeded up, nodded his head in approval. "Now that's what I'm talking about, Jimmy!"
B&B
"At last," Marko said, as he caressed Tracy's hair. "We can finally be together, in our last moments on this earth."
"You're insane!" Tracy cried. She sat on the floor in the living room, next to the unconscious body of her mother. Not able to move, Tracy's hands and feet had been tied with rope.
"Only insane with desire to be with you, my love," Luke said, letting out a cough. It abruptly occurred to Tracy that he really didn't look too good. He held up what looked like a remote control in the palm of his hand and added, "One flick of this switch, and we shall be together, forever, in oblivion."
"What happened to you, Luke?" Tracy asked, trying to keep her voice calm. She wasn't sure if his threat was for real, but Tracy figured that if she kept talking to him, she might be able to talk him out of whatever he had planned. "Tell me, what's wrong?"
"Nothing an eternity spent with you will--" Luke began to say, then stopped. He suddenly glanced out the windows. "Did you hear something?"
'Oh God, let it be the police,' Tracy prayed. "Um, I didn't hear anything, Luke," she said. "What did you--?"
Before she could even finish her question, Tracy let out a scream as she watched the top of Luke Marcus' head get blown off. He collapsed to the floor, already dead. For a split second, she thought he had killed himself--until Tracy realized there was now a large bullet hole in the front window.
'Police sniper!' Tracy thought giddily.
Rolling across the floor, Tracy used the chair by the window to help herself to stand up. When she first saw the man outside with the gun, Tracy smiled. But then she got a good look at him.
He had a scar running down half his face, and the eye on that side was white and dead. He didn't look like any policeman that Tracy recognized. And when he saw her, Tracy's fear was confirmed when the man coldly raised his gun to shoot her.
Yet the man was interrupted by the sound of a car engine that was fast approaching. Tracy watched as he lowered his gun and ducked under cover in the surrounding foliage.
Still stunned, Tracy sat down in the chair and thought about her predicament. She was tied up with her unconscious mother and the body of the man who molested her both laying on the floor before her. The dead Luke Marcus stared up at her with a glazed-over look in his eyes and a slightly stupid smile on his face.
"What the fuck is going on here?" she asked incredulously.
But if the late Luke Marcus knew, he wasn't going to tell her.
B&B
"We've got a car," Bond said, as he pulled the Aston Martin into the driveway of Tracy Needham's home. There was a sedan parked in front of the home, which was set back from the main road by about an acre. It was a very private, secluded house--which set Elliot's nerves on edge. 'It's the perfect place for an ambush,' he thought.
As soon as he, Olivia and Bond all got out of the car, they pulled out their guns. When he and Olivia exchanged a look, Elliot realized that she didn't like this set up, either. Something was wrong, here…something very wrong.
And then, they heard a young woman cry out from within the house: "What the fuck is going on here?"
"Tracy?" Olivia called, as she began running towards the house.
"No, Liv, wait--!" Elliot called, but it was too late, she was already inside.
'Damn it, Liv,' Elliot thought, as he began running up to the front door. 'Always putting others before yourself….'
Elliot stopped running when Olivia suddenly appeared again. Both her hands were held up, and she had a disgusted look on her face as a man came out from the house right behind her with a gun held to her head. It was Mr. Ott.
'Oh, Christ, no!' Elliot thought, with growing horror. He tried to aim his gun at Ott's head, but the one-eyed man expertly kept the helpless Olivia right in front of Elliot's Glock.
"You all right?" Elliot asked her.
"I've been better," Olivia replied, an annoyed look on her face.
"Where's your boyfriend?" Ott harshly asked her.
"You're looking at him," Olivia replied, giving Elliot the slightest of smiles.
He never loved this woman more than he did right now. 'No matter what happens, I'm getting her out of this alive,' Elliot swore. 'No way in hell am I losing her now, not after I finally realized how much she truly matters to me!'
"I meant Bond!" Ott roared, shaking Olivia. "Where the hell is Bond?"
'Good question,' Elliot thought, as he cast a furtive glance around him. There was no sign of the English spy. 'Don't know where he ran off to, but might as well use it to our advantage.'
"It's just us," Elliot told him. "Just us three here, nobody else. So how about you put the gun down, and--"
"I've got the hostage!" Ott said. "That means I'm in charge here!"
"Oooo, what a big, bad man," Olivia muttered with disgust. "He's probably got a penis as small as a--"
"Be quiet, bitch!" Ott told her.
"Ok, ok, easy now," Elliot said, as he quickly switched gears. "You're in charge. So what do you want?"
"I want you to drop your weapon on the ground, now!" Ott commanded.
"Can't do that," Elliot firmly told him. He kept his Glock pointed at them, hoping for a clear shot of Ott's head. "Anything else I can help you with? Hey, how's about we order out for pizza?"
"Can I have extra pepperoni on mine?" Olivia asked. "No anchovies, though, I hate that shit."
"Both of you, shut up!" Ott shouted. He abruptly aimed the gun at Elliot and added, "Starting with you!"
Elliot froze when he realized he still didn't have a clear shot at Ott--yet Ott had him dead to rights.
Elliot flinched when he heard the gunshot, but he never felt the bullet hit him. When he glanced up, Elliot's eyes grew wide at the sight before him.
Olivia stood with an equally stunned look on her face as Mr. Ott--what was left of him--slowly released her and fell back against the exterior wall of the house. He slid down to the ground, yet Elliot could see that he was already dead from the bullet hole in his face--ironically, the bullet had gorged out his whitened eye, leaving him only the good eye, which stared up at the sky in shocked amazement.
"Come here," Elliot said, taking Olivia by the hand and pulling her towards him. They embraced tightly. "Christ, Liv, are you all right?"
"I am now," she replied, giving him a kiss. "Good shooting."
"It wasn't me," Elliot said.
Elliot and Olivia stared as Bond emerged from the bushes with a sniper's rifle held in one arm. "You all right?" he asked Olivia with concern.
"Yeah," she gratefully replied. "Thanks!"
Bond cradled the rifle in his arms like a baby as he stood over the dead Ott with a mixture of satisfaction and relief. "Don't look so shocked, old boy," he told the dead man, who still had a stunned expression frozen on his face. "I told you I'd go for the head shot the next time we'd meet."
"Excuse me?!" Tracy Needham cried from inside the house. "My mother needs medical help; I'm tied up, and there's a dead guy bleeding all over the new carpet!"
They quickly went inside and found Tracy alive and unharmed and sitting in a chair. Elliot cut her loose while Olivia checked out her mother, who was sprawled on the floor. The body of Luke Marcus lay on the other side of the room.
"She needs a bus, El," Olivia said, as she took out her cell and called in a request for an ambulance.
Once Elliot had freed her, Tracy knelt down next to Olivia beside the prone form of her mother. "She's gonna be all right," Olivia assured her. "She just needs to get to a hospital."
Elliot saw Bond was carefully examining something in the hand of the dead Luke Marcus. 'Or was it Marko?' Elliot wondered. 'Guess it don't matter now, because this bastard's also dead. And good riddance…'
"What you got?" Elliot asked Bond.
"The detonator for a nuclear bomb," Bond coolly replied. "Marko was still holding it in his hand, his finger over the trigger, when Ott shot him. It's a bloody miracle the thing didn't go off."
A chill shot up Elliot's spine at the thought of how close they'd all come to armageddon. Then a new scary thought struck him. "Where's the bomb?"
"Good question," Bond said, as he carefully removed the detonator from Marko's death grip. "This gizmo looks like a short range model, so the bomb should be right in the neighborhood. What say we go bomb hunting, Elliot?"
"Oh…joy…" Elliot muttered with obvious dread. 'Just the thing I really need to do right now, go looking for a lost fucking nuke.'
"Hey, El?" Olivia called over to him. She held the distraught Tracy in her arms. "If you find the bomb, just do me a favor and don't press any buttons, huh?"
"Ha-ha," Elliot said humorlessly.
Once Elliot and Bond went outside, the sight of a Roto-Drainer plumber's truck, which was parked behind the garage, immediately caught their attention. Bond opened the back door, while Elliot covered him. There was a large olive-drab-colored metal box in the cargo space. Elliot noted that all of the writing on the box was in another language…it looked like Russian.
"This is it," Bond said, letting out a sigh of relief. "It's finally over."
Elliot couldn't help but smile at the comical image of finding a nuclear bomb in the back of a plumber's truck. "This son of a bitch would certainly unclog a lot of drains!"
Bond pulled out a call phone and began speaking into it. "M, I've got the bomb, Marko, and Ott. Yes, they're dead," he said after a pause. "Ott killed Marko, and I got Ott. The bomb is secure. Have Felix and the HRT meet us at--one moment, please." He lowered the phone and asked, "Where the bloody hell are we, Elliot?"
"You're in the garden spot of the world, Jimmy," Elliot replied, smiling. "Queens, New York."
B&B
Several hours later, back in New York City, Olivia stood watching on the dock as the FBI's Hostage Rescue Team assaulted the Icelander. She had just come from the hospital with Elliot, where Tracy's mother was being looked after. The woman had suffered a concussion, yet she would be all right.
After tracing phone calls from the cell phones from the deceased Mr. Ott and Marko, all of their leads came back here, to the Icelander.
Olivia watched anxiously as several squads of black-clad, helmeted agents, fully armed with automatic weapons, stormed the gangplanks and ran along the deck of the luxury ship, which appeared to be empty. Olivia stood with Bond, Elliot and Felix--the latter listened intently to a communication device that was in his ear, waiting to hear word from the teams who were now swarming all over the ship.
"Jergens is probably miles away by now," Olivia said with disgust.
"He'd be crazy to hang around," Elliot agreed.
"M has already issued an alert on him," Bond said. "MI6, the CIA, and several other intelligence agencies are now looking for him. No matter where Jergens winds up in the world, once he pops his head up, we'll know it. He's as good as caught."
"They say it's all clear," Felix announced. "With the exception of some servant girls they found locked up below, there's nobody else aboard."
"No unpleasant surprises?" Bond asked.
Felix shook his head. "No bombs, if that's what you mean. The HRT commander says it looks like they bugged out pretty quickly."
"Once they found out Marko had gone rouge with one of the nukes, could you blame them for not wanting to stick around?" Elliot asked.
"In any case, we're clear to go aboard," Felix said.
"You two want to check it out with us?" Bond asked Olivia and Elliot.
"Why not?" Olivia muttered. "We came this far."
Once aboard the Icelander, Olivia was stunned at the opulent luxury that was on display. One dining room aboard the ship was larger than her entire apartment. Olivia had trouble believing that she was aboard a seaworthy vessel, since the interior of the Icelander looked more like a lavish hotel.
For his part, Elliot looked very angry. When Olivia asked him what was wrong, he said, "These fuckers had all of this wealth, and they still tried to extort us with nukes? What, this splendor wasn't enough for them?"
Olivia understood what he meant. She shook her head and said, "Who can truly understand greed, El?"
Bond came up to them with an urgent look on his face. "We've got a problem down below."
"What is it?" Olivia asked.
"It's one of the servant girls," he told her. "She's terrified, and is refusing to come out of her hiding place. The HRT boys are being a little rough with her, and I figured this situation could use a more delicate touch. You feel up to it, Liv?"
"Take me to her," Olivia quickly said.
When Olivia was brought to where the servant girl was hiding, she couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor thing. The girl, who was crouched down behind a large pipe in the engine room, couldn't have been more than late teens-early twenties, at best. She looked to be Filipino, and was terrified out of her mind as she stared at Olivia with wide, frightened eyes.
"Hey, hey, it's gonna be all right," Olivia assured her, as she slowly made her way towards the girl. "You're safe, now. Nobody will harm you." She reached out with her hand. "My name is Olivia Benson, and I'm a detective with the NYPD."
Olivia was stunned when the girl said, "I am a dead woman. For I have seen the face of the devil."
"The devil?" Olivia said. "If you mean Jergens, you have nothing to worry about. He's long gone from here. He can't hurt you."
The girl shook her head. "No, not Jergens. I mean the true devil," she said in a whisper. "The leader of Spectre, the man with the white cat…I saw his face, and I know his real name."
'Oh sweet Jesus,' Olivia thought, as she glanced over at Bond and said, "James, get the fuck over here, now!"
B&B
"Let me just say how sorry I am about the way Operation Diamondhead turned out," Jergens humbly said. He stood in Spectre's secret headquarters, located in Zurich, Switzerland. The view of the snow-capped mountains in the background was now hidden by a series of armored shudders. "It was very unfortunate."
"It was a fiasco!" Spectre's leader said, his voice dripping with disgust. As usual, he sat in the shadows, petting his beloved cat. "A fiasco from which it will take Spectre years to recover and to regroup!"
"I should never have trusted Mr. Ott as much as I did." Jergens bowed his head in the direction of his master. "I now stand ready to do whatever is needed to help, sir," he said. "Anything I can do, anything at all, I shall do it."
"Indeed? You say you shall do anything?"
"Yes sir, and I mean it," Jergens said with conviction. "I shall do anything you wish."
"In that case, you can die," the leader of Spectre said in his icy, casual manner.
Jergens never saw the figure emerge from the shadows behind him until it was too late. By the time he even realized there was somebody behind him, the knife had already been stuck into his back, killing him instantly. His last vision in life was that of the Spectre leader's cat coldly watching him die while it was being gently petted by its master.
Jergens' killer was a petite figure who was all clad in black. She stood over the dead man's body with a satisfied look on her face.
"Well done, Lena," the Spectre leader said. "Mr. Ott has taught you well."
"Thank you, sir," Lena said with a bow to her master. "I only wish--" Her voice caught with emotion. "I-I'm sorry, sir, but I miss him."
"Mr. Ott's death at the hands of Bond is an even greater loss to us than the failure of Operation Diamondhead," the Spectre leader said. "But, rest assured, both the paths of Spectre and Bond shall cross again one day. And when that occurs, Lena, I promise you will have the first shot at killing 007."
Lena's sad expression dissolved into a broad grin. "Thank you sir. I look forward to the day when I kill Bond."
B&B
'Oh, I'm gonna miss you,' Olivia thought, as she lovingly caressed the hood of the Aston Martin. 'I'll never feel safe driving through the streets of New York after you're gone.'
Bond, who stood speaking with Elliot in the one-six parking garage, noticed Olivia's tender moment with a smile and pointed it out to Elliot--who called, "Should we leave you two alone?"
Olivia came over to them and asked Bond, "Are you sure you need to bring the car back with you right away?"
"M gets cranky when I lose my toys," Bond replied. "And you know how scary M can be when she gets cranky…."
Olivia held up her hands with a mock-scared expression. "Say no more! I understand perfectly. Thanks, for all that you've done, James."
"It's you who I should be thanking, Liv," he said. "I wouldn't have been able to do it without you."
They embraced warmly just then. And when they did, Bond whispered into her ear: "And I hope you and Elliot are very happy together. You made a great couple."
Olivia was at first stunned that he knew about their blossoming romance--but then she supposed that she and Elliot didn't exactly go out of their way to hide their feelings for each other. "Thanks," Olivia said, once they broke their embrace. "You heading back to England, now?"
Bond nodded. "To London, to report to M with the real name of Spectre's leader. I guess it's back to the streets of New York for you, eh, Liv?"
"Yeah--" She glanced at Elliot with a slight smile. "But, before that, we're gonna hit the first hotel we see."
Bond laughed at that. "It's always good to keep your priorities straight. Take care, Liv."
"You too, James." She and Elliot watched as he got into the Aston Martin and drove off.
"It's really over," Elliot said, as he drew Olivia into an embrace. "The nightmare's finally over, Liv. What do you want to do to celebrate?"
Olivia glanced up at him with a sly smile and said, "Remember that hotel we were talking about?"
B&B
When Bond strode into M's office several hours later, he found the woman working at her desk. She glanced up at him and nodded. "You said you wanted to tell me something, 007. What is it?"
Bond leaned over her desk and said, "Ernest Starvo Blofeld."
M, looking confused, removed her glasses. "Who?"
"The name of the leader of Spectre," Bond said, slapping a file down on her desk. "Once I got his name, I was able to locate information on him."
"The son of a bitch with the cat?" M said, leafing through the file. "That was Blofeld?"
"A self-made billionaire industrialist, his wife and daughter were involved in a hostage situation several years ago," Bond said, as he took a seat before her desk. "The Special Air Service launched an assault to rescue the hostages, and, unfortunately, Blofeld's wife and daughter were accidentally killed."
"Yes, I recall that incident, now," M said with a gasp. "Blofeld blamed the SAS, as well as the British government, for the death of his family. But I also recall hearing that Blofeld later became so despondent that he killed himself."
"He arranged his death so he could disappear from view," Bond said. "And sine then, he's apparently been setting up the Spectre organization as his twisted revenge. I've managed to track his financial movements since he faked his death--it's all in the file."
"Bloody hell, James, this is a marvelous break!" M said excitedly. "Where did you get his name?"
"I have my sources," Bond said cryptically. The brave young servant girl who gave Olivia and him Blofeld's name was now safely back home with her family in Manila--and Bond wanted to keep it that way. Her name would never leave his lips, no matter what torture he would have to endure. "All I ask now is that I may continue the hunt."
"By all means," M replied. "You have my clearance to find this bastard, and stuff that bloody cat down his throat!"
"With extreme pleasure," Bond said, as he left the office.
When he reached the outer office, a voice asked, "Leaving so soon?"
Bond turned to see Moneypenny seated at her desk with a pout. The mousy secretary had taken off her glasses in an effort to make herself more appealing to Bond, and she was indeed a pretty woman--but he knew better than to sleep with the secretary of the boss.
"Duty calls, Moneypenny," Bond said with a shrug.
"I heard you teamed up with a female detective during your last case, James," Moneypenny said, looking jealous. "Was she pretty?"
"Yes, she was," Bond replied, as he fondly recalled Olivia Benson. "She was that and much, much more. But you know I only have eyes for you, Moneypenny."
"Oh, James," Moneypenny swooned. "Where are you off to, now?"
"To see a man about a cat," Bond replied, as he opened the door and left.
"That's not another one of your silly jokes, is it?!" Moneypenny called after him, frowning.
B&B
"And there you have it," Rachel Ray said, flashing a smile at the camera. "I just had breakfast, lunch, dinner, a tour of the local brewery and a lovely massage--all for just forty bucks!"
"That's Rachel Ray," Olivia said, pointing at the unusually perky woman on the TV in the hotel room. "And so, as you can see, Elliot, she's not a frigging film critic! All right?"
"Got it. But I'd like to see her try and get by on just forty bucks in New York City," Elliot muttered, as he rolled over on his back on the bed. "She'd never get past Times Square before blowing her whole wad."
He watched Olivia, who sat cross-legged beside him on the bed, as she gazed thoughtfully at the TV. She absently collected her shoulder-length hair with one hand and lifted it off of her neck. "Do you think I should get my hair cut, El?"
"Only if you want to," he replied, giving her bare leg a gentle stroke with his hand. "What brought this up?"
"Looking at Rachel makes me think it's time for a change," she replied. "She has long hair, too. Does having long hair make me look perky? I don't want to look perky, especially on the Job. Maybe I should get my hair cut short again."
"You know what I think we should do?" Elliot said. "I think we should forget about Rachel and get back to humping our brains out."
Olivia laughed. "My, how romantic!"
He flinched, smiling broadly, as she reached out and tickled his bare torso. "Ok, so maybe I can't say it as suavely as Mr. James Bond, 007," Elliot admitted. "But at least I can still get the job done."
"James certainly had his merits," Olivia said, suddenly lost in fond memories of their frantic time together. "He could be very harsh--needlessly so at times--but there's a need for that sometimes. And yet there was still a decency to him. I'm glad he's out there, for the dark times, you know?"
Elliot nodded. "Yeah, I do. I've been thinking. It's funny, but it took being on the brink of losing everything to make me realize how much I love you. And I'm very grateful for that realization. And for the chance we have now to act on it."
Olivia leaned over and cradled Elliot's face in her hands. "There's nobody I'd rather be on the brink with than you, El."
They kissed passionately, then resumed their lovemaking--oblivious to Rachel Ray as she continued to perkily burble on in the background.
The End