Note: I'm so sorry it took so long to post this. For some reason, this chapter gave me so much trouble. I literally wrote like 4 different versions of this chapter before finally writing this one up completely from scratch. But I hope you guys like it. I want to thank everyone who's reviewed so far, I really appreciate that you guys took the time to let me know what you thought of the story so far. Also, some people have asked if there would be flashbacks to the past three years that Casey is missing and the answer is YES! Sort of. Anyway, just not yet. Once she finds the diary, it should start revealing what went on back then. I'm thinking it should probably be in the next chapter that she finds the diary. This chapter however is a little more angsty than I wanted but it made sense since it does deal with the aftermath of the doctor visit. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Life With Derek or Dear Myself...but I wish I did /

Chapter Three: The River Denial

Casey sat in the room she apparently shared with Derek. The doctor visit had been a veritable nightmare. Not only had the doctor confirmed everything Derek had told her, so had everyone else; their parents, Lizzie, Edwin, Marti, Emily and Sam. All of whom, were currently waiting the living room. Seeing Nora and George at the doctor's office had been awkward at best (Derek had called them on their way there). Finding out their roommates in the apartment were an ecstatically, happily dating Sam and Emily had just been weird and surreal. But having to face a Nora and George and a Sam and Emily who were three years older had been nothing compared to having to face a Lizzie, Edwin and Marti who were three years older because that she absolutely couldn't deny. Something she'd been frantically doing since she left the doctor's office.

It had all been too much for her. Looking at Nora and George, Casey could pretend she hadn't just lost three years of her life. Same with Derek, Sam and Emily. Even with the foreign reflection she'd seen in the mirror earlier with her hair cut in long layers just past her shoulders, she'd been able to deny the passage of time. But looking at a sixteen-year-old Lizzie, a sixteen-year-old Edwin, and a ten-year-old Marti, she couldn't. And that's what broke her.

Ignoring the expectantly happy faces of her family and friends, the large "Welcome Back" banner hanging from the ceiling and the party favors, she pasted on what she hoped looked like a smile rather than a look of the sheer terror and panic she felt, muttered her excuses, then made a mad dash for the bedroom, locking the door behind her. She got to the middle of the room, took a slow look around her, and then sank slowly to the floor. And she sat there, careful not to think too much about any one thing, but rather letting all the rage and bitterness over what she lost wash over her as the tears flowed and the screams wrenched from the deepest part of her sorrow.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The MacDonald-Venturi clan, along with Sam and Emily, sat awkwardly amongst the bright and happy "Welcome Home" decorations that filled the living room. As the silence stretched on, the blaring bright colors become more and more offensive as they poignantly pointed out the contrast in moods. It was clear to everyone that this was no longer a celebratory event but no one was sure about what they should do now. And so they waited.

Another heart wrenching scream escaped from the room. Derek stood quickly.

"That's it, I'm going in there," he announced but his father stood and stopped him.

"Derek, no," George told him. "Give her time."

"Give her time?" Derek looked incredulous. "She's been in there screaming for over an hour."

"Yeah, I'm surprised no one's reported us to the police yet," Edwin added. "The neighbors probably think we're beating her or something. Oomph…what the?"

"Shut up, Ed," Lizzie told him as she put the pillow she'd used to smack him back behind her.

"Look, I don't care what you say. She's my girlfriend and I'm going in there. She shouldn't be alone right now." Derek made another move towards the bedroom but Nora caught him.

"Derek, honey, I know you want to help Casey but remember what the doctor said? We don't want to do anything that'll make her feel cornered. She just needs some space to process what happened."

"Nora, no offense, but I think I know Casey just a little bit better than you do."

"Uh-uh, not so fast there buddy," Edwin interjected as he stood and slung an arm over Derek's shoulders. Derek shot him a withering glare as he removed his arm then crossed his own arms over his chest. Edwin faltered but continued on.

"Uh…uh, what I mean is I think you're forgetting one little thing." He paused for dramatic effect but the effort was lost on Derek who was clearly not amused.

"Edwin, get on with it," Derek barked out.

"Eh...yeah, okay. She got her old memories back," he began, gesturing towards the bedroom, "meaning that Casey is not the same Casey from yesterday. That is the Other Casey, the one from before the accident."

Edwin finished with a flourish, obviously expecting major kudos for his brilliant observation. Instead, he was met with a silence so deafening not even a cricket would have been heard.

Everyone had realized what Casey's memories coming back had meant; it was just that no one had wanted to be the one to say it out loud. Marti chose that moment to speak for them all.

"I know what it means, Smerek." They all whipped their heads around and looked at the ten-year-old playing with her stuffed monkey. "It means that's the Casey who hates your guts and not the Casey who plays kissy-face with you."

She looked up from playing and smiled brightly, pleased that she now had the undivided attention of everyone in the room. She was completely unaware that with just a simple sentence, she had managed to break her hero's heart.

----------------------------------------------------

Casey was oblivious to the drama going on in the living room; she was immersed in trying to deal with her own issues. She was now lying on top of the bed with a notepad and a pen and was drawing a line down the middle of a page titled "What I know." One column had the mini-header of "The Real Me" while the other was labeled "The Other (Fake) Me." Under "The Real Me" she had listed:

1) I was in an accident three years ago

2) I was in a coma for three months

3) I (supposedly) had amnesia for three years

4) I don't remember the past three years

In the column "The Other (Fake) Me" she wrote down:

1) She went to MY high school graduation

2) She went to MY high school prom

3) She cut MY hair

4) She decided MY college major

This column also had a special mini-header titled "Worst, Most Grievous Offenses" and under that header she wrote:

1) She has me DATING my worst enemy, Derek Venturi!!!

2) She has me SHARING A ROOM with Derek (As in I'm his LIVE-IN girlfriend!)

3) She LOST MY VIRGINITY!!!!! (Has been confirmed by doctor, I checked)

Casey let out a huff of indignation as she went back and added one more underline under "Live-In girlfriend" and "Lost My Virginity." She tossed the notepad and pen aside and let her head drop onto the pillow. She knew she couldn't hide in the bedroom all day but she wasn't ready to face them just yet. How was she supposed to act? Was she supposed to just pretend nothing happened? Was she supposed to sit down and have yet another talk about what happened to her? Over two hours in the doctor's office had her all talked out about the car accident and the coma and the amnesia. Was she supposed to crack jokes about it to lighten the mood? Was she supposed to break down into tears over it? Because to be honest, she was almost positive that if she cried anymore that day, she was in serious danger of dehydrating.

But Casey's true fear, the one she barely admitted to herself, was that they'd expect her to act like the Other Casey; the one who got to live her life the past three years and so selfishly took the memories with her when she left. But how could she act like her if she didn't even know her. In fact, the more she thought about all the things the Other Casey did, the more she doubted they were even the same person despite what everyone else seemed to believe. Casey's suspicions on the subject ranged from some alien having taken over her body to ghostly possession and as insane as those theories were, she would have preferred either one over the truth.

Casey continued to linger, hoping to delay having to face the people eagerly awaiting her in the living room. She tried to wrap her mind around the details, hoping to find some semblance of her former life to cling to before she sat straight up and came to a decision. She smiled to herself over her new found resolve while silently chastising herself for not having come up with the solution sooner. She quickly marched over the drawers and dug around before moving on to the closet until she found what she was looking for. Finally, she paused at the desk and pulled a couple blank note-cards from the pile and jotted down a few sentences on each one. She had to fight a grin as she made her way over to the door and pushed it open.

--------------------------------------------------------------

They heard the bedroom door open hesitantly and everyone swiveled to readjust their attention from Marti over to the dark haired girl standing in the doorway with her brow scrunched looking at them.

Casey was surprised at how quiet everyone was. The MacDonald-Venturis were not known for being quiet. What was weirder was that half the people were standing while the other half remained seated. What hadn't surprised her was that Derek had managed to be center stage. Typical, she thought, and did a mental eye roll. But enough about Derek, she had a task to accomplish and the sooner she did, the more time she would have to retreat into the bedroom and brood without fear of interruption or awkward exchanges. And if anyone had earned the right to brood, it was her. She squared her shoulders, titled her chin up ever so slightly, and let out a sigh before addressing her captive audience.

"Okay, so I've come to the conclusion that I'm just not ready to sit and talk to you guys just yet. I just need a little more time to deal with…everything. Tomorrow. We can definitely do all this tomorrow. But for now, I just want a little more time to myself."

No one made any immediate move but instead they all looked around nervously at each other.

Nora found her voice first. "Sweetie, we support you all the way and if you would like more time, then we can definitely do that."

Casey beamed a magnificent smile at her mother. She was about to say her thanks but Derek interrupted her.

"Umm…Casey?" When she looked over at him, he continued. "Why are you carrying my PJ bottoms, my towel, my shirt, my pillow, and the guest blanket? And more importantly, why are you carrying a pair of my boxers?"

She shoved them all into his arms and because she had caught him off-guard, he accepted them without a fight.

"Because. You didn't honestly expect to spend the night in the bedroom with me, did you? You're sleeping on the couch out here until we get this all straightened out. Now, I'm really very tired so I'll see you guys all tomorrow?" She began to hug everyone goodbye but carefully avoided Derek's proximity, which was fine since Derek appeared to still be in some kind of stupor.

Everyone began to shuffle about. Sam and Emily stood up and began heading towards their own bedroom while Nora and George began to usher the kids towards the front door. Satisfied that her plan had succeeded without a hitch, Casey turned and headed towards the bedroom once again.

Derek's voice stopped her.

"Wh-what? Wait just a second." Everyone stopped and looked towards him expectantly. Casey was the last to turn back to face him but only because she paused to grumble to herself at her failed attempt at a clean getaway. However, she was careful to keep her face serene when she finally faced him.

"Yes?" she asked innocently. She hadn't meant to lower her gaze to the pile of stuff he was still carrying. She certainly hadn't meant for her lips to quirk slightly at the attempt to hold in a giggle. She couldn't help it, he looked silly just standing there sputtering while carrying all those things. Derek noticed the quirk in her lips and followed her gaze down to his belonging piled in his arms. He tossed them onto the now empty sofa before answering her.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Her brow immediately crunched up as she tried hard to remember if she had left anything out. He was of course referring to the fact that they (he and Casey) hadn't slept apart since moving in together at the start of last summer, nearly a year ago. She had other things in mind.

"Oh, maybe I did. Let me check." She whipped out a note-card from her back pocket and began checking things off. "'Tell family and friends I need space,' check. 'Hand Derek sleeping clothes, pillow and blanket,' check. Oh you're right, I did leave one out. It was supposed to go right after I give you the blanket and PJs and right before I 'Give everyone a hug goodbye.'"

Everyone waited for her to carry out the forgotten task. Derek was now completely thrown for a loop and did nothing to stop her as she pulled out another note-card from her back pocket and approached him. She stopped just a few feet away from him and began to read the note-card.

"Derek, while I am sure the romantic entanglement between you and my amnesia-laden alter ego was a beautiful union of both your hearts, minds and souls, I am also positive that such a –"

"What the hell is this?" Derek demanded, snatching the note-card out of her hands, effectively cutting off whatever else dribble would have come from her mouth.

"Der-ek! Give it back, I'm not finished," she yelled at him as she reached out grab the note-card back but he managed to keep it up just out of her reach.

"You'll have to do better than that Casey," he teased, the familiar smirk back on his face.

She let out a frustrated groan as she regained her composure. "Fine, you wanna play like that? I'll just do it from memory then. The short and sweet version."

"And what pray tell is that?" Derek asked, humoring her.

"Derek, I'm breaking up with you." And with that, she all but ran straight back to the bedroom, shutting the door and locking it behind her before anyone, and especially Derek, could stop her.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

In the living room, Derek was still in shock.

"What the – …what the hell just happened?" Derek asked, more to himself than anyone else.

No one responded. They were either in shock themselves or else kept quiet out of fear for their own health and safety. And again Marti took it upon herself to break up the tension filled atmosphere.

"See? I told ya Smerek, that's the Casey that hates you."

And for the first time in his life, Derek turned his glare on an unassuming Marti.