Presenting … Lucas Danes? Chapter 33: Penthouse Apartment in the Sky, a gilmore girls fanfic

Presenting … Lucas Danes?

By GilmoreGirl1979 (the Reigning Quote Queen)

Provider of Quality FAN FICTION

R/R: yes please I love reviews; I wanna marry them (as previously stated, I have strange passions.)

friendly disclaimer: I REJECT ASP's/DR's REALITY AND SUBSTITUTE MY OWN! NO HARM NO SUE!

A/N: Dialogue borrowed from2.16 - There's the Rub
written by Sheila R. Lawrence
directed by Amy Sherman-Palladino

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Chapter 33:
Penthouse Apartment in the Sky

A few days after apartment searching with Luke, Lorelai heard a knock at the front door, disrupting her Queer Eye marathon. As she opened the door she saw Luke standing there meeting her wide grin with a shy smile, which was an improvement from 48 hours before when he was yelling at her that it was her fault that he bought the entire neighboring building. Even more surprising was the kiss that followed that shy smile. Luke just came into the house and took Lorelai in his arms, there was no time to react, he just kissed her and she was happy to stand there with weak-knees at the affection. Lorelai tried to speak, however only gibberish mumbled against his passionate lips as she used her hand slam the door closed.

The sharp sound made Luke finally pull away, and after catching her breath, Lorelai observed, "That was an enthusiastic hello."

"I want to show you something."

Lorelai pressed her forehead against his, "Dirty!If it's anything like this last thing, I'm all in mister." Lorelai made to kiss him again, but Luke already had taken her hand and started to lead her into her kitchen.

As Lorelai went to sit at the table she realized Luke had been carrying a tube of some sort. He pulled out a roll of paper and he spread them out on her kitchen table weighing them down with her salt & pepper shakers and her napkin holder. "What am I looking at?" she asked.

"Blue prints," Luke smiled.

"If they are blue-prints, why are they white?"

"These are for my building and this is the current lay out of the second floor."

"Current?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Now that I own the building next door, I'm remodeling." Lorelai only smiled as he explained, "You see my neighbor Mrs. Slutsky…"

Lorelai snickered, "Mrs. Slutsky?"

"Are you going to repeat everything I say?"

Lorelai couldn't help but laugh, "No, it's just that name… Mrs. Slutsky…"

"That's her name, she can't help it."

"Well, she married into it, so she had a choice in the matter. It's just you know, a funny name." Seeing she was diminishing his enthusiasm, Lorelai got back on track, "So your neighbor…?"

"She's moving down to live with her sister in Florida and won't need her apartment anymore."

"Okay?"

"So," Luke pulled out a thin sheet of white paper that had red markings and placed it over the blue prints. "You see here, this wall is going to come down and we are going to make this second floor one huge apartment. I'm getting twice the space."

"What?" she leaned in for a closer look.

"Look here, see this is the living room now and here is my kitchen, but we're getting all this space over here for Jess' room and his stuff. We're keeping the second bathroom, because someone pointed out that's important. I was thinking about some storage space, like a closet or something…"

"Wait, room?" Lorelai couldn't help but repeat, then she saw the red marks around the vicinity where she knew Luke's bed currently was, "What's this?" she pointed.

"Oh well, that's my room."

"Your room?" Lorelai said with a raised eyebrow, "and these red lines?"

"My walls."

"Walls even."

"Four solid walls."

"Well aren't we moving on up to the east side," she smiled.

Luke actually seemed excited and happy, "I mean it's still a change, but you know, it's still my dad's place, where he worked. Now though Jess and I won't kill each other, so you'll still have a boyfriend. By owning the building that Taylor wanted, I'm sticking it to him, which is always a plus, and I still get to avoid the hassle of moving. And you know what, it's all thanks to you."

"Little 'old me?" Lorelai said innocently.

"Lorelai, thank you," Luke took both of her hands in his and kissed them.

"Well, you're welcome," she had to laugh at how she inspired the impulse buy.

Time seemed to freeze again, for both of them. Luke was reflecting on Jess' suggestion to propose and just get it over with. The way Luke was holding her hands caused Lorelai to think of standing beneath the chuppah with Luke and a minister of some sort, maybe they will have their wedding at the Inn like Sookie's.

Looking in to her eyes, Luke was over whelmed with the marriage suggestions of the last few days, and he knew that Lorelai was it for him, "Lorelai, I…"

Lorelai's breath caught in her throat, he was going to say it, really say it.

"Mom! I'm home," Rory announced glumly.

Grumble, grumble, grumble! I got to start locking that door! "Kitchen!" Lorelai shouted, irritated by the interruption, even if it was her beloved daughter.

Rory was irritated herself from a day with Paris at School, "New table cloth?"

"Umm blue prints," said Luke, attempting to get his thoughts together since his moment alone with Lorelai was interrupted.

"If they're blue-prints, why are they white?"

"That's what I said," Lorelai giggled, smiling at Luke.

"Why are there blue-prints on the table?"

"I'm remodeling," said Luke. "I bought the attached building next door so I can expand the apartment."

"Cool! Now you won't have to move."

"How did you know he was thinking of moving?" Lorelai asked.

"Jess told me."

"Right Jess," Lorelai said, attempting to keep her voice from relaying her suspicions of Jess. It was then Lorelai noticed Jess' name came up more nowadays than Dean's, causing the suspicions to heighten a little more.

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Wednesday

The entire town was surprised by the news that Luke had bought the entire building next to the diner, much to the chagrin of Taylor Doose. Despite being notoriously opposed to change, renovations had begun on the diner almost immediately. Luke did have some concerns that Taylor would try to block the construction permits, but he still had some old friends of his father's willing to help the son of William Danes with his project.

For the moment, only Luke's apartment was under construction as expanding the diner was too much for the mournful son to consider at the moment. Luke had been promised by Tom that he could still keep the diner open while the remodeling was going on upstairs. There would only be minimal disruptions, which was the deal. However, when Luke tried to deliver food to some of his customers, chunks of the ceiling would often fall onto their tables.

"Jeez, uh, sorry folks. Uh, here free coffee all around. You might want to put your hand over that." Luke stormed over to the leader of the construction team who was leisurely drinking coffee at the counter, "Tom, what the hell is going on up there?"

"We're redoing your apartment. What do you think is going on up there?"

"The ceiling is falling in. I've got customers eating drywall here."

"Oh, well, that can't be good."

"You said minimal disruptions."

"Hey, this is minimal disruptions; it's not my fault you insist on keeping the place open while we fix your apartment."

"You said…" Luke swallowed the insult. "Fine, one more week, that's it."

"Oh, sure, construction ultimatum. Ha, that's even funnier than my moving pipe joke from yesterday."

Lorelai and Rory walked in just as Luke was about to turn into ranting Luke. "Hey baby," Lorelai said as she walked over to give him a good morning kiss. Lorelai liked that she could be truly affectionate with Luke in public, however the ceilings dry wall had different ideas. The descending plaster kept them from their usual hello kiss, startling both Lorelai and Rory.

"Hey," Luke sighed that he just spent a hundred thousand dollars on a building that was falling in around him.

"Jeez, look at this place," Lorelai had seen how tired and worn out her fella was. It was bad enough that wedding planning with Sookie was keeping them apart, but since renovations began last week, Luke's sole focus was getting the apartment finished as quickly as possible. Lorelai put her purse down to claim a table, "How much long-"

Luke grabbed Lorelai's arm before she was committed to the seat, "Nope – can't sit there."

"Why not?"

"Three people got nailed in the head there earlier."

"But their food was okay, right?"

"Will please you just move?" he said kindly, full of concern for her safety. However as soon as he began to steer the girls to a different table, Lorelai's cell began to ring and he was shooing her out and pointed to the door, "Outside."

"You know, if I sit here one more second, I just might be outside."

"Fine, we'll wait till that happens. My apartment is changing not the rule so outside!"

"There better be some coffee when I return."

Lorelai walked outside as Jess came up to Rory and offered her an open umbrella.

"Oh, you are really funny," Luke rolled his eyes. "You and Tom should put an act together." However, he advised Rory as Jess walked to the kitchen, "I'd leave it open."

Outside Lorelai began a conversation with her mother, "Sorry, go ahead Mom, I can hear you now."

"I wanted to know if you'd like a gift certificate for a weekend at the Birch Grove Spa."

All of Lorelai's defenses shut down over the mention of gift certificate and spa. "Are you serious?" Lorelai almost squealed.

"I bid on it at the DAR Symphony Fundraiser and I won," Emily informed proudly.

"Birch Grove? That's supposed to be an amazing place, why don't you go?"

"Oh, I've never had any real desire to go to a spa," Emily dismissed.

"Why'd you bid on it then?" Lorelai asked naturally curious.

"It was for charity, I had to bid on something. I certainly didn't want another portrait of George Washington. I've got four in the attic already."

"Well, I'd love it."

"Good."

"Wow, two days of total mind-numbing pampering. Massages, facials, aromatherapy."

"My goodness, you make it sound like heaven."

"It's as close as you'll ever come to being a dog," Lorelai said flatly.

"I beg your pardon?" Emily said taken aback.

"You know, a whole life of nothing but eating, sleeping, lying on your back and getting rubbed.

"I'd love the comparison to stop there."

"Deal. Um, hey, when's it for?"

"This weekend, actually, the certificate is for two," Emily said slowly as though wheels were turning in her head.

"Oh, well, I'll be there," Lorelai assured. Then something struck Lorelai, the certificate is for two, the certificate is for two, Lorelai could just see Emily's eyebrow raise up and a sixth sense told Lorelai to keep talking and lie to her own mother, "I know, Rory and I will love it."

Emily sounded like she was disarmed, "What?"

"Excuse me?" Lorelai said innocently.

"Oh, you would use it for Rory and yourself," she said, the tone of a missed opportunity was wedged in Emily's voice.

"Well, sure, who else would I bring?" Lorelai tried not to sound callous toward her mother. "I mean Sookie has to work this weekend, you just said spas aren't your thing, and with all of the pressure Rory is under at school, I'm sure this is just the thing she could use to unwind a bit. How perfect that it is a thoughtful gesture from her grandmother, so thanks Mom. Oh, well, I guess since we have to use them, I guess this means no Friday night dinner this week, huh?" SCORE!

"I suppose so. Well, I hope the two of you enjoy it," Emily sounded disappointed.

"I'm sure we will, oh, how are we going to get the certificates?"

"Well, I suppose I could have them couriered over to you at the inn."

"Perfect. Well, we will think of you the whole time. Thanks again, bye," Lorelai finished quickly and hung up her cell phone. She only felt guilty for only a moment, but she bit her lip in anticipation of asking who she really had in mind, while hoping Rory wouldn't be too upset to stay home.

Lorelai went inside to rejoin her daughter at their now umbrella covered table. Lorelai sighed proudly, "I think I just dodged a bullet with my mother."

"Mmm hmm, lean forward," Rory advised her mother, and by doing so, Lorelai avoided getting dry wall in her hair, as it was covered by the umbrella.

Luke saw the near miss and barked again, "Tom!"

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Lorelai was walking Rory to her bus stop before heading to work herself, relaying the whole of the phone conversation with Grandma, even the subtext, therefore, Rory's reaction was justified. "You are twelve and disgusting."

"No, I was almost trapped and desperate," Lorelai scoffed.

"You don't know that," Rory shot back as she shook her head, unable to believe the depths Lorelai would stoop to avoid seeing her mother.

Lorelai defended her logical lie, "Rory, it had all the ear marks for a trap ready to spring, no doubt for some vindictive reason of my mother's. She was probably at the hair dresser's the other day, sitting in curlers, under that blow dryer helmet thing and just thinking to herself, 'Gee, I've been really too easy on Lorelai lately. What could I do to make her life a living hell?' So excuse me for being oh so smart enough to see the signs and avoid it."

"Would a weekend with grandma really be so bad?" she asked. When Rory saw the look on her mother's face she knew that was answer enough, "Okay, So let me get this straight, you lied to grandma about taking me to the spa?"

"Yes."

"And you are not really taking me?"

"No."

"Because you didn't think I would enjoy the spa?" Rory teased.

Lorelai stopped them in their path, "Rory please, please, please, please let me take Luke. Since our little coming out at the basket auction all eyes have been on us, I mean this is like a real relationship thing, a real weekend away… not to the town's local Inn that I happen to run."

"It's a spa," Rory repeated.

"So, it's free," Lorelai shrugged.

"Well, when I think of Luke, I don't exactly think…spa guy."

"I'm not thinking of spa guy, I'm thinking of my sexy boyfriend that I want to be alone with."

"Dirty."

"Exactly and they'll have mud baths at this place and everything."

"Eww, Mom!" Rory was now trying to purge the image of Luke and Lorelai rolling around in mud.

"Rory, please. While Luke and I love you and love Jess, you as our dependents make it difficult to get it on."

"So glad we are not being gross anymore," Rory said dryly.

"Who knows how long till his place is ready and now that the town knows about us, we can do things like this; go out of town together, and Jess has been proving himself more responsible lately," Lorelai had to admit, even though she still suspected foul play with the bracelet incident, "…and well you were that way in the womb… so I think the timing is perfect, and this opportunity just fell in my lap…"

"And the fact that Grandma is footing the bill for your little love nest weekend with Luke doesn't add to the appeal at all."

"Of course it does!"

"That was an evil yes!"

"HEY! I got both of us out of Friday Night Dinner! Can't you marvel in the brilliance that is your mother just for a little while?"

"I'm just glad you aren't focusing your criminal genius on world domination!"

"A weekend with my boyfriend is all I really need, I'll worry about the world next weekend," Lorelai said. "I mean two days of relaxation! Luke really deserves it with all that is happening with the diner, and me, well I love Sookie, but one more midnight call about lace and I'm gonna…"

"Maybe you'll be so relaxed you'll find the guts to say it," Rory teased as she saw her bus round the corner.

"Say what?"

"You know …it?" Rory emphasized as she got on the bus and waved through the window to her mother when she took her seat.

Lorelai considered what Rory said. With a romantic, secluded, away from Stars Hollow setting, maybe one of them would say "it" this weekend.

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"Are you crazy?" Luke exclaimed.

"We've been dating how long and you still don't know the answer to that question?"

Luke was obviously in a bad mood due to the construction and Tom, so Lorelai could have picked a better time to tell him about the spa. Unfortunately, Lorelai had a time constraint, as the certificates were only good for that weekend, meaning tomorrow through Sunday. Therefore, Lorelai had brought Luke out in the square to get him away from nosey customers, construction noise, and hazards falling from the ceiling in an effort to coerce him into coming to the spa with her. "Luke, come on, please."

"Lorelai! Look at my diner," Luke pointed passionately. "Just look at it! It's being gutted right before my eyes, my dad's old place, do you have any idea how hard it is for me to see it like this… and you want me to skip town?"

"Well, then don't see it like this, come away with me. You could use the break. I mean if you stay here you might kill Tom, which would get in the way of Tom finishing the job and the jail time would get in the way of us."

"Lorelai, I have a business to run."

"So, rather than customers getting drywall garnish in their soup, shut down for a few days."

"What?"

"Shut down. Close the diner, for once in your life. Take some time off for yourself... and for me. Luke, it was so hard for us to be together before the town knew, and now they know and it's still hard for us to be together. I can't remember the last time we were on a date."

"It was weeks ago, before your father came to town." Luke informed.

"See, far too long," Lorelai said sweetly, "The other weekend at the Inn was so great, but I still had to work, and this can be an away all about us weekend. Please, Luke. I really want to take you."

"Jeez, just take Rory…" Luke was about to walk away, considering the conversation over.

"Luke, her schedule is booked. I want to take you. I never get to see you or be with you since you started this project."

"And you're not busy? What with Sookie's wedding plans and with business school?

"Luke, I'm studying for finals. Which means that business school is coming to a close, so in a few weeks I'll be graduating and…"

"But what about Sookie and the wedding, can you really just leave her? Leave the Inn?" he shot back.

"She will make due for a few days. Okay, I need a break too, you need a break, let's take a break together. Who knows, Luke, with the diner closed, maybe Tom and company can finish it faster."

Luke sighed and looked to the ground, with his hands on his hips, a sure fire sign that his resistance was starting to wane.

Lorelai continued to entice, "And come on, three days? Who knows how many times we can have sex?"

"Aw Jeez, the town is gonna think that we are…that we are…"

"Well, generally that was what I had planned and usually what people do with weekends away. Luke, who cares what the town thinks… Please, it's perfect."

"Lorelai," Luke spat.

"It's an all expense paid weekend, of relaxing and forgetting all of our stress."

"Jess," was all Luke said.

"Jess?" she asked, trying to follow.

"I can't leave Jess with the diner half gutted while I'm off with my girlfriend."

"Oh well," Lorelai was straining to think fast, her perfect weekend away was slipping out of reach as if Emily cast a hex on the gift certificates to prevent it from happening. "Hey, the Inn."

"What?"

Lorelai then knew the lengths she was willing to go to get Luke to go on this trip with her, "Well, we can put Jess up at the Inn. No charge," and maybe the distance would keep Jess far, far away from Rory while they were gone and Lorelai could truly enjoy her pampering.

"Lorelai, you can't do that."

"Sure I can, I did it at Christmas,"

"That was a Christmas event that was already paid for and canceled."

"I did it at New Years, you arranged it for Valentine's Day…"

"Which I paid for…"

"And again a few weeks ago," Lorelai didn't really want to mention Chris's name, "…Luke please, I really, really want to go on this trip with you, and only you; please, just ask Jess if he's willing to help. You boast how he's so helpful and good now," Lorelai realized that comment was little pointed toward the nephew, but Luke didn't seem to notice.

"Fine, no promises."

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"I can't believe you got Luke to agree," Rory said in astonishment.

"You are talking to the woman who got him to bid on my basket," Lorelai said gleefully.

Rory pointed her thumb to herself, "Hey, I'm the woman who got him to bid on your basket!"

"But, I was the prize!"

"Man I lost the bet," Rory complained over her pizza.

"What bet?"

Rory realized she said it aloud, "Oh, nothing…"

"What bet?" Lorelai said slowly again.

"Well, I bet Jess that Luke wouldn't go."

Lorelai had to laugh knowing herself that Jess had been the deciding factor, "Oh really?" a hint of suspicion in her voice.

"Yeah, I told him I didn't think Luke was the spa kind of guy and Jess was willing to take the bet. I thought I was sure to win."

Lorelai didn't know if she should tell Rory Jess' part in the whole agreement to get Luke out of town. Jess had agreed to stay at the Inn, so technically Jess manipulated the situation to win the bet with Rory. Lorelai hated to think of what the terms were, before she could as Rory changed the subject.

"So you got the gift certificates alright."

"Yes, although I did have to pry the envelope out of Michel's hand once I told him what was in it."

"So you are going to pack tonight?"

"Yup." Lorelai tried to sound enthusiastic, "God this is going to be so fantastic! Luke, a spa, all expenses paid. My little girl home alone with a house all to herself, free to throw a party, and invite hundreds of bikers and lowlifes who are going to trash the place…" she joked, but wondered if Jess would talk her into such an idea.

"I am going to do homework, laundry, watch TV, order Indian food and go to bed early."

"And then come the bikers and lowlifes who are going to trash the place?"

"I may even fall asleep on the couch with the TV on."

"When do the bikers and lowlifes get to trash the place?"

"Mom!"

"I swear some times I wonder if I got the wrong baby from the hospital"

"Always a possibility," Rory nodded.

"Aw well, why raise a fuss now, Que Sera Sera. But seriously Rory, you have to do something bad when Mommy's out of town. It's the law. You're seen Risky Business, right?Now I'm not asking for a prostitution ring, but how about a floating craps game or something?"

"I'll see what I can do."

"I would greatly appreciate it."

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Friday

Lorelai was amazed that she was packed and ready to go the night before, something that has never happened before. Lorelai stood staring in awe at her closed suit case, she knew everything she wanted to wear; that is everything she wanted Luke to strip off of her and would wind up on the floor. Lorelai could only assume it was because Luke was her perfect man and she knew exactly what she wanted to do this weekend.

She had taken care of their spa agenda for all their treatments and tried to make them simple more palatable for Luke to try. Lorelai had to admit that Rory was right; Luke wasn't exactly a spa man. Lorelai knew he was dreading the trip, so she decided to let him drive the jeep and wouldn't give him grief about not wanting to stop and get coffee.

"So, are we all ready to go?" Lorelai asked, about to jump into the passenger seat.

"Why are you bringing two thermoses of coffee, it is only an hour drive?"

"This way I won't bother you to stop for coffee on the way, Bye sweets."

"Bye. Bye Luke."

"Are you sure you don't want to go Rory?" asked Luke, one final time, slowly getting in the Jeep in hopes that Rory will change her mind and want to go.

"Nope, have a good time." Rory hugged her mom and whispered, "By the way Mom, remember whatever you and Luke do on your trip I so don't want to know about it."

"Right, remember Bikers and lowlifes," she kissed her daughter's cheek

"Biker's and lowlifes," Rory repeated, as if her mother had said buy more milk.

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Luke and Lorelai entered the Birch Grove Spa's Lobby and Lorelai exclaimed over the relaxed nature of it, "Oh, look at this place." Lorelai knew she was about to die and go to heaven or at least be well rested for her trip to hell. I did lie to my mother to get here. "There's a smell – what is that? It's all fresh and earthy…"

"Eucalyptus?" Luke did not look too happy to be there. He scanned the lobby with a deer in headlights expressions. Clearly, this place wasn't what he expected when Lorelai was begging him for a weekend away. "I think I'm going to get the bags…"

"No need, they have people here who do that. Hey look, they have cucumber slices in the water. What next? Ranch dressing in the soap dispensers?" she giggled.

"Lorelai…" Luke looked very serious.

She didn't seem to hear him, or at least she pretended she didn't. "You wait right here, I'll check us in," Lorelai said as she left Luke by the tranquil fountain hoping it would sooth him into enjoying himself.

Lorelai approached the front desk, "Hello, I'm Lorelai Gilmore. I have a reservation for two."

The gentleman at the desk typed into his computer, "Ah, yes, welcome to Birch Grove. My name is Bobby. I have everything all set for you. Do you have luggage?"

"Yes, it's in the jeep out front."

"Alright, well, we can take care of that for you." Bobby signaled to one of his associates to go out to the car, "Here are your room keys and a copy of all of your spa activities. You ladies are booked solid, I see."

Two keys? As in two rooms? "Ladies?" Lorelai raised an eyebrow.

"There is a note in my system that says you are here with your daughter," Bobby said courteously.

"How did you…? Emily," Lorelai said bitterly. "Is there a note in there about Emily Gilmore?"

Bobby checked, "Umm yes, she arranged all your spa treatments."

"But I called before and set everything up…"

"Well, it seems she called in this morning and requested some different ones," he said, indicating the itinerary after adjusting his screen so Lorelai could see.

Lorelai scanned through it, "So my mother disregarded the services I wanted, forcing me to do what she thinks I wanted, and therefore, basically knows our schedule."

"Basically," Bobby asked. "Is that a problem?"

"Yeah, Bobby, a little bit." Lorelai turned her head to point out Luke, "You see that handsome guy over there."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I'm not really here with my daughter, I'm here with him. My mother doesn't like him very much and just wouldn't understand why I would want to bring him here. He's sort of high strung and is under a lot of stress and pressure with his business. I mean, frankly, he's not really a spa guy, so you all are going to have to really win him over. But you see I'm going to be doing certain "special" treatments to relax him ones that you don't offer, and if you do, well mums the word from me, but you see, I'd rather my mother not know about it, if you catch my drift."

"Oh yeah," Bobby grinned as he blushed at the innuendo.

"Great, so if you could just tell Emily Gilmore whenever she calls, that my daughter and I are in the middle of a treatment, and can't be disturbed because that would defeat the purpose of relaxing here, I would greatly appreciate it."

"Yes ma'm."

"Great, and please tell all shifts about this as well, not to be disturbed, no phone calls, nothing at all. We're just on a spa conveyor belt, constantly going in and out of treatments." Lorelai knew if Rory had any problems she would simply call Lorelai's cell phone.

Then, Bobby seemed to notice a note in the system and frowned slightly, causing Lorelai to ask, "Something wrong?"

"Oh no, it's just I see that your stay is with gift certificates? Do you have those?"

Lorelai happily handed over the certificates and got an idea. "Hey, Bobby," she started bargaining again. "Obviously, for those special one on one treatments that you don't offer we are only going to need one room with one bed, so can we add more spa stuff to our stay since we are bunking together?"

"I don't see why not? We can upgrade your itinerary now."

"Excellent." She wore a wicked grin as she looked towards Luke, "King sized bed, please."

After a few tip taps on the keyboard, Bobby had cleared everything up, and earned himself a nice tip from Lorelai after handing over her new spa package and itinerary. "Your room is right down this hall. Fruit and yogurt are served by the pool in the mornings and your lunch and dinner seats are on that itinerary."

"Any chance we could get room service? New people make my guy antsy."

"Certainly, just mark times you would like the meal to be delivered here and here," he said, pointing to the menu. "Any other questions?"

"Yes, where can one get a cup of coffee around here?"

"Oh, well, we don't serve anything with caffeine here," Bobby said, sad to disappoint his guest.

Lorelai was in shock for a moment, "And you think that's safe?"

"Sorry spa policy, but I hope you and your husband enjoy your stay."

"Umm we will. Thank you, Bobby," Lorelai blushed as she turned back to meet Luke, who was once again mistaken as her husband. It was just like during the ball. The tailor thought they were only engaged, at the ball they were represented as being married where Luke was Rory's stepfather; and here they were, months later, and they still gave off that "forsaking all other's" vibe. Maybe this is our second honeymoon.

Lorelai bit her lip as she approached Luke; nervous because of the scowl he wore. "Hey, so you ready?"

"Lorelai…This is a SPA!" he exclaimed.

"See, just look at how tense you are…"

"I'm tense because there are women who look like the 'Where's the Beef' ladies, running around in bathrobes and nothing else!"

"Luke, first, I am impressed you know the commercial and second, tone it down, there are people trying to relax."

"Lorelai, you knew this was a spa! There won't be anything for me to do here…"

Lorelai swallowed her dirty smile to inform Luke, "Actually I've already signed you up for a few treatments."

"Treatments?" he spat.

"Luke, come on…"

"Treatments?" he repeated with a scowl.

"Here, look they are all manly."

"A scalp treatment?" he said, disbelieving, taking that as a dig on his receding hairline. "A massage?"

"See I thought you'd like that because it's with me," she pointed to their scheduled couples massage.

"Lorelai, I am not getting a facial!"

"Luke, you never do anything for yourself."

"Lorelai this isn't my thing. I would rather go sleep in the jeep."

"If you sleep in the jeep you won't get to sleep with me," Luke rolled his eyes about to go outside, willing to take the chance. "Luke… please." She stopped him and pouted, "Please baby," She kissed him, knowing she was close to getting him to cave, "Please, please, please it's only for two days."

"Lorelai, jeez we are in the lobby, people are staring."

"We could be in our room doing what I've wanted to do for the last hour of our drive," she said softly, as she flicked his ear with her tongue. "Hey; did you know that licking a stamp burns 10 calories? Imagine how many we could burn… alone, in our room."

Luke couldn't stand the teasing anymore and he had to kiss her full on the mouth, in front of the bathrobe clad spa clients.

Lorelai seemed pleased with the results of her enticements, "Just relax and drink the nice cucumber water," she teased. "If it makes you feel better, there's no coffee in the place."

Luke scowled at her again, "Only a little."

"Then let's go to our room and make you feel a lot better."

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A/N: I know my pets, the show sucks now… I told you…

It's gonna get worse before it gets better.

Join the resistance, read fan fiction instead.

A/N:

How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Dont think its too late

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Well i hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

Solo

How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

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Watch at your own risk, you will always be welcome here, the comfort zone.

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"That was all God given talent..." why thank you NON POD Luke!
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R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."
Please be specific with R/R; name one (or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) At least one specific thing you liked

Please! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)

Hence the Rant option below.

Insert Rant here V
A/N: if not completely satisfied with this chapter, please return unused portion for a full refund...