A/N: Okay, this one was really hard for me to write because for some reason, I kept procrastinating it. I don't know why, but I just couldn't get myself to work on this chapter! Because of this, it isn't as good as I could have made it, but I still think that I did all right. But, of course, your opinion matters, not mine; leave me a review at the end and let me know!

James

November 5th

Dear Diary,

This morning was absolutely hilarious and nearly flawless! Of course, Lily ruined it a little bit by opposing to what we were doing, but I still got away with it, which is always a cause for celebration. Allow me to explain what happened.

When I woke up the day after the Halloween dance, I had been feeling awful about the Lily/Chris situation. I had wanted to stay in bed and just cry all day; the girl I had been in love with forever and ever was starting to fall for my worst enemy. I have never felt like that before. I have cried about three times in my life, and even those times, it was only a couple of insignificant tears down my cheek. Therefore, I was startled to know that I of all people wanted to lie in bed and bawl my eyes out over a girl. Granted, she was more than just any girl, but it was still inexcusable on my part. I couldn't feel that way. I was James Potter. I didn't cry. Not over anyone or anything. I'd have to find a distraction.

So, today, I decided that I would pick myself up out of my depression. I had no business being depressed. I had a great life, and one girl would not spoil it all for me – even if that one girl was Lily Evans. I knew that the only thing that would cheer me up was torturing someone, and I figured, who better to torture than Snivelly? Sirius and Peter were, as always, ready for any plan that involved harming Snivellus, so we set up this picture Peter had unearthed recently of Snape sneezing in the Entrance Hall. I had only wanted to embarrass him, but Sirius suggested that we throw things at the picture to make it "pretty." Peter was already running off to get supplies before I could even answer, so I just shrugged and agreed. I was a bit fearful of what Lily would say if she saw me, actually, so I opted to clean up the extra scraps of goop that fell off the picture. It worked well, and slowly, I got more and more into the plan; I was beginning to enjoy myself, and I was feeling much better already.

"This is such fun," Sirius told us all, beaming as he managed to get some gunk right on Snivelly's nose. "He could be a supermodel with this picture."

"Keep him out of the swimsuits though," I said. "People might die."

"Snivelly, in a swim suit." Peter shuddered. "I wouldn't be able to stand the X-rated horror."

Sirius laughed as he threw a wet sponge at Snivelly's hair. "If only I could do that to the real Snivellus. His mummy would thank me; she'd actually be able to keep him in the house without passing out from the rank."

"Really, you three," Remus said reproachfully. "Don't be so rude. I really think that you should stop this."

"Why?" Sirius inquired. "We're only helping him." He threw another sponge at the photo.

"Well, noble as your intentions are, I must request that you stop 'helping,'" Remus said.

"Relax, Moony," Peter said lazily, tossing a sponge of his own. "It's all in good fun."

"Somehow, I don't think so," said Remus.

"Ugh, is that Evans?" Sirius groaned. "Shit; she's going to suck the fun out of this, I know it. Damn prefect powers."

"Evans?" For some reason or another, Remus was quite nervous all of a sudden and mysteriously vanished from the hall. Sirius and Peter were just as surprised as I was, but it was Peter who asked, "Why did he go?"

"I don't know," Sirius said, baffled. "I just said that Evans was coming."

Evans did indeed come, and like I had anticipated, she was not at all happy to see the mess we had made. She did the usual – yelling at us, threatening us with detention, and getting pouty – but I was feeling particularly audacious; I talked back in a way I normally wouldn't have, and that offended her even more. Sirius and Peter were more than willing to back me up on the matter, which did help, but I couldn't get over the cooled, disappointed look behind Lily's eyes. I hated making her upset, but at the same time, she broke my heart every single day without so much as looking back; couldn't I be a little rebellious? I owed myself that much, didn't I?

Lily wasn't the only one who visited our fun though; Snivelly himself decided to come and join the party, and tried to insult us. It didn't work, of course, because we three are the most sarcastic boys in our year, and Lily wouldn't allow either of us to be excessively nasty. That wasn't as important though; I can't even remember what we said, and I usually do a pretty good job with that.

Anyway, after we followed Evans's orders of cleaning up our Snivelly picture, Sirius, Peter, and I went back upstairs to the common room. Remus was already there, and he was reading his textbook, obviously trying to write an essay. I stared at his progress; why on earth was he doing his homework?!?!

"Moony, you need a life," Sirius said, echoing my thoughts. "Get your arse up off that couch, put that book away, and go and flirt with a girl. I dare you."

"I don't take your dare," Remus said, his ears turning bright red. "I don't like flirting with girls! I'm not like you, all right?"

"No, you're not," I agreed. "Why did you run away when we said that Evans was on her way over?"

"She would have made me try to stop you, and you know that I'm incapable of doing that," Remus told us. "She takes her job as prefect a little too seriously."

"I know," Peter said. "Here I was thinking you were bad about rules, Moony; Lily's even worse! She's so damn uptight!"

"I know!" Sirius said, slamming his hand on the table and making Remus jump. "She acts like she's some kind of dictator! Granted, she's a pretty sexy dictator…"

"Shut up," I said, swatting at Sirius's arm. "She's my sexy dictator."

"I never said she wasn't," Sirius defended himself. "I just said that she was sexy."

"When you say something like that, Sirius, we all know that she's in danger of getting shagged in the near future," I pointed out.

Sirius grinned. "True, true; very true."

"Who did you do the other night?" Peter asked. "I thought I heard a girl in your bed when I went down for my midnight snack."

Sirius thought for a moment, and then laughed in his usual dog-like fashion. "Oh, that. Ha, it was Lindsay Bernard. She's a fantastic kisser."

"Didn't she swear to be a virgin until she was married though?" I inquired.

Sirius flashed me a grin, but didn't say any more on the subject. Peter giggled, but Remus just rolled his eyes and looked back at his book. Sirius noticed this, and said, "Oh come on, Remus; get out of that damn book and have some fun. You and Lily are so uptight; you'd make a good couple that way." He caught my murderous expression, and amended, "I mean, if James wasn't destined to have her."

Remus rolled his eyes, but his cheeks turned a warm pink before he said, "Thank you?"

"No, seriously!" Sirius insisted. "You're way too uptight; both of you are. When she next tries to stop us from having fun, I dare you to tell her that."

Remus did not answer, because at that very moment, Frank Longbottom ran into the common room. "Hey, Potter! Show us your butterbeer drinking skills!" he called, waving a bottle of butterbeer at me.

"Why?" It was a rather random request; why was he asking me to display my legendary butterbeer talents? We all knew I had them on the day I drank five bottles in a minute and a half.

"Oh, because Chris Daniels reckons that you made your record up, and I told him that you could definitely drink a bottle of butterbeer in twenty one seconds," Frank explained.

My blood began to boil; it sounded exactly like something Chris would say. That was why I stood up and said, "Give me that bottle."

"Everyone, he's going to do it!" Frank shouted to the rest of the Gryffindors in the common room. "Potter is going to show us his butterbeer drinking skills again!"

As a crowd assembled around me, Sirius took out his official butterbeer timer, and we prepared for me to start chugging. I saw Chris in the crowd and I gave him a jerk of my head to show him that I had indeed set that record, and I would do it again in front of his very eyes. He gave me a look that dared me to do it, and I looked to Sirius, waiting impatiently for him to get ready. At last, Sirius nodded and said, "Go!"

I began to drink, enjoying the feel of the warm liquid against my throat, and when I was finished, I banged the bottle on the table triumphantly. Everyone looked to Sirius for his verdict.

"Twenty seconds!" he announced, and everyone began to applaud me. I smiled and bowed, but then I heard Chris call out in his most spiteful voice.

"Oh, that's pitiful; go for twelve seconds."

"Challenge accepted," I yelled, looking around for another bottle of butterbeer. However, before I could start again, I heard the very familiar voice of Lily Evans cut into the conversation.

"Challenge not accepted," she said firmly. "This challenge is off; return the bottles of butterbeer at once – all of you."

"Remus said it was okay," Sirius told her, pointing at Remus. He was still on the couch, looking as though he had had nothing to do with my butterbeer chugging. She marched over to him, presumably to ask him about the chugging dare. We saw him talking to her, with Lily's expression growing more and more flustered, until she simply stalked off to her own dormitory, evidently miffed.

I approached Moony, and asked him interestedly, "What did you say to piss her off so much?"

"I told her what you told me to tell her," Remus answered. "I told her not to be so uptight."

"Really?" I was astonished; Remus almost never listened to us, and I told him this.

He shrugged. "It was good advice; she's pretty tense lately during our prefect patrolling."

Peter shrugged as well. "I can imagine that happening. She works too much."

"She's dedicated," I marveled with a sigh. "I love that about her; her determination is just amazing. She's so passionate."

"Passionate about hating you too, if I remember correctly," Sirius added.

"Oh, but that'll change," I assured him. "Soon."

"How long is soon?" Peter asked.

I didn't have an answer because, quite frankly, with Lily, there wasn't one. Lily Evans played by her own rules, and often times, we had no idea what those rules were until we broke them. And when we broke them, of course, our lives were in considerable danger. That was how she operated, and the sheer rashness of it made me ache for her again; I liked a girl who knew how to stand up for herself and play the game her way. There really aren't enough of such women in the world.

Ugh, damn it; I think Peter wants me to help him was his underwear…again. That boy…sometimes I wonder why he even exists.

Lily

November 5th

Dear Diary,

After the disastrous events of Halloween, I thought that maybe I would forgive James a little bit, since he was so desperate for my attention. I mean, it was sort of flattering when a guy as popular as James Potter tries to fight for the attention of a plain, boring girl like me; I could cut him a break. I had the best of intentions this afternoon – truly, I did – but I know now that James is not at all worthy of them; Severus was the victim of James, Sirius, and Peter again today. I tried to stop them with Remus, since we were the prefects, but it didn't quite work out the way I planned.

Early this morning, James had set up a large photograph of Snape sneezing hideously during class at some point, and had taken the liberty of posting it on the Entrance Hall wall simply because he was bored, and to make things a little more interesting for him and his friends, the boys began happily throwing things at it. Sirius and Peter took turns throwing sponges, gunk, and trash from the kitchens all over the picture, and when the extra trimmings fell to the ground, James lazily flicked his wand to clear it up. They had begun to let students pay a Galleon and have a go and, predictably, their bucket of money had been growing rapidly. Otherwise, the students who were watching just guffawed at the effects and "entertainment" provided; I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Stop it James, Sirius, Peter," I called to them, bothered when I saw what they were up to. "Take it down before I report you and get you each a detention."

"Report me," Sirius taunted, grinning. "A detention or two is worth the fun I'm having."

"Amen," said Peter as he contentedly threw another sponge at Snape's picture. "You can give me three if you really want to, Lily."

I was about to open my mouth to tell them to please stop what they were doing, but at that moment, Snape himself walked in and glared at James with pure loathing as he took in the scene before him.

"You bastard; what are you doing?" Snape asked, fuming, as he rightfully should.

"Just beautifying you, Snivelly," Sirius answered for his friend, beaming. "NO need to thank us – it was our pleasure."

"That's quite enough, Black," I snapped sharply. "Pettigrew, Potter; help him clean this mess up before I get you a week of detention each."

"Yeah, you guys," Peter said in an overly loud, showy voice. "Let's clean this up because Lily Evans, the great and wonderful prefect, told us to."

"Most definitely," Sirius agreed, sniggering. "Would you like us to do our homework next?"

"Or would you like us to take notes in class instead?" James added, high-fiving Sirius.

"Be serious please," I said, frowning at them.

"I can't! He's Sirius!" Peter said, laughing hysterically at his own joke.

"What?" Sirius, James, and I asked at the same time.

"She said to be serious, but I can't, because he's Sirius!" Peter clarified, still giggling. "Get it?"

Sirius put his arm around Peter's shoulder, put on a mournful expression, and shook his head sadly. "That just ruined it," he said.

"Come on, you know that was hilarious," Peter protested. "Wasn't it, Snivellus?"

"No," Snape replied curtly, his cold, black eyes starting to glitter. "Like you, Pettigrew, it was irritating and disgraceful."

"Oooh, are you going to take that, Peter?" Sirius teased. "Are you going to let that booger insult you?"

"Do I smell a fight coming on?" James asked

"Your nose is out of order then, Potter, because I really will report this if all of the mess isn't gone in sixty seconds," I cut in. "Leave Severus alone – what has he ever done to you?"

"It was simple, really," James said conversationally. "Do keep up, Evans – I think we've been through this before."

"What are you talking about?" I inquired, my eyes narrowing.

"I'm talking about the main crime that Snivelly has committed," James explained as though this was very obvious. "He has chosen to exist, therefore making the world a worse place to live; haven't I established this already?"

"You absolutely disgust me, Potter," I said with revulsion. "You really do; now clean this up right now or else I'm going to fetch Professor McGonagall."

This time, Sirius said wistfully, "Are you sure we have to clean it up? Snivelly was just beginning to look pretty."

"Yes, you do," I confirmed. "Get to it."

After much complaining (and shouting on my part), James, Sirius, and Peter finally disposed of the Snape photo and put away the "art supplies" in their rightful places. I inspected the Entrance Hall quickly when they were done and nodded once for the boys to leave. The crowd of people went with them; things were only entertaining for them when James and Sirius were around. That left Severus alone with me; I turned to leave as well, but alas, he caught up to me.

"Thanks for getting them away from me," he said. "James is such an arsehole."

"Definitely," I agreed grimly before I could stop myself. Then I realized my mistake – which was allowing conversation with Snape – and I was condemned to listen to his monologue all the way to the seventh floor, though I didn't really listen to it.

"Well, I'll talk to you later, Lily," Snape said when we, at long last, reached the Gryffindor portrait hole. "Bye."

"Bye," I repeated darkly, disgruntled, as I went inside. When I came in, I was horrified to see James was chugging a bottle of butterbeer in the middle of a large crowd, who were all cheering for him! I watched in shock as he slammed the empty bottle triumphantly on the table. Sirius checked his watch and shouted, "Twenty seconds!"

"Oh, that's pitiful," someone called. "Have another go, Potter – try for twelve seconds!"

James pretended to deliberate on this for a moment, but then yelled, "Challenge accepted!"

"Challenge not accepted," I interrupted. "This challenge is off; return the bottles of butterbeer at once – all of you."

"Remus said it was okay," Sirius said innocently, gesturing to his friend. Remus was sitting on the couch nearby, hiding behind a textbook. I sighed and went up to him.

"Why didn't you stop them?" I demanded.

"They aren't really doing anything outside of their limits," he mumbled, his forehead a healthy red; he was determinedly avoiding my eyes.

I put my hand on my hips and said, "Come on, Remus; back me up on this – we are prefects, and it's up to us to enforce the rules."

"Lily, please," he said tiredly. "Don't force me into this."

"Take some charge!" I insisted. "Help me stop them – you're the only one that they'll listen to."

Remus got up and looked me straight in the eye for, I realized, the very first time; he always talked to the floor, and occasionally at his feet – I had never really seen his eyes. They were a gray-brown; I discovered that I rather liked them.

"Lil, let it go," he said sternly, his lovely eyes resolute. "Rules aren't everything – don't be so uptight."

"I'm not being uptight," I opposed, offended by this accusation. "I'm just…saving him from-from the evils of butterbeer. It can do atrocious things to a pancreas, you know."

"It is nice to hear that you care so deeply about James's digestive system, but I really think you should calm down," Remus said, going back to his book. "Relax."

I honestly had nothing to say back, so I stomped right out of the room to my dormitory. I heard later that James did get down to twelve seconds, but I was confused about Remus, mostly. Why hadn't he helped me? He'd become sort of a friend to me over the years – didn't friends help one another? He had been acting really odd ever since our first prefect patrolling event. That had been the day I had told him James controlled him too much. Remus didn't strike me as the type to hold a grudge for too long, so I was a bit baffled by the sudden lack of ordinary sociability.

As for James, well, my opinions remain the same. I had considered giving him a chance, but, of course, he blew it. He's such a pain; he doesn't deserve it. Maybe if he tried showing some signs of maturity, I would re-evaluate, but of course, he ruined that for me too.

I have a secret though – one that I have never told a living soul or even wrote on a fragment of parchment, for fear of having it discovered. This is a private diary, which is always in my care, so I think it's time to write that secret in here. It's just difficult to put that kind of thing in here – I would rather be shot dead than have the knowledge out there, but here it is.

I used to have a crush on James Potter.

Not a really big one or anything! Not where I was hopelessly addicted to him or staring at him all day! I was in first year and I didn't know any better; couldn't you cut me a break? He was just…he was talented and kind of cute back then and I kind of liked him. This was before he noticed me though – this was when he was normal and not as egotistical. It was halfway through first year when he noticed me and tried to make me like him; up to that point, I had actually considered a bit flirtation for his attention. I had been so stupid; I had wished that he would take an interest me. I guess that fate took my wish a little too seriously. Now I'm stuck, still paying for a little desire I'd had when I was too young to understand the horror of it.

Of course, that crush passed. I don't like him at all now. I promise I don't! If I liked him now, I would have been nice to him. I would have flirted back when he tried to impress me, and I would have probably asked him out too. But I didn't do any of those things; I didn't do them because I don't like him. Kyleigh thinks that I do like him secretly and I'm just a coward who doesn't want to take action – which is, in all probability, quite true – but not in this case. I hate James because he tries too hard to get me to notice him, and because he's simply arrogant and stuck-up. Only brainless nitwits would like a person like that.

Damn it; I'm in Transfiguration at the moment, and Professor McGonagall is getting suspicious of my attention to her, or really, the lack of it. I'd best put this away before she comes, takes it, and reads it; Professor McGonagall is one of those people who, when she threatens to do such a thing, actually does it. I think I'd die if she read my diary.

Hell, I'd die if anyone read my diary.