A/N: This chapter is super short, compared to the other ones, because I have a really long one planned for Chapter 9. Don't worry; the goods are coming very, VERY soon. :D The next chapter will be explosive, and will completely screw up Lily's life, and James's too, come to think of it. Anyway, so just read this and get an idea of how things are working right now so that you know just how much I ruin it in the next chapter. :P And the chapter name? Yeah, I know, it kinda sucks, but it's kind of what they're doing right now. :/

James

November 10th

Dear Diary,

I'm in Transfiguration at the moment, and Lily is driving me insane again.

She's sitting there – working, talking, and laughing – and instead of working myself, I'm watching her and her friends. Kyleigh has just managed to master the art of turning a mouse into a jewelry box, and Leila is still trying to make her box look prettier. Lily is laughing at the two of them; she's made a satisfactory box already and now she's playing with a spare mouse. Leila just gave out this enormous scream when she saw the little creature; that girl is abnormally afraid of mice. Kyleigh doesn't care about mice – she's starting to tease Leila now along with Lily.

As you can see, she is doing nothing out of the ordinary right now, but that's what's driving me insane; I want her to stop messing around with her friends and sit with me, and mess around with me instead. I can't help myself – she's just so perfect, and I want nothing more than for her to realize how much I care, and possibly show some of that feeling back.

Sirius is looking at me like I'm deranged or something right now though. I suppose I am deranged; we are in the middle of class and I am writing in a diary which Remus makes me use, and I'm doing it on my own free will. I guess this stupid book has grown on me after all. Still…Sirius doesn't understand me, in this exemplary instance. He's my best mate, but he's never fallen in love the way I have, and he's never seen a girl the way I see Lily. He can never really recognize what I'm going through, and I'm well aware of this.

Lily is waving her mouse in Leila's face again, and Kyleigh is staring adoringly at Sirius for the sixth time today. Does she have anything better to do in life? Kyleigh is a nice girl, but she's always devoted to either me or Sirius – occasionally both of us at the same time. I try being normal and friendly towards her, but I know that she interprets it much differently that it needs to be taken. That's a little worrisome – I almost know that she will do something rash eventually. I think I've made it pretty clear that I care for Lily though – why can't she see that?

Professor McGonagall just made Leila leave the room for her "disruptive behavior," and Lily is gigging again. I'd give anything for her to giggle like that at something I did, but I know better than to hope by now. Still, it's refreshing to watch her smile, and entertaining to watch Leila sulk. Haha.

Actually, I had Lily on my mind this way yesterday as well; I kept thinking about her during our midnight escapade last night. It was a little less on the exploring side, and was quite high on the Lily side. Yesterday, Remus transformed again, and we followed him out as our animals. We ran around the grounds like we usually did, racing and laughing at each other, but I got bored of it pretty quickly.

"I'm going to go find Lils," I told them all after a while. "I'll be inside the girl's dormitory."

"Bye then, Miss Potter," Sirius said, winking, as he and Peter went back to the Forbidden Forest. "See you later."

I waved and ran upstairs as a stag, which was perhaps not the smartest move, but it added a bit of danger to my otherwise harmless mission, which was, of course, the intent. I barged into the girl's dormitory as planned and turned back into a human being. Stealthily, I crept up to Lily's bed, taking care to be quiet so I wouldn't wake the other girls. I gently moved the covers from her face and began to take her image in.

Lily was even more beautiful when she was asleep, if it was possible. She was so vulnerable; her face, usually radiating with worry and hatred (if I was around), was smooth and undisturbed for once. She seemed to be having pleasant thoughts, since there was a small smile on her face, and she looked so pure and innocent; it was startling, considering that she swore at me often, and enjoyed yelling at me. I admired her in silence for a few minutes before creeping out, pleased with my discoveries; the soft Lily, the one I had fallen in love with, still existed, and with a little bit of work, was mine for the taking. Excellent.

Oh damn; McGonagall is looking at me funny again since I was scribbling in this stupid book for so long and was not playing around with my box. Best be off before she tries to look in here.

Lily

November 10th

Dear Diary,

Time for me to complain again; I seem to need that more than I did in past years. I wonder why. Oh, wait, I don't even have to wonder; I already know that the reason is all this bloody homework.

I know that I'm an over-achiever who's obsessed with her grades and all that, but the homework definitely took a turn for the worst this year. I have a couple of essays still to do, and I'm exhausted. I feel like I'm falling deeper and deeper into a hole I've never been in before, and I know that it probably shows on my face. I'm an open book; people always see what I'm thinking because it's clearly written across my face. I hate that, but it's how it is, I suppose. But, when I look at other people in my year, they seem to be perfectly normal, as though nothing could bother them. Did they already finish their mountains of homework? No, they couldn't have, because all night, they had been laughing at James's jokes. It was beyond aggravating.

I'm trying to seem like this whole homework situation is getting to me. I fool around a lot in class, and I try to laugh and smile as much as I possibly can. Like, today in Transfiguration, I kept dangling a mouse in Leila's face and got her sent out of the room. Kyleigh and I had enjoyed ourselves imitating her squeals when we finished our work; fun was not something I had a lot of nowadays, so the break was refreshing. However, when I got to Charms the next period, I felt horrible again. I spent the period trying to find out why I switched moods so much and so easily, but I came up with absolutely nothing. Great, right? Not really.

I know I've said this before, but I just don't know why this is affecting me so much. Normally, I'm just a little moody and a little extra-busy when I'm worried about my homework, but now, I'm super moody and spend most of the nights working. No, not working; I spend my nights thinking more than usual as well. I mostly think about Chris and Remus. Both of them have been acting different around me lately. Chris flirts with me non-stop, which is weird, because he normally flirts with the prettiest girls in the year. Maybe he needed a break from perfection and wanted someone ugly. That was probably the case, but I was still disconcerted from his attention; since when did I deserve the time of day from a person like Chris? Remus, too, has been odd; he's always embarrassed and flustered when he's around me. I don't think about him as much though; I know that he probably doesn't like me because he's too sensible, but I thought I'd mention his peculiarity as well.

Ugh; I've only just realized that it's eleven now, and I have another essay yet to finish before I retire for the night. Joy. I'd better finish that; hopefully something of consequence will occur that will be worth writing about – today wasn't one of those types of days.